G writes:
(sic) it’ s too nice the idea of loosing it all because of her blackmail! What should i do? Resist or let her my social and financial life?
Seriously? You guys need to go back to grammar school, but I’m giving you a pass on this one G cause you are using a
translation service I see. That aside, the decision is ultimately yours to make G. No one can tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. If you want to resist because you get off on her trying to take more then go with that. If you want to learn what it’s like to give yourself over and let her run your financial and social life, again, go ahead. You’ve read enough on this site I’m sure, that you know the dangers of doing what you’re doing.
As I always say, if it feels good, do it. If it doesn’t, and that includes regret afterward, then don’t. It’s really that simple.
NEVER REGRET!
Hi Dr. Sue,
i guess this exactly what i wanted and i will not regret. Im the one who picked up the phone to talk and then ultimately push the button to be on cam. Opening up to ideas on some deeper level i have yet to understand. Feels so good to just let go and not think. Also feels good to go into debt. Not as scary as it was when i first started and i have come to accept it as my new norm. I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to let go and experience blackmail. I probably would not last 2 weeks ha ha. But the thought is there. I picture more of a constant…. money leaving drip by drip so i can enjoy longer as opposed to a race to the bottom. Its like its a spell or trance. The urges flow and seem to be connected to my willy. Willy responds and i let go Then repeat going deeper and deeper. Not sure whats next for me but i am going to embrace it. For what i have learn in life is that there is one thing constant and that is change. So i am going to embrace the change, The good, the bad, the ugly. Is that an italion western
gweggy
I think any guy in this predicament needs to get psychological help. Playing with power exchange is one thing. Ruining your life is another. This is a clear cut case of addiction; you know it’s going to ruin your life, yet you do it anyway, just to get a momentary thrill. It’s no different than someone smoking crack.
Why does findom have to involve blackmailing someone and ruining their life?
Dr Sue and Rich have stated not to get involved if you fear the consequences. Well, maybe he didn’t anticipate those consequences. He didn’t anticipate that she would publicly expose him just to keep him paying. It’s like if you had a foot fetish and a domme secretly video taped you worshiping her feet in order to keep you worshiping her. No sub enters into foot worship to be blackmailed. He didn’t anticipate nor does he deserve that.
Or consider a sub who voluntarily allows himself to be whipped. Well, what if the mistress decides to whip the skin right off his ass as he screams in pain and begs her to stop. Hey, he voluntarily let her strap him down. She’s just doing her job, right? No, actually she’s abusing her power. She’s not a domme. She’s a predator. And findom is full of predators.
If you want to pay a “princess” by buying her new shoes every month or making her car payment, and you can afford it, hey, it’s your money. If that makes you happy, I don’t see any problem with it. Nor am I criticizing a domme that accepts gifts like that or even makes that a requirement of serving her.
It’s this blackmail that Rich describes that has me seeing red. Using every vulnerability he discloses to suck a little more out of him when he really doesn’t want to do it. He didn’t sign up for that. The regret would be all hers if she ever tried that with me.
As with anything in BDSM, if it’s not SSC, than it’s not right.
Hello, well i completely agree with Dr.Sue, as i’m a paypet owned by a Mistress, it’s very simple as Dr. Sue stated don’t get involved if you fear the consequences, because if you do start off spending good money on a Mistress and or purchasing her things, she more than likely will make it hard for you to leave her, all the while she is gathering personal info on you, and what you might have told her voluntarily, which then you have no one to blame but yourself. Dr. Sue always gives very insightful advice and has even posted my thoughts on financial domination which i greatly appreciate, take her advice if you don’t want to get involved in this lifestyle. As i stated i do belong to a findom and as she has stated to me, she owns me and every aspect of my life, so she does mean business, i have spent thousands of dollars on her, but i have been her property for quite sometime.. See you might seek a Mistress out which is your fault, after that as Dr. Sue has stated many times if the Mistress sees potential in you $$$$$, she will find your vulnerabilities and weaknesses to keep you hooked on her, and believe me if you have met a Mistress that knows her job well she will attack those very weaknesses which will keep you coming back, and she knows this. Many ways Mistresses will do this is by her clips, sometimes even making a clip or two mentioning you in a round about way, maybe not by your real name but titling a clip that she knows you will see that it’s about you, and or mentioning you in a blog, by you reading that she has taken notice in you and how you will keep spending because she is all you have in life and you live to please her, these are ways that subsequently keep you hooked and not staying away. In the end though don’t play the victim, you’re really there because you want to be, and what i must emphasize is don’t play the victim with your Mistress, she will really get a kick out of it, if anything if you email her doing this, and or are on messenger she will more than likely save the transcript to post on her site for everyone to see just to expose you whining, while the entire time she is laughing and still spending your money. Just my thoughts on the subject.
Bravo Rich!!!
What you said, Dr. Sue, is so true. There is a certain allure to having some woman take all my money, but I also have to think about what I’m going to do after she’s taken it.
Exactly, thinking about what happens after She’s done and i am broke is keeping me grounded. For now.