Chunk Shame

Thick thighs save lives, so why so serious?

An interesting little piece of male embarrassment has been popping up lately that I thought could use some discussion, male chunk shame. Now I’m not talking about men who are overweight, nay, nay not at all. What I want to confab about today is men who love thick women. Not the blatant lovers of the SSBBW (Super-Sized Big Beautiful Woman) because there is no shame in their game. I’m talking to you closeted thick thugs who hide in the shadows scared of losing your guy card if you admit you love a woman with some curves, and there are plenty of you boys ‘out there.’

Let me give you some insight from my own experiences. I’m six feet tall with no shoes on. I’m built like a linebacker not a praying mantis so I know of whence I speak. My entire life has been an experiment in terror trying to blend with the rest of you ‘normies.’ Thankfully I reached the conclusion many years ago that blending is not the way to go.

BUT there are quite a few of you boys, and yes I’m going to race this one, white boys especially (I’ll expand on this in a minute), who carry deep shame in their love of juicy women. I had three conversations last week alone with men who felt the need to qualify their love for their wife’s curves.

“I know you love your wife thick…”

“Well not fat! I mean she’s not huge or anything!”

There’s the shame, right there. I never said the word fat, nor would I, but the problem with this shame is the indirect pressure it puts on your partner.

Girls are bombarded from the moment they learn to read and interact with the world that unless you are a size 0, you are an unlovable loser.  Advertising, social media, pop culture, other women, and male expectation in the cis world all lead to the feeling of not being ‘good enough’. We already know that this leads to eating disorders and low self-esteem but what about the man who loves them?

Your average non-overweight, healthy, white male is deathly ashamed of letting their compadres know they love chunky women. If it’s brought up they change the subject to Victoria’s Secret models to prove they’re still ‘cool.’ It even goes so far as to staying mum around their glorious probably thick partner, about their preference, again, don’t ask, don’t tell. What this leads to is women in perfectly good relationships who still think they aren’t good enough even for their partners. That no matter what they need to change, hit the gym, stop eating etc., which plagues their thoughts 24/7 even though they won’t tell you about it.

You see in white society especially, men are not allowed to love thick women or they get teased and tormented by their friends. It’s seen as a weakness of character not to try to get the skeletal female from Instagram. So they stay in the shadows and secretly love what they love without telling anyone, even their thick partners.

Now in black culture it’s completely accepted. I found this out when I started dating and having sex with black men. When I dropped a pile of weight the guys I was having sex with were unhappy and they weren’t shy about telling me that. As opposed to any white guy I dated who constantly told me I wasn’t the way I could be, emphasis on the word could.  “You could be so much hotter if (fill in the blank).”

My first husband loved curvy, dominant women but he’d rather eat dirt than admit that out loud. He spent our 10 years together on a continuous quest to get me to look the exact opposite to what he loved because that was what he thought he should be doing.

White males are so programmed to not think for themselves that they don’t even know why they do what they do, just so long as they don’t rock the fucking boat. Don’t admit what you really like or ‘they’ won’t like you. And that works on so many levels especially in the kink world. Black men have no issues with what they enjoy, for the most part. (I’m generalizing there are those who do of course.) White males are programmed to look a certain way, act a certain way, and if you don’t do those things there’s something wrong with YOU. I have never had an issue with a black man trying to change me in some way to suit their narrative.

Case in point, most larger women will not sit on your face in bed. Why? Because they have it in their minds that they are too fat to do it. It doesn’t even enter their world as a possibility. Which is why I love that meme above that says, don’t be afraid to get on top, if he dies, he dies.

What does it matter what you find attractive? Why do you care about what some other mediocre white male is going to think of your choices? Stop qualifying your love of curvy women with the phrase, “well I don’t mean fat!” It’s like you have it in your heads that if someone says, “oh you like chunky bitches,” it instantly means you love 1000 lb. women. And even if you did, WHO GIVES A FUCK?! Stop trying to maintain standards you didn’t even agree to. Own who and what you love. You like a big booty? Say it loud and proud when you’re asked. Don’t reply with, “well I like a rounder bottom.” Fuck that! Own it! Because in the long run you guys are also the ones who aren’t telling your partners that you LOVE their bodies as they are because again, you’re not supposed to love a body that isn’t ‘perfect.’

After discussing it with those same three gentlemen who brought this whole topic up over the last week it turned out that they weren’t telling their partners they loved every ounce of them. There’s that shame again which in the end, hurts your partner. I told them when they are in bed with them or in the bathroom with them to tell them how much they love all their curves specifically and any other issue that would be deemed as ‘flawed.’ At least own it with your partner for god sake. Make them feel good about themselves for once. Let them know that the majority of men, although they don’t have the balls to admit it, don’t want to have sex with a skeleton. They LOVE meat on the bones of the woman they’re bangin’. Stop making personal preferences shameful.

Women AND men come in all different shapes and sizes. Instead of beating yourself or someone else up over what they find attractive try just accepting it. If you were talking with your friends and you said, “I love blondes,” and someone at the table said, “you’re crazy the only real woman is a brunette,” you wouldn’t give a rats ass but because we’re talking about body size it instantly becomes taboo and you have pull your trucker hat down.

Look even if you can’t find the nuts to admit it to your friends, at least for the love of god, admit it to the person you love. Don’t just admit it, love on her. Make a big deal of how you find every inch of her perfect just the way she is because rest assured she thinks something is wrong with her because that’s all she’s being told and when you stay silent it’s as if you agree with the moronic masses.

And don’t come at me with the health issue shit either. Let me give all of you ‘healthy’ people a bit of advice.

1. Fat people know they’re fat. They aren’t blind.
2. Keep the health advice to yourself.
3. If it was easy to be what you deem perfect, they would be perfect.
4. Let people live their own lives on their own terms whether you agree with it or not. Most people who are overweight are dealing with trauma issues.
5. Learn to STFU if it’s not your problem.

What do you think? Sound off below.