Why hello there. How did you get here? Just browsing through this amazing website, I hope. Because you do NOT want to be reading this if I sent you a link to it…
This article really shouldn’t need to exist. It’s nearing the end of 2020 (we’ve almost made it!), and by now we should all understand some basic principles:
- “Workers” are professionals who provide a needed or desired service.
- Any type of work that is both needed or desired, AND performed, requires compensation for the person performing it.
- Sex workers are professionals that provide a desired (arguably needed) service.
In short: Sex work is work. Sex workers are workers. We should be compensated for the work we do and the products and services we provide.
Simple, right?
So why, then, as we are staring down the barrel of 2021 and all that THAT means, are professional sex worker like myself constantly bombarded with messages from those of you who have NO intention of paying for our products and services?
First off, I want to get one thing straight; I am a pro Domme, professional dominatrix, whatever you wanna call it. Just because I require money for my services doesn’t mean I’m ‘fake,’ it means I’m SMART. And that goes for EVERY professional sex worker. You can get free porn anywhere, but what you get from a pro, one-on-one session, custom clip, etc. is an experience with a professional.
“But I want something MORE. I want an actual RELATIONSHIP with my Domme!”
Then you don’t need the services a sex worker provides and you don’t belong in a sex worker’s DMs. Sign up for a dating website and put in the time, emotional investment, and effort it takes to build a relationship with someone. Someone, and here’s the important part, who is ACTUALLY looking for a relationship with somebody. NOT a sex worker who is looking to pay their bills.
“But you deal with this every day. Shouldn’t you be used to it by now?”
If I come to your work and slap the papers out of your hand or unplug your computer in the middle of your job and then just walk away, will you get used to it? Even if I do it every day, multiple times per day?
For me personally, this is a full time job, and the only one I have had for about a decade. I work approximately 60 hrs each week and I only take ONE day off per week. I’m constantly doing and keeping track of things behind the scenes that nobody sees, but is still required for my business to be successful. Income and expenses for taxes, traffic sources, news about the online sex industry, news about covid and when it will be possible to do real time again, classified ads (and keeping track of what I can and can’t mention on each site that I post on), filming clips, taking pictures (which requires about an hour for clothing and makeup before I can even turn on the camera), tweeting, keep ing up with engagement adn retweet groups, reddit, keeping up with upvote groups on reddit… and the list goes on.
Do I expect to be compensated for the time I am doing those things? No, of course not. But what I DO expect is, when it comes time for me to check my emails, Skype messages, and twitter DMs, that anyone requesting my professional services will be also looking to PAY for those services.
“But it wasn’t ME who wasted your time EVERY time, right? Why are you taking out all of your anger and frustration on me PERSONALLY?”
I HATE being interrupted while trying to accomplish the 20-ish things I have on my list every day. But that’s part of the job, and that’s how I get paid. However, when you interrupt me with a message, email, etc, only to literally waste my time with trying to talk to me about fetish play and never paying for it, I become more than annoyed. I get PISSED. Now I have to try to get back to work when there is now LESS time left in my day, my list is no smaller, and my bank account is no bigger. How would the person who runs your local gas station feel about it if you drove up, pumped your gas, and then cancelled the payment? Not too happy I’m guessing. In fact, you might even face jail time for that kind of theft…
“But your rates are SO EXPENSIVE. Couldn’t you just lower them, just this once? Just as a favor to me and my SUPERIOR DICK? PLZ I NEED ITTTTT!!!11one!1!!”
Real talk, we sex workers are ALREADY taking a hit from nearly EVERY payment processor available to us. Even the ‘best’ adult-friendly processors (like AVN Stars) take 20% of everything you send. So when I charge $1 per minute for DMing with you, I’m really only getting $0.80. And that’s IF you pay. We then have to pay taxes, and (in the US at least, which is where I’m based) FAR more taxes as an independent contractor than we would from a normal job. 15.3% this year. Doesn’t sound like much, does it? Except we have to pay it all in one lump sum; there is no ‘boss’ who ‘witholds’ it for us. So, at the end of the year, I’m probably going to owe somewhere around $12k to Uncle Sam, all in one big, fat check. And this is alongside me never getting a “Christmas bonus,” or “company health insurance.”
So, no, I will NEVER lower my prices ‘just for you, just this once.’ That’s not to say that I don’t run sales or specials (My AVN is currently 20% off until the end of October, subscribing to my free mailing list gets you 10% off on my clips, and subscribing to my AVN gets you 15% off), and of course my websites and twitter are FULL of free content if you truly NEED to get off to me personally. But no one gets preferential treatment. It’s just not smart business.
I doubt anyone I sent this link to is actually still reading this. If you are, congrats! You STILL are not getting my time for free.
by Guest Writer:
About Mistress Kiara: Mistress Kiara has been a femdom Mistress both online and in real-time since 2005. You can find Mistress Kiara on Niteflirt, Twitter and NOW Mistress Kiara has an erotica short story on Amazon: The Transformation Pt 1 GET YOUR COPY NOW!