The Dr Sue Review

Talking to your wife about cuckolding, now there’s a slippery subject and it’s usually you, sir, who ends up flat on his ass sliding across the floor.  I’m going to give you some pointers that I’ve developed over the years of counselling men and couples on this very subject.

But first…BEHOLD…the understatement of the year; telling your wife that you want her to have sex with other men can be very tricky and volatile if it’s not handled correctly.

Seems like a no-brainer and yet, so many of you guys become excited Chihuahua’s when you discover cuckolding and you can’t wait to tell your woman all about it because, my God, surely she’ll think it’s as hot an idea as you do. Hell she even gets big dick, how could she NOT love this?

Yet there’s your little Chihuahua ass sleeping on the couch again because, “what are you some kind of freak?” Your ego still stinging from being told that you’re ‘sick and twisted.’ Let’s face it, we’re all very timid when discussing our sexual wants and needs and getting the courage needed to confide what you like only to have it dismissed or worse can be traumatizing.

To avoid this from happening, the first thing I tell a man who is interested in cuckolding but who hasn’t said anything to his wife yet…SHUT UP! (Runs kinda contrary to the title of this article doesn’t it?) But although that may sound crazy because I’m the one always saying your lines of communication have to be open and they do, just not yet, and this is why…

WOMEN OVER-ANALYZE EVERYTHING.

It’s in our nature and our minds never shut off.  We try to read between the lines and many times our imaginations go wild and we aren’t even close to the point you’re trying to make.  Don’t worry I’m not going to lose my chick membership card for telling you that because it’s pretty fucking obvious if you’re around a woman for more than an hour.  And just so you know it’s no picnic for us either.

Here are some of the things that will go through a woman’s mind when you just blurt out that you want her to cuckold you.

“What man on earth wants his wife fuck another man? Who does that?”

“He wants me to fuck another man because he just wants to fuck other women.”

“Oh sure he wants me to fuck another man so he can hold it over my head and call me a whore when he’s pissed.”

“He doesn’t love me anymore and is trying to get rid of me.”

“He thinks I’m ugly, fat, thin, boobs too small, boobs too big, ass too small, ass too big, hair too long, hair too short…[insert insecurity here]”

“He doesn’t want to fuck me anymore.”

“I’m a horrible person that no one can love.”

“Who the hell did I marry?”

“He’s fucking Jenny from down the block. I KNEW IT!”

“Has he lost his fucking mind? I don’t have the time or the energy for something like this I’m too busy going to work, raising the kids, keeping the house clean, running my side business and keeping my mother happy to entertain his perverted ass!”

“FUCK YOU!!”

See I told ya it gets scary in there.

All of this couldn’t be farther from your mind but it’s too late, you poked the tigress the wrong way.  If you’ve found yourself in this place because you already told her about your ‘great idea,’ don’t panic you can actually still do what I’m going to teach you but you’ve set yourself back a few steps and you’ll have to be more patient because now her radar is on HIGH ALERT.

And speaking of radar that’s exactly what I’m going to teach you to fly under so we can get your lovely woman to consider your idea from a different standpoint…her own.

Now some people might say that by me teaching men how to be a bit manipulative to get what they want I’m somehow being anti-female. Nay nay my negative friends, I’m simply going to show you how to get your cuckolding idea properly considered and that involves getting a woman out of her own way.

You need to be covert and stealth.  This is where all those hours of sitting in front of the T.V. watching Die Hard and playing World of Warcraft might actually pay off.  But there are two caveats to all this gentlemen and they’re nasty ones, patience and work.

Oh I know you wanted me to wave my fairy godmother wand, which is recharging at the moment, and make her magically accept what you want but only you can do that Luke once I teach you how to use The Force.

Besides the things I’m going to get you to do are actually going to be fun since I’m assuming you’re sexually submissive which is why you dig cuckolding in the first place.  It involves treating your wife like you’ve probably forgotten how to do…like a Queen!

When we get in to relationships we get bogged down with everyday living and the first thing to go is sex. It’s usually the easiest thing to put on the shelf until later but then later doesn’t happen.  And that works for both men and women.

The first part of your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to get the sexy back in to your relationship. I’m going to rely on YOU my submissive soldier to get back in the trenches.  This is where the work comes in.

Until the next article you are going to spend every moment you can building up your wife’s self-esteem. Even if you think she doesn’t need it, you’re going to do it anyway. You’re going to start touching her again. Something I’m quite sure you don’t even realize you don’t do anymore.

That means you are constantly going to do things for her that consist of you touching her; massage after work (even if it’s just her shoulders for right now), a foot massage from you foot boys would be delightful as well.

If you sit across the room from one another while watching the boob tube that stops now.  You are going to get the closeness back in your relationship.

If you’re not domestically inclined get over that in a hurry. I want you making her life easier in every way you can think of, from picking up the kids after dance class to scrubbing toilets.  Whatever you can do, without being asked, that will help her get through her day.

Next you’re going to sprinkle in some genuine compliments. Did you notice I italicized the word genuine? That’s because if they are off-handed bullshit compliments she’ll smell it a mile away.  So sit down and make a list if you have to of all the wonderful things you love about her, doesn’t have to be physical, and you start saying them. Don’t just think them. She’s not Miss Cleo and can’t read your mind. Verbalize them.

I’ll be honest once you start this she WILL raise an eyebrow. Wouldn’t you? Especially if you haven’t been all that complimentary or touchy feely lately.  And she will probably think you just want to have sex.  But it’s ok. She can be suspicious as hell the trick is to KEEP DOING IT! Eventually the compliments and affection will become second nature for you to do it and second nature for her to hear it.

The key to this is not having the affection and compliments associated with sex. That’s because if you’ve just been doing the horizontal mambo, in missionary position, with the lights off,  twice a week (if you’re lucky) for the last several years then my guess is that’s probably the only time you’re affectionate with her – to get some dick action.  We’re trying to reconnect with the sexual part of her mind. Yes her MIND. We want to open her up if she’s been closed off, not from life but with life for a while.

So why am I making you do these things?  Because what you’re creating is the Queen mind-set. We want her thinking she’s better than you. (I’ll let that sink in and give you time to clean up the beer you just spit on your screen) See up to this point I’m assuming you guys have been doing everything pretty equal. But let us not forget my little WannaCuck, that cuckolding is a Dominant/submissive, female led relationship. We can’t create that without first creating our Queen.

The techniques I’m showing you may seem weird but I can assure you that they are based on years of experience and fine tuning. The frequency at which Kink E Magazine comes out is the perfect amount of time to implement each set of techniques you’ll learn and this is where patience comes in.  But if you hang in there you’ll be rewarded in the end with a much more satisfying love life even if she doesn’t take it to full cuckolding.

In the next article we’ll be implementing sex toys and role playing games. Now off you go to complete your mission little WannaCuck and NO WHINING!

How to Tell Your Wife You’re Interested in Cuckolding Pt 2

How to Tell Your Wife You’re Interested in Cuckolding Pt 3

I certainly hope all you cucks-in-training did your homework from part one.  If you did you should be noticing a change in your wife.  She should be showing more signs of confidence and even being a little more demanding of you. This is good, this is what we want. If you’ve built up her self-esteem then you should even be noticing her becoming interested in sex again and perhaps even acting a bit sexier.

Now just because you’re about to go in to phase two doesn’t mean you stop doing what I taught you so far.  I want you to continue treating her like a Queen because she IS your Queen so keep going with your Queen building only now we’re going to add some new ideas.

I’m hoping that the two of you are more intimate now. In theory if you’ve worked it right you should be having more sex than you did before.  For some, you might notice a change in your wife because she’s becoming more selfish sexually.  All of this tells you you’re going in the right direction. If you haven’t noticed any great changes yet, that’s okay.  It just means it might take you a bit longer but like I told you before you have to have patience during this process. Once you begin to notice these changes you can start introducing more fun in to the game.  Now we want to start putting her in positions of power so she can get used to being dominant.

For many women who know nothing of BDSM they get a bad taste in their mouth when you use the word dominant because it brings up images of women with whips and chains or worse.  Now you may love that image but remember if you don’t know all the different aspects of BDSM and I’m assuming your wife doesn’t she doesn’t understand that you can be sensually dominating.  It’s actually much sexier and more seductive to be that way but we have to work past stereotypes.

So how we get her in to the mindset of being dominant without scaring the living crap out of her is by placing her in positions of fun power. So you’re going to start role playing in the bedroom. This may feel awkward at first if you’re not used to playing these types of games but you’ll soon get past the weirdness and start having fun.  If you already do role playing in the bedroom you’ll be aces with this.

You want to start by placing her in fun positions of power such as cop and prisoner where you’re the prisoner and she’s the cop. It gets her used to being in power and it’s pretty obvious what her role is and she doesn’t have to think too hard to play that part.

You can also do other role plays were she’s the teacher you’re the naughty schoolboy, she’s the doctor you’re the patient – you can see where I’m going with this. This makes domination fun and she won’t think about being DOMINANT! Any role playing game that puts her in a position of power is what we’re going for here. This will also feed your submissiveness and get you off the hook of having to be alpha in the bedroom.

Now the other thing you’re going to do is introduce her to sex toys if she hasn’t played with them already.  If you have some toys or she has a vibrator it’ll be easier to bring them in to the bedroom because they won’t scare her.

If she’s never had or used a sex toy in her life you may find her reluctant to play with one.  That’s why you’re not going to take her shopping with you you’re going to surprise her with one. Remember what I taught you in part one, we don’t want her over analyzing everything which could happen if you take your wife to a sex shop for the first time in her life.

No you’re going to go shopping by yourself.  You’re going to find a dildo not a vibrator.  You’re going to look for one that is preferably silicone as it’s better for you from a health perspective.  Plus you don’t want the room or her vag smelling like a tire factory. You want to look for a dildo that is realistic not pink with flowers.  If your dream is for her to have sex with a black male then get a black dildo.  That will be more for your pleasure at this point than hers.

What you need to remember when toy shopping is this; make sure the dildo is bigger in size than you but don’t get KONG THE MAGNIFICENT or something that is so freaking big you show it to her and she passes out. Men who had never bought toys for their wives used to come in to my store and pick out these gigantic dildos and I’d have to stop them or they’d end up with the thing being used as a baseball bat upside their heads.  In some cases boys, bigger isn’t necessarily better and at this stage it’s definitely NOT better. So get it about one and a half to two sizes bigger than you in the color of your choice and buy lube!

Now if your wife is totally fine with sex toys you can take her with you to pick out the dildo she wants with the same criteria that I just gave you. It just makes the process easier and actually more fun when you go toy shopping together.

So you have your toy and your lube now what? If your wife is used to toys you start using it on her during your bedroom romps. Guys with open-minded wives have it way easier so I’m going to concentrate on you cucks-in-training with less experienced ladies.

When you first introduce it to her make sure you’re in the middle of a good romp in the sack. Don’t whip it out and pretend to be some sort of swash buckling pirate. Put it under the covers ahead of time or your pillow to warm it up.  Then you’re going to just run it up and down the inside of her thighs and lightly over her labia. We don’t just grab and ram it in.

She’s going to wonder what it is and you can show her.  Tell her you got her a gift because she deserves to know what it feels like to be truly ravaged by a decent sized dick.  Thus starts your foray in to disparaging your own penis. Don’t tell her you think your dick is useless just tell her you want her to feel what it’s like to be fucked by something bigger than you.

Lube it up good even if she’s really turned on. No matter what foreign object it is, it needs to be lubed at this stage because it will feel weird especially if it’s her first time. Her fear may cause her to dry up. The last thing you want is for this to feel like you’re trying to fit a dry, square peg in a round hole.

Don’t just ram it in her either. Remember she’s been used to your cute, little willy for so long if you were to just ram it in it will hurt.  Push it in-in small increments. This gives her vagina time to open up to the size. Once you’re all the way in you can start thrusting, gently. Again we don’t want to give her the pile driving Mandingo experience her first time. Just let her get used to the size.

The most important thing even more experienced toy users need to do at this stage is name your dildo. Yes you heard me right you need to name it and we’re not calling it fluffy.  You want a male name for it. This may sound insane and awkward but the reason why you’re naming the dildo is for psychological reasons.

Let’s say you name it Bob. Now when you’re having sex this gives her the ability to say she wants Bob tonight. This has a multi-layer effect. First of all it gets her used to have a third entity in your sex life. It’s also fun for you during these beginning stages. In your own mind, as you’re using it on her, you can look at it and feel as though another male is having sex with your wife.  It can also become a game where say she’s fixing dinner and you whisper in her ear, you want Bob tonight? You see Bob now becomes a third party in your bedroom even though it’s a hunk of silicone.  You also get that small humiliation thrill when she says, “No I want Bob tonight.”

The role playing and the introduction of the dildo/third party in your bedroom will start to get your Queen in to the mind-set of wanting someone bigger than you while putting you in your place by being somewhat dominant in the bedroom.

Do your homework and don’t rush things.  If you rush you’ll take twenty steps backwards and could possibly get her to reject anything you want to do altogether.

Well gentlemen if everything has been going right you should be having some serious fun.  Let’s quickly re-cap what you’ve been able to accomplish so far:

• You should have built up her self-esteem by making her your Queen and thus your sex life should be improving.
• You’ve placed her in positions of power in the bedroom to let her see that domination isn’t scary.
• You’ve introduced not just sex toys but a dildo in particular that is larger than you and you’ve hopefully named it.

By now you should be seeing glimpses of her coming around to the idea of having sex with other men.  You may find that she is asking for ‘Bob’ the dildo more.  She may be starting to give you assignments for things that need doing around the house.  You may even see her starting to dress a little sexier or if she was unhappy about her appearance before you might notice her making some changes to whatever it was that bugged her; her weight, her hair or her skin.

If she’s really enthusiastic you can NOW introduce cuckolding to her. You can tell her it’s a ‘thing.’  Most women don’t know what cuckolding is and have never heard of it.  You let her know that A LOT of women are doing it but that it’s just not being talked about openly.  You tell her to go online and start researching and with any luck at all she’ll now take the reins.

Now the fun you’ve been waiting for begins. You can start looking for bulls together. Some people go online – my suggestion is to hit up swing sites as you’ll find many single guys there looking to play with couples.  You simply let them know it’s not a swing situation and they get it.

If you and your wife want to go down the road of interracial sex then my suggestion is to go to DarkCavern.com which is where many couples go to find men of color to satisfy their wives.  It is primarily cuckolding so you won’t have to explain anything on that site.

After that the sky is the limit. You can play as hardcore or as softcore as you want. You can have multiple play partners for her or just have one. It’s all up to you and what works for the two of you.  And that really is the key to making this work.  Read up online about what other couples are doing and if it works for you then institute it, if it seems weird or too hardcore just don’t add that to your repertoire.  The most important thing to remember is that there are no rules.  You’ll read all sorts of information online that says it’s only cuckolding if you do this or that but don’t buy in to it.  This is about what works for you and your wife and your relationship, not about what everyone else is doing so don’t get too excited if you see something that looks like it’s crazy.  Just move on to the next idea.

If you’ve done everything I’ve told you to do but haven’t had any success in pulling her in to the ‘game,’ it’s possible it’s because she really doesn’t want to go down cuckold lane.  You see boys, you have to be willing to go as far as she’ll allow.  If you only get her to play with ‘Bob,’ or dominate you a little in the bedroom isn’t that better than where you were before?  You have to be willing to go only as far as she wants to go with no pressure.

For some women the idea of having sex with another man other than the one she’s in a relationship with is abhorrent.  It goes against who they are as people.  That is something you cannot and should not try to change.

So hopefully this series has helped you move more in the direction of where you want to go with your relationship.  If you run in to stumbling blocks, and you will, that’s what I’m here for.  Just contact me and I’m happy to help you out!

I consider the best part of my job as a counselor to be when I suggest couples make a few changes to an otherwise ‘written off’ relationship and then watch as everything old is new again.  In the past several weeks I’ve had the pleasure of working with two gentlemen who never thought to explore their submissive side.  One gentleman is divorced from his wife, the other still with his wife but she has cheated on him in the recent past.

When you look at those two situations you might think that they’re both screwed.  The one guy has already lost his wife, the other probably about to lose his so what’s the point?  Well after talking to each of them I was able to determine that these two relationships could still be salvaged, yes even after divorce.

Neither of these gentlemen really gave much thought about their submissive side until I brought it to the forefront and suggested they look at their lives differently.  In each case they had sexually submissive thoughts but by changing and expanding on the scenario they usually masturbate to it opened a while new world of possibilities.  It’s like playing on the holodeck of the Enterprise on Star Trek.  Each one responded very strongly to the visualizations I gave them putting them in submission to their wives.

 This is when I brought up cuckolding.

Once we had the chance to go over not only their fantasies but some of the reality of the their lives thus far they realized, like a bulb lighting up over their heads that this is what they should have done all along.  Just like in the advice I give in this month’s Answer Avenue to the gentleman who was upset about realizing he’s submissive, both of these boys were so involved in living their lives the way they ‘should’ that they lost themselves and their relationship’s in the process.

These are the couples with the house, the 2.5 kids, the dog and to everyone else they look idyllic.  Nay nay, (I miss you John Pinette) here you have people who got caught up in the ‘family dream.’  I’m not saying that the family dream is a bad thing but unfortunately it usually comes with BOREDOM.  The woman starts to feel like she needs more than driving the kids to hockey practice and lying in bed waiting for the sex she gets from her husband maybe once a week but usually less, to be over.

It’s not a conscious thing.  She’s not doing it to be a bitch, she’s bored.  The husbands are usually hiding quietly in the basement calling phone sex lines trying to live out the fantasies they can’t possibly tell their wives while the wife is upstairs watching Game of Thrones wondering what else there is and once this point in the relationship is reached, the nit picking starts. You know those fabulous fights you have over the top not being put back on the toothpaste, or the dreaded toilet seat being left up, when all the while the elephant in the room that no one will speak of is the mouse in the husband’s pants.  Every single time I drill down past the submission I find a teenie weenie.

In the case of our guy who is divorced from his wife he had never really measured himself before.  When I brought up the fact that he’s probably small he said he really thought he was average but after our first talk he measured himself to find he’s 3.5 inches erect.

His wife left him after several years of both of them being unhappy about everything but what it really was.  It’s not either one’s fault, they weren’t conscious of what the real issue was.  After further discussion he told me his wife had cheated on him and had ‘butt dialed’ him one night when she was with her lover.  He sat and listened to his wife having sex with another man and when I asked him if it made him angry or if it made him horny he replied, horny.  She was already cuckolding him but neither one of them new it.  He was too ashamed to admit that he was turned on by everything that had happened and was still very much in love with his ex.

Cut to what is happening now with this couple even though it has only been a few short weeks I had him talk to his ex-wife, she did quite a bit of research and found out one of her close friends was cuckolding her husband but no one talks about it.  Now she has validation from her friend and a huge source of information and games to play.  She has grabbed on to the idea and run with it. She’s never felt sexier than she does now even though she’s still driving the kids to hockey practice.  They are closer now than they ever have and although they aren’t moving back in together yet, I can see it being possible in the future but even if they don’t, they’re happy.  And happy means happy kids.

As for the other guy whose wife was recently cheating on him, I told him he needed to discuss cuckolding with her.  I told him how to do it, what to say, how to approach the subject and it went equally well.  Although they have some bugs to work out, that’s common when you start something new, he’s never been happier.  He doesn’t have to, in his words, ‘fool’ anyone anymore.  He never gave his submissiveness a second thought but when I mentioned cuckolding along with visualization he was very turned-on.  And yes he too has a small penis that he never really gave much thought to.  He thought his calls to phone sex lines would be the extent of his submissive side.  After all, he along with the other guy run mid-sized corporations by day, ‘I’m not submissive.’

In the case of the women they think, ‘well he’s a good provider and a loving man I can just live with his dick size.’  Again the classic case of societal programming, women should always ‘shut up, be nice and settle.’  That’s what good submissive girls do.  But when you put cuckolding on the table and you let a woman do a little research in her own time most, not all but most, feel something click just like the sub does.

Cuckolding in the right circumstances is a win-win-win.  The submissive husband gets to be himself.  He no longer has the pressure of also being a stud in the bedroom.  Something that is quite difficult for most submissive guys with small dicks.  They feel a weight is lifted when they don’t have to pretend anymore.  The wife gets the provider she loves, the good father she adores and the loving arms of her husband along with sex with a man who fulfills her desires.  The bull/alpha/lover gets to have sex with a variety of women which is great because true alpha males find it hard to stay faithful.  He’s not there to cuddle and help you pick out school clothes for the kids.  He’s there for one reason, his own lust getting quenched.

Cuckolding is catching on in the bedrooms of average couples all over the world.  I’ve been working with another couple in India.  I’m not saying it’s the answer to every couple’s problem but if the circumstances are right it’s an option.  We already live with the statistics of 50% of all marriages end up in divorce, if this helps keep a few families together happily as opposed to begrudgingly than I’m happy.  And I won’t lie it makes me feel good to know I had a little hand in bringing about that happiness.