Hello Dr. Sue maybe you have touched on this subject in one way shape or form but we know after some individuals have lost everything to there Findoms, and in some cases has i’m sure caused depression at their losses. Do you think a finsub has ever committed suicide after his Findom has bled him dry and cuts off contact with him, blocking him from contacting her after he has become addicted to her.
This is a great question Rich but one that I have no factual information on however that doesn’t mean we can’t come to some logical conclusions.
In the digital world we live in today we have never been more connected yet disconnected. The internet affords anonymity and fosters a façade lifestyle. It allows us to connect with each other instantly yet we don’t really connect at all. The issue with this type of lifestyle is that although we can connect digitally and talk to people we might have never met, it can also breed indifference and disconnect.
We’re a throw-away society now. Someone pisses you off, you block and move on. DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. So in this new BDSM online realm, there is a lot of throw-away behavior. When you don’t physically see someone it’s easier to disconnect from your empathy. And if a Domme doesn’t give a shit about her sub she can do a lot of damage. Now I’m not saying that all online Domme’s don’t give a shit about their subs, nothing could be further from the truth but online domination is a way to keep subs at arm’s length. So although you can foster a fantastic relationship with folks online, the chances of you getting burned are very, very high. And fosters the façade, disconnect, throw-away mentality more than financial domination.
If a Domme is just in it for the money, and many are, she’s not going to care that the sub is smitten with her beyond all hope of sanity. She’s not going to give a rat’s ass about the fact that he just had his wife walk out on him, taking his kids with her because he bankrupted the family. It’s like Goodfella’s, “Fuck you, pay me!” Because findom is very much like classic cosa nostra.
Now before my lovely findom friends have a thrombo, there is another school of thought on this that we have to consider and that I remind men of when they call to bitch about what the horrible woman did to them.
The horrible woman who never held a gun to your head and in most cases isn’t even in the same geographical area as you didn’t come to your home and force you to pay her, did she? She didn’t hold a knife to your wife’s throat and demand all the money in your retirement account, did she? No, YOU have to take responsibility for that. YOU sought out the services of this woman to do EXACTLY what you asked her to do. So if you fall down the rabbit hole and find yourself living in a cardboard box with a gun in your mouth, that’s on you. These women are NOT therapists or trained mental health experts who can see when someone is getting out of control; therefore the onus is on sub. Now that’s a harsh reality but a reality nonetheless.
I have personally heard horror stories but none of them involved suicide. I have heard of families irretrievably broken with kids who try to contact the Domme to get her to stop ruining their family. Some of the stories are truly heartbreaking. I deal with men all day long who are dealing with the consequences of the decisions they’ve made and the addictions they’ve developed. And although I can’t say I have heard of anyone committing suicide over a findom discarding a sub I’m sure it’s happened somewhere at some point.
But who’s fault is it? The pusher or the junkie?
What do you think? Sound off in the comments below.