Pat probably thinks I forgot about him but I didn’t. He wrote me last month, yeah I know I’m a procrastinator with way too many balls in the air, but he always makes such valid points that I know others will benefit from and he’s done it again!
Here’s what Pat wrote:
“Does submitting to someone of the same sex, while otherwise being attracted only to the opposite sex, make someone bisexual?
Over the last few years I’ve realized that I am sexually submissive with women, and possibly, maybe with the right kind of man as well. But I otherwise have no interest in men. I have no desire for a vanilla sexual interaction with a man. It’s just about dominance and submission.
Have you ever encountered submissives like this and what do you think it means?”
I talk to many, MANY people who are sitting in this position. You guys always hear me talk about the sliding scale of sexuality. If we peeled away all the layers we are all inherently bi-sexual on some level. It’s just that some of us lean more one way or the other. Take myself for example; I have no lesbian tendencies at all. I’ve watched girl-on-girl porn, I’ve actually even participated in threesomes with 2 girls and one VERY LUCKY guy, yet I had no inclination to go near the other women, the urge or eroticism just isn’t there. But I DO know that given the right circumstances and the right mood or ambiance that I might go down that road. Who knows? I’m not about to pigeon hole myself and say, NO WAY I’M NEVER TACO MUNCHING!
I counsel primarily men and there are so many of you guys who are sitting in this position which I would say is right, dead smack in the middle of the sliding scale and sometimes that’s a harder position to be in.
I will say this again and again until I’m blue in the face; Pat’s position is all based on D & s. When you’re feeling sexually submissive, it’s more your need and desire to serve that makes you suck another man’s cock. It has NOTHING to do with your sexual orientation. Guys always figure if I suck a cock I’m a fag. Wrong! Unless you have romantic desires (i.e. Find other men sexually attractive and would go in to a romantic relationship with them) for the opposite sex you are NOT gay! Are you bi? Yup! But remember even bi-sexuality has a sliding scale. It’s our society’s need to label everything that fucks up your heads.
A submissive male who sucks another guys cock is not gay he’s SERVING! He’s PLEASING! It’s coming from that submissive part of you not the sexual orientation part of you. I see more people in pain from having confusing thoughts that don’t conform to what society deems as ‘normal’ that it saddens me. If we weren’t so god damn focused on what our neighbor is doing or who they’re fucking people wouldn’t have to feel this emotional confusion and pain. What you do behind closed doors (consensually) is none of anyone’s business. Would I like for everyone to be able to discuss what they do openly without judgment? Hell ya! Is that going to happen in our lifetimes? Sadly, no.
Even when you are in that submissive situation and you are sucking his cock or doing anything else sexually to this, I’m assuming, alpha male and he’s telling you you’re a ‘dirty faggot,’ even THAT doesn’t mean anything. It’s part of the humiliation streak that goes along with your submissiveness.
I have men who phone me in complete FEAR who say to me, “what if I suck a cock and like it?” So? Let’s look at that, you suck a cock and you like it, chances are you’re not enjoying the oral based on, “oh I want this guy to like me,” it’s because you are SERVING. You are delighting the idea of pleasing this guy and a lot of times it’s at the behest of a Dominant female who’s telling you to do it. In that case you’re doing what you’re told, you’re a good sub in that moment. Just relax and enjoy that wonderful feeling of submission instead of letting your mind squirrels tell you you’re wrong, or fucked in the head. You’re not!!!!
The real key in enjoying what you do is letting go of trying to ‘fit in’ with the rest of the world. Why on earth do you want to fit in with a bunch of fickle, mind-changing, bigoted, paranoid people? It’s a game you CANNOT win. So to try to play it is more ridiculous than you sucking a cock. Do what you love, what makes you feel good and let go of the societal/religious programming.
Sucking a cock in a D & s situation DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAY!
53mm whonis sexually submissive to sucking cock and receiving anal from men. Did things growing up and never lost the desire. Only want to be in a romantic with a woman but sexually attracted to cock.
j am a married man of 30 years i suck my first cock 8 years ago at a porn shop with the booths watching porn . the guy i suck had force me to suck him by the time i was done sucking him off i was hook and suck 5 other cock that day swallowing all there cum . i was hook i was back there the next day sucking more cock but this time i ended up being fuck and split rostrd that afternoon i was fuck by 7 diffint guy all 7 dumping there load deep in my ass . i turn fron a strate happy married man to a cock sucking faggot in a mater of 24 hours have not had sex with a women now for 8 years so yes sucking cock will turn you gay it turn me gay
I like women but there is nothing wrong about sucking another man’s cock, an ex GF got me into it 20 years ago and I still do it. I have a regular guy I do once a week, his wife likes to watch, he’s 45, 7 inches I swallow his load on my knees, it’s great. Last week I sucked my first black cock,a 25 year old TS, 10 inches, very erotic.
I am married but most of my life I have sucked many man and I love to wear girly clothes whenever I do .I guess you could call me a bottom ,i love to suck and take there cum. I guess you could call a closet crossdresser.love sissie clothes.
I love the way it makes me feel so naughty. I just get turned on by the sex. As soon as I cum I want to leave and I feel all guilty for about ten to twenty minutes.
That’s insane. That’s exactly how I feel. I’m 19 and have this older guy that that I do stuff with and I love sucking him and he eats me out but afterwards I feel so bad. But I end up doing it again.
I’ve been married for over 24 years and always had a high sex drove. I like eating my wife was, I like her fingering my ass and then suck on her fingers. I love cumming in her and the ideal of going down on her afterwards, I like getting pegged by her… I also love the ideal of her getting fucked by other guys who cum in her so that I can hear her out.. She feels that I’m gay and feels that I’m not admitting it.. while I love the things above I’m not attracted to guys, I’ve not seen a guy whom I can say I want to have sex with him.. I’m confused on how to convince my wife that I’m not gay
I’m a mwm, 48, been married to the same woman for 29 years. Last week we got drunk and ended up at a bar in my city. My wife partied for a bit but decided to catch a ride with friends home. The girls husband who gave the ride to my wife stayed back too. After about a hour we were talking in a booth…. mostly about how our wives wouldn’t suck our cock’s. He told me that he’d actually had a guy suck him once. I’ve never thought about sucking a dick until that moment. Fir some reason….I asked him if I could suck his cock. We went to the parking lot and got into my car ..but there were way to many people there. I drove to the riverfront and we got out. It was kinda weird by then cause I’d thought about it but I committed. He pulled his cock out and I sucked….it was exciting, seemed dangerous, being on my knees just made me hot. My question is does this make me gay? I’m not attracted to men but sucking his dick that night has made me think.
You just answered your own question John by saying, “I’m not attracted to men…” What you did started from curiosity and you had many times where you could have bailed on the situation but as you said you were ‘committed.’ You also said being on your knees made you feel hot. You’re sexually submissive, just as I stated in the article. This has nothing to do with the guy, it was the cock.
I agree. This is how I am feeling. Really want to give a man a blow job,
My wife caught me with a cock in my mouth now she wants me to announce it publicly that I am a cocksucker. She now has photos and is going to post them around town. I dont know what to do.
You totally love this, admit it.
I love your perspective and analysis to back it up! I’m married to a woman and love going down on her. I’m visually only attracted to women, but I’ve enjoyed suck cocks over the years. Can’t explain it except to say I just enjoy the difference of having this hot and hard thing in my mouth as compared to a soft juicy pussy. Women do excrete fluid when they orgasm, but the man’s ejaculation is something totally unique and pleasurable because of how it pulses out and the warm creamy texture. It’s just fun! I haven’t even needed reciprocation, it’s just the giving and the whole experience that’s off the charts enjoyable!
The first time I sucked another man’s cock I was hooked. The feeling of a hard cock in my mouth was so erotic. Watching, listening and feeling his arousal made me feel so good. Then when he jerked and moaned and I felt his warm cum fill my mouth I knew I had dome something good and important.
I also like intense cock and ball torture and pain. Not sure what that says about me. What do you think?
It says you are a submissive guy who enjoys having some fun. Nothing more, nothing less.
When I was 32 my GF started making me suck cock, she got me ready for it by having me suck her strap on and making me eat my own cum. I was a little nervous the first time, I was looking at this 8 inch cock and she was watching, I just took it in my mouth, sucked until he came and swallowed and I liked doing it, I sucked that guy off about 100 times, 20 years later I still do it, have a man I see regularly, still like women too, nothing wrong with sucking a cock.
I be thinking on sucking my first cock ,I finally just brought up to a guy he said try I said he said u can suck me so he was 10 inch fat white cock shaved groomed bald after sucking on him and those balls 30 minutes later he exploded in my mouth I swallowed and I was hooked , It’s more enjoyable and better than pussy I love cock and I never quit sucking cock ,
Sounds like my fantasy.