As with anything there are pitfalls in cuckolding and I want to share with you a story of a client of mine who was taken down a road he wasn’t ready for. This is a true story but the names have been changed.
Paul is a sweet soul in his fifties who called me one day to tell me about his fantasy of being cuckolded by his wife Amanda who is also in her fifties. You see Paul’s wife had an affair several years ago and it almost broke up the relationship. Ever since then Amanda was very faithful but sexually unfulfilled and Paul couldn’t figure out why he kept fantasizing about what went on during her affair. So I discussed his fantasy with him and we both came to the conclusion that she just might go for a cuckold relationship based on this affair that she had.
Paul did everything right. When we both felt she was ready he proposed the idea of a cuckold relationship. They sat and discussed at length what their boundaries were and she was really open to the idea and to following some common sense rules.
Paul knew that Amanda still thought about the guy she had the affair with and since the idea of her hooking up with the guy turned him on he figured that giving her the green light to start up the affair again would work really well. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Unfortunately he went ahead and said it was okay for her to get in touch with this guy again before he talked to me. I told him that Amanda going to a man that she had feelings for before was in fact the worst thing he could do. It’s never a good idea to go back to former lovers in cuckolding because the point of a cuckold relationship is that the alpha/bull/stud is just used for sex and that’s it. He’s not there to replace the husband and by introducing someone she had feelings for you run too big a risk of her falling for him all over again. When a bull male gets too close to me and starts to profess his love I kick him to the curb. That may sound harsh but I’m not looking to complicate my life and my relationship. Paul was sure it would all be fine because they were communicating openly.
Everything started out really well. Amanda hooked up with Jeremy the mid-thirties, black, stud muffin she had the affair with again and Paul at first got to hear about it but in no time was watching her have sex with this guy in their home, in their bed. He couldn’t be happier. Amanda was thrilled and in Paul’s words seemed to come alive again. Jeremy had her wearing provocative outfits that she never would have worn for Paul and she seemed to thrive on Jeremy’s attention. For me all of this was throwing up red flags because Jeremy was starting to take over Amanda. But Paul was happy and was still positive that everything was perfect.
Paul started funding trips for Amanda and Jeremy. It’s important for me to note here that Paul is a somewhat affluent man who was not hurting for money. Not rich but extremely comfortable. He and Amanda lived in a big beautiful home. Paul ran his own company and Amanda also had her career which was how she met Jeremy. So he had the means to fund trips and pay for fine dining. Soon he was also funding tattoos that Jeremy wanted on Amanda.
The sexual component seemed to be progressing as well. Paul felt his submission reaching new heights as they explored even more kinky ideas in the bedroom. Paul began sucking Jeremy to prepare him to fuck Amanda and eventually allowed Jeremy to fuck him as well. Jeremy was very good at giving orders and had Paul exploring his feminine side by wearing panties in the bedroom on their nights together, and he was no longer allowed to touch Amanda at all as she was now owned by Jeremy. And Paul was eating it up.
Now I’m a big believer that although I wasn’t happy about what was going on it was their relationship to do with what they wanted. I continued to counsel Paul and show him my concerns but in the end they are all adults and are perfectly within their rights to do whatever they wanted. Whether I liked it or not was irrelevant. This was Paul’s life and I was there to support him.
In one of our sessions Paul confided in me that all his wife had always wanted to have a baby but they were never able to conceive and now the theme of Amanda getting pregnant by another man had started to infiltrate his cuckold fantasies.
I cautioned him that this is something that can be integrated in to their relationship but that it cannot be something you just consider one day and then implement the next. There had to be an enormous amount of thought in a decision that huge but fantasizing about it was completely normal.
It didn’t take long before fantasy became reality and Paul decided he wanted Amanda to get pregnant by Jeremy. Once again I told him my concerns. A woman having a child with a man she had feelings for in a scenario like this probably won’t end well. I told him to get legal counsel and to have a contract drawn up clearly delineating the rights and responsibilities of all parties. This he did…thank god. Jeremy signed the contract removing his parental rights to the possible child.
Now understand that all of this was going down in the time span of less than three months. It’s not like this new relationship dynamic was seasoned and marinating slowly. No, it was going at lightning speed and all I’m seeing are the red flashing lights of impending doom.
Paul’s weakness was Amanda’s breasts and she and Jeremy used this to drive his submission even deeper, which in a more stable situation would be fantastic. At Jeremy’s command she would use her breasts to mesmerize him. Promising small sessions of touching and if he was really lucky he might be able to suckle at them but even this started to become less frequent. Paul didn’t care. He was in the process of watching his wife become impregnated by another man. What could be better? She gets the child she always wanted and he gets to be the guy who made it happen for her.
It wasn’t long before Amanda was finally pregnant with the child she always wanted. Amanda was in heaven and Paul was completely enraptured by the whole situation. Then came the day that Jeremy decided Paul was to be put in chastity and Jeremy was to be the key-holder. Paul called me and told me he had been caged by Jeremy but when I asked him if he liked it he wasn’t thrilled. They had put a large padlock on the device and I told him that if he didn’t want to be caged that he was well within his rights to say no. He had been in chastity at this point approximately three weeks and although he loved the chastity the fact that Jeremy had the key made him nervous. So I got him to go in the garage and get the bolt cutters and remove the device which he promptly did.
This didn’t sit well with Jeremy so he resorted to more breast tease and denial to capture his attention and servitude. Once again the chastity device was put back on and Paul went in to a state of very deep submission to both Jeremy and Amanda. This is common when a submissive is placed in chastity and as I said before if this was a better situation it would be a wonderful thing.
It became apparent to me that Jeremy had started to do some serious research on mind control. When Paul would call and catch me up on what was going on I noticed some serious changes to his mental state but by now Amanda had become pregnant with Jeremy’s child and Paul was knee deep in what I can only call a form of Stockholm Syndrome, as was Amanda. Both of them had become almost robotic in their servitude of Jeremy.
At this point Jeremy had moved in to Paul’s home. Paul was relegated to one room in this grand house he was paying for and wasn’t allowed to leave except for work and meals with the other two or when he was working on the nursery. During those meals he would be ignored which would make him crave Jeremy’s attention even more. But no matter what, he was always allowed in while Jeremy and Amanda were having sex so that Paul would learn that he no longer owned anything of his own. Jeremy had taken his wife, his home and this child. Jeremy was now totally living off of Paul and banking his own paychecks.
During the time Jeremy had taken over the house Amanda had gone to Paul and told him that they needed to make changes to his will and his power of attorney. He had already put both of them on his medical insurance and this was the next logical step. And even this didn’t wake up Paul, a very articulate, intelligent, successful man.
Then came the day that Jeremy called Paul at work and told him to go the tattoo shop that he had Amanda frequenting. Paul thought that he was going to get a tattoo with Jeremy’s name on it because that’s what they had discussed a few weeks earlier. Instead he was taken in to a room, his trousers and shorts pulled down and placed in a chair. Jeremy is there telling him what to do. Paul is in a trance-like state. Within ten minutes Paul had a Prince Albert piercing through his cock and was caged in a device that would not come off. Paul said it happened so fast he didn’t even have time to protest.
Now I’m pissed and I’m no longer willing to just let this carry on. I had no choice but to try to snap Paul out of the hypnotic state he was in. I told him that I thought he had Stockholm syndrome, that he had to wake up and see what was happening around him. We talked for quite a while and he seemed to come around but I had my doubts it would last.
Luckily after he hung up with me he started really thinking about how all of this had progressed. By now it’s about six months in to this pseudo-cuckold relationship and he realized this wasn’t going the way it should be. He decided to confide most but not all of what had happened to one of his lawyers who he was friendly with and thank god his friend also told him it wasn’t right.
He ended up throwing the two of them out giving Amanda a chance to stay of course but she was too far gone under Jeremy’s spell to realize what she was doing. He got another pair of bolt cutters and removed the piercing three days after it was done so he healed up pretty quick.
Since then Amanda has tried to come over and use her breasts to entice him back in to their three way freak show but Paul didn’t bite the bait. He has since had all of the legal issues straightened out and Paul has now signed off on the baby plus he gave Amanda a nice monetary settlement as part of their divorce.
Amanda has had her baby and is living with Jeremy but I don’t think it’ll be long before she’s out on her own. Logically what thirty something man is going to stay with a fifty something woman with a child.
Paul I can say I consider a friend and we stay in touch. He was very grateful for me essentially saving his life or at least his life savings. God knows what would have happened if he had let them stay but when life insurance is involved it wasn’t going to be pretty.
Although this sounds almost too crazy to be true I assure you it is and I even left out a few of the things that happened.
Cuckolding can work so well if everyone has their head on straight. This is a case that, although extreme, shows you just what can happen if you take your submission and your fantasies too far. It’s okay to be submissive and as I pointed out several times if this had been a more normal, stable relationship it could have worked really well but you can’t let your submission get in the way of your common sense.
Epilogue: Paul has found a local Domme who he visits and serves and is quite happy with his life now. He still sees Amanda occasionally and he took her flowers when she had the baby but he makes sure to keep her at a safe distance because he knows he’s weak around her.
oh wow. That is a powerful picture. Very hypnotic. Cuckolding produces these jealousy feelings at the same time. Hmmmm not sure i understand what is happening to me. Makes me want to let go even if its not quite right.
thank you for sharing Dr Sue. You are the best
I know most people will never understand the cuck mentality. I don’t feel like im being a wimp for enjoying another close male friend and my wife just enjoying sex . My wife satisfies me orally while she is being screwed.She refuses to do the whole penis humiliation thing to me and thats ok. She loves me and and im the one that stays here when he leaves.She told me I could bring another woman in on this for myself but I feel that would just lessen the experience of watching her get satisfied. Unless you have a tiny penis that cannot penetrate or even be hard enough to rub your wifes clit, you can’t even understand how frustrating it is not to be able to use your own penis on your wife. I feel that if I didn’t have a micro cock I would never have had the Thrill of seeing my wife take another mans big cock. I think if most men are honest about it they too would love to hear their wifes moan from being totally satisfied by a larger man then watch his cum drip out of your wifes honey pot! Come on guys! we talk about big tits on women and women talk about big cocks amongst themselves and fantasize of muscular endowed men giving them deep orgasms. Some women , not all would love to experience a bigger cock. Just look at the sizes of dildos . Most of them are much larger than average men. My wife has an I.U.D to prevent pregnancy with him. He also gets regular screenings for s.t.d.s. we all benefit from our sexual musings.
Actually I came here because I thought this was another Dr. Sue.
No one is “lurking” I just read the article out of curiosity. So …..No, it’s not on my “radar”. You are wrong about me.
And I made some very valid points Dr.
I think thou doth assume to much Dominatrix.
LOL and yet you’re still here…
Why cuckolding? when Paul with the money he has could get another woman to have fun with?
Men that are into cuckold are definitely extremely low in selfesteem…extremely low.
If my wife wants to fuck another man, then I’ll go: Sure, go ahead and have fun. While you do that,I will fuck other women.
And if for some reason I get a thrill of watching my wife get fucked by another man. Then after they are done I’ll go; ok now you watch me fuck another woman.
There has to be balance, well in my case I’ll always need to have the higher ground, but that is just me. I know my comment might be out of place specially on a site owned by a Dominatrix her point of view will always be biased in one way of another regardless of whatever justifications. But if Paul had come to me and he is into cuckolding I will go: Sure Paul if you want to see your wife being fucked by a so called “stud” or “bull” or whatever(sex objects that cant accomplish anything in their lives and the only thing they have going on is a big dick) you then go out and fuck other woman yourself so you dont end up being a pathetic man. It has to go both ways.
But some men will go: But what if I have a small penis that can’t please a woman? Then instead of wasting time crying about it go do some Penis enlarment exercises or try out some products, there are many ways to increase size. At the end of the road these men will be happier that they figured it out instead of accepting a sad fate and try to find happines in being a wimp. No matter what anyone says…..NO ONE can be happy by just staring at the cake or watch someone else eat it. No YOU take control of your life and eat ALL THE CAKE YOU WANT.
I always find it interesting how you boys who just can’t tolerate an alternative way of living are the ones lurking around on here reading up on cuckolding. If you disliked it to the degree you do, it wouldn’t even be on your radar. I think thou doth protest too much Mikey.
I am almost in the same thought process my self, I have been searching for the negatives in Cuckholding because I am definitely NOT into it and neither is my wife. That is what brought me to this article. I agree if you feel inadequate twd your mate do something about it.. if she isn’t ok with it, I’d be finding another mate because there are ALOT of women out there who dont mind a 6 inch cock. There are attachments, toys and other methods to increase your size if needed.. However that being said I don’t understand why it must be always a black guy as the alpha/bull/dominant in these situations. We have black friends but would never have sex with them especially in these type situations. Where we live in the mid eastern cost of the US. Most of the men who claim to be bulls all rely on their cocks to entice the women instead of maybe ya know, getting to know the couple first? They have these higher than thou attitudes too. I read posts on other media outlets seems more and more white men are being placed in chastity thinking everything is OK. But why are the women denying their husband ( some of many yrs) any sexual contact or even going as far as not even letting their husband’s out of cages for months some even been locked for a yr or more. To me it seems like the husband is just for show now to hold up with public consensus. Having the bulls baby only to create more and more of a mixed ethnicity too So many men seem to be so depressed in these situations and I can’t grasp why they would continue to allow this. To me there is a difference between degradation and abuse and most I have come across are on the borderline of the latter to me. I am to dominant in the bedroom to allow any man or woman degrade me, sissify or even cut out of a relationship. Yes my wife would like to try some sexual scenarios but in those we decide what is good and what is not. We are very much in love and love to be together in and out the bedroom. But to allow someone like Jeremy in? He been kicked to the door step before it even started. I don’t like when women are degraded and certainly dont like myself being degraded either. Forplay, toys, other kinks can be added into a relationship to satisfy a woman just the same as adding another man.
The racism is strong in this one. Mixed race babies! OMG WHAT WILL WE DO! DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER! THE HUMANITY! Don’t worry buddy, no one wants you or your wife so it’s all good. Go back to your cave and relax. Kick back and maybe, if you’re really lucky you might find a black hole to suck you back to 1950 where you’ll be happier.
As a man born with a micro penis and early on ed issues I could only give my wife oral and finger her. A few years ago I started buying porn star dildos for her to replicate their large penises in my wife. She went from smaller dildos to very large ones now. She eventually got very addicted to me giving her deep orgasms on her g spot and crazy o’s around her cervix. We often roleplayed other big men screwing her and I would whisper in her ear while she was in the throes of orgasming how I would love to watch another guy with a huge penis satisfy her. And then one night she promised to screw our mutual male friend. I remember the first time I saw his cock pump my wife. It was so surreal and sexy to watch . The raw sexual energy I saw when his big mushroom head cock penetrated my wife and made her moan so loud was so exciting. It was very liberating to me to accept the fact that although I can never please her like he can because of my physical limitations I get to enjoy the best porn up close of my beautiful wife with another guy screwing her in our own bed, so hot!!
It is so very hard to find any written material negative about the Cuckold movement. The fictionalized stories paint a ungodly tales about human degradation and control, many rivle POW stories in cruelty. Thank you for writing this. I wonder how many violent acts cuckolding causes, when the cuck says NO MORE. The Bull and wife say yes there will be more. I can not understand how a man such as you describe obviously intelligent can come so very close to losing everything including himself. Perhaps if one is going into the cuckolding a Lawyer and an accountant needs to be brought into the arrangement to put barriers that the bull and wife cant get around. Is the chastity considered sexual assault if the man does not want this?