Yes there is a difference and in light of some of the most disgusting behavior I’ve seen in a while between not only Dommes but Dommes and subs I am putting my two cents in here for what it’s worth. Even I’m not stupid enough to think my opinion will change the way things have become in the online world of D & s, but if I can just get one of you ladies to ‘think’ before you jump, I’ll be happy.
So what am I going on about? The really abusive and bullying behavior between Dommes and not just Dommes vs. Dommes but Dommes vs. subs. I’ll get to the Domme vs. sub thing in a bit. Right now I want to address Domme vs. Domme. I’m not going to name names in this article. Yes I could give you a huge amount of ‘evidence’ but I won’t because you can see it everywhere. And you bitches know who I’m referring to most of the time anyway. Besides I WILL NOT give any of you acting this way the publicity you seek.
Here’s the deal. When I see a woman who professes herself to be a Domme and then she goes out and attacks another Domme for no reason I have to say, YOU A
RE NO DOMME! A true Domme is not only supportive of other women in the business but women in general. A true Domme doesn’t choose sides between women in porn, women who are housewives, or women in BDSM. They RESPECT every single woman until that woman proves she doesn’t deserve the respect, and unfortunately there are MANY of you ladies out there who are not only NOT LADIES you are certainly no Domme.
There are many reasons why you bitches do this sort of thing from a psychological stand-point the least of which is insecurity. What I find comical about all this negative behavior is that when you go to such lengths as creating videos against another Domme, think of the time you’ve just wasted. If you would spend half as much time promoting yourself and your business think of the success you’d have. I mean really, are you fucking kidding me? If you have so much time on your hands that you can spend that time stalking someone, picking out what you don’t like about her, then CREATING A FUCKING VIDEO about it then you are failing miserably in business and that video says more about you than about the Domme you’re talking about.
Sure it might gain you a hot five minutes of notoriety while everyone is talking about what a bitch you are but what you don’t get is that YOU look ridiculous not the Domme you’re bitching about. It tells the world the following:
- You have way too much time on your hands which translates in to you not working, therefore you’re not making money, therefore you’re not successful as a Domme.
- You are not dominant at all, in fact you’ve just portrayed yourself to be very insecure and childish AND it shows your weakness.
- And despite what you may think you will NOT gain viable submissives this way. Keyword being ‘viable’.
So is this the image you want to portray?
Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t keep an eye on your competition, you should, but not in a negative attacking way, in a BUSINESS way. Too many of you ladies think when you get in this business, “Hey I can be a bitch, I can degrade men, I can wield a whip therefore I can be a Domme.” WRONG! None of this makes you a true Dominant woman. Those things are tools, that’s it, not qualifications. I’ll make it easy for you…
Are you a Domme…
- If you post pics of your snatch or you getting fucked? NO! You might, and I’m really stretching here, MIGHT be a cuckoldress but that’s really giving you too much rope to hang yourself with. True Dominant women do NOT give away the farm. Blatant pics of your nasty cooze or dick up your twat makes you a porn actress not a Domme. Pick one.
- If you own a whip? NO! Just cause you own one or know how to use it doesn’t make you a Domme. Most of BDSM, D & s and fetish in general is the use of the mind. This is what distinguishes a woman with a whip from a Domme. Intelligence is the most important tool a Domme can have. I’m not seeing a lot of that right now.
- If you create video’s of you doing drugs? NO! Now I’m not talking weed here. I’m talking snorting lines of some substance or getting hammered on booze and then your viewer gets to watch. THAT SHOWS WEAKNESS!! You’re a bitch to a drug. Even the girls who put themselves out there as 420 Dommes don’t do that shit. YOU ARE NOT A DOMME!
I could keep going but it really is common sense here. Why I find this behavior disgusting and sad is two fold, one obviously, you look bad and you make the scene look bad. However the more important part here that I’m sure you won’t understand is that many long-time, seasoned Dommes who have been in this scene longer than you’ve been alive are thinking of leaving the business. Now I know you little moronic cunts will think, “cool, who cares, more for the rest of us, let the old bags retire,” which again shows your intelligence level by the way. But I find it very sad that these truly dominant women are considering leaving, not because they want to necessarily, but because they’re sickened by the way the whole industry is being ripped apart and diluted by this kind of behavior and they are now ashamed of saying they’re Dommes because they don’t want to be associated with this repulsiveness. So instead of using your heads and learning from the really good Dommes you decide to slap a “Hello My Name is Alleged Dominant Bitch,” sticker on your chest and THINK you know it all. YOU KNOW NOTHING of this business. You know nothing of what it takes to be a REAL DOMME. Which is why you look so intensely stupid when you pull the, “she’s a fake Domme,” bullshit. YOU’RE THE FAKE!
Now on the subject of Dommes picking on subs. Those of you who are lacking intelligence will think, “you can’t pick on sub, that’s what they want.” Every single submissive is different. Combine that with picking on someone for events that transpired months ago and YOU look like a moron again.
I will never understand why you girls think that being a bitch = being Dominant. IT DOESN’T! Being a bitch just because you’re bored or feel 
like ranting makes you an idiot and don’t think people don’t notice. If you want to rant, go ahead, go nuts but don’t pick on someone just to make yourself feel better when you don’t know them, don’t understand them, or just plain don’t own them. Shut the fuck up.
This all goes back to me always saying, “MIND YOUR BUSINESS.” If it has nothing to do with you, shut up. If a sub has wronged another Domme, it’s that’s Domme’s issue, not yours unless you are asked to help. I’m not saying all subs are picked on, let’s face it there’s some pretty fucked up subs out there. They can be rude, disrespectful, lacking in loyalty and just plain not submissive. But again I urge you ladies to THINK before you react and learn to LET IT GO! If it doesn’t pertain to you directly, shut up unless you’re asked for help.
A truly smart person, male or female, never REACTS to anything they think PRO-ACTIVELY. Use your head not your emotions and remember this very important point, the chances of these people even being around for a very long time, whether they are Domme or sub is extremely minimal. Bitches and moronic subs are a flash in the pan. So choose what you’re going to spend your very valuable time, patience and effort on. Success is always the very BEST REVENGE so learn to MIND YOUR BUSINESS and ignore those who will try to tear you down cause they won’t be around long anyway. PLAY NICE!
Oh and for those of you ladies who think a Domme Sisterhood is stupid and impossible, I suggest you get used to asking, “would you like fries with that?”
For more on this subject you can listen to my show on Bullying in BDSM HERE.
Love this article there are a lot of bitches out there. I find this also when you as a business woman/Domme try yo do something for your females I find skullduggery emerges or rather than genuinely support what you are doing people try to trip you up. Where does this all come from? i am surprised at the behaviour of some of us females.
The worst ones are those that profess to be Dommes, Mistresses, Goddesses etc after a few months a joke..
As always, I fully agree with all that you have put forth regarding this ever increasing problem. However, I do feel that any sub who has been blatantly disrespectful to a domme should be put in his place. I don’t see this as a lack of control, but a responsibility of the dominant. To coddle and defend such behavior because a sub tosses out chump change, is simply irresponsible and inappropriate for a Domme. I’m sure there are those who disagree – there always is..lol. However, I do find that a lot of the newer ‘dommes’ do this – allow, and not discourage/teach/mentor disrespectful and all too rude subs simply because they don’t want to lose out on a bit of money.
Interesting take, Dr Sue! Cudos on putting bitches in their place (I’m just using your word to be consistent). I’ve encountered these types of Dommes too. They usually say things like “it’s all about me,” “you don’t matter,” “I don’t care about you because you’re just a loser.” They also tend to be quite young, like early 20’s but it’s not unheard of in older Dommes, either.
You’re right, they aren’t dominant. They’re bullies who don’t respect other people and probably don’t respect themselves either, which is why they come on so strong about being a queen or a goddess or some other exuberant title.
You do have to be careful in this bdsm world, especially subs, because it does make you more vulnerable to predators and bullies who think they can do and say whatever they want because they are dominant and you are submissive. We all need to play nice.