I think one of the worst things that can happen to a submissive male is being forced to grow up alpha. Unfortunately for most of us in just about any society men are raised to be the alpha providers and women are raised to be the submissive caregivers. This makes it very difficult for true submissive males to allow themselves to express their submissive nature. Subsequently we end up with men who should be following their true calling of being submissive but instead are trying to be something they aren’t or can’t be.
From a dominant female point of view, there is nothing worse than a submissive male trying to be alpha. Generally speaking most of you subs tend to be on the small side when it comes to penis size. Which is fine but don’t walk around thinking you’re bigger than you are. Eventually you’ll have to drop your pants and at that point its game over.
You’ll find that if you just learn to accept who you are and that you can’t possibly please a woman by waving a small penis at her, you’d be a much happier person. There’s nothing wrong with being a small, submissive male. I can assure you that there are many more submissive males than there are alpha males. Dominant women don’t want to spend their time with an alpha male. They’re good for a fuck but if we remain in the same room with an alpha male for any extended length of time, it could get ugly. Why do you think Dommes spend all their time with submissive males? Why do cuckold relationships work as well as they do? It’s because we WANT to spend our time with you not the alpha.
Those little voices in your head that are constantly whispering in your ear, ‘be a man!’ ‘take control,’ ‘what you’re doing is ridiculous!’ are all lying to you. It’s coming from that misplaced alpha programming you got as a kid. You’ll also tend to hear them right after you ejaculate due to a testosterone rush but if you give it 20 minutes or so they go away. You can be alpha all day long in your job if you need to, but stop denying who you really are when you go home.
Try not to walk around with a Napoleon complex thinking you have to prove yourself, it only makes you look ridiculous and in many cases it gets you in to trouble. Worker bees are far more useful than drones when it comes to serving their Queen. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to be who you really are deep inside. Stop trying to be what society wants you to be. Hell with the state of the world as it is, it’s not like society is getting much right these days anyway and if we all could learn to just be who we are and stop trying to please the masses, this world would be a much happier, peaceful place.
Andy
I have been submissive for my entire life, I have a very small penis and small testicals. I am married but haven’t really had any sex, once my new wife saw what I was born with she didn’t want any thing to do with my size. We loved each other but sex wasn’t part of our marriage. Our family did have three kids none were mine, but my wife and boy friends supplied the kids. None of the kidshower are from the same father. Two of the fathers are helping support there Kids! Some call her names that are inappropriate, but I will always love my wife and the kids that are in my house.
Me personally I don’t embarrass very easily and just accept me, I can’t change. I wish our kids were really ours but it is what it is.
Wolf
Like in a male dom they please female to but your telling me that in a female domination the man can’t use his penis because it’s small that sounds wrong in so many ways the penis if at least 3 to four inches can hit g spot and feel good being a vers I like both but keeping men from using their penis is cruel and enforces bad mindsets during sex being submissive can be fine to an extent but denying man or women the satisfaction is messed up
stan
For me there is nothing courageous, admirable, or noteworthy about being a male submissive. By definition to be submissive is to yield out of weakness to the strength and power of the other. There is nothing noble in this. One is always less than. Rightfully so, our society places great value on the alpha male. It is he who is assigned the immense responsibility of defending the wall. It is he whose seed the women of the society seek. He is the one given rank and privilege. We submissive males occupy the lowest rung of the D/s social stratum. Lacking physical stature, physical strength, and all important massive cock we are dismissed by the dominant females as sexually insignificant. We become objects of ridicule for the Dominant Men and Women and even the submissive female. We are advised to embrace and glory in our beta status because it is all of which we are worthy. Dominant men despise us. Dominant women ridicule us. Submissive females ignore us. We are the submissive males of the world.
Stacey
Awesome discussion, I think what is obvious here is this is a gateway through which males can gain truth about themselves in a profound way. I agree with this completely, what I think is missing here is that not only is the human male and female for that matter amorphous, but so we are as spiritual beings. Hence the reason why a women without the assigned male parts can strap on a 10″ cock and be as dominant as any man in the room, and this is coming from a naturally based and conditioned feminine perspective…So it is because a male chooses to be submissive through external conditioning as well as some predisposition with regard to gay males that they manifest these roles. I find it quite easy to switch from my Sub side to my Alpha side depending on the stimulus around me. To say that men with smaller than average cock size has anything to do with anyone’s sub or dom characteristics is flawed in my opinion simply because sexuality is like the nature of human beings itself and is extremely expansive…and to characterize a male as Dom because of an appendage, or because he doesn’t have any manners is a bit backwards. I’ve been around guys with bigger cocks than mine, and I’m 100 times the man, in confidence, looks, style, intellect and growth in general. to me it’s analogous to saying that women who are small breasted are not as feminine…It’s an argument that is spurious and appendage’s (regardless of external conditioning) don’t meanshit if you know who you are.
crystal
I think that it is part of evolution, men with small penis are submissive for a reason they are there to help the woman for her alpha males, they are there to raise the children, and they are there to do the traditional house work and become the wife in the relationship. Evolution has made the woman now a days to be equal to alpha males in everything, so to fill the void the submissive left behind the submissive male with the small penis is there to fill it and society should start to recognize that!
geor
What you’ve said is good. I’d love to have a relationship where I was put in place as the housewife.
Pat
Not another evolution argument from someone who doesn’t understand evolution…(insert eye roll here)…
Your theory has some holes in it. You’re assuming that the mechanism that drives evolution is “survival of the species.” So nature has put small endowed males on earth for a reason – to help women raise their children which have been sired by superior males, ensuring that the species carries on, as strong as can be. (Cue the gong now. You lose.)
Nature doesn’t give a shit about the species – any species. 99% of all species that have ever existed have gone extinct, and not due to human activity. So Mother Nature must have really screwed up there. No – it is genes that perpetuate, not species. Richard Dawkins calls our bodies “survival machines” which have been built by our genes – vehicles to transport the genes – to ensure the perpetuation of the GENES. Vehicles which prove to be most effective in this respect carry on as they transmit more of their genes.
Now, being that only 15% of men in the world have a penis that’s 7 inches erect (and the percentages gets smaller as you scale up), the average man’s penis must be considered small. So if nature’s plan was to have the big-dick alpha male sire all the children, why are there so many men running around with smaller dicks than their fathers? Why wasn’t the big dick gene passed down to the average man?
I don’t have the answers but it is your theory so maybe you can shed some light on it.
Rodat
Care to explain why I’m a submissive and have an 8′ cock? I’d really like to know. I absolutely fucking hate it.
Dr Sue
I’m sorry to hear that Rodat. It happens to guys with big dicks too. Something must have happened during your adolescence to tip the scales in favour of submission. Most of the men that I’ve counselled eventually learn to accept and embrace it. The problem is the more you hate it the bigger it’ll get. There is no cure for this. It is part of who you are.
Pat
“The more you hate it the bigger it’ll get.”
That could be misinterpreted Dr Sue 😉
Dr Sue
Good point Pat!
Device
So you can serve/pleasure women with it. Boom.
SirBeast1269
To me it’s plain and simply just as Feminism has done for many women is to show them their power not including what certain women did to set back that movement – many males need something like that to show the true power they also possess. But also understand this what ever happens there’s always a power dynamic in play and it’s up to both sexes to truly decide what makes them happy not just surviving but truly happy since being in a “positive” state of being brings forth better emotional, mental and physical health, but many can not bring themselves to examine that which is within because many feel that to do so will show that they are lacking something that society says they should have within themselves. That’s my opinion anyway.
bloodhound
Human alphaness is not defined by the penis size, it is defined by confidence.Different men have different confidence levels when approaching different things.
For instance, in a swimming competition a white guy might win, in a sprint a black might win and on a chess board an Indian might win.Winning boosts confidence and confidence woo women.I have seen many subtle and effeminate men rise up like lions when loud alphas sweat.So all in all,you have penned an amorphous article giving very little thought to human nature and situations.
Dr Sue
And you are absolutely right bloodhound. When I discuss this you’ll notice I say ‘for the most part’. I’m speaking in generalities. After working with literally 100’s of submissive men it has been my personal observation that submissiveness and small penis’s go hand-in-hand. Are there exceptions to that rule, OF COURSE. I’ve talked to men with 10″ penis’s who are submissive and think their penis is small. That’s more of a type of body dysmorphic disorder but nothing is a hard and fast law. Human alphaness is also not defined only by confidence. Yes women are attracted to very confident men but you’ll find that’s a basal procreation reaction, she’s looking for the right male to produce offspring. There are many smaller males who are alpha. And of course the article is amorphous, human nature is as well. Nothing in human nature fits in to nice neat little boxes. That’s what makes us all unique and wonderful.
Bob
I think you have it the other way around. Everybody has a spectrum of dominance to submissiveness. All people are not born equal. However, I think being able to fulfill a role and perform to that role is par for the course for mental satisfaction. I could never live with myself if I simply accepted a cuckold role just to masturbate; and I’m not even sure that I would find a willing partner to humor me anyways (most of these relationships start via rich married men). Submission (or quitting, being dominated) makes things easier, not better. It allows the easy cum, not the rewarding feeling of love. I’ve experienced both sides of the spectrum, and the true rewards don’t come from settling on masturbation. It’s harder for some people, especially those born with legitimately small penises, but earning those feelings (however rare) makes life livable.
Your armchair view of evolutionary psychology simply begets your business interest and personal gullibility, in my opinion. Nobody thinks what they’re doing is evil; and I’m sure you don’t either, but what you’re telling men is that they’re born into second class citizenship and should simply forget about the great things in life in order to settle on stimulation. The truth is that men were told to go against their basic natures, were told to be sensitive, they were then trampled on and looked for substitutes either in defending their confusing behavior or demoting themselves as worthy competitors.
If you *cared* about men with small penises (outside of their wallets) then you would be encouraging them to keep trying everything they can. Instead you want men to *settle* because in this new alpha-beta cuckold worldview you could theoretically extract all the value from certain men without giving up anything in return by simply eroticizing failure. Your definition of freedom is the freedom of willingly giving yourself into slavery.
anon
Just one thing.
All people feel the need for power. If you don’t then you’re malfunctioning. If you’re submissive, stop being so. Stand up for yourself. You don’t live among lions, physically you just have to be visible. You have your brain. And mouth. Use them.
I don’t know why i say this here. I just couldn’t take this deprecating stuff.
Dr Sue
Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I thank you for yours, honestly. It invokes discussion. What you’re missing in this is the fact that submissives do feel power. The power to be who they want to be and enjoy life.
Dr Sue
Thank you! I’ll look in to it and see what the problem is.
Dr Sue
I just checked using Opera and it’s perfect. Not sure what issues you’re having perhaps make sure you have the latest version but I’m not having any visual issues at all.