Can I Be Replaced by a Dildo

A married husband of 12 years emailed me recently with an issue he found himself facing. In order to spice up their bedroom play they started to play with toys. They began with the basics, light bondage, vibrators and a blindfold and as he stated, they were having a “blast,” the toys adding to their sex life in a fun, positive way.

They were out at their local sex shop checking out some new toy ideas when his wife spotted a large, black, dildo commenting on how large and lifelike it looked. She said she was curious about the black cock mystique and if in fact, bigger was better. But they never purchased the dildo.

This gentleman contacted me because he feared being replaced by the dildo, which is a much more common line of thinking than you would imagine. When I had my sex shop I was asked that on a weekly basis. Some men would even forbid their wives from getting anything phallic shaped. “You can have the sparkly one with the flowers on it,” is what you’d hear from the boys who were clearly intimidated by the larger and more realistic dildos.

So can you be replaced by a dildo? It’s not likely. Not unless you have a 3” penis or have absolutely no real interest in sex.

You have to remember that no hunk of latex or silicone will replace the feel of the human penis. It just doesn’t compare. However, we do have to take in to consideration that if the husband is on the small side she may prefer, from time-to-time, to feel a larger phallus open her up and penetrate her more deeply.

I encouraged him to have a conversation about his fears with his wife in order to assure him that he is in fact, irreplaceable, and that’s what he did.

She told him exactly what I said, that if she didn’t like his penis she wouldn’t have married him. As they talked she expressed that she wanted to explore new fantasies and ideas beyond what they had done so far. She encouraged him to tell her what he fantasized about and then told him that hers primarily revolved around black men.

So after they had their talk and he was feeling more secure they went to the sex shop and bought the dildo she had her eye on last time which was 9” with a 6 ½” girth, her husband being 6.5” which isn’t that bad of a size.

Well with a little bit of work and a lot of lube they got the ‘big boy’ in and she loved it. He was shocked at how differently she reacted physically to it. She was louder and more ‘animalistic,’ as he described it. It was also the first time she had ever squirted and she did so three times that night.

Now although he’s still unsure about how he feels about the dildo. He’s willing to keep playing with it because she enjoys it so much. Plus she said having sex with him after he uses the dildo on her is even better than without it. Does that mean they use it every time they have sex? No of course not, but the dildo now adds another fun thing to pull out of your sex bag of tricks to keep things fresh and fun.

This sort of segues in to another email I received from a lovely lady who had been feeling horrible that she couldn’t orgasm through vaginal sex. But just how does this mesh with the dildo story?

Well first of all over 80% of women are unable to have an orgasm through vaginal penetration only so she is in good company. The problem is most of these men leave women thinking there is something wrong with them when in-fact, the real reason lies with the male.

The clitoris you see is actually a minute portion of the entire organ. The clitoris actually wraps around the vagina, you just can’t see it. But it takes a much girth-ier male to stimulate that and/or the g-spot during penetration. When you add in the fact that the average white male is only 5.5” to 6.5” in length and not that girth-y, it’s not surprising that most women don’t achieve a vaginal orgasm.

This is the exact reason why the gentleman with the dildo phobia experienced his wife having multiple orgasms along with squirting when he used the very girth-y appliance on her.

Dildo’s are NEVER going to replace a real penis but they serve a purpose and in the end, isn’t pleasing our partner in bed what we all want? So stop worrying about your dick being replaced by a chunk of rubber because we ladies will always take real over fake any day.