The problem with society and fetish is clearly ignorance and that can even take place within the fetish community itself. I’ve been to many gatherings that were exclusionary and elitist to that group. Those of you who know me, know I constantly get on my soapbox about not putting everyone and everything in to nice neat little boxes. Life isn’t that perfect or easily defined.
I have clients who worry they’re gay or bi, who the hell cares? Quit labeling yourself and everyone else around you. Even comments on this site can be very one sided. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t make it wrong.
We as individual human beings cannot possibly keep up with or please everyone else and we spend way too much time trying to do so. Hell most of the trouble people are in financially is because of getting caught up in having the latest, shiniest new toy that the dude next door has or better yet a bigger one. If we can’t tolerate differences in race, sex, lifestyle, religion or anything else for that matter how the hell are you supposed to please society?
Here’s what I tell most people who are concerned about what ‘others’ may think of what they enjoy sexually. STOP IT!! What you do behind closed doors is your business. Will someone else ‘get it’ probably not, so don’t try to beat your head against a wall explaining it. We came here to experience joy and love and happiness and that can be so easily attained if we all just mind our own business.
Now do we have to draw a line in the sand? Yes. Obviously if you’re bliss and your joy affect someone, or something else against their will then you’ve crossed a line. Your sexual fun should never hurt or degrade someone else who isn’t in to it, who isn’t consenting.
Sure there are some of you who enjoy pain being inflicted, humiliation, degradation and other forms of submission similar and that’s AWESOME! Go for it, have a ball and do what you want but if the person having the pain, humiliation or other torture is not enjoying it or it’s being inflicted against their will then it’s wrong. Things such as child pornography or enslavement, beastiality (or zoophilia), human sex slave trafficking are wrong because you are imposing your will against theirs and that’s to say nothing of the morality of it but even that’s subjective.
The point is, instead of thinking ‘that person is totally fucked up because they enjoy being bossed around by a woman,’ just mind your business. If they like it, it’s going to make them a happier person therefore anyone around them is going to benefit. It may not be your bag but it doesn’t make it wrong or in any way deviant.