Articles

Clean up Duty

James writes:

I just wanted to get your thoughts on cleanup duty as it relates to cuckolds? I’m not saying anyone should be forced to, but I think in general that cucks that have a small penis should be eating semen produced by men with larger penises, either in-person immediately after ejaculation, or after that fact (such as a used condom being brought home, etc). But only from safe and trusted sources of course.

I have a 4.5″ penis, which according to your article is pretty small. It is a little above the 3-4″ range you gave for not being pleasurable to a woman, but I don’t think the half inch will make much difference. Also, one doesn’t necessarily need to have a wife or girlfriend to be a cuckold and even eat semen.

I actually have a female friend that I am not romantic with, but she and her husband know I’m submissive and have a small penis and so she occasionally teases me about that and also saves her husbands ejaculate from his 8 inch penis in her freezer in 2oz containers. When it is full (about 12-15 loads), she gives it to me to eat.

My thoughts on clean up duty. Well James, I, like you, think that if you want to eat a bull’s cum you go right ahead and do so. It’s up to the couple what they want to try.

However, I’ve found that most cuckold males, because they are submissive, will already want to perform clean up duty and eat cum. It’s part of being in the submissive state. Nothing better than sliding your tongue in to a yummy cream pie. Even worshipping a big cock is part of being in the submissve state.

So my thoughts are, if you like what you’re doing then go ahead and do it. You’re just lucky you have a couple to play with. Most men don’t. So enjoy!

What Penis Size Do Women Really Want?

Articles, Ask Dr Sue

Rick writes:

Dear Dr. Sue, I have just read your article on penis size and would like to know your thoughts on a recent study which found that the global average to be 5.2″ long using precise methodology rather than self reporting. The same study also found that women’s preferred average size for both one-night stands and long-term was approx. 6.3″ long / 4.8″ thick. Some observers have considered that those who come forward for tests are confident about their size as well, meaning that the real average amongst the general population could be lower. The reason I ask is that I have come across quite a few submissive cuckoldresses’ adult dating profiles who often request well-hung, VWE, 7″+ etc – so is this the size in reality they are looking for? When you look at further studies, men in excess of 7″+ are perhaps 1 in every 20, again based on data that might be generally skewed because of the subjects’ confidence in coming forward. Many thanks,

First of all Rick, the words ‘submissive cuckoldress’ to me are an oxymoron. The entire basis of cuckolding is that it is a female led relationship. But the more this catches on in the mainstream the more it’s becoming bastardized. I know that’s not your fault but just know that if you have it in your head that women take a backseat to the bull in the relationship then you have it backwards.

As for the issue with penis size. It has been my observation that most women want larger penises. They want to feel deeply penetrated. The problem is when you ask a woman what they want, they lie. They instinctively say, “Oh it’s not a problem. I don’t care how big he is.” That’s a knee jerk programmed reaction. When you press these women to choose between a 4″ and 8″ penis they always take the 8″. I showed this during my show on penis size. [Posted Below] You’ll hear when I push them past that automatic, “It’s not the size, it’s what you do with it,” reaction, that they want the bigger size.

But to be fair it does depend on the woman. Some women are frightened of big cocks. I find most ladies who are afraid of them have never had them or if they did the guy was too rough and didn’t know how to use the damn thing.

So will we ever find out what women really want? Not until we can get everyone to stop playing games and answer honestly.

Are Dominatrixes Sex Workers?

Articles, Dr Sue's Thoughts, Femme Domme

Irony; the use of words to convey a meaning that is opposite of its literal meaning, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.

A dominatrix walks in to a bar. No actually a dominatrix goes to Las Vegas to take advantage of the AVN Awards/Expo and subsequently the influx of horny men to do some sessions, which is a savvy business move. The same dominatrix then spends an inordinate amount of time on social media telling her ‘potential clients’ that if they attended or have anything to do with the aforementioned AVN Awards/Expo not to bring, well, their disgusting selves to her door. That does leave one scratching one’s head, doesn’t it Mr. Rufie, I mean Cosby?

Let’s get this straight for anyone out there who thinks they are better than anyone else period, but since we’re only dealing with this one issue for today we’ll narrow it down to the sex industry, if you think that you out rank someone based on what they do in this industry you’re a complete idiot.

This story of the judgmental domme brings to mind a time a few years ago when I was asked this fart in the wind question and I thought the entire subject had died a very foolish death but alas, who was I kidding? The question in question is, “Are dominatrixes sex workers?”

I sigh a lot these days. But this subject is yet another sigh worthy non-issue issue.

So in answer to the question, “Are dominatrixes sex workers?” Fuck yes.

Let’s make this crystal clear here:

If your purpose either for a living, as a side-line business, or as a hobby is to facilitate the sexual arousal of another human being AND you get money for that service…

…you ARE a sex worker!

Where’s Maury when I need him.

It doesn’t matter what you do for that money. Street hooker, stripper, dominatrix, porn actor/actress, escort, erotic massage therapist, erotic hypnotist, erotic writer, sex therapist, fetish model, erotic photographer, amateur clip producer, financial dominatrix, sex shop owner and any other obscure sexual service, if you receive money for what you do you are a sex worker. End of.

If the next argument that shoots through your mind is, “well I don’t have sex with my clients so I’m not a sex worker,” nice try. You do not have to have actual penetrative sex to be a sex worker and you need to re-read this over and over until it sinks in; “If your purpose either for a living, as a side-line business, or as a hobby is to facilitate the sexual arousal of another human being AND you get money for that service you ARE a sex worker.”

So now that we have that cleared up the idea that our uppity bitch domme thinks she is in any way above ANYONE participating in or having anything to do with the AVN weekend becomes even more ridiculous. But more so it shows shame in her game. Honey if you can’t say you’re a sex worker then you are in the wrong business and don’t think for one minute your social media behavior is in any way dominant because, it’s not.

Look, whether you like it or not we are all sex workers and as such, should be supporting one another not tearing each other down, trying to one-up each other or divide ourselves in to smaller groups with some fucked up hierarchy (except in D & s, I know don’t knit pick). And as I just said, if being a ‘sex worker’ leaves a bad taste in your mouth you need to re-think your decision to do whatever it is you happen to do.

We’re SUPPOSED to be the ones with the open minds, yet this community opted to use social media to launch a vicious attack on an adult film star to where she felt the need to kill herself over defending her right to choose who she filmed and thereby shared her body with.

Come on you guys we should be the ambassadors of how ‘it’s’ done. Show everyone how the sex industry supports each person in the industry regardless of what they do. I hate labels but society is always hell bent on using them so wear ‘sex worker’ with pride. I do. I’ve never been ashamed of what I do/did regardless of what it was. My tiny family knows what I do and supports it. My extended family judged me but I don’t associate with them so I don’t care what they think. Fuck you Tracee! They barely know me so judge away. Hell when I had my sex shop my 75 year old mother worked there. That sometimes freaked the customers out but that was half the fun.

Not one of you is better than the next, whether you have sex with your clients or not. So the long and the short of this deeply stupid issue is, GET OVER YOURSELVES. If you’ve sucked back so much of your own ego inflating PR Kool Aid that you think you out rank anyone, you need to sit the fuck down, shake you’re damn head and get a colonic because you’re so full of shit you need to be Roto Rooter-ed.

I’m all for confidence and pumping yourself up, we ALL need that. But when you over inflate yourself to the point of looking at anything else as garbage, you need to let some of the air out of your head. And I understand that when guys are telling you you’re amazing all day long it can go to your head. It can. This is why you need someone in your life to give you that smack in the face to remind you that you shit the same as everyone else and girl, yes it stinks.

Here let’s go all zen and think of it this way; if it breathes, it is not only viable but is also purpose driven the same as you and deserves respect until proven otherwise.

Translated; If you don’t have something nice to say, STFU.

Addicted to Giving

Articles, Ask Dr Sue

Rich writes:

Hello Dr. Sue, i guess this is more of a comment. I have always been amazed when a finsub will actually spend beyond his means while being the property of a Fndom. I mean even setting major bills aside just to tribute what his Mistress requires. For example at the end of 2016 while paying tribute to my Mistress with her demands, i was able to pay off my mastercard, i felt great. Now at the close of 2017 my credit card was back up to just over 11,000. I had even said to myself i wasn’t going to let that happen and it did.

You face what almost every single finsub faces – the addiction of giving.

Just like I wrote in, Why Do We Engage in Risky Behavior?, you become addicted to the dopamine rush you get each time you tribute. And, like any junkie, there will be times when you get yourself under control just like you did in 2016. You got your shit together and paid-off that card while maintaining your relationship and tribute levels to your Goddess. Well done! Like you said you were really proud of yourself and rightfully so.

But then one day on a whim you gave a bit more than you normally would because you knew the card was empty, (after all you don’t cancel a paid-off card that’s what ‘they’ teach you right?), so you think, “ah no big deal, there’s nothing on the card what harm could a few bucks be?” Your brain is jonesin for the dopamine rush so it’s nudging you on because it knows that there’s a pay-off with extra tributes. Extra tributes equal more Drain-High, (a term I coined about that intense arousal you experience each time you tribute; the more you’re drained the higher you get), and before you know it you’re pushing SEND on whatever payment platform you happen to be on and your dick is in your other hand and you’re wanking (if allowed) like a maniac because NOTHING feels this fucking good. Sound about right?

This goes on for a while and before you know it, just like you said, the once paid-off credit card is now back up to it’s limit and probably higher because your bank(s) would have enticed you a couple of times with limit increases. And here you sit, back in debt but the really weird part is, even that is turn-on on some level.

You are on the same hampster wheel as most humans on this planet. Whether it’s porn, BDSM, food, booze, drugs, shopping or whatever your particular vice happens to be, and we all have them in some way or another, it’s very easy to fall under addiction’s evil spell. And THAT is what your economy is based on. Consume.

What do they call you when you buy something? A consumer. We don’t even really give much thought to that word, that’s how programmed we are. Everything is based on the masses consuming goods. How do we do that? We create fear and continuous stress. Think about this past year as an example. Doesn’t matter what country in the world you live in you heard a continuous cacophony of Trump. And that creates stress whether you’re for him or against him, doesn’t matter. It’s been non-stop upheaval. Non-stop change. And humans HATE change, it makes us nervous and edgy; it makes us sick.

Notice your addictions creeping back in to your behavior this past year? Maybe you have been sober for several years and have started hearing, ‘what could one hurt?’ more lately. Sound familiar? This low-grade continous stress is what’s doing it. So now you wake up a year later and you’re back in debt going, “Wtf just happened? Everything was fine a minute ago.”

We all know everything is good in moderation but let’s face it if we could live life moderately no one would have any of these issues.

And I’d love to say that I have a magical pill that will cure you of your addiction issues but the reality is, there is no pill. It takes strength and determination to kick anything. It takes really wanting to change.

BOOM!

There’s the other one, why would you want to change this behavior when it feels so good? Sending that money or buying that gift feels like electricity going through you, nothing makes your dick harder. Wanting to change is the hardest one of all Dorothy. And all the heel clicking in the world won’t help you if you don’t want to.

But when you’re ready, you will. Unfortunately when it comes to pumping your system full of chemicals you don’t always hit, ready, before you slip home.

So where does this leave you Rich? Even though you didn’t ask, I’m going to tell you, cause, well, that’s me. You know how to reel yourself in because you’ve done it before. Just repeat that pattern. Realize that without you knowing it you’ve been under more stress than usual coming from sources beyond your control but now that you know about them you can do what you can to eliminate or diminish their effects on you by shutting off the news i.v. in whatever form(s) you get it in. Learn to meditate, it’s not fruity, it’s real. And think…moderation. Don’t chastise yourself. Don’t freak out and say you’re stopping findom forever. Just snap yourself further out of your coma and grab the reins again.

You need to go back to ‘conscious consuming.’ The past year you’ve been ‘unconscious consuming or zombified consuming,’ and banks love that. They sit there salivating with every dollar you put on credit. So give your head a shake, come out of the fog and go back to consciously consuming again. Consider it more like you wandered off-track and now you just need to wander back on it again. But you don’t spend your time, off-track beating yourself up for being off-track, it makes no sense and you stagnate. Now you’re not moving on either track you’re just standing there like an idiot yelling at yourself. Just stop that and simply own it, ‘I fucked up but I’m moving back on track.’ Done. Then give it no more thought.

We complicate and dramatize things. We throw the word addiction around a lot too and usually it’s not an addiction unless we see an issue like Rich’s where he’s gone in to heavy debt or if you start compromising other parts of your life; your job, your relationships, etc. Regardless of what type of addiction or craving you’re dealing with you have to begin with saying you’ll stop being so hard on yourself, you’re already under pressure, don’t make it worse for no reason. Get back on your track/path and watch what you’re doing. If you want to ask for help from your deity of choice, feel free to pray for strength, but know that you already have everything you need…you know what to do.

If you have a question or thought for Ask Dr Sue CLICK HERE

Kink Scams

Articles, Dr Sue's Thoughts

I thought I would provide a written version of the recent show I did on Kink Scams. What we discussed in that show is still being talked about today so I thought I’d bring the various topics to you here on The Review as well because they’re important. This is for those of you who still enjoy the written word.

I began noticing some of these trends about a year ago. It started with verification accounts. I saw those on Instagram when I was on there. [I’m not on Insta btw because I find that Instagram is a cesspool of guys wanting free pics to jerk off too, trolls who pull their peanuts purposefully telling women they aren’t good enough, and a sea of narcissism but then I don’t understand the obsession with taking pictures of your food either. I’m so uncool.]

But I digress; these males started Instagram accounts under the guise of being a verification service. Women would send in pics of themselves holding cardboard signs in various stages of dress or un-dress depending on the whim of the account holder. Picture after picture of beautiful but clearly not bright or very naïve women, holding signs like lost dogs or the homeless, would slide down their timeline or story or whatever the fuck it’s called. It was the most blatant misogynistic exploitation of women that I had ever seen.

Here’s the deal. You don’t have to verify yourself to ANYONE. Got that! Anyone. This whole, is she real, is she not real is such bullshit it’s frightening. If a bitch is breathing, she’s real. So verify my ass. It’s just another way for these scrotum sucking losers in mommy’s basement to get women to jump through their perverted hoops for their own amusement and gratification. In case I wasn’t clear, it made me sick.

So fast forward to present day, this is going on again on Twitter. When I see a woman holding a sign I want to reach through the screen, strangle her then grab verify boy by his nuts and slam them in to a humbler.

Ladies, please, the only thing you verify yourself to is any clip or phone sites your sign up for, payment processors, banks, and the occasional website you might join. But I caution that one because you need to check the reputation of the site. Don’t just join everything you see. Do your homework.

The point is, never think you have to verify yourself to anyone other than the LEGITIMATE businesses I just discussed; certainly no Poindexter with a social media account and a gym sock. Think before you put yourself out there. And if you’re doing domination work, holding a sign saying “I’m Mistress Mean Dog and I’m real @assholewithanaccount Jan 29, 2018,” is in no way dominant. It makes you look like a poodle in a circus standing on its hind legs on a ball.

Please, I beg you, think DIGNITY and stop this shit.

By-the-way I approached one of the guys who was running one of those verification accounts and asked him if he would do an interview with me on the show. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone that paranoid. He asked a million questions such as: “Do I get to see the questions first?” “How do I know you’re not going to skewer me?” “Do I have to be on camera?” “Can I have my voice changed?” and then the account closed and he disappeared. Imagine that.

The next sociological scourge is retweet pigs on Twitter. This has quite honestly become a Twitter virus. Something that may have even started as well-meaning at some point has become a plague of tweets covered in the pox of retweet accounts along with some picture du jour, tits, ass, pussy, legs, whatever the particular retweet account is in the market for, and don’t worry they’ll let you know.

In these retweet swine profiles you’ll see the names of various women’s twitter accounts. Some have foolishly paid for that placement. [insert deep breath] Le sigh. Others pay for retweets but only based on the guidelines of that particular retweet pig account.

Now here’s the irony. Look at the words Retweet Pig, (this moniker being chosen by these basement dwelling porkers). It’s clear this started as a way for submissive males who had no other skill or service to offer a domme; translated…broke ass bitch – could be of some use to women. So, as I said, it started well-meaning. But then some male decided to walk in a piss all over it. They started demanding that they would only retweet based on certain conditions, no pics with boyfriends, only [insert body part here] pics, etc. Correct me if I’m wrong but when the word demand entered in to the game, it ceased to be altruistic. Sorry gentlemen but time’s up.

If a submissive male is truly coming from the goodness of his weak little heart then he would be following YOU and RETWEETING YOU with you not having to @ him AT ALL! Re-read that sentence as many times as you have to – to get it through your head. If there is a demand of ANY KIND involved it ceases to be an act of submission and becomes just another male getting his PORN FOR FREE. I’m not saying they’re stupid, I’m saying they’re sleazy.

But here’s the other part to this scam and this part goes both ways. Both the females on Twitter and the males do this. They buy their followers. So now you think this retweet fool has all these followers when in fact they have nothing but a sea of bots and other women. Is that the audience you want to reach? This is marketing 101, who are their followers? That’s the point of influencer marketing. If you have a product like a tanning gel, do you want to market that tanning gel to Kim Kardashians’s followers, or to Grumpy Cat’s followers? Or worse, to the fake Kim Kardashian account that is filled with nothing but followers that are bots? Because the last one is what you’re paying for. You can buy Twitter followers for just $10.

And every time you @ these idiots in your tweets you push their account for them. YOU’RE ADVERTISING FOR THEM!! Your tweet goes to nothing but a giant pool of dead accounts and your competition. And the more audacious of these retweet retards actually have the nerve to charge for these services. Really? My eyes have been rolling so far back in my head, watching this go on that I look like a character in Beatlejuice.

Ladies you are being screwed with these retweet accounts and when you litter your tweet with nothing but retweet morons it makes you look like you’re begging. I’ll say it again; THEY should be doing this for YOU…WITHOUT you asking. No other excuse. A good dog awaits a command. It doesn’t look at you and say, “I don’t know…you’ve been getting my love and affection pretty cheap, I think you should maybe pay per pet. You know, every stroke of my soft fur that calms you so much, I’m thinkin’ 1.99 a stroke. Now really that’s a bargain considering how many you’ve had absolutely free so far.” Once you got over the initial shock of your dog speaking in a Jersey accent, you’d be like, yeah I don’t think so.

Servitude is not conditional.

Ah but my ladies, you’re also screwing everyone too. Oh my.

Remember when I mentioned buying followers? Yes, yes, there are many of you ladies who have done just that. You know who you are, I know who you are, naughty girls.

Here’s how to read accounts on Twitter.

Look at the number of followers compared to the number of accounts they are following. If the numbers look like this; account has 50 thousand followers and they only follow 300 people and they are not in any way a notable person, which means they have been verified by Twitter (there’s that verification thing again but in this case it would be okay) and would mean they have a little blue check mark next to their account, then they have bought their followers.

Another thing to look at; how many retweets and likes do their tweets and retweets get? If we use our account profile from before of 50 thousand followers who know you or of you and want to follow you, you could reasonably expect an average of 500 retweets or likes or 1%. If those high ass accounts are getting 5, 15, even 50 retweets or likes, they bought their followers.

How long have they been on Twitter? If they’ve been on several years and have under ten thousand and are not a notable person or have done anything viral then that’s a reasonable amount of followers. Now there’s other things you have to factor in of course such as, do they post nudes? That will always get more followers, duh. Do they post real time pictures of scenes or sessions? That will again, get more followers. But if it’s just selfies at the nail salon that get 15 retweets. BUSTED BITCH!!

Now understand I get it, I get it, you’ve had your account for a while and you’re followers stagnated and it gets frustrating so you think, “If I have more followers my business will pick up or take off,” yeah, no. It doesn’t change anything because the followers you bought are not engaged in anything you have to say. You wasted your money because everyone knows that follower numbers are now a sham. On top of that, check yourself, you’ve been sucked in to the social media vortex of neuron sucking evil, where your rational mind and common sense have been vacuumed from your brain leaving you feeling worthless unless, “EVERYBODY LOVES ME!!!!” Go get a paper bag and breathe in to it. It’s okay. We all get that way before we go…organic.

My point is, don’t get caught up in the appearance of a lot of followers whether you’re looking for a Domme to serve or a bitch to serve you. Follower numbers mean nothing. So when you see the profile saying RTpup 75k, it’s all bogus. Stop @-ing them, this bullshit will stop and they’ll be forced to find another way to exploit women.

My final scam is a trend in findom, more specifically blackmail. Seems as though the ladies now take to sending you child pornography at which point it’s on your computer, you’re then made to pay whatever amount to have it removed. Usually it’s not and more is put on the computer ensuring this continuous cycle of extortion. Using child pornography for anything is vile and I shouldn’t have to tell you illegal. You are not dominating you’re, as I said, extorting money and you’re playing a very dangerous game.

Associated with this is the practice of using Teamviewer to lock you out of your computer or using it to again plant child porn on your computer. You can’t take it to an IT to get it fixed, you can’t call the cops, you’re screwed – hard. If you’re really lucky she just drains your bank account and sells your personal info online.

Use your heads you fleabrains. You never give someone access to your computer if you don’t know them. You never play Teamviewer games with someone you haven’t known for a long time and certainly not with someone you’ve just contacted.

Stop dancing on a knife edge you have no business being on.

The long and the short of it is, use your brains. Common sense will not fail you if you choose to use it. All of this shit can be avoided if you just think before you act. And for the love of god stop paying these junior chickens to do what they should be doing for free. Ladies, you are worth more than what these pigs are doing to you. This is female exploitation at its finest and it needs to stop and the fastest way to shut it all down is to not partake in it.

Stop kink scams. Stop using the services.

Is Female Dominance a Sham?

Articles, Femme Domme

Pat, a long time contributor to The Review, always asks the most insightful questions and once again he’s hit on a really good subject; is female domination a sham? (And I’m never offended when you guys write your questions to me. There is no such thing as a bad question.)

So I have a question for you. Please don’t be offended as a dominant woman, but I have to ask…

Is female dominance a sham? It seems that there aren’t many w

omen who are truly dominant. Deep down they all want to be dominated by a man who is more dominant than

themselves. I see it on blogs, social media, and now Fetlife.

Women call themselves dominant and then say the will bow down for an alpha male or any male, it seems, with a huge cock. As a sub, this is rather disappointing. I actually lose some respect for her as a Domme when I hear that. It feels like she is pretending.

You don’t see this with dominant men. Unless they are stated switches, which few are, they don’t say they are dominant, “except for the right alpha female – I’ll be her bitch!” It doesn’t happen.

This will piss off the feminists but maybe women are simply the naturally submissive sex. They dominate men they see as weaker than themselves because they hold them in contempt for not being “real men.” But these women aren’t truly dominant. Cuckolding is based on this very attitude.

What’s the deal with closeted submissive, dominant women? Why don’t they just identify as submissive? It cheats any submissive man she gets involved with when he thinks he’s getting an alpha female. It’s so disappointing to find out the bold and brazing ice queen really just wants to find someone who can make her submit.

This is a BRILLIANT subject! Thank you, Pat, for asking.

I agree with all of Pat’s observations. Where the confusion comes in with the entire subject is, there is no such thing as a 100% dominant or submissive individual.

Sexuality in all its forms will always be a gray area simply because we are all so beautifully unique.

When it comes to domination and submission the same uniqueness applies. There is no person on this earth in physical form who is 100% dominant. Given the right circumstances and the right people, even the most dominant of humans will submit and vice versa.

As I’ve said many times, we do not fit into nice, neat little boxes with labels. Life would bemuch easier if we could do that but it would most certainly be incredibly dull.

Think of everything you are as being like a sound mixing board. Depending on the situation, the circumstances and people involved and your own mood you may have your slides dialed down to more submissive behavior or up to more dominant behavior.

Now I understand your disappointment Pat but no matter what the sexual situation, it’s all in your perspective.

Where this comes in to play quite often is in cuckolding.

For example, a couple decides to try out this type of lifestyle and they invite a ‘bull’ into their bedroom. In this situation you want your bull to be dominant and this allows a woman’s submissive side to be met with the bull. But the minute that sex act is over a dominant woman will return to being what she identifies as dominant. So she’s not going to say she’s submissive when she’s actually not. That’s why I try to make the distinction whenever I’m talking to someone about being SEXUALLY submissive. You may be dominant all day long but when it comes to sex you’re submissive.

In the case of cuckolding the submissive cuckold doesn’t look at his wife sexually submitting and getting properly fucked as a bad thing. He gets turned on by the fact that she’s submissive to this guy but not him. This is what I mean by perspective.

I have been cuckolding my boyfriend for over 20 years now. I have absolutely no contempt for submissive men at all. I would much rather spend my time with a submissive male than an alpha one. I don’t look down on my boyfriend because he enjoys watching me have sex with another man. It’s just his kink and I benefit from that kink. It’s a win-win.

I always tell women who want to get into Domination that if you hate men DON’T get into sex work. I think what you’ve been subject to are the women who hop into domination thinking they’ll make a quick buck, have no idea what they’re doing because they aren’t dominant and don’t bother to learn the craft. And there are a LOT of them.

Now, that said, if I were to pay a Domme either online or in real time and she was submissive or wanted to have sex with you, yeah I’d be pissed because I’m paying for a service. The problem with the internet is that although it connects us more to people who share our ideas, it also means that you’re subject to watered down information and services, some of which are wretched.

I beg to differ on your point about alpha males not submitting to alpha females. I’ve had many ‘alpha’ males beg to serve me. Like you said, it can be disappointing when I want that guy to be alpha and he collapses to his knees. But I don’t then say that all alpha males are full of shit because of a few that submit. Many alpha males are very dominant and bend to no one but it’s arrogant to say that you would never bend to anyone because you don’t know that for sure.

The argument that all women are submissive is again only partially true. I believe we still live in a Puritan society. We still raise our female children to be good little submissive girls and our boys to be big, strapping alpha males. But that said I’ve noticed this starting to change. More families are allowing their children to just be whoever they want to be without stereotyping them from the start. Women in their 20’s now are much more dominant and sure of themselves. Where you never used to hear of women enjoying one-night-stands, it’s now no big deal. So to be honest I think you’ll find more women being naturally dominant because they’re starting to break out of the stereotypical roles.

I understand your frustration Pat and you’re absolutely right. It CAN be very discouraging to want to experience an Ice Queen and you end up getting a snow flake but it really is all in how you look at it or at least frame it in your mind. So is female dominance a sham? Some of it will be yes, but a good sub can sniff out a real Domme/Dom and vice versa. You just have to sometimes go through some garbage to find a rare gem.

What are your thoughts? Is female dominance a sham? Sound off below.

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