What Exactly Is a Sexual Fetish?

A sexual fetish put quite simply is sexual arousal that’s brought on by objects, body parts or situations that society deems as not normally being sexual in nature.

Because psychology has many theories about well…everything, and many different methods of not only treating but diagnosing, there is no single agreed upon reason as to why a fetish is born, which is why I’ll discuss my own observations and theories.

Through my studies both during and after I was a Pro-domme, I have come to the personal opinion that they are born usually pre-adolescent, but understand that this isn’t true of every person.  To give you an example a client of mine told me the following story about his own fetish because he is one of the rare individuals who can remember precisely when it was activated.

A 3 year old child is playing under the kitchen table while his mother and her friend are gathered talking.  Each of these ladies is wearing pantyhose and neither have shoes on.  The child begins to touch the feet of the ladies in a playful way exploring the feeling of the nylon and the women even engage in tickling the child with their feet or offer games where they wiggle their toes to the delight of the child.  This child grows up to have a very strong fetish towards pantyhose and women’s feet.  However you must remember that there could have been 3 kids under that table interacting the same way and none of them would develop a fetish at all.

I think the best way to put it is that a fetish is like a seed that is planted generally pre-adolescent.  The seed could remain with the child their entire life and never begin to bloom.  Or it could at some point have water poured on it and the seed begins to bloom and blossom and take on a life of its own.

In my opinion we spend far too much time trying to figure out the past.  What really needs to be decided and can only be decided individually is whether the fetish causes someone distress and is ruining certain aspects of their life, or if it brings them pleasure and joy in which case it’s best to embrace it and have fun with it.  In the case where it’s causing distress then treatment is needed.  Treatment of an imposing sexual fetish is usually done with one or sometimes with a combination of cognitive therapy/behavioral therapy, psychoanalysis or medication.