Financial Domination comes from a deep need for a loss of control. Financial Domination can be played in a myriad of ways but the main idea is a dominant woman seductively or harshly manipulating money from a submissive male.
For the submissive the idea of having a woman take money from him or manipulate him into a state of wanting to give money to her is incredibly erotic. In some cases the submissive male even dreams of complete financial ruination. This is extreme but has been done by many femme dommes in the past. Usually Financial Domination just involves the taking or giving of money either on a scheduled basis, through coercion or blackmail, or just out of an intense need to give.
Now for those of you who are reading this thinking, ‘you’d have to be nuts to get off on that,’ let me remind you that everyone has their own erotic fantasies however if you’ve ever taken a woman on a date, you’ve been financially dominated. If you’ve ever been screwed over in a divorce, you’ve been financially dominated. So don’t be too quick to judge. For some it’s painful, for others it’s very hot.
This is another fetish that has an underlying current of humiliation as well, but again it depends on the individual. To hear a woman laughing and telling you what a sucker you are can be very arousing.
Financial Domination can be done by phone, mail, live sessions or just about any way that’s imaginable. Being a Sugar Daddy is a more controlled form of Financial Domination but usually involved sex. The true fetish doesn’t involve sex at all because the dominant female wouldn’t dream of having sex with an unworthy submissive. The fact that he’s giving to her is simply because he feels that he isn’t worthy of the money but she, being more powerful and beautiful, should be made to enjoy her life with his money but without any tangible benefit to him. The mere fact that he has given the money is the benefit to him.
I use this metaphor a lot when I’m describing the feelings of the submissive in Financial Domination. When you go to a Christian church there is a time in the service where the plate is passed around and every one gives money to help keep the church running. No one there expects anything from that offering. They certainly don’t expect the pastor to get down and say blow the congregation in gratitude. (Lol that’s probably a whole other fetish.) No, in fact you give because you WANT to, you want to make sure your church is there for you next week, that the pastor can eat for the week and the bills can be paid. It’s the exact same thing with submissive men. If it’s done correctly they look at the woman as a goddess, a deity. To offer up money to their goddess is just the right thing to do. Her life is ALL that matters. As a submissive male you want to eat, sleep and breathe this woman. She IS your religion.
I think financial domination is risky for the domme as well. Can’t you get in trouble with the IRS?
Can’t you get in trouble with paypal and alertpay? Niteflirt mentions needing your SSN for certain things and imagine if they got hacked and all of your info got out.
I don’t think being a findomme is fun and games, it really is a job and a job with risks.
Do dommes use their real names for paypal accounts and alertpay accounts? Don’t those names show up in their transactions? I don’t think you’re allowed to use aliases on those sites.
In my minds eye, I see this Financial Domination as a scam. Why on Earth are ppl out to destroy a submissive by taking all their money and forcing them into bancruptcy?? Why are they destroying their family life by not paying their bills? by not paying for their childrens needs? and by not paying for their own needs?
Being a good Dominant isnt about taking all that you can from your submissive, its about teaching and helping them to grow. At first when I looked at Financial Domination, I thought the sub was giving money to the Dominant, and that Dominant would be setting that subs money aside and helping them LEARN how to spend it, save it etc. But, instead, they are taking this subs money and NOT returning it? In any relationship whether its vanilla or bdsm related everyone is getting what they need in this, if these men are complaining about not having money for their needs in real life such as bills and filing bancruptcy, then in TRUTH, these subs did NOT get what they needed. In TRUTH they got scammed.
Its no wonder, suicide is up, and that these men are depressed as they are. Its no wonder that men dont have respect for ANY women let alone a Domme. Its no wonder that ppl leave this lifestyle because there are just soooooo many fakers, losers and abusers in this.
To all the men in this thread, if you want Financial Domination find a Bank that has a Financial Aid to help you budget your money so that you arent falling into bancruptcy and so that you will have money to pay your bills and your childrens future.
This BS of a fin domme is like a Casino, its gonna be a gamble, will you be a winner or a loser? Will you wake up and say, gambling isnt the thing and neither is Financial Domination. In all reality this Financial Domination isnt about Dominating anyones financial needs, but its about Dominating their mind. And once the smoke clears and the subs see more clearly what IS REALLY going on, and that truly their needs ARENT being met. They will wise up and this so called fetish will be no more!
Family should always be first, and if you spending your every dollar on a fin domme, then you sure as hell didnt put your family first and that fin domme doesnt have your best interest at heart but only her selfish own needs!!
Have fun & play safe.
gypsy
You make a lot of very valid points Gypsy but you’re not looking at it clearly. The guys who enjoy being blackmailed are doing it because they get off on it. It’s a sexual thrill. They’re not being scammed because they know full well what they’re getting in to. It’s not all smoke and mirrors, these girls make no bones about what they do. It’s not like these guys just meekly go to some Domina and said “Hi I want to be your friend,” these guys are begging these girls to do this to them. Is there an issue there, YEAH probably. Should they put their families first, they should but they rarely do. And what you have to understand is that if it wasn’t this addiction it would be another one.
Is the Domme going to put herself first, damn right. But these guys wouldn’t have it any other way. They want the brutality, they want the mind games. And you’re right it IS just like a Casino but look at the popularity of gambling. What you have to remember is, we are all adults and we all have choices and if you play with fire you will get burned eventually. But never, ever think these guys don’t know what they’re doing and that they’re being preyed upon.
Dr Sue,
Then these men really DO NEED some professional therapy from a real Dr. If this is an addiction then maybe they need to see a true therapist and NOT a Financial Domme for help in this. If you take a man that is married with children and all he is doing is spending his every penny he makes on his Domme and not his family its just plain wrong (just like with gambling or any other addiction out there), sexual thrill or not. Find a newer, safer and healthier way to get off, so to speak.
If one is a financial Domme, then why not get the money from the submissive only to give it back to them, when times in their life are hard and they cant pay their bills. For Gods sake you cant tell me that as a Domme that you would enjoy knowing that a sub had filed bancruptcy because he gave his every penny to you, or that he lost his home for non payment or even worse, that they committed suicide. I seen the comparison to giving money at the church and giving money to a Domme, sorry but there isnt a comparison there. At least in the church if you give money on the plate that gets past around, it DOES come back to you if you needed it from the church.
Let me ask ya this, as a financial Domme just what are you doing with the money these men give you? Do you spend it on YOUR needs, not theirs? Just what is this financial domination teaching the submissives in the long run? To be used til theres no tomorrow? Yes a submissive is for use to make the Dom/mes life easier, but when the Domme is only thinking of themself and NOT the submissives needs by making sure all their bills are paid, that they arent gonna lose their house and that their children are taken care of is more than selfish its abuse of power given to you by the submissive.
There are many fetishes out there, that I for one, have no understanding to WHY ppl would want to do that. And heres the thing, if its SAFE, SANE and CONSENSUAL then its fair game. Is it truly safe, sane and consensual to take hard earned money from these men cuz they are looking for a sexual thrill?? In my opinion there are some fetishes that arent any of these things and shouldnt be practiced but rather to help find them a better and safer, even more saner outlet.
“Money is the root of all evil” as they have always said, and “money isnt everything”. To have a sub at your feet willing to do anything for you IS everything. Why abuse such power and play with fire only to get burned? This fetish will come and go, cuz as I said, once they do see the truth about all this it will be no more, as you said if it wasnt THIS addiction to giving money to a Domme it would be another addiction, such as what, getting a spanking? At least getting a spanking isnt causing you to go bancrupt. Id say stop giving money to any Financial Domme, what are you REALLY getting for your money?? Just masterbation, a VERY cheap thrill thats costing you LOADS of money!! Save and spend your money more wisely and get your ass spanked once in awhile, find a more healthier addiction involving bdsm and you will feel all the more better knowing that you have money to pay your bills.
Have fun & Play safe!
gypsy
gypsy, as Dr Sue says you’re thinking rationally which is very good. But when you’re in the arousal state, there is no rational thinking any more. I have never engaged in an actual financial domination transaction. I have pretended to a few times only to need to tell the truth when I couldn’t proceed. However, I can see how this can be fun and very arousing for the guy. I have have fantasized about it a lot but my inner conscience won’t let me pay anyone like this. I consider myself very fortunate in this case. I go to a few websites to look at live models with the financial domination fantasy and play it out. In my fantasy I want to give the woman all my money and be bankrupt. I totally agree with you that families and close loved ones should come first. Then I see people in power do STUPID things like send photos of themselves to other women while married and expecting a child and lose their jobs and possibly their marriage and respect of others. Weiner, Letterman, Spitzer, Clinton, Tiger and countless others and cheated. I am not condoning their actions. But what the heck is wrong with these guys who think they have lots of power and have a need to give it up to a gorgeous woman who will provide for a fantasy they have. I would like to understand this as this seems to be the base for all the politicians and famous people to cheat and engage in activities that are harmful to themselves and their loved ones. I don’t think money is the root of all evil. I think the hormones that ignite these feelings are the root of all evil as men and women can’t seem to control it at times.
Can’t say guns are evil. A gun by itself can’t do harm. But put an angry person with the gun, the person maybe ok most of the time, but the anger at that moment can pull the trigger and do all kinds of evil.
Thank you niceguy for saying this all so eloquently. We need to learn to mind out own business as well. Take care of what’s in your own backyard. So in gypsy’s case I would say if that isn’t the Domina you want to be then don’t be that type of Domina. But you can’t damn others for what they do. And as I’ve said before, no one is putting a gun to anyone’s head here. When a crack addict takes that first puff it’s their decision. Most know the consequences, some don’t. And as the War on Drugs is clearly not working because a war on anything never works, it’s proof positive that it’s none of anyone’s business. Just be happy that you didn’t take that first puff. If your neighbor plants a flower that you hate do you go over to their house and chastise them and pull the plant out? No. That would probably land you in county with harassment charges. As long as YOUR yard looks good to YOU, and makes YOU happy. Let it go. Mind your business.
Gypsy i’m going to be honest with you, I think you’re wrong.
I think that Findom within boundaries is good. The man (or woman) has to discuss their boundaries. Now if they are ashamed of it it is easy to blackmail them.
But as for me, I developed an apreciation for myself as a giver. And the feeling is like an orgasm that lasts for days and can return with just the memory of giving. I was truly a weak individual and while a good person and yes handsome , had low self esteem and was depressed. Giving tomy first Domina made me feel strong and Masculine. I didn’t feel like a little boy any more. And women now turn their heads at me. I’m 34 I walked by a group of 19 years old and they followed me then a I looked back and smiled and walked away. I overheard the leader of the group tell one of the other girls “Oh he would never be interested in me”
My point is that Dominas are helping people. 13 years of self loathing and Findom did what nothing else could. As for returning money? Holding it for them?
That would simply be a bank and a budgeting course.
The risk is high, if you think it is wrong then why are you doing it. And while the initial discomfort of being outed would bother me, I would not be ashamed. But its sexier in a discreet way. And almost every day I hint at it. I have my Mistress (Cami Fine) on my phone and when asked who she is I wink and say “oh lets just say I’m her good boy.” It’s nice to be honest.
Blackmail can exist only when the blackmail victim has done something bad. Like violating marriage vows.
Making guys bankrupt and poor? Trust me this was not Findom it would have been something else crack or whatever.
I’m not loser or pathetic, I’m a man who loves to give To his Mistress. I love making sure a woman enjoys life. I like to make a girl smile. I love Mistress Cami Fine and I think that Findom is great. It’s a comitment. I’m not married or engaged and when I am I will end this, but I set that up beforehand. And she won’t just be sent away.
I bet most guys who are blackmailed (not includein those who like the threat and its power tether) just want to leave and drop you right Dr. Sue?
I bet if they were nice and talked and gave you a really nice parting gift and said they would slowly decrease the schedule and treated you with respect and allowed you time for a new Sub might get better treatment. Right Dr.Sue? But those men don’t cheat on their wives you see. So no Dr. Sue. Blackmail is the safety net. It caches both those Subs who would HATE themselves if they broke away and it protects the Domina. After all it’s just insurance. Pay the premium LOL
Nice try, Cami Fine.
Oh no Cami was simply agressive, I need a more seductive and skilled Domina someone who understands the term of a contract.
She never agreed to the contract and DEMANDED money when it had been agreed to hinting and seduction. I GIFT to my domina.
I pay her her stipend. GIFTS she will get, but as a surprise and I have to get along with her too. So no I am not Cami. She is good though not for me.
She is playing the B-ch for her other subs so that is ok. I was not amused with her
I need a Special interactive Domina.( Nathan Goodboy on Facebook) so no Cami does not have the skills in what I need. Also she is 7 hour time difference.
Unfortunately some men won’t realize they are being preyed upon until it is too late. i agree 100% with gypsy’s original post. Financial Domination is not a healthy fetish in any form. Hell, it could, depending on circumstances, be worse than necrophilia/bestiality, as far damage that can be done not only to the person living it out, but also loved ones, family members who depend on him, etc.
There are more FinDommes on the net today than ever before, and their numbers continue to grow quickly. The reason being: it is the easiest thing in the world to transact money online. And since this is the fetish of money, then it stands to reason that this is the ONLY fetish that lends itself to fakes and scammers. There’s livelihoods and profits involved, overhead, expenses etc. It’s run like a business, with some Dommes it’s all about how many subs can i get to tribute me in one day? Things like that. Of course i’m not saying they are ALL like that, but what i am saying is that it’s becoming more and more difficult to distinguish between the Dommes are not “FinDommes” and the Dommes who are.
i am an addicted money slave, and have had to go to therapy for it before. I was sucked right back into it, I saw some women had questions about how to get into it and I would be glad to share my experiences.
Wow!! This is all, um……very interesting……
During a call with Dr. Sue, i hesitated to reveal secrets. My concern was that even exploring thoughts of Financial Domination could or would lead to my ruin. Dr Sue assured me that was silly. If she wanted to ruin me (i believe her exact words were: “Turn over every last dollar”) she said she was quite capable of doing so whether i revealed my secrets or not.
And… what’s your point James?
Just an observation….maybe a bit if a warning….by the time someone realizes how deep they are in….it’s probably too late
James you should try to not think of a powerful woman whenever that happens.
Ar ar ar…
Your a fukking undercover pay pig embrace it!
And towards “LadyShine”; you’re an arrogant moron with a lack of grammatical insight.
B”H
Its fun men SHOULD make sure women are treated well and its holy.
I emrace it.
@ Satanic Thoughts I bet you’ve payed out and just can’t handle a strong woman. Oh you can insult her, but that’s weakness. She is playing a role and you were seduced into yelling at her. But she might have been doing it to build him up. I am an ATM or Moneyslave (don’t like the term piggy but whatever, I am a pet a good boy, I can make her smile with me. I can laugh at myself I accept my body (I used to be fat like you but findom made me 180) 1000-1200 calories, I know your type. you are a hurter of women, you give over your money not out of love but to justify hurting HER. A payment for the right to hurt others.
BTW ladyshine probably sent him into orgasm by saying that. And she knew that. We don’t hurt each other we love each other. The bond is hard to break because its real. But it requires not payment but investment a real bond. She is a lover/wife/sister/mother/teacher all roled up into one. She loves us hates us and smiles at us and while she might not fuck us, she takes us there. Now that as a sub I’ve Domed you let me tell you something, You’re not enough of a man to suceed at findom. But you could be. Let it go man Let the anger go. Love her and she will burn like flame, taste like candy, and with her you will be a man. Look deper than just the words on Utube understand the role. know the thought. It’s like chess and everyone wins.
Those here asking where to find subs or how to do it. Is just silly.
I believe only true Dominant women, meaning you enjoy the power exchange, should join the scene. If you are not interested and are only seeking a “quick buck” you will fail miserably. It is easy to spot the fakes.
If you are truly interested in it, it isn’t hard to be a success and find where to go to start gaining submissives. I believe as a Dominant woman you should be intelligent enough to do so on your own, without having to seek where to go from others.
I have been in this scene for almost 8 years now and am very successful in it. With that sad, those that do their own research on this lifestyle, and put in the work succeed the most. Not those that just expect to say “you’re a loser so pay me now” and get money thrown at them. And this is a fact, from what I have seen over the years.
you seem very successful and pretty. that’s a long time and i can tell you enjoy what you do. how long did it take you to become successful.
Dear Sue.
I recently learned about financial domination and am very interested in learning more. The thought of receiving money and/or gifts from men who can never be with me, only masturbate to the thought of me, turns me on tremendously.
I am, as mentioned, very interested in learning more and doing this the right way, as I realize it’s (ironically) not about money but rather domination and submission. I want to do it right and be prepared before I delve into the world of fin. domination, but there is no doubt that I will at some point in the near future. Can you (or anyone else?) hook me up with articles, boards, etc. where I can learn from other dommes and subs?
Thank you in advance,
C.
Well C, you’re in luck I’m in the process of writing a book on this very subject, I’ll let you know when it’s done. In the meantime if any of the girls knows of or has a good forum or blog on the subject, feel free to post it here.
wow, quite the backslide ive had,, thinking about quitting again for real this time!
Okay Toby you do that….LOL! What did I say, no whining. Just enjoy the backslide and the extreme wallet raping you obviously just experienced.
no i think this time i will quit,, im not really whinning just got slaughtered last couple weeks and i cant keep it up!! Funny thing is the backslide was with a Goddess from here!!
EXCELLENT!! Where’s my cut for hooking you up? 🙂
hi there Dr. are you serious a fee? LOL, they should have to pay that! Anyways ive quit for good this time and it was a good time the bacjslide but cant keep this up!!
Just enjoy it Toby!… If I could I would give Dr.Sue all my money
See now that’s a good boy David! And you don’t have to give it all to me, just most. 😉
I just wrote a Toby update for those of you who care, LOL, here’s the post.
i cant beat this,,,its everyday the same thing,,just going with the flow!!
Hello Dr. Sue, thank You for the call the other day, Your insight was great, i tried to change my behaviour and after two days i broke down before work in the morning, and ended up stroking and paying till after lunch, then i called in sick friday. i didnt get slarughtered and i did control myself a bit, as i was broke, pay day not for a while. its sunday now and im going to regroup and get back on track this week!
hoping december 1st ill be quit!
I quit being a fin. sub. The shame was too much. I still will look at site like this-which is just excellent, but i gained control.
hi Dr Sue, well ive taken everyones advice and i decided i wont be quitting money slavery after all! its the only thing im really good at and i get alot of attention from girls!
Okay Toby but remember, as of making this decision you can’t whine or complain, if you do you’re missing the point. Just sit back relax and enjoy the ride.
yeah i am enjoying it alright, no more whining just indulging,, best thing ive done is to just let go!! this review page has been very helpful!!!
hi there toby back again, well i have tried and failed to quit again, and i always find the backslide i binge and binge more than usual, maybe quitting is impossible? does anyone know of any mone slaves who have quit?
Yes Toby, there are many who quit. It depends on the relationship you have with your domme as to whether she’ll let you go though. But if you’re referring to men who have had the will power to just walk away from it? It’s been my experience that because this becomes a part of who you are, you can run but you cannot hide. In some ways it’s like a alcoholic, you’re never not an alcoholic, it doesn’t just disappear. You’re a recovering money slave the craving never goes away. It’s whether or not you have the balls to stay away, and only you can answer that.
Hi Dr. Sue thank you for the reply, i see what you mean.
That being said are there different levels of money slavery and different levels of being aloser? i know some money slaves who have wife kids and lives then i look at me, ten years doing this since i was 18, and whole life revolves round it, at work thinking about the stroke session when im home, when home session always goes for longer then i expect etc, browsing site after site etc etc
i geel like ive bene turned into what i am today,anyone know?
Different levels? Not necessarily. A money slave is a money slave. Just like anything else there are those that dabble and those that jump in with both feet. You obviously did the second. The problem that I see is that you’re making yourself out to be a victim and you can’t do that. As Miss Lauren Rules said, no one is putting a gun to your head. No one is making you call or email or find the perfect Financial Domme. So to say you’ve been ‘turned in’ to what you are is really not taking responsibility for your own actions. Although this is a psychological addiction, it’s not a physical one. If you’re that upset about how you live your life, then make the necessary changes.
BH
I just saw your post on Jews No offense to Jews shame on you Sue.
The difference in the Jewish community is that while the Jewish Lawyer/Accountant/Mentality is there the girls marry their boyfriends. Divorce rate between Jews is 15% and it is not steling if he is your husband. There is blackmail or calling the wives, parents, girlfriends.
There is no shame in demanding that your husband is extra nice for the same.
And marriage is not findom.
For someone who asks to be accepted and not stereotyped with prostitutes you stereotype others. Or at the very least propogate Racist views. I have no doubt you will not post this, but make no doubt about it marriage is equal property and findom is actually manipulation by the Domme (who is really more dependent on her subs than the subs are on her) so let’s be honest people are into submission because they have too much control over themselves and feel the need to share it. Dominants need the power to be given to them.
But Marriage is equality. As a “professional” you should know this.
Of course I’ll post it Nathan why wouldn’t I? Everyone has a right to their opinion and I love that you disagree with me. However I think you’re looking at things through rose colored glasses. Marriage SHOULD be equal but rarely is. And out of all my Jewish relatives, and I have many, the marriage is definitely run by the woman. I’m the least racist and most tolerant person around so I was hardly propagating racism, just stating it as I see it. It’s all my opinion as I say quite often. Which is why I like it when you disagree rather than walk around like most…as a sheep with no mind of your own.
BH
Ok so I hold you higher. But Marriage in the Traditional Jewish home is not run by the woman The roles a re different than in the gentile world.
Women are supposed to be strong and sex is the domain of the Jewsih woman because sex is required only once a month. A man may not force sex on his wife in and Most Jews are very observant in the bedroom. The mentality in Judaism is that the man is the giver and the woman is the objective mind. While most other cultures view the woman as property or at best a caretaker, the Jewish view is that sexually woman are dominant and BUILD their husbands on a partnership level Women seem to run the marriage by outsiders because of the unfamiliarity with Jewish marriage.
we should talk toby lol
what do you mean? You know of someone who quit? You can help etc?
Good Lord Toby are you that naive that you can’t see a predator when she’s salivating right in front of you? LOL I’m beginning to see why you’re in the boat you’re in. I’m sure Goddess Jamine is more than happy to help you get over your problem.
im not naive, i understand that she maybe a Goddess, but she may be willing to offer advice is all. I never heard of Goddess Jamine before!
What does logic dictate though…
it dictates that quitting is difficult and that i need to really work hard at this
And doing so by trolling Financial Domination websites and thinking that Financial Dommes are there to help you quit tells me that you’re not trying very hard. I don’t think you really want to quit yet. Just as I said to you previously.
your right trolling these sites is not good, maybe Your right, maybe ill never quit, guess im always remembering back before i was a money slave when i was cool etc, guess never thought id be here, guess the attention is too good,obviously i get none in rela life but when i log on to yahoo, always get messaged etc
But you can get in to a cycle of anti-social behavior and become a recluse such as what you’re describing. As such you’re not going to be cool and meet new 3 dimensional people if you continue to live in this little world you’ve created for yourself. You’ll be ready the day you take responsibility for your actions and move on. Do you think that you can only get a woman’s attention if you pay her?
well i wont lie i really know nothing about women except like online etc, guess i fell to deep into this,lol,so i think ill take your advice and really put evertything into quitting this time around and make it stick this time
Toby,
A colleague of mine who is deep in to Financial Domination, not as a Domme but as a slave said the following about your predicament:
(No offense intended to my Jewish girlfriends.) But what he says has merit Toby.