Hi boys and girls, I’m back with another opinion piece and who knows, maybe some valuable advice will come out of it.
I’m noticing a not-so-nice trend within our community. Unfortunately boys I’m going to come down on YOUR butts for this. It’s the unfortunate behavior of submission with condition and the really ironic thing is that for those of you who do this you’re actually cheating yourselves.
So many of you boys seem to see submission as being some sort of commodity that you can bargain with…news flash…it isn’t. When you start submitting with only your own gratification in mind you’ve just lost the point of submitting at all.
There seems to be some growing trend with you boys to only submit provided there is some sort of reward at the end of the tunnel. I’ve observed this not only in financial domination, which I would have to say is rampant with it, but also in real time as well.
Let me just say that even if you’re paying for your session if you’re going in to that session, any session, with a ‘what’s in it for me’ attitude you completely blow past the entire submissive experience. Now it’s just a client-provider relationship.
True submission is an act of selflessness, it comes with the attitude of ‘what can I do for you?’ with no strings attached. I discussed compersion in a previous article about submission Are You a Sub or Not. Compersion is the joy created from a selfless act that brings another joy, relief or happiness.
I was speaking with a client of mine who had an epiphany one day when he realized that he was essentially wasting his own time by having expectations in his relationship with his Domme. He couldn’t figure out why he felt empty and why the whole experience lacked any real ‘feeling’. Then it dawned on him that he was going in to it the wrong way the whole time. He had been one of these guys who jumped around from Domme to Domme always looking for greener pastures until he realized that it wasn’t greener pastures he was looking for. That in fact his pasture was as green as could be but it was HE who through his expectations of ‘what do I get?’ was completely missing the entire submissive experience. He changed his outlook and started submitting with zero expectation, relying only on the act of pleasing with no reward and he finally found his Utopia.
So many of you subbie boys go in to this with a ‘well I just sent you a gift off of your wishlist so send me a pic of your hooters’ attitude that you are defeating the purpose of submitting in the first place. Of course you feel empty afterwards, you weren’t giving from a selfless place you didn’t get to experience compersion and only until you reach that point of pleasing with no expectation will you stop feeling like your submission is boring or that your Domme is just greedy.
Here’s perhaps a more compelling story that was told to me by a slave of mine. He heard the story of a Domme who had been in a horrible car accident. Her friend, also a Domme, gave her the use of her best slave during her convalescence. This slave did everything for her, ran her errands, did her housecleaning, made sure she ate properly and each day when his duties were finished he left quietly without any expectation of reciprocity. He just served, and was quite happy to do so.
Later, when the Domme was healthy and was back in true form both she and the slave’s actual owner secretly conceived of, and then delivered, a double Domme session with this every unsuspecting and now very happy slave. So you see? To serve without expectation of something in return usually will bring you great rewards anyway. Those of you who truly submit selflessly are the only boys and girls who can say they are truly submissive and know the feeling of servitude. So ask yourself this…do you serve with expectation or without?