Does Sucking Cock Make Me Gay?

Pat probably thinks I forgot about him but I didn’t.  He wrote me last month, yeah I know I’m a procrastinator with way too many balls in the air, but he always makes such valid points that I know others will benefit from and he’s done it again!

Here’s what Pat wrote:

“Does submitting to someone of the same sex, while otherwise being attracted only to the opposite sex, make someone bisexual?

Over the last few years I’ve realized that I am sexually submissive with women, and possibly, maybe with the right kind of man as well. But I otherwise have no interest in men. I have no desire for a vanilla sexual interaction with a man. It’s just about dominance and submission.

Have you ever encountered submissives like this and what do you think it means?”

I talk to many, MANY people who are sitting in this position.  You guys always hear me talk about the sliding scale of sexuality.  If we peeled away all the layers we are all inherently bi-sexual on some level.  It’s just that some of us lean more one way or the other.  Take myself for example; I have no lesbian tendencies at all.  I’ve watched girl-on-girl porn, I’ve actually even participated in threesomes with 2 girls and one VERY LUCKY guy, yet I had no inclination to go near the other women, the urge or eroticism just isn’t there. But I DO know that given the right circumstances and the right mood or ambiance that I might go down that road.  Who knows?  I’m not about to pigeon hole myself and say, NO WAY I’M NEVER TACO MUNCHING!

I counsel primarily men and there are so many of you guys who are sitting in this position which I would say is right, dead smack in the middle of the sliding scale and sometimes that’s a harder position to be in.

I will say this again and again until I’m blue in the face; Pat’s position is all based on D & s.  When you’re feeling sexually submissive, it’s more your need and desire to serve that makes you suck another man’s cock.  It has NOTHING to do with your sexual orientation.  Guys always figure if I suck a cock I’m a fag.  Wrong!  Unless you have romantic desires (i.e. Find other men sexually attractive and would go in to a romantic relationship with them) for the opposite sex you are NOT gay!  Are you bi? Yup!  But remember even bi-sexuality has a sliding scale.  It’s our society’s need to label everything that fucks up your heads.

A submissive male who sucks another guys cock is not gay he’s SERVING! He’s PLEASING! It’s coming from that submissive part of you not the sexual orientation part of you.  I see more people in pain from having confusing thoughts that don’t conform to what society deems as ‘normal’ that it saddens me.  If we weren’t so god damn focused on what our neighbor is doing or who they’re fucking people wouldn’t have to feel this emotional confusion and pain.  What you do behind closed doors (consensually) is none of anyone’s business.  Would I like for everyone to be able to discuss what they do openly without judgment? Hell ya! Is that going to happen in our lifetimes? Sadly, no.

Even when you are in that submissive situation and you are sucking his cock or doing anything else sexually to this, I’m assuming, alpha male and he’s telling you you’re a ‘dirty faggot,’ even THAT doesn’t mean anything. It’s part of the humiliation streak that goes along with your submissiveness.

I have men who phone me in complete FEAR who say to me, “what if I suck a cock and like it?”  So?  Let’s look at that, you suck a cock and you like it, chances are you’re not enjoying the oral based on, “oh I want this guy to like me,” it’s because you are SERVING. You are delighting the idea of pleasing this guy and a lot of times it’s at the behest of a Dominant female who’s telling you to do it.  In that case you’re doing what you’re told, you’re a good sub in that moment. Just relax and enjoy that wonderful feeling of submission instead of letting your mind squirrels tell you you’re wrong, or fucked in the head.  You’re not!!!!

The real key in enjoying what you do is letting go of trying to ‘fit in’ with the rest of the world.  Why on earth do you want to fit in with a bunch of fickle, mind-changing, bigoted, paranoid people? It’s a game you CANNOT win.  So to try to play it is more ridiculous than you sucking a cock.  Do what you love, what makes you feel good and let go of the societal/religious programming.

Sucking a cock in a D & s situation DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAY!