The Dr Sue Review — Page 24 — Straight Talk on Twisted Subjects

Why Do I Fantasize About Sucking My Best Friend’s Cock

D wrote to me about his feelings, fantasies and confusion surrounding sucking his best friend’s cock. And surprisingly I get A LOT of emails asking about this which is why I chose to address it here instead of just returning his email.

The idea of wanting to suck your best friend’s cock originates from your sexual submissive side. It has nothing to do with being gay or straight as I pointed out in my article Does Sucking Cock Make Me Gay. Most straight males wonder what it would be like to suck another guy’s cock. And even if you acted out on it, that still wouldn’t mean you’re gay. You can even get fucked by another male and maintain your hetero status.

Ok I hear you boys out there screaming, “Fuck off, you can’t suck a dick or even worse, get fucked by another guy and not be gay.” Not true, it depends on the context of the sexual act. If you lie awake at night and dream of walking hand-in-hand along a beautiful shoreline at sunset with some dude then yeah you’re gay. However for most straight men that has nothing to do with it. It has to do with the cock not the guy who’s wagging it and THAT comes from your submissive side not a gay side.

When I question men who are conflicted with this issue that’s the first thing I ask them, “Do you dream of being with a man 24/7, cooking his meals and playing house?” Nine out of ten times the answer is no. But when you probe further (like what I did there?) and ask them what they enjoy in porn you’ll find that YES, it’ll be gay porn BUT they aren’t focusing on the guy in the photo/clip/film, it’s the cock and that’s what sets the two apart.

Sexually submissive males dream about sucking cock because they want to submit to the cock not necessarily the man behind it. To a man, submitting to another male is the ultimate taboo because we raise all our males to be alpha even though the majority are not. So it’s not uncommon for a straight, married male to want to suck a dick. As a matter of fact it’s QUITE COMMON.

So you get why you have these thoughts but where the hell does your best friend/roommate/college buddy/insert bestie profile here, fit in to this? Why does he constantly make number one on the top ten list of whose dick you want to suck? That one’s easy. Because you’re comfy with him, he’s your buddy. You trust him. There is a modicum of safety that comes from someone you know that well. You can trust that he’s not likely to go telling everyone that you sucked his dick but even more so, if you’re “best friend” close, there’s an intimacy level that comes with that title. And let’s face it, when many men were pre-adolescent they explored sexuality with their friends, and thus the circle jerk was born.

It is my personal opinion based on decades of observation that the majority of human beings are bi-sexual (speaking on the generalized gay-straight-bi spectrum). All of sexuality and its components are on a sliding scale. My point being, given the right circumstances, atmosphere, and people, most folks will slide to the other side but you generally feel one way or the other the majority of the time which is what you identify with.

So instead of beating yourself up thinking you’re losing your mind you could always bring it up with your friend and ask if he’s ever thought the same thing. Worst he says is no and you drop it. But I can almost guarantee he’s thought of it too and would be more than happy to fulfill both of your fantasies.

And to answer your next question… what if I like it? You probably will. There. So you do it again. So what? It’s okay to enjoy sex. It’s okay to enjoy it the way YOU like it. And no one knows unless you tell them anyway. I mean isn’t enjoying what you do sexually the whole point of sex besides procreation? So stop worrying so much. Relax and chat with your buddy if you want but don’t drive yourself crazy over something that is as common as blowing your nose, (you thought I was gonna say dick, didn’t ya?) but because we don’t sit around over a pumpkin spice latte discussing it, that’s what makes it weird.

What do you think? Sound of in the comments below.

(Typo’s? Tell me on Twitter.)

Can I Be Replaced by a Dildo

Articles, The Submissive Mind

A married husband of 12 years emailed me recently with an issue he found himself facing. In order to spice up their bedroom play they started to play with toys. They began with the basics, light bondage, vibrators and a blindfold and as he stated, they were having a “blast,” the toys adding to their sex life in a fun, positive way.

They were out at their local sex shop checking out some new toy ideas when his wife spotted a large, black, dildo commenting on how large and lifelike it looked. She said she was curious about the black cock mystique and if in fact, bigger was better. But they never purchased the dildo.

This gentleman contacted me because he feared being replaced by the dildo, which is a much more common line of thinking than you would imagine. When I had my sex shop I was asked that on a weekly basis. Some men would even forbid their wives from getting anything phallic shaped. “You can have the sparkly one with the flowers on it,” is what you’d hear from the boys who were clearly intimidated by the larger and more realistic dildos.

So can you be replaced by a dildo? It’s not likely. Not unless you have a 3” penis or have absolutely no real interest in sex.

You have to remember that no hunk of latex or silicone will replace the feel of the human penis. It just doesn’t compare. However, we do have to take in to consideration that if the husband is on the small side she may prefer, from time-to-time, to feel a larger phallus open her up and penetrate her more deeply.

I encouraged him to have a conversation about his fears with his wife in order to assure him that he is in fact, irreplaceable, and that’s what he did.

She told him exactly what I said, that if she didn’t like his penis she wouldn’t have married him. As they talked she expressed that she wanted to explore new fantasies and ideas beyond what they had done so far. She encouraged him to tell her what he fantasized about and then told him that hers primarily revolved around black men.

So after they had their talk and he was feeling more secure they went to the sex shop and bought the dildo she had her eye on last time which was 9” with a 6 ½” girth, her husband being 6.5” which isn’t that bad of a size.

Well with a little bit of work and a lot of lube they got the ‘big boy’ in and she loved it. He was shocked at how differently she reacted physically to it. She was louder and more ‘animalistic,’ as he described it. It was also the first time she had ever squirted and she did so three times that night.

Now although he’s still unsure about how he feels about the dildo. He’s willing to keep playing with it because she enjoys it so much. Plus she said having sex with him after he uses the dildo on her is even better than without it. Does that mean they use it every time they have sex? No of course not, but the dildo now adds another fun thing to pull out of your sex bag of tricks to keep things fresh and fun.

This sort of segues in to another email I received from a lovely lady who had been feeling horrible that she couldn’t orgasm through vaginal sex. But just how does this mesh with the dildo story?

Well first of all over 80% of women are unable to have an orgasm through vaginal penetration only so she is in good company. The problem is most of these men leave women thinking there is something wrong with them when in-fact, the real reason lies with the male.

The clitoris you see is actually a minute portion of the entire organ. The clitoris actually wraps around the vagina, you just can’t see it. But it takes a much girth-ier male to stimulate that and/or the g-spot during penetration. When you add in the fact that the average white male is only 5.5” to 6.5” in length and not that girth-y, it’s not surprising that most women don’t achieve a vaginal orgasm.

This is the exact reason why the gentleman with the dildo phobia experienced his wife having multiple orgasms along with squirting when he used the very girth-y appliance on her.

Dildo’s are NEVER going to replace a real penis but they serve a purpose and in the end, isn’t pleasing our partner in bed what we all want? So stop worrying about your dick being replaced by a chunk of rubber because we ladies will always take real over fake any day.

The Forgotten Women of BDSM

Articles, Femme Domme, The Submissive Mind

Most of the femme domme world is occupied by submissive males. And in the world of masters the ratio tends to be a fifty-fifty split between female and male. So where does that leave the submissive female who wants to serve a female domme? It leaves them feeling cast out and frustrated. Subsequently they find themselves stuck and having a much more difficult time expressing their submission.

Much of the world of BDSM that you see online is based on money for services. So it just makes sense to cater to your biggest client base and for female dommes that would be men. But ladies, in my opinion, you’re missing out on this forgotten niche of wonderful subs.

So just why don’t more femme dommes market to female subs? I’ll throw out a few misconceptions to see if any ring true for you.

You have to be a lesbian to have a female sub
Women won’t pay for femme domme services
Women don’t make good subs

Let’s start with the first one. “You have to be a lesbian to have a female sub.” Why? You have gay men who serve you right? Are you not making men go suck dick for you? If you’re doing online domination (and RT domination sessions I would hope) you don’t have sex with your subs anyway. So why would this be of any concern at all? You’re still using your feminine power to cause this lovely female creature to submit to you, there is no difference. Female submissives are searching for the same thing men are; control, power exchange and the feeling of servitude and being a good girl.

So what about, “Women won’t pay for femme domme services.” In all fairness women ARE less likely to pay for sex services. It’s always been that way. Most phone sex calls are by men, most porn watched is by men. BUT you’re being foolish if you just make this assumption for everyone. Women have just as much disposable income as men because they work just as hard as men. And when they want to relax and kick back and let their freak flag fly they WILL pay for your services especially since very few femme dommes openly accept female subs. As far as I’m concerned, this is a unique opportunity to grab these forgotten ladies and make them part of your stable of clients.

And as for, “Women don’t make good subs.” What are you nuts? WE ARE THE ORIGINAL SUBS! We are the queens of submission because we are all taught from the get-go to be good little submissive girls. If you think that women don’t make good subs you’re out of your mind. Female subs are THE BEST! They get it easier, quicker and with less bullshit than men. Women truly know how to be GIVERS! It’s who we are. Women are, in a sense, pre-packaged submissive perfection with very little training needed. It’s more like fine tuning them to YOUR particular wants and needs. You don’t have to deal with the male ego and all the fun crap that entails.

So if you’re smart, you’ll pick up on this gaping hole (don’t be piggy) in our industry because you’re leaving money on the floor. And if you proclaim yourself to be a true female supremacist, you should be salivating at the chance to have women at your right hand. Women you can TRUST and will be LOYAL to you, unlike many of their male counterparts who are just looking for the next best thing.

If you feel you want the matriarchy to be real then this should be your hierarchy:

DOMINANT FEMALE
SUBMISSIVE FEMALE
DOMINANT MALE
SUBMISSIVE MALE

So ladies, why then are you dropping the ball on the second most important group? In theory you’re only playing to the lowest common denominator. Granted it’s a well-stocked pond but don’t forget, every other female dominant has her pole in that water. I’m not saying to give up on male subs but you have given up on the female subs. And quite frankly, you’re missing out.

*** I think BB brings up a great point in that I’m sure there are femme domme’s ‘out there’ that have an issue with dominating another woman. Not from the standpoint that it’s not worth it but from a respect point-of-view. How can you proclaim yourself to be a superior female when you’re treating another female in a degrading manner? It’s a valid point and could be part of the issue.

I’m also seeing that there are many femme domme’s who love to interact with submissive women but don’t really advertise it. LET THE LADIES KNOW YOU LOVE THEM!!

So Your Wife Doesn’t Want to Have Sex Anymore

Articles, The Submissive Mind

Many of the men I talk to tell me that they are no longer having sex with their wives. In some cases women have shut down for over a decade or more. That makes me sad. Here they are in this perfectly viable relationship and she has closed up shop. But why? Why do so many women reach a point in their relationships where they seem to take their sexuality, pack it in a box and then put the box on a shelf in the back of the closet?

Well there are a myriad of reasons but what I’ve noticed from the couples I’ve counselled it primarily comes down to her not being sexually satisfied and rather than bring it up and discuss it, she simply shuts down.

Because I’ve worked with so many couples who live the cuckold lifestyle I’ve been able to really find out what causes this shut down. And quite honestly it really is the fact that either the male is too small or just doesn’t know how to please her in bed. So rather than call it quits on a perfectly good relationship these women call it quits on their sex lives. They sacrifice their own sexual satisfaction for the sake of having a good friend, great husband and/or father and provider for the family. And really when you look at it that way it makes sense. You can see the thought process in that. “Ok, so he sucks in the sack, I’m not about to break up over that.” And what they do is, just like most humans, rather than confront the situation which could possibly cause their partner pain; they slowly start to shut down.

Women aren’t as invested in sex as men are. It’s not that we don’t love it, we do. But because we are the care givers and nurturers we learn from a young age to put ourselves last for the greater good and that’s exactly what goes on in the breakdown of sex lives.

The pattern is usually the same for men with small to average penises and/or men who suck at sex. You start dating and everything is hot. You’re having sex sometimes two or three times a day. Then you get married and it slows to a couple of times a week. NOT because she wants it to be that way, but because the responsibility load is greater. There’s career, kid and family obligations up the wazoo. And by the time you find the time to fuck, you’re too tired. Then the sex starts to slow to a couple of times a month. Then every couple of months until it dwindles down to nothing.

So when a man comes to me and says, “Whaaa my wife won’t fuck me anymore,” I ask him, “What did you do to kill her?”

Now some of you might think that’s harsh but truth usually is. Because the fact is, if she was really in to the size of your dick and how you fuck, she would make the time for it. If fucking has become a chore that she easily gives up, that’s on you.

How do I know this? Because of watching these same women, women who have shelved their own sexuality, come to life again with the right dick.

Now before you freak out and say sex isn’t everything in a marriage. I agree with you BUT you still have to take this in to consideration if the sex was ‘ok’ at the beginning. Why did it stop?

Of course as I stated earlier, there can be a myriad of reasons why couples shelve their sex lives. There can be medical issues on both parts, there can be a lack of connection as partners but many times when we really drill down it’s because the wife was NEVER that in to sex with her husband in the first place. And in those cases when something different and new is introduced it breathes new life back in to the wife. But that takes men wanting to do the work to keep the sex interesting and not many men want to, either due to fear of their wives thinking anything new will cause them to freak out or it’s all just too much work. It becomes easier for them to just throw on some porn and jerk off. And in almost all cases, NOTHING is ever said, mentioned or brought up between them. Everyone goes on their merry way living life in complete blissful denial.

And no I’m not saying that every couple with a shitty sex life needs to cuckold but you DO need to change up the routine. You need to be honest with one another. Your wife needs to be able to tell you the EXACT reasons why she’s not in to it anymore. And YOU need to LISTEN – even if it hurts. Then you both need to decide to make the necessary changes.

Here are some suggestions:

SEX TOYS – if your dick is too small for her, go to the sex shop TOGETHER and get a dildo that is more suited to her size preference. Buy two and keep one in the car for spontaneous play outside of the house.
- Get some remote controlled sex toys, one for each of you so you can play randomly throughout the day if you’re both working. You never know when you’ll get a charge from your partner.
CHANGE OF PLACE – If you’re always having sex in the bedroom, try peeking your head out and picking a new room. Even better, find new places to have sex away from your home like the car, public bathrooms or secluded parks. (Just don’t get caught)
ROLE PLAY – Role plays can be great fun! You can pick from a range of scenarios the obvious ones being cop/prisoner, teacher/naughty school kid, super hero/villain. Anything that gets you being creative with one another. This is also a great way to switch common roles. Let her be in charge, you boys know that’s what you want anyway. This is a great way to let her test the waters without it being weird and scary.
LIFESTYLE – If you’re feeling adventurous and you think your relationship is strong enough try experimenting with different lifestyles such as cuckold, hot wife/voyeur or swinging.

So instead of whining that your wife is no longer having sex with you and calling her a frigid bitch maybe you need to do a relationship check-up to see where you killed her. When did you murder your wife’s sex drive? Cause a woman who loves her man’s dick, doesn’t put it in a box on the shelf. So if you’re in the back of the closet in that box along with her sex drive you need to find out why. Time to man-up gentlemen, find out the truth and actually talk to the woman you, at one time, found hot enough to marry and maybe breathe life back in to her forgotten sex drive.

The Evil Therapist 3 – The Reluctant Cuckold

Audios, Cuckolding, Dr Sue Audio-Rotica, Erotic Hypnosis, SPH

It’s a shame your wife found your browser history. Now here you are sitting in my office in The Institute wondering how the hell you got here and how you’re going to get out. Unfortunately for you, you’ll get out but you won’t be the same as when you came in.

I explain to you the simple facts of your new life as you drift away on a hypnotic cloud of tranquility, truth and lust. By the time you’re done with your appointment you’ll be ‘right as rain,’ and ready for your new reality as a cuckold to your wife who has been under my instruction for months before you ever walked through my door.

Audio Contains: intro to cuckolding, forced hypnosis, brainwashing, small penis humiliation, wife as goddess.

There is no forced bi in this recording for those of you who are afraid of dick.

Length: 26 mins

File Format: mp3

File size: 60.5 mb

Background tones: NONE

Vocal Effects: YES

Price: $24.99

*Use of headphones is required for optimum effect

Available for Purchase From:

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Sinful Audios

What People are Saying about Evil Therapist – The Reluctant Cuckold

“Love this series. No one does the “evil therapist” better!”

“Another great session with Dr. Sue! I’m starting to wonder if The Institute has a nefarious agenda, but I can’t remember clearly.”

Let me know what you think of your audio in the comments below!

Hypergamy is Not Female Empowerment

Articles, Femme Domme

Chris writes:

“I’ve been thinking a lot about sexual dynamics and where the world is headed right now. Actually, I think that however the media tries to sugar-coat it, males are currently being deprived of their sexual power and everything is headed towards servicing the hypergamous tendencies of women. I also think, however, that this is the right way to go and is actually the natural state of humankind.

While men’s sexual interest is to spread their genes, women are (and should be) the judges of which males are worthy of procreating. And of course when given free hand (i.e. without the constraints imposed by the patriarchy), women will only mate with Alpha Males, who constitute a minority of men: the most attractive, strong, tall men who do not need “resources” or “power” to be attractive, and whom women desire sexually simply because of their top-tier genetics.

For us betas, it is of course a hard pill to swallow that we are deemed unfit for reproduction, but it is something that must be accepted. Beta men suffer terribly because society holds a standard before them that they can never attain due to their beta genetics, and not being Alpha is deemed as having failed at life.

The way forward is, I think, a social acceptance of the fact that most men will never be attractive to women. For these men, the path of servitude should be something socially accepted, so that instead of trying to be something they are not, they could fill their role in society in a respectable way.

I think the ideal (but yet very far-off) version of this would be a society where Alphas live as breeding specimens with the sole duty of pleasuring women sexually and impregnating them when a woman desires a child. And us Betas would work in servitude to women and the Alphas – a good model would be where each Beta could apply or be assigned to be owned by a woman and her Alpha, providing for them financially and taking care of household chores.

I’d be interested to hear your views on this topic, and also in what do you suggest for a beta male trying to find one such couple to serve today.”

First of all Chris, thank you for writing in and let me know how you’ve been doing since we last communicated. I was very impressed to hear that you took my advice and instead of wallowing in what you don’t have you literally took lemons and made lemonade by becoming an affluent male.

What I told Chris essentially was that instead of whining like most men do about not being the alpha male on the book cover of a Harlequin Romance™ novel with the 10” dick and billowing hair the best way to get in to the pool of women he wanted to be in was to make money. And that’s what he did.

Red Green a redneck character created by Canadian comic Steve Smith, (stupid af imho) has a tag line that says, “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”

And my advice is based on that line. If you can’t be the alpha male she wants to fuck you can at least make her life easier in other ways. The first and easiest way is financially. And for those of you whiners in the back row who say they can’t because making money is too hard, well then get used to being alone and saying, “Would you like fries with that?” and rubbing one off in your parents basement.

Here’s another pop-culture reference that illustrates it as well. In the movie Scarface, Tony Montana is sitting at the outside bar with Manolo explaining how basically the U.S. works with his famous line, “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” Money will buy you a certain amount of power.

Now don’t get me wrong, all the money in the world isn’t going to make you alpha or grow your dick BUT it can buy you the attention of the women you crave so badly. Is the attention sincere? Probably not but you can’t always get what you want.

In my opinion though, hypergamy puts women in a submissive and disparaged position by only coming up OFF OF MEN and I’m never down with that. Whatever you want to call it, hypergamy or gold digging, the idea of coming up based on social class (men’s social class) has been going on for millennia. There’s really no difference between that and arranged marriages. The guy with the most goats got the prize of the female. Sure maybe hypergamy gives the woman a teeny bit more power than that but not by much.

You see Chris, in your scenario, you have alpha males and alpha females as cohabitating and living some blissful life eating Alphaghetti™ and Alphabits™ with their alpha dogs and alpha cats. In reality there can only be one alpha dog in the house. I could never live with an alpha male because I’d kill him. You also keep referencing, “work in servitude to women and the Alphas,” like the woman is second to the alpha male, what happened to alpha females? See I’m not diggin’ on your hierarchy here Chris.

Plus you’re also not looking at the reality of what you pointed out. If these men are for breeding purposes only, why would they ‘settle down’ with any female, submissive or dominant? Alpha males are the seed spreaders that’s why they have a hard time being monogamous. It’s why women who fall for them end up months or years later wondering why their man is cheating on them. It’s because seed spreaders gotta spread that seed baby, it’s what they were born to do.
I’m not saying all alphas can’t coexist together of course there are exceptions to all rules but for the most part you don’t put two bulls in the same pen unless you want a fight. But I also think you have a skewed idea of what being alpha is.

I could see a compromise in your ideal world model where the alpha males are used for breeding purposes only and the beta males serve everyone, including the beta females.

Maybe what’s more important to look at in this entire discussion is WHY women have had to come up any way they can off of men. If men would stop fearing women and people of color the world would be a lot easier to live in. But unfortunately what men fear most is the loss of their perceived power.

Perhaps what really needs to happen is more of what you said about society allowing males to be who they are instead of pushing these ridiculous ideals on them. Thus helping to eliminate the scourge of domestic violence caused by males trying to be something they inherently aren’t. And the deep scars it leaves on the souls of the beta males who try so hard to be a ‘real man’ when in fact they always were.

As for my advice on how to serve an alpha couple, I would say stop trying to limit your scope to an alpha couple which will be hard to find. Just serve in the best way you can, EVERYONE you can. Otherwise I’d suggest a cuckold relationship for you where you can serve everyone as I just mentioned but still be in a loving relationship with a strong woman at the helm.