Ask Dr Sue – Blackmail for Good – Does it Work?

N writes:

“We usually see blackmail being used for money. The “victim” is giving info to the blackmailer and if they don’t provide the demanded amount, they threaten to leak the info or expose them to certain individuals. What about being blackmailed for a “good” reason? Well, if we get down to it, being blackmailed as a kink is supposed to be good because both parties enjoy it, more or less.

In this instance, by good, I mean the result being something that the victim desires, but has trouble doing it themselves. Could be something about their health. Losing weight, gaining weight, exercising, stop smoking etc. Or how about expressing their feelings/desires for something. I have  the following problem. I have a desire of being a slave/cuckold (metaphorically cuckold since we’re not in a relationship) to a domme friend of mine. Even though she knows I have a submissive side, she never experienced it since I’m not that kind of person irl. I know what kind of person she is, what she likes, what she does, and I’m positive that she would be ecstatic about using me.

I can’t be completely honest with her because my pride and ego get in the way. You know how these things are. You don’t want it because it’s humiliating, but at the same time it’s the reason why you want it. A vicious circle.

I know a person that’s into blackmail and I’m thinking of proposing something like this  to them. Of course it would include  things we both like, not just doing it for me. Leaving it up to them if they’re going to talk to her about it. It’s making me tremble just thinking about it. Both in a good and in a bad way, lol.

Did you ever experience something similar?”

Brilliant question N. And the answer is a resounding YES! You can use blackmail and domination in general to bring about behavioral change.

I’ll give you an example of something I did with a client who wanted out of the army. He was back from being deployed and was sick of the whole experience and asked me if I could help him get so fat that the army would kick him out.

Now this isn’t something I like doing because it’s not a positive behavioral change but I could see his point and so we worked together using his submission against him if you will. I gave him a caloric intake amount every day that he had to achieve. He had to send me pictures of his scale to prove his weight gain and pictures of the food he was eating.

I had him eating as many carbs as was possible. Not necessarily just sweets and garbage food as one might think. Potatoes, pasta, and bread were all part of his body makeover. And in a few months, less time than you would think, he was so overweight he got a medical discharge I believe it was but I’m not in the military so I can’t say.

That’s just one way I’ve worked with men. Some men such as yourself who can’t find the courage to follow through with just about anything, doesn’t have to be telling someone something, can benefit by being dominated or blackmailed in the opposite direction.

I’ve worked with many subs on their finances this way. I’ve had at least ten that I have helped get out of debt which works in the Domme’s favor because the more they aren’t throwing on a credit card, the more they can throw at you.

Chastity works for things like as well. Chastity works to laser target your mind using cognitive behavioral therapy. In the other cases, the Domme is the CBT (not cock and ball torture).

Whatever you want to accomplish, using your own behavioral tendencies can work brilliantly to bring about the change you desire. So for the submissive man, we use your submission against you in a positive way.

In your case N, you just need a little push I don’t think it would require blackmail but what you could do is this, if you don’t tell her the Domme will via email and that will make you look like a loser in your friend’s eyes. Or if you don’t tell her you owe a monetary amount. Money is a great motivator but you have to be willing to follow through on that and make it a painful amount. If it’s just $100 you aren’t likely to be scared into doing what you want.

Let us know if you follow through!

** If you have a question you’d like to ask me, I’m happy to answer it right here on The Review in my Ask Dr Sue/AMA segment. Simply email your question HERE.