Irony; the use of words to convey a meaning that is opposite of its literal meaning, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
A dominatrix walks in to a bar. No actually a dominatrix goes to Las Vegas to take advantage of the AVN Awards/Expo and subsequently the influx of horny men to do some sessions, which is a savvy business move. The same dominatrix then spends an inordinate amount of time on social media telling her ‘potential clients’ that if they attended or have anything to do with the aforementioned AVN Awards/Expo not to bring, well, their disgusting selves to her door. That does leave one scratching one’s head, doesn’t it Mr. Rufie, I mean Cosby?
Let’s get this straight for anyone out there who thinks they are better than anyone else period, but since we’re only dealing with this one issue for today we’ll narrow it down to the sex industry, if you think that you out rank someone based on what they do in this industry you’re a complete idiot.
This story of the judgmental domme brings to mind a time a few years ago when I was asked this fart in the wind question and I thought the entire subject had died a very foolish death but alas, who was I kidding? The question in question is, “Are dominatrixes sex workers?”
I sigh a lot these days. But this subject is yet another sigh worthy non-issue issue.
So in answer to the question, “Are dominatrixes sex workers?” Fuck yes.
Let’s make this crystal clear here:
If your purpose either for a living, as a side-line business, or as a hobby is to facilitate the sexual arousal of another human being AND you get money for that service…
…you ARE a sex worker!
Where’s Maury when I need him.
It doesn’t matter what you do for that money. Street hooker, stripper, dominatrix, porn actor/actress, escort, erotic massage therapist, erotic hypnotist, erotic writer, sex therapist, fetish model, erotic photographer, amateur clip producer, financial dominatrix, sex shop owner and any other obscure sexual service, if you receive money for what you do you are a sex worker. End of.
If the next argument that shoots through your mind is, “well I don’t have sex with my clients so I’m not a sex worker,” nice try. You do not have to have actual penetrative sex to be a sex worker and you need to re-read this over and over until it sinks in; “If your purpose either for a living, as a side-line business, or as a hobby is to facilitate the sexual arousal of another human being AND you get money for that service you ARE a sex worker.”
So now that we have that cleared up the idea that our uppity bitch domme thinks she is in any way above ANYONE participating in or having anything to do with the AVN weekend becomes even more ridiculous. But more so it shows shame in her game. Honey if you can’t say you’re a sex worker then you are in the wrong business and don’t think for one minute your social media behavior is in any way dominant because, it’s not.
Look, whether you like it or not we are all sex workers and as such, should be supporting one another not tearing each other down, trying to one-up each other or divide ourselves in to smaller groups with some fucked up hierarchy (except in D & s, I know don’t knit pick). And as I just said, if being a ‘sex worker’ leaves a bad taste in your mouth you need to re-think your decision to do whatever it is you happen to do.
We’re SUPPOSED to be the ones with the open minds, yet this community opted to use social media to launch a vicious attack on an adult film star to where she felt the need to kill herself over defending her right to choose who she filmed and thereby shared her body with.
Come on you guys we should be the ambassadors of how ‘it’s’ done. Show everyone how the sex industry supports each person in the industry regardless of what they do. I hate labels but society is always hell bent on using them so wear ‘sex worker’ with pride. I do. I’ve never been ashamed of what I do/did regardless of what it was. My tiny family knows what I do and supports it. My extended family judged me but I don’t associate with them so I don’t care what they think. Fuck you Tracee! They barely know me so judge away. Hell when I had my sex shop my 75 year old mother worked there. That sometimes freaked the customers out but that was half the fun.
Not one of you is better than the next, whether you have sex with your clients or not. So the long and the short of this deeply stupid issue is, GET OVER YOURSELVES. If you’ve sucked back so much of your own ego inflating PR Kool Aid that you think you out rank anyone, you need to sit the fuck down, shake you’re damn head and get a colonic because you’re so full of shit you need to be Roto Rooter-ed.
I’m all for confidence and pumping yourself up, we ALL need that. But when you over inflate yourself to the point of looking at anything else as garbage, you need to let some of the air out of your head. And I understand that when guys are telling you you’re amazing all day long it can go to your head. It can. This is why you need someone in your life to give you that smack in the face to remind you that you shit the same as everyone else and girl, yes it stinks.
Here let’s go all zen and think of it this way; if it breathes, it is not only viable but is also purpose driven the same as you and deserves respect until proven otherwise.
Translated; If you don’t have something nice to say, STFU.
Read your article, disagree on many points. Agree with the point of most sex work being for the arousal of individuals.. but its not just men, that’s not quite right. I do see more factors that come into play regarding the line of work someone is experiencing or creating in their lives. If an individual goes to a sperm bank to give his load away, most need arousal to reach the point. Does that mean the nurses working within that space are sex workers for passing him a magazine and showing him where the door is? Collecting a sperms cup and putting it into the vault ?
Are the persons visiting aroused by nurses? Do you know the answer for the arousal of everyone individually?
If a Dominatrix has clients/customers who are Eunuch’s (male human beings) (with their penis chopped off for understanding of how to live without arousal ) is it sex work to have your home cleaned or feet massaged by someone wishing to be of service to women, whom they see as having a harder job on the planet, does this determine sex work?
If a Domina hosts virtual talking therapies with individuals suffering with traumas relating to connectivity, is this a form of sex work if sex is never spoken about or acted upon in any way shape or form?
There are plenty types of dominatrix people in this current era and they don’t all put on a sexy outfit, they don’t all allow arousal or sexual pleasure.
In my experience, I’m personally aware of different types of sex workers, through filming and creativity. Even knowing how some of those lives are conducted, and I would have to disagree with the article on a whole because it’s biased.
Also! A last point. Some dominatrix are choosing this line of work for their own individual understanding, growth and comfortability In many areas of their lives. You never know if a woman is healing from sexual trauma and finds comfort in uplifting people around them. The same wouldn’t always be felt if a circle wasn’t created for these types of social connectivity.
People need people sometimes and it isn’t always for sex ?.
The same feelings could be felt if an article was written explaining that all cleaners were slaves!
Your last sentence is a bit much.
TL;DR. You’re first point was stupid. I’m going to go waaaaaaaaay out on a limb here to say why. You (yes you Top) goes over to a friend’s house. While there, you friend decides to do “the shameful handshake” in his bedroom with the door closed. But, he forgot his “periodical courage” and so, he ask you (yes, you Top) to give him his Playboy, Hustler, Barely Legal etc…while you’re watching TV, doing a crossword puzzle, jig saw puzzle, etc. While he’s “doing his thing” it gets late, you both loose track of time. You (yes you, Top) don’t have access to a car, the public transit stops running, no Uber on sight and you (again, yes you, Top) are forced to get a cab. Plus, you’re broke on “top” ? of it. Your friend hands you a $20 to get you a cab (hopefully after he has thoroughly washed his hands). I guess that now means that you (finally yes, you, Top) ARE A SEX WORKER TOO. (So much for your sperm donor theory.) ?
By your standard then I guess Julia Quinn and Shonda Rhimes are sex workers bc Bridgerton…!!! LMAO. Doms don’t do their job to arouse people. Have been reading Fifty shades of crap! Guess that makes EL James a Sex worker too!
Do you have any intelligence at all? You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.
Sounds like internalized stigma against calling yourself a sex worker to Me. Probably caused by the mass amounts of whorephobia in the world, but that doesn’t mean you should blindly buy into the propaganda. Especially when you’re a sex worker yourself.
You’re point would only apply if those reading the Brigerton Books were actually jacking off while reading. There’s no way to know if the millions of people reading the books are jacking off to said books. Now, if you are purposely writing erotica because you know for a fact that someone is going to use what you wrote to get off then, (like the song says) “Whoomp there it is.”. I had that opportunity once to write erotica and get paid for it, but I never took the opportunity to do so. And yet, I understood the fact that if I did, that is what I would be. Same with a manwha that I am reading called “Painter of the Night”. In it, a kid becomes a sex worker painting erotic for a nobleman who uses his paintings to get off. It’s an interesting read. Check it out if you can.
Straight up – I do not have the balls nor skill to do what a lot of ‘vanilla’ sex workers do. I can’t dance to save My sexy ass, regardless of who would want to see Me strip. I think sex with strangers is icky (srs) so I’m not up for porn or prostitution. That shit takes WORK and DEDICATION and SKILLS, and I am PROUD do be counted amongst those people who have them!