Originally Published in KinkEMag.com
I really should have started off Cuckold Corner with this article but the Jungle Love issue of Kink E Magazine just begged to have the racial aspects of cuckolding brought to light. So we’ll go backwards now and start from the beginning.
So just what is cuckolding anyway? Cuckolding is a female led relationship where the woman has sex with other men usually, but not always, in front of her partner who does NOT have sex outside the relationship. That’s as simple as I can make it but understand there are many facets to a cuckold relationship.
Why I emphasized female led is because there is quite a bit of misinformation on the web that seems to lean toward the lovers (also known as alpha males or bulls) being in charge and THAT couldn’t be farther from the truth and will have an effect on the success of implementing this type of lifestyle.
I think it’s easier if I tell you a bit of my story so you can see how I figured out that it was a good fit for my relationship and maybe yours.
I have been in a cuckold relationship with my boyfriend for 20 years this year (2015) – which is also the length of time we’ve been together. I was married once and it ended horribly as did my boyfriend’s so we’re not in any hurry to run to the altar. Essentially after all this time we are wife and husband and we refer to each other as such.
My boyfriend is an amazing man; super intelligent and one of the hardest working individuals I’ve ever met in my life and I love him dearly…but he sucks in bed. Yeah that’s harsh but it’s the reality that I was faced with.
Now what? Some women wouldn’t have let the screen door hit their own ass on the way out. They would have chucked the relationship. But for me, I felt it would be wrong to throw the baby out with the bathwater. It seemed downright stupid to chuck a relationship just because the sex sucked. So yes I could have walked away and there have been many times I wish I had but it would have felt like I was giving up on him like everyone else had, besides I can be pretty stubborn.
So I have a perfectly good relationship with a crappy sex life, now what do I do? Well I’m a former pro dominatrix so I pulled that out of my hat and got a little response. Ah ha! I was on to something.
Eventually through trial and error, mostly error, I was able to determine his level of submissiveness. And it’s actually not that deep. He’s not a sissy, hates verbal humiliation and loathes pain. For a Domme that doesn’t leave much to work with. (By the way this relationship was one of the reasons I got into sex/fetish psychology).
When I started peeling back the layers I found out he was turned on by the idea of me giving another guy a blow job. BINGO! Cuckolding was the perfect fit.
Having a dominant personality I tend to be a control freak so there was no way in hell I was swinging. God bless you guys who do it but I am too selfish. There was no way this was going to be a two-way street. Would he have liked to go down the swing road? Of course, he’s a guy but he knew it would never happen and to be honest it wasn’t that big of a deal to him. He was more interested in seeing me pleased. That’s what turned him on. Thus our cuckold relationship was born and it’s worked for us ever since.
Now I’m sure some of you guys out there are thinking, “hell no!” You would never in a million years let your wife or girlfriend fuck another guy, let alone do it in front of you. That simply tells you that you aren’t a good candidate for this type of relationship.
It takes a very strong man to be a cuckold. Now that may seem contradictory when we’re talking about submissive men but you have to be extremely secure in yourself and your partner. You have to know that nothing will come between the two of you. Not a lot of people can claim to trust their partner to that degree.
In an age where couples are cheating left and right cuckolding is refreshing. There is no lying, no going behind anyone’s back. Everything is above board and communication is wide open. Many couples I’ve worked with have said that they have never felt closer. Men involved in cuckold relationships have reported to me that they feel relieved of the pressure of having to be these amazing lovers that they just aren’t for various reasons including erectile dysfunction, low libido and penis size.
Although cuckolding is becoming increasingly popular it isn’t being discussed openly too much yet. It’s all over the internet but not something you’ll hear being talked about over a latte at your favorite coffee shop. (But I’ll guarantee you that there’s at least one couple on your block that are in a cuckold relationship) And there’s still a lot of stigma attached to cuckolding due to the reversal of roles but that is slowly changing.