Originally Published in KinkEMag.com
I consider the best part of my job as a counselor to be when I suggest couples make a few changes to an otherwise ‘written off’ relationship and then watch as everything old is new again. In the past several weeks I’ve had the pleasure of working with two gentlemen who never thought to explore their submissive side. One gentleman is divorced from his wife, the other still with his wife but she has cheated on him in the recent past.
When you look at those two situations you might think that they’re both screwed. The one guy has already lost his wife, the other probably about to lose his so what’s the point? Well after talking to each of them I was able to determine that these two relationships could still be salvaged, yes even after divorce.
Neither of these gentlemen really gave much thought about their submissive side until I brought it to the forefront and suggested they look at their lives differently. In each case they had sexually submissive thoughts but by changing and expanding on the scenario they usually masturbate to it opened a while new world of possibilities. It’s like playing on the holodeck of the Enterprise on Star Trek. Each one responded very strongly to the visualizations I gave them putting them in submission to their wives.
This is when I brought up cuckolding.
Once we had the chance to go over not only their fantasies but some of the reality of the their lives thus far they realized, like a bulb lighting up over their heads that this is what they should have done all along. Just like in the advice I give in this month’s Answer Avenue to the gentleman who was upset about realizing he’s submissive, both of these boys were so involved in living their lives the way they ‘should’ that they lost themselves and their relationship’s in the process.
These are the couples with the house, the 2.5 kids, the dog and to everyone else they look idyllic. Nay nay, (I miss you John Pinette) here you have people who got caught up in the ‘family dream.’ I’m not saying that the family dream is a bad thing but unfortunately it usually comes with BOREDOM. The woman starts to feel like she needs more than driving the kids to hockey practice and lying in bed waiting for the sex she gets from her husband maybe once a week but usually less, to be over.
It’s not a conscious thing. She’s not doing it to be a bitch, she’s bored. The husbands are usually hiding quietly in the basement calling phone sex lines trying to live out the fantasies they can’t possibly tell their wives while the wife is upstairs watching Game of Thrones wondering what else there is and once this point in the relationship is reached, the nit picking starts. You know those fabulous fights you have over the top not being put back on the toothpaste, or the dreaded toilet seat being left up, when all the while the elephant in the room that no one will speak of is the mouse in the husband’s pants. Every single time I drill down past the submission I find a teenie weenie.
In the case of our guy who is divorced from his wife he had never really measured himself before. When I brought up the fact that he’s probably small he said he really thought he was average but after our first talk he measured himself to find he’s 3.5 inches erect.
His wife left him after several years of both of them being unhappy about everything but what it really was. It’s not either one’s fault, they weren’t conscious of what the real issue was. After further discussion he told me his wife had cheated on him and had ‘butt dialed’ him one night when she was with her lover. He sat and listened to his wife having sex with another man and when I asked him if it made him angry or if it made him horny he replied, horny. She was already cuckolding him but neither one of them new it. He was too ashamed to admit that he was turned on by everything that had happened and was still very much in love with his ex.
Cut to what is happening now with this couple even though it has only been a few short weeks I had him talk to his ex-wife, she did quite a bit of research and found out one of her close friends was cuckolding her husband but no one talks about it. Now she has validation from her friend and a huge source of information and games to play. She has grabbed on to the idea and run with it. She’s never felt sexier than she does now even though she’s still driving the kids to hockey practice. They are closer now than they ever have and although they aren’t moving back in together yet, I can see it being possible in the future but even if they don’t, they’re happy. And happy means happy kids.
As for the other guy whose wife was recently cheating on him, I told him he needed to discuss cuckolding with her. I told him how to do it, what to say, how to approach the subject and it went equally well. Although they have some bugs to work out, that’s common when you start something new, he’s never been happier. He doesn’t have to, in his words, ‘fool’ anyone anymore. He never gave his submissiveness a second thought but when I mentioned cuckolding along with visualization he was very turned-on. And yes he too has a small penis that he never really gave much thought to. He thought his calls to phone sex lines would be the extent of his submissive side. After all, he along with the other guy run mid-sized corporations by day, ‘I’m not submissive.’
In the case of the women they think, ‘well he’s a good provider and a loving man I can just live with his dick size.’ Again the classic case of societal programming, women should always ‘shut up, be nice and settle.’ That’s what good submissive girls do. But when you put cuckolding on the table and you let a woman do a little research in her own time most, not all but most, feel something click just like the sub does.
Cuckolding in the right circumstances is a win-win-win. The submissive husband gets to be himself. He no longer has the pressure of also being a stud in the bedroom. Something that is quite difficult for most submissive guys with small dicks. They feel a weight is lifted when they don’t have to pretend anymore. The wife gets the provider she loves, the good father she adores and the loving arms of her husband along with sex with a man who fulfills her desires. The bull/alpha/lover gets to have sex with a variety of women which is great because true alpha males find it hard to stay faithful. He’s not there to cuddle and help you pick out school clothes for the kids. He’s there for one reason, his own lust getting quenched.
Cuckolding is catching on in the bedrooms of average couples all over the world. I’ve been working with another couple in India. I’m not saying it’s the answer to every couple’s problem but if the circumstances are right it’s an option. We already live with the statistics of 50% of all marriages end up in divorce, if this helps keep a few families together happily as opposed to begrudgingly than I’m happy. And I won’t lie it makes me feel good to know I had a little hand in bringing about that happiness.