Financial Domination comes from a deep need for a loss of control. Financial Domination can be played in a myriad of ways but the main idea is a dominant woman seductively or harshly manipulating money from a submissive male.
For the submissive the idea of having a woman take money from him or manipulate him into a state of wanting to give money to her is incredibly erotic. In some cases the submissive male even dreams of complete financial ruination. This is extreme but has been done by many femme dommes in the past. Usually Financial Domination just involves the taking or giving of money either on a scheduled basis, through coercion or blackmail, or just out of an intense need to give.
Now for those of you who are reading this thinking, ‘you’d have to be nuts to get off on that,’ let me remind you that everyone has their own erotic fantasies however if you’ve ever taken a woman on a date, you’ve been financially dominated. If you’ve ever been screwed over in a divorce, you’ve been financially dominated. So don’t be too quick to judge. For some it’s painful, for others it’s very hot.
This is another fetish that has an underlying current of humiliation as well, but again it depends on the individual. To hear a woman laughing and telling you what a sucker you are can be very arousing.
Financial Domination can be done by phone, mail, live sessions or just about any way that’s imaginable. Being a Sugar Daddy is a more controlled form of Financial Domination but usually involved sex. The true fetish doesn’t involve sex at all because the dominant female wouldn’t dream of having sex with an unworthy submissive. The fact that he’s giving to her is simply because he feels that he isn’t worthy of the money but she, being more powerful and beautiful, should be made to enjoy her life with his money but without any tangible benefit to him. The mere fact that he has given the money is the benefit to him.
I use this metaphor a lot when I’m describing the feelings of the submissive in Financial Domination. When you go to a Christian church there is a time in the service where the plate is passed around and every one gives money to help keep the church running. No one there expects anything from that offering. They certainly don’t expect the pastor to get down and say blow the congregation in gratitude. (Lol that’s probably a whole other fetish.) No, in fact you give because you WANT to, you want to make sure your church is there for you next week, that the pastor can eat for the week and the bills can be paid. It’s the exact same thing with submissive men. If it’s done correctly they look at the woman as a goddess, a deity. To offer up money to their goddess is just the right thing to do. Her life is ALL that matters. As a submissive male you want to eat, sleep and breathe this woman. She IS your religion.
I could get into financial domination….I have money and the danger/rush/excitement is intriguing. For me….and I dont want to sound shallow….would be with an attractive and smart woman…age irrelevant….just to come into my life…get to know me and slowly take over manage my finances.
But your explanation about the desire for lack of control does not explain why it is only/mainly males who play the submissive role. Women and men can equally play the submissive role in bed, why is financial domination an exclusively femme domme fetish?
Women do play in FinDom however female and male submission are actually quite different. Even in BDSM the relationship between a female sub and a male master and vice versa is quite different. Women simply don’t find money being taken from them sexual the way men do.
Hi, I just have need a bit explanation for this!
I am not a FinDomme but one of he VIP’S where I am working telling me to make him slave. I couldn’t imagine when he asked me to demand cash from him or ask him to clean my shoes by licking it!
I was surprised by his messages and I thought that he was just testing me. I cant understand why he acts that way. And he never stops sending messages to me telling me to demand from him some crazy things!
I tried to ride along and even have him my shoes to clean. I told him to use a white piece of cloth but he told me to ask him to lick them. Then he said he did it. Also I asked him to wear my high heels and take a picture and he did it.
Can you guys explain it to me why there are people who behave like that? What do they get from it?
Hi Janelle thank you for asking your question. Why people behave the way you have described is because they are sexually submissive and enjoy being made to do things others may find disgusting and degrading. It doesn’t make them a freak although I’m sure when you don’t understand the behaviour it can look that way. Actually what this gentleman asked of you is quite common. Many submissive men have foot and shoe fetishes and the financial end of it can be simply an add on. They want you to degrade and demand, it’s in their nature. The key is to take it in stride and give him some small projects like you did such as wearing your high heels and taking a pic but add the money aspect to it as well. “You can wear my high heels if you pay for them first, then you can pay for the privilege of putting them on etc.” It can be quite fun for you if you let it.
OOOOOhhhh, I see. Now it all makes sense.
I’m not a gold digger, I’m just a findom!:))
Although in my fantasies sex is present. I don’t get off on too much humiliation, I have to feel admired and worshiped but I don’t want to ruin or hurt anyone.
I guess to each their own?
I’ve learned quite a bit about financial domination from reading your article. I do have to say I had a misconception about how the dome’s managed to get these men (slave/subs) to tribute them.
So can I ask a rather simple question?
Does the Dome have to be harsh and demanding?
I enjoy the aspect of getting into a slaves mind, and gaining control in a more sensual way. Has this be effective in this fetish as well?
I’m assuming so because not everyone may be aroused by
a strict demanding Dome.
Thank You !
Although I need strict treatment at times, my Mistress of 11 years has generally used honey to make sure I send my cash Her way. I serve Her by helping produce Her erotic audio Web site … but She has also found numerous ways to stress the importance of helping this Goddess shine through my dollars. We have both found that sensual and consensual control of me by Her is the best way for Her to reach into my wallet and make Her extractions feel very good!
My Mistress is the only one I serve — for what it’s worth, this slave encourages You to demand that Your boys serve only You. She has received over $35,000 from me, and we are both blessed for that. While it sounds like a fortune, She has extracted it slowly and steadily. Yes, I must shuffle some accounts around at times … but She never makes me suffer immensely or needlessly.
Above all, She puts so much into our relationship. After all this time, I really and truly believe I’m just beginning to explore the depths of my subservience — and Her control.
I, for one, prefer the sensual type of Domination. The harsh/demanding/bratty Dommes are another type of humiliation fetish that is also wrapped up in Findom. However, for Me personally, I only do this when it’s suggested by the sub. I don’t mind doing it, but it’s not My MO most of the time. I think of it like this: I’m not snotty the owner of Clips4Sale, even though he is a man and he signs My monthly checks. So why would I have to be snotty to subs all the time? It’s a lot of work and to Me it feels like putting on false airs.
I want My subs to serve Me financially because, as Doctor Sue pointed out, they want Me to live a better life. I love it when My subs tell Me that they are addicted to Me and that they want to do things for Me because it will improve the quality of My life. That’s what gets ME going (and yes, I DO get off on findom). I want the sub to feel as though I have given his previously-meaningless life a purpose in serving Me.
I have been a financial slave for years. As of right now, I live broke for most of the month, because I pay the bills for 3 women..none of them know each other but I pay electric, rent, car and phone payments. I have even bailed their boyfriends out of jail, took out loans and still continue to get credit cards and max them as well. My credit is now pretty bad and I’m not sure if I’ll ever break this bondage…but in reality it turns me on. I love to see them out enjoying themselves on my money…even though these girls dont humiliate me or anything, they sure do take..and I cant stop giving.
Leon,
Obviously, you’re getting something out of this; it’s fulfilling some need in you, so I won’t be too hard on you. You call it a cycle of bondage – and it is. Do you even want to break it? If you do, making the firm decision to do so is step 1.
In my opinion, you MUST break this cycle or your life will go down the drain. You’re maxing out credit cards, taking out loans, and ruining your credit. Unless you’ve got deep enough pockets to pay for everything in cash (mortgage, cars etc) then this will seriously hamper your life. It’s destroying your ability to live as an independent adult. The fact that you like it is irrelevant. It’s ruining your life yet you still continue on. That’s addiction. You might like snorting cocaine too. That doesn’t mean it’s good for you.
It seems that you enjoy being a provider and maybe that’s what you’re really seeking. Think of how much more you could provide for women that actually deserve it,(and these gold diggers DON’T), if you were at least financially solvent. Maybe you should focus on building your own wealth and you would have so much more to give, without breaking yourself. That would require gratification delay, yes. I’m sure this way is so much easier but it’s not good for you.
P.S. Stop bailing their loser-ass boyfriends out of jail!
I find your comment VERY offensive, pat. As you pointed out, leon is getting some need fulfilled in serving these Women (and no, I’m not one of them, so it doesn’t directly effect Me).
I have men who serve Me financially who are very successful in their lives. They are not ‘losers’ or ‘pigs,’ they are successful business men who are engaging in a fetish they they enjoy with someone else who shares their fetish. I also have subs who are cashiers at Walmart who give the remainder of their checks to Me after they pay their bills. Both are equally as valid and equally as capable of living fulfilling lives while engaging in this fetish.
Why do you think that having a financial fetish is going to ruin someone’s life? It is true that some slaves go too far (and some Mistresses do as well when it comes to things like rinsing and bankruptcy fantasies), but I see this as no different than any other fetish, or even hobby. For example, one of My boyfriends is a film major. He spends probably hundreds each month on going to the theater (and NO, I don’t pay for him to go with money from subs). He has to make cutbacks in other areas of his life in order to be able to afford his film ‘habit,’ but that is a decision he willfully makes every time he buys a ticket and some popcorn.
And wow, the suggestion that all findoms are gold diggers who are using the money to bail their boyfriends out of jail is hilarious and incorrect. I have seen some who post things like they need money for their bills or something, but honestly, many don’t stick around. Is it so hard to understand that I, as a financially independent businesswoman and entrepreneur, enjoy the feeling of being worshiped like a Goddess (and get off on it)? What is so different between financial Dommes and pro dominatrices? Are they gold diggers too? After all, all charge, and many require worship as well.
TL;DR: Just because you don’t like or understand something doesn’t mean it’s horrible and that everyone engaging it is wrong. I don’t understand why a Domme would want to shit on a slave’s chest, nor do I understand the slaves who crave that, but I don’t think they’re inherently bad or wrong for enjoying themselves safely.
You should be aware that emotional manipulation is a very real thing, and as a result, subs should be constantly checked in on, to make sure they actually do want this and that their dom isn’t just a straight up abuser who is emotionally manipulating him into feeling like he has to do stuff or enjoy it.
So a bit of caution never hurts. The dom should honestly be asking these questions frequently too.
You should be aware that emotional manipulation and abuse are very real things. Resultantly, subs should be checked in on to make sure they really do feel safe and that their reasons for liking stuff are their own. Sometimes people get manipulated by a dom into doing stuff because they feel like they have some kind of obligation to do it, or Stockholm syndrome from abuse.
So no, it doesn’t hurt to consider the possibility that a sub who is actually in a *genuinely dangerous* financial situation is actually thinking clearly and not being controlled through emotional abuse.
AGREED 100%! I know you’re talking to Mistress Kiara and not me but in dealing with these victims on the daily the degree of manipulation has gone off-the-chart unfortunately these women DON’T CARE. They are there to grab the money and go. What was once a fun and sexy kink has turned in to a horror show.
I love all of this communication. Very interesting and informative. I do have a couple of questions. Any feedback would be appreciated.
Is there a possibility for legal repercussions? And if a FinDomme wants to remain anonymous in transactions, how does she go about it?
Thanks a bunch.
Miss M.
As long as you are doing this legally, then there are no possibilities for legal repercussions. For example, if you are using payment processors which allow adult transactions, such as Kinkbomb, IWantClips, and Niteflirt, you are fine. If, however, you are using something like Paypal, then you are liable to be popped for breaking their terms of service and have your assets frozen.
If you are having the sub send you money of his own free will, or with maybe a little nudging/demanding/etc on your part, you are fine. If you are engaging in illegal activities such as logging into his computer via Team Viewer, locking his computer, and sending yourself money, then you could be in trouble if he decides to report you.
As for staying anonymous, it’s entirely up to you for the most part. The aforementioned payment processors (except paypal) all keep your personal information hidden from those who tribute, so there is no way that they can find your address or telephone number or anything. I would say that most guys prefer to see the person that they tribute, so having pictures of yourself or offering clips would be the only non-anonymous parts of being a findom.
Hope that answered your questions. Good luck!
Actually I think findom is really prostitution in reverse. It’s playing with the same electrical circuits that buying sex does.
1. Man is aroused and wants sex
2. Man gives money to woman for sex
3. Woman provides sex
4.Man is satisfied
Except that #3 is not provided…
This is good for the woman because she gets and doesn’t have to provide sex to strangers. It’s not so good for the man as he is aroused but not satisfied. Typically after paying the man will ejaculate and associate the satisfaction with the payment. The payment reduces the guilt associated with masturbation, just as masturbation reduces the shame associated with prostitution. Instead of the woman pleasing the man, the man is pleasing the woman.
My guess is that most of the male players involved have already been to prostitutes and already associate money with sex. Women are taking advantage of this, and perhaps this is to be expected. However, it does play on and magnify the stereotype that woman are gold-diggers, selfish and greedy and doesn’t do much for evolving the relationship between the sexes. Though I admit it can be a turn-on it is a shallow pool of play.