You’ve heard me reference The Game before. No, I don’t mean a book about picking up women or a movie from the 90’s with Michael Douglas. (Although if you haven’t seen it, do so.) No I’m talking about the horrible game we push men to play when we force them to be alpha males and that’s not who they are.
Because most of what I publish on here is about submissive men and dominant women, I get horrible comments that I delete because they aren’t conducive to the conversation. So the comments tend to range from submissive men are garbage to dominant women are just bitches who need to be raped and put in their place. Nice, right?
In those types of comments you not only see insecurity but you see just what is put onto men from an early age. I believe most of the negative comments are from frustrated males who are having issues dealing with their own submissiveness and inability to express it. Otherwise what are they doing on my website in the first place? Believe me, “real” men who are secure in their masculinity aren’t trolling my website, they are out getting laid. But I digress.
My point is, look at how negatively we think of submissive men. It’s no wonder most of you boys are so into being humiliated. You’re constantly told being who you are is vile. Add to that women who insist on looking for Fabio to whisk them off on a white horse because their romance novel says that’s what he should be doing, leaves men in a no-win position when they aren’t “that guy.” And the absurd part of it is, women don’t want “that guy” to get into a relationship with because he’s probably going to fuck around on them. He doesn’t have that white horse for nothing; dude has to split in a moment’s notice to appease the side piece.
So we leave most men, who by-the-way, are submissive, stuck having to pretend to be “that guy.” And in so doing, we leave them in another no-win situation. They are fucked if they do, and fucked if they don’t. If they show they’re submissive, they’re weak pieces of shit. But when they try to be alpha we are equally dismissive. Why? Because it’s blatantly obvious that isn’t who they are.
This is how you get these marriages where guys are calling phone sex lines and visiting pro-dommes all on the side, because they did what they thought they were supposed to do. Have that wife, 2.5 kids and white picket fence. But the only way he can fulfill his societal role is to pretend he IS “that guy.” He has to go out and rule the work world and rule the dating world and rule over his family when all he really wants to do is yell STOP because he just wants to forget about it all. He just wants no responsibility for five fucking minutes but he can’t, he has to play The Game. He has to put on that alpha mask and kill it or he’s considered a complete loser. So what ends up happening to that marriage? He ends up spending his time looking at porn and she stops fucking him because sex has always been lackluster and boring. She was looking for “that guy” and she thought she had him because he had to play The Game to get her in the first place.
When is The Game going to stop? When will we allow men to be whatever they feel they want to be in any given moment? If he wants to step outside of societal norms, let him. Instead of shoving everyone into these molds to suit everyone BUT the person who’s being shoved. And for that matter when will be stop doing the same thing to dominant women?
I’ll say this again, if the dick or pussy or whatever isn’t coming for you, then it’s none of your business what other people are doing and your obsession over who, what, when, where and how people fuck is, in itself, an illness.
It’s not your job to right wrongs you believe are being committed. Just ignore it, and move along. If it isn’t in your immediate world, it isn’t worth paying attention to cause in the end, these tirades you go on about the evils of dominant women and submissive men, only makes you look intensely insecure and pathetic. Interesting how you’re actually portraying yourself in the exact light you’re trying to shine on others. Projecting much?
Ladies, if you have yourself a submissive guy consider yourself very lucky. You have a loyal, loving man who will do anything to make you happy provided you allow him the ability to let go of playing The Game and let him be himself once in a while.
And to my submissive boys, I get it, I know you have no choice but to play The Game to survive in this world but know this, you are the ones who make the world function. Without you nothing would get done. You are the glue that holds everything together. Never allow society to dictate to you how you should be or act. This is YOUR life, have fun with it.
What do you think? Sound off below…
As a submissive man myself, I really enjoyed this article. It really hit on a few different levels – I truly don’t think women can understand the societal pressure to be hyper-masculine and never show weakness. It is reinforced by everyone you know and trust as you grow up in your formative years (at least in USA).
Of course, I am into sissy fetish stuff nowadays and it takes me to a place where all of that weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I am unsure what exactly was the cause, but if I had to guess — I would say the forced repression of all feminine tendencies growing up made it into something like a forbidden fruit to me. I think without that trauma growing up, I would have no interest in this fetish. The clothes and all the rest just come with it of course. I don’t understand how any men look at those beautiful clothes and don’t wanna at least try them on. It’s just depriving yourself.
Most dommes here seem quick to talk down about sissies because they crave attention. Trust me, I get it. Just know – we don’t choose what we are attracted to.. AND no one is forcing you to add into your profiles that you are into sissification when you actually …. aren’t.
Dr. Sue – I just stumbled across your website. Read this article and an article on Fluffing. THANK YOU for your insightful articles, I spend so much time feeling shameful about my tendencies and interests, it is great reading articles like this that help me feel a little more normal.
You’re very welcome Ryan. I can assure you, you’re quite normal.
Once I got to the part about marriage, phone sex and pro-dommes I thought this was actually being written for me personally rather than a general article. Nail on the head Dr Sue, but so refreshing to read. Thanks x
I appreciate this article very much. Especially the last paragraph. Everyone can use a little encouragement now and then.
Finding a good dom sounds nice but I have a lot of boundaries I dont want crossed. My sub side is more like a child that wants a mothers love which I dont think is realistic to find without having to pay for it in some form or another. The femdoms I’ve known seem like the man is more like a useful tool than treasure and I just dont want to be anyones tool.