Originally Published in KinkEMag.com
Just why there aren’t more women who are in to cuckolding isn’t an easy answer because everyone is different and the reasons can be multifaceted but here are a few to consider:
They don’t know it exists. The main reason why so many women aren’t cuckolding their partners is because they don’t know what cuckolding is. They’ve never heard of it. And as I always say, ‘they don’t know, what they don’t know.’ Women have millions of things to think about and coming up with alternative relationship ideas isn’t in the forefront of their minds. Men are usually the ones who find out about cuckolding by surfing porn sites, phone chat sites and social media. Women rarely have the time for that kind of internet indulgence.
Religious/moral reasons. If the idea of having sex with other men even remotely rubs up against her religious or moral beliefs you don’t stand a chance, and pushing her to go against those beliefs is wrong. This is one of the few things that I won’t create a ‘work around’ for when I’m teaching men how to bring up the subject of cuckolding to their partner. No one should be made to go against their own spiritual beliefs to satisfy your carnal ones. So if you’re up against a very dedicated disciple of any belief, it’s not going to happen.
It’s gross. This reason piggyback’s the previous one only without the religious overtones. When we are little girls we don’t fantasize about being swept off our feet by Prince Charming and five of his friends. It’s usually the white picket fence, 2.5 children and a dog that we see and the idea of taking our picture perfect family life and sprinkling it with your perversions doesn’t sit well in our minds. When we signed the marriage certificate we didn’t notice several other signatures so it becomes an invasion of the relationship and the vows that we hold sacred. It feels wrong and somehow filthy to have our Prince Charming sitting in a corner with his dick in his hand leering while someone else defiles us as we perform like a circus animal.
Social/Societal. Good girls don’t behave like whores. What would my mother say? What would my BFF say? This isn’t NORMAL. Women are very influenced by their friends and family. I’ve seen women go out on a first date and then run the guy by her friends only to have these friends bury the dude. He didn’t stand a chance against that kind of scrutiny. So think about everything that will go through a woman’s head thinking about having sex with guys other than her significant other and what someone else might think. That’s a lot of thinking. And all that thinking leads to being overwhelmed.
Fear. Even if your lady doesn’t have any of the other issues the first thing that will go through her head is, “what’s the catch?” She might be wondering what will happen the first time you have a fight. Will you throw it back in her face and call her a whore for doing what you asked her to do? Will you hold it against her at some point? Legitimate fears.
Lack of Self Esteem. If you’re honey is down on herself and the idea of having sex with you with the lights on freaks her out let alone having SOMEONE ELSE in the same room then the idea of cuckolding will be paralyzing to her. She will be wondering what it is she did or didn’t do right for you to be thinking these things. She’ll figure she is somehow to blame for you not being satisfied with your sex life the way it is.
These are some of the more common reasons that I have heard from women that I’ve counselled over the years. And it can be one or a combination of several of them. Most of these reasons can be overcome with the obvious exception of religious beliefs, but the idea isn’t to bully someone in to your kink.
Once a woman is given a less perverse and more intellectual basis for investigating this type of lifestyle and they discover just how empowering and freeing it is to flip the stereotype of men being virile for having multiple lovers and women being whores, they come alive.
It’s not a sexual lifestyle for everyone but then that’s the beauty of life; having those options. You make your preferences work for you as a couple, whatever those preferences are. It’s about compromise just like every other part of your relationship. Pushing someone in to doing anything they don’t want to do leads to resentment at the very least. It’s better to find a way to make it work for the both of you.