Can Cuckolding Ruin a Marriage?

Of course it can if you’re not open.Cuckold Pitfalls

Here’s the best foundation to make cuckolding work in your relationship:

It’s essential that each partner be honest and upfront about their feelings.  There is no right or wrong way to cuckold. The trick is to make it work for the two of you. There are so many different ways to cuckold that the possibilities are endless but at no time should one person jump ahead and do something without consulting the other, unless you agree on that ahead of time.

I always suggest that couples have at least one day a week where they aren’t dominant and submissive they’re Bob and Carol.  During this time you sit down and discuss what’s working and what isn’t for each partner.  The number one key to making cuckolding work is communication.  If one partner resents something the other is doing, you’re in for a big fall.  Sounds obvious but it’s easy to get carried away with your roles and just start to assume that the other person is cool with whatever you have in mind.

Lay out ground rules before you start.  For some couples the cuckolded male wants to watch his partner get properly fucked.  Other couples find that the cuckolded male wants to only listen or hear about the session after it’s over with no participation at all.  This just has to do with what senses you use in eroticism. Some people are auditory they want to hear it all but not see it and vice versa.  This actually works well to start off with too. Sometimes it’s easier for the newly dominant female to jump on board with the idea of cuckolding if she can choose her fuck toy herself and break the ice by fucking him on her own but telling her partner about it after the fact.  Remember, baby steps, don’t rush things and go with whatever makes each person comfortable.  Once the ice is broken and she’s more comfortable then she might start bringing her toys home with her for the cuckold to watch.

If during your ‘Bob and Carol’ once a week meetings one person says, ‘I’d rather be there with you when this is going on,’ make sure the other is ready for that.  Remember guys, sometimes it’s hard for a woman who’s been newly introduced to cuckolding to get past the fact that you aren’t going to leave her for cheating, or call her a whore during a fight.  That’s a BIG no-no.  If you decide to go this route, you can NEVER…EVER hold what you do behind closed doors against the other person.  The biggest hurdle for a woman to get over is this fear of you doing just that.  You can’t have it both ways.

All this being said, I’ve found that most cuckold relationships are actually stronger than their vanilla counterparts. Why?  Because there’s no cheating and sneaking around.  Everything is above board and both partners are getting what they want.  There’s no need to go behind someone’s back.


  1. Pakks says

    Cuckolding relationships aren’t stronger. That’s just fantasy. People find that out when the wife wants a divorce or doesn’t allow the husband to have sex with her anymore and goes out with the other guy.

    The men that are cucks are perfect for the women/wives that just can’t be in a monogamous relationship.

  2. Dan says

    Isn’t it a BIG no-no for a woman to have sex with another man in the first place? I do agree that it’s a no-no if the man approached his wife with the idea. But if she came up with the idea, then he should have the right to say anything he wants. Remember that cuckolding can take place for different reasons. It could be a case where a man cannot sexually satisfy his wife. It’s one thing for a man to choose to be a cuckold. It’s another for a man to have no choice but to be a cuckold, otherwise his wife leaves him. You should also say “Remember girls, sometimes it’s hard for a man who’s been newly introduced to cuckolding to get past the fact that you aren’t going to leave him for a man that can sexually satisfy you, or call him a loser or inadequate during a fight. That’s a BIG no-no. Remember that the cuckold stands to lose the most in the lifestyle. A man’s (if he still feels like a man) ego is very fragile. He is the only one who is humiliated and demeaned. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. The bull could have an STD, she could leave the husband for the bull, she could lose respect for her husband, he could lose respect for her etc. Furthermore, there are some bulls out there who feel guilty sleeping with another man’s wife. They feel uncomfortable because they try to put themselves in the cuckold’s shoes. Thankfully, the majority of women don’t really know what cuckolding means. Not every woman is comfortable with sleeping around. Especially married women.

  3. Jay Nelson says

    A great post and your point about communication is right on the money. I would add that each partner has to know that they have absolute veto power both on a moment to mmoment basis and with regard to the big picture. I think something like a safe word is crucial. Something that says: “Honey. This is too much for me right now.” Additionally each partner has to know that during “Bob and Carol” time she/he can say “No more. I’m done.” Like any other fantasy, cuckolding can feel very different in actual practice than it does when you’re just whispering in each others ears and reality can be too much. Both parties need to be willing to stop if the other partner can’t handle it. Stopping is hard. It may require counseling and even lead to ending the relationship. However, like any other sexual activity, cuckolding must, at the end of the day, be consensual or it’s just cheating.

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