When domination is done right it should be about building relationships. But just like any other relationship sometimes they run their course. Maybe it’s because you grow in different directions. Maybe it’s because you want to take a break from your BDSM activities. Whatever your reason it’s important to remember that both sides have feelings involved. And in many cases those feelings can be one-sided.
You know gentlemen in a perfect world you could just press a button and eject from any of your unwanted relationships but in our reality it requires you to grow a pair. Irony. Yes you weak, pathetic, testicularly challenged, Y chromosomes will have to pull up your big boy pants because unlike the relationship you have with your wife – you know the one where you would rather chew your own gutless arm off than kick to the curb but complain about all day, every day – this relationship should have actually meant something to you. But fuck, do you alleged submissive males ever treat your Mistresses like the shit on the bottom of your shoe when it comes to break-ups.
All Dommes deal with this on a daily basis, the disrespect of the sub of convenience. Good and true subs are as rare as good and true alpha males. Most of you straddle that fence between your societal male programming and your true submissive nature. In the end all that does is make you a huge douche because you can’t commit to either one.
So all day, every day, we get boys just like you, who are always looking for the next best thing. You are the ones who instantly profess to want to serve us but don’t have a clue who we are, what we specialize in or whether we are even taking subs, then when properly probed we come to find out you’re already serving one to three and sometimes more, other Queens. You are the ones who hang up without properly saying, ‘good bye.’ And you are the ones who ghost us because you don’t have the balls to say you don’t want to do this anymore. You boys are no more submissive than you are alpha. You are the true Omega males. Useless.
But for those of you true and loyal subs who have been with one Mistress who, for whatever reason, can no longer serve but are afraid to confront your Mistress about your departure there is a right way and a wrong way. The wrong way I believe I just made abundantly clear. Never ghost someone. It makes that person feel as though they are nothing, they don’t exist because you chose not to write a simple email or make a personal call. And that’s true of anyone, not just in the sex industry. Remember, you’re the one who wants to feel like a piece of shit, not us.
And you know me with my caveats. There’s always a caveat. And today’s caveat is… how you break up depends on how rational your Mistress is.
So if your Mistress is a rational, well-trained, well-adjusted female she knows that this is business and as with any business clients come and they go and usually they come back again. But the reality we all live in is life gets in the way sometimes.
With a rational Mistress you simply write her a letter explaining your situation. Now I’m going with the letter writing first because most of you have balls the size of atoms and won’t be able to find them to make a call. BUT if you are truly a good sub who has appreciated the time and training you received from your Mistress, then you will pick up a phone and talk to her about what’s happening and why you have to leave. But the majority of you will have no marbles to make a call so I want you to write a letter [email]. I say letter because I want you to think of it as something more than just an email. This isn’t going to be correspondence with a subject line of ‘HEY’.
You will be writing your email as follows:
SUBJECT: With deepest regrets
Then your message should have the following elements in this order:
- Your Situation
- Buy-out information if any
No I’m not going to write it for you because this has to come from the heart. This has to be like you are having that phone conversation with her. If you do this properly, you are assured of the door being open when things in your life change and you are able to return in the future if the opportunity presents itself.
BUT if your Mistress is an irrational, psychotic, untrained, psychopath with daddy abandonment issues well unfortunately you’ll have to guillotine a bitch. However you always go through the same steps I just outlined. Write your letter of appreciation and termination and handle any buy-out clauses you may have agreed to in the beginning, just like the good boys with sane Mistresses do.
Unfortunately in your case the chances of a clean get-away are slim to none. Now if you were smart from the beginning, you used throw away emails that aren’t associated with your ‘real life’ so you can delete the email you used with her. Because if she starts foaming at the mouth like she’s just eaten a Mentos and downed a Diet Coke you will have no choice but to guillotine or cut all ties with her. And when I say cut I mean cut. Not tapering down. Not occasionally answering her demands. NOTHING. The only way to deal with these types of personalities is to cut them off at the knees. You sent your letter, you were polite, you were appreciative and you were abiding by any contract you may have had together. If she decides to hop on the crazy train at this point, that’s not on you.
You have to wipe out all means of communication with her. Delete emails, social media accts, phone sex accounts, whatever you had to communicate, even if you have to get a new cell number. Again, smart guys have burner phones when they live double lives but I doubt most of you have done that. Delete any credit cards she may have access to – the same with any bank accounts. Basically anything that is tied to this woman has to be extinguished.
If during your time together you have given her personal information, you’ll have to deal with the consequences of giving out your personal information to someone you don’t know and now realize is a whack job. Most women don’t bother doing anything with your information but some do. And some can be very, very vicious. Many of these women have no qualms about annihilating your marriage, your job or your credit if they’re pissed. And although that’s probably why you went to her in the first place, real life sucks when your identity has been stolen and your credit cards run up and your 401K has been drained all because you had the audacity to be a real human being not just an atm.
To you gentlemen I say… god speed. May your suffering be swift but this is what you asked for. This is what you put your money down on the table to experience so don’t whine when it actually happens.
You know I was going to say that most Dommes are rational for the most part but I really got to thinking and I can’t say that with good conscience any more. Unfortunately, there is a huge number of women who don’t have a clue what BDSM really is nor do they conduct themselves by any personal code of conduct, ethics or morality. I hear horror stories every week about men trapped in situations they cannot seem to get out of with women who clearly have a myriad of psychological issues. It’s a shame but it’s the nature of the business.
So I think what I’ll do is send you off with yet another caveat, only this one more fitting to the subject matter.
Caveat emptor, gentlemen, caveat emptor.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments below.