Originally Published in KinkEMag.com
A gentleman got in touch with me in a panic that he and his wife were not doing cuckolding right. I felt bad for him because he was so upset. He had been doing some online reading and unfortunately he tripped over the some of the more hardcore cuckolding sites and thought that because he wasn’t being caged or tied to the end of the bed like a dog or because he wasn’t engaging in any bi-sexual play or chastity that some invisible cuckolding police will slide out from under his bed and arrest him.
Let’s get one thing straight, there are only two hard and fast rules about cuckolding that you need to keep in mind; one is that cuckolding is a FEMALE LED SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP therefore all the shots are called by the woman. And two, is that as a couple you MUST have clear and open lines of communication in place. That’s it. There are no cuckolding police but that would be an interesting occupation.
Now why I made a point of saying sexual relationship is because many couples choose to run their relationship outside of the bedroom in a very vanilla and traditional way with the male being the more dominant of the pair, then they flip the switch. Many sites will have you believe that the woman must be in charge of everything and it doesn’t have to be that way.
After speaking with this gentleman a bit more it turns out that he and his wife turned to cuckolding after he was diagnosed with an impotence problem that left him unable to have sex at all. He didn’t want his wife who is only in her late thirties to have to give up her sex drive because of his health issues although she was quite willing to do so.
He told me that all these blogs talking about extreme play in cuckolding made him worried that he wasn’t cuckolding properly. He said that he and his wife had decided they would pick out suitable lovers for her together and he would be involved by being in the room when her lover was over because he truly enjoyed watching his wife be satisfied sexually. But they didn’t like the more BDSM things they were reading online.
The way this couple chose to play is actually a typical cuckold relationship not the exception. Sure you can take this to the kinkiest conclusion you want but it doesn’t have to go that way. Try to remember that when it comes to alternative lifestyles and relationships there are no rules and that it’s more important to integrate it in a way the suits the two of you. What your neighbors down the street are doing doesn’t matter. It’s all about taking an idea and molding it in a way that works for the two of you. Now if you find out your neighbors are doing something you find kinky and you want to try it then by all means go ahead and see if it works for you.
I love that this wonderful man chose to put his wife’s needs above his own. He wasn’t afraid to think outside the box and refused to look at his medical issues as a dead end for both of them. He could have decided to be bitter and expect that his wife adopt his negative attitude but instead they now have a stronger marriage than ever. That’s how it’s done!