Many of the men I talk to tell me that they are no longer having sex with their wives. In some cases women have shut down for over a decade or more. That makes me sad. Here they are in this perfectly viable relationship and she has closed up shop. But why? Why do so many women reach a point in their relationships where they seem to take their sexuality, pack it in a box and then put the box on a shelf in the back of the closet?
Well there are a myriad of reasons but what I’ve noticed from the couples I’ve counselled it primarily comes down to her not being sexually satisfied and rather than bring it up and discuss it, she simply shuts down.
Because I’ve worked with so many couples who live the cuckold lifestyle I’ve been able to really find out what causes this shut down. And quite honestly it really is the fact that either the male is too small or just doesn’t know how to please her in bed. So rather than call it quits on a perfectly good relationship these women call it quits on their sex lives. They sacrifice their own sexual satisfaction for the sake of having a good friend, great husband and/or father and provider for the family. And really when you look at it that way it makes sense. You can see the thought process in that. “Ok, so he sucks in the sack, I’m not about to break up over that.” And what they do is, just like most humans, rather than confront the situation which could possibly cause their partner pain; they slowly start to shut down.
Women aren’t as invested in sex as men are. It’s not that we don’t love it, we do. But because we are the care givers and nurturers we learn from a young age to put ourselves last for the greater good and that’s exactly what goes on in the breakdown of sex lives.
The pattern is usually the same for men with small to average penises and/or men who suck at sex. You start dating and everything is hot. You’re having sex sometimes two or three times a day. Then you get married and it slows to a couple of times a week. NOT because she wants it to be that way, but because the responsibility load is greater. There’s career, kid and family obligations up the wazoo. And by the time you find the time to fuck, you’re too tired. Then the sex starts to slow to a couple of times a month. Then every couple of months until it dwindles down to nothing.
So when a man comes to me and says, “Whaaa my wife won’t fuck me anymore,” I ask him, “What did you do to kill her?”
Now some of you might think that’s harsh but truth usually is. Because the fact is, if she was really in to the size of your dick and how you fuck, she would make the time for it. If fucking has become a chore that she easily gives up, that’s on you.
How do I know this? Because of watching these same women, women who have shelved their own sexuality, come to life again with the right dick.
Now before you freak out and say sex isn’t everything in a marriage. I agree with you BUT you still have to take this in to consideration if the sex was ‘ok’ at the beginning. Why did it stop?
Of course as I stated earlier, there can be a myriad of reasons why couples shelve their sex lives. There can be medical issues on both parts, there can be a lack of connection as partners but many times when we really drill down it’s because the wife was NEVER that in to sex with her husband in the first place. And in those cases when something different and new is introduced it breathes new life back in to the wife. But that takes men wanting to do the work to keep the sex interesting and not many men want to, either due to fear of their wives thinking anything new will cause them to freak out or it’s all just too much work. It becomes easier for them to just throw on some porn and jerk off. And in almost all cases, NOTHING is ever said, mentioned or brought up between them. Everyone goes on their merry way living life in complete blissful denial.
And no I’m not saying that every couple with a shitty sex life needs to cuckold but you DO need to change up the routine. You need to be honest with one another. Your wife needs to be able to tell you the EXACT reasons why she’s not in to it anymore. And YOU need to LISTEN – even if it hurts. Then you both need to decide to make the necessary changes.
Here are some suggestions:
- SEX TOYS – if your dick is too small for her, go to the sex shop TOGETHER and get a dildo that is more suited to her size preference. Buy two and keep one in the car for spontaneous play outside of the house.
- Get some remote controlled sex toys, one for each of you so you can play randomly throughout the day if you’re both working. You never know when you’ll get a charge from your partner.
- CHANGE OF PLACE – If you’re always having sex in the bedroom, try peeking your head out and picking a new room. Even better, find new places to have sex away from your home like the car, public bathrooms or secluded parks. (Just don’t get caught)
- ROLE PLAY – Role plays can be great fun! You can pick from a range of scenarios the obvious ones being cop/prisoner, teacher/naughty school kid, super hero/villain. Anything that gets you being creative with one another. This is also a great way to switch common roles. Let her be in charge, you boys know that’s what you want anyway. This is a great way to let her test the waters without it being weird and scary.
- LIFESTYLE – If you’re feeling adventurous and you think your relationship is strong enough try experimenting with different lifestyles such as cuckold, hot wife/voyeur or swinging.
So instead of whining that your wife is no longer having sex with you and calling her a frigid bitch maybe you need to do a relationship check-up to see where you killed her. When did you murder your wife’s sex drive? Cause a woman who loves her man’s dick, doesn’t put it in a box on the shelf. So if you’re in the back of the closet in that box along with her sex drive you need to find out why. Time to man-up gentlemen, find out the truth and actually talk to the woman you, at one time, found hot enough to marry and maybe breathe life back in to her forgotten sex drive.