The Dr Sue Review

Straight Talk on Twisted Subjects

You are here: Home / Archives for Articles

Articles

Does Being a Cuckold Make Me Less of a Man?

Articles, Cuckolding, Cuckolding

Mike writes:

“…Does it make me less of a man since I want to see my girlfriend take a big dick?”

The answer to that question is going to be totally relative to whomever you’re speaking to and trying to get an answer from.  Obviously if we gave that question to a fundamental Christian they would say you’re depraved and Satan has flown up your ass.  In the context of our kinky forum here on The Review I’d say, “Of course not!”

You boys tend to get caught up in this whole, ‘less of a man,’ thing.  At what point do you officially lose your manhood? Does it require a penectomy?  Or is it a decision brought down by THE BROHOOD at which point your Dude Card is officially revoked and it’s dresses for you from here on out.

The ‘less of a man’ issue is exactly the same as the ‘am I normal’ question, it’s all relative.  Some people somewhere on planet earth will say that you’re less of a man because you want to see your girlfriend take a big dick.  But do we care what they think?  And how do they even know you’re thinking about it? Have you been doing Facebook Ads to get her dick?  Unless you tell other people what you want to do with your woman behind closed doors they won’t even know therefore it’s not an issue.

We human units get way too caught up in what other people think when in fact most people are so caught up in their own lives they don’t have time to notice what’s going on in yours.

Now will your girlfriend think you’re less of a man if you tell her you want her to take a big dick?  That’s a crap shoot.  If you just sit down and tell her what you want chances are it’ll blow up in your face.  Odds are that she’ll over analyze the idea to death before it’s given a chance to be considered.  So you could come out of it looking like a little bitch in her eyes if you’re not careful.

That said there’s the humiliation of knowing that your girlfriend thinks you’re a little bitch and that turning you on.  So perhaps it’s not a bad thing if she thinks you’re a sissy if that’s what you’re going for.

In my opinion a man wanting to watch his woman get pleased by another man who is bigger than he is has nothing to do with his ‘manhood’ unless his dick fell off.   Are you at the same level as the big, cocked dude who’s fucking your girlfriend?  No.  But you don’t want to be.

The dorky meme to your right is all you really need to focus on.  The rest doesn’t matter.  If some guy who’s not involved in your relationship thinks you’re ‘girly’ because he finds out you like watching your woman take another guy’s much bigger cock, I can assure you, he ran home and jerked about the idea once he heard it from you.

I mean really what have we become when we are so fucking worried about how other people fornicate?  Let your woman take that big cock and you sit there like a good boy and enjoy every delicious minute of it and tell anyone who says it’s wrong to mind their business you’re too busy getting off to hear it.

 

The Shame of Submission

Articles, Featured, The Submissive Mind

So many of the gentlemen I speak with find themselves ashamed of their submissive feelings.  Pesky little feeling shame is.  It’s always there to kill any enjoyment we might be feeling.  So let’s start by looking at shame.

Shame comes from a belief that we are not fitting into a preconceived box.  It can stem from a belief that what we are doing is wrong because we don’t fit into a box we either didn’t create or one that we created that doesn’t serve us.  This is what is generating the rampant suicide we are dealing with right now.  People don’t feel like they fit into a box they didn’t create in the first place or they’re trying to fit in and aren’t accepted.

In the case of submissiveness, the most important thing to realize is that you aren’t 100% submissive. No one is.  We are all both dominant and submissive depending on a series of factors including, mood, circumstance etc.  Let’s say you are sexually submissive and now think your manhood is jeopardized.  Well, I can assure you that if I took you and put you in a situation where you had to save your child you wouldn’t be submissive.

I always tell guys who are in white collar jobs that the next time they’re in the boardroom I can guarantee that at least one guy sitting at that table is wearing panties and at least 2 more are wishing they were.  So would you call a CEO of a huge corporation, who spends his day making important decisions that will affect the lives of his employees as well as the consumers and is an alpha male all day long but then goes home and drops to his knees for his wife…weak?  No he’s a mix of domination and submission. And that same CEO who has the ability to come home and play off of his opposite side will be one of the most clear-headed, calm and focused men in that company.  It’s because he is able to express both sides of himself that he becomes balanced.  Compare him to the guy who beats himself up mentally all day because he has thoughts of sexual submission and then has to hit up his wife as an ‘alpha’ male because that’s what’s expected of him and you have an unhappy and stressed out guy on your hands.

One of the biggest issues we have as human beings is constantly trying to put everything into boxes with labels.  Labels are the bane of our existence. I understand the need for them from a language perspective. We need to differentiate to describe.  But we take them to crazy new personal levels that cause most of the ills of our life here on this planet.

For example, all religions think they have the answer and are the only true way to whatever salvation you’re looking for.  Sexuality is another label frenzy area, followed by gender.  And let’s not forget our good friend’s skin color and politics. But nothing is that black and white.  NOTHING.  No one is 100% hetero, 100% gay, 100% bi, 100% male, 100% female, 100% dominant, 100% submissive, 100% black, 100% white, 100% liberal, 100% conservative or any other thing you want to throw in there.

As a collective whole humanity is a delicious mix of souls. And if we break it down even more, each of us as individuals are a unique, yummy recipe that goes into that mix of souls.

Until we can get it through our heads that there is nothing BETTER THAN anything else and that nothing in this world is the same and that’s the whole point, we will continue to frustrate, belittle, bully and destroy each other.  None of us are the same. Not even identical twins.  Except for one thing, we are all human beings – flawed and beautifully individual.

The difference in all of us is why we’re here.  And that’s the cosmic joke being played on you right now if you have any kind of prejudiced thoughts.  If we had no difference we could not create.  And each one of us is an amazing creator.  We create by thinking, “I like that, but not that.”  We create by noticing difference and choosing what pleases us and focusing on it.  And what pleases me will not be what pleases you and that’s the whole point.  But we get caught up in looking at what ‘the other guy’ is creating and because it displeases us we think that we should stop ‘the other guy’ from what they’re doing when in fact it has no bearing on us and what we’re creating over here unless we focus on it.

Difference is the point, without it, we have nothing.

So stop trying to fit into these boxes created by someone else in THEIR vision and start really appreciating who you are in all your glorious diversity and then look around you at all the fantastic variations of things there are to appreciate or discard.  The choice is yours.  But don’t disparage the stuff you don’t like. Just don’t focus on it and it won’t be a part of your experience.

Put the shame away since it’s only you demeaning you and take with you the personal freedom of being who you are in this moment because this moment is all you have.  Don’t ruin it with guilt, fault, shame or blame.  Just be you in all of your individual glory, submission and all.

Sound off in the comments below:

Fifty Shades of Power – Confidence in Dominance

50 Shades of Power, Articles, Featured, For Ladies Only

When you begin to dip your toe in the waters of being sexually dominant it can feel really weird.  For some of us it can feel almost humiliating.  That’s a weird turn of events I know but when you don’t quite know what you’re doing or what’s expected of you it’s natural to feel like Bambi just learning to walk.  You’ll be skittish and paranoid because when it comes to your new-found role in the bedroom that’s exactly what you are, a baby fawn just learning to stand.  You’ll feel a bit wobbly but eventually you’ll be running through the forest of fetish like a badass doe.

You may have heard the phrase, “fake it til you make it,” and nothing could be truer when it comes to confidence.  Confidence is a state of mind.  Or better yet it’s a frame of mind.  It’s a state that you can get yourself in to. A feeling that you can conjure up whenever you need it.

There’s a reason why sports teams get together prior to a game or match and build themselves up verbally to a crescendo.  It builds confidence and energy.  And until you reach the point where you know that you are an amazing, sexy woman with an enormous amount of power you can fool yourself in to feeling it.

A belief is simply a thought that we think over and over again until it’s true to our own minds.  It doesn’t make it factually true but we believe it is.  God is a great example of a belief.  Many people believe in God.  What religion you are is of no importance.  What you call God is of no importance.  But most people believe that there is a higher power of some kind.  We have no physical evidence of God.  We only have a belief that a God exists.  We hope God exists.  But even though people who believe in God don’t have that physical evidence of Him they believe He’s there nonetheless.

The same is true of anything you want to change in your own mind.  If you say it over and over again and add to that a feeling of accomplishing what you’re trying to change or the end result, we create a new belief.  This is what I do with hypnosis and why hypnosis is so powerful.  It’s doing what I just described but sliding it past your conscious mind in to your subconscious mind and moving the process along faster because you bypass the clutter the conscious mind throws in the way.  But that’s essentially what hypnosis is and why it’s effective and the cool thing is you can use similar techniques with your own confidence.

The only way I learned how to properly play with a cat-o-nine tails or a violet wand was to get in there and do it.  And the same thing is true for you when you play at home.  You won’t feel confident with your toys of choice until you play with them and go a little too far.  And when you’re a pro-domme that little too far is different for every client.  Fortunately your only client is your partner.

It’s the dominant’s job to push and pull to see where their sub’s limits are because many don’t know.  So don’t get caught up in having to wield a whip with perfect finesse and just start slapping softly and increase from there.  And that’s true of any toy, start out slow and soft.  So take the pressure of having to be perfect right off the table.  You aren’t in the business of domination.  You aren’t charging your spouse for their session, (although that can be a kink you can consider playing with later).  The whole point of exploring your dominant side is to have fun, it’s not meant to stress you out.  If you find yourself stressing or feeling anxious it means you’re in your head too much and you need to close your eyes and take a deep breath and put a smile on your face because I can assure you in that moment your face will be showing your stress.  The act of smiling will break that thought process.  There’s no such thing as perfect.

So how do you get yourself in to a confident frame of mind?

With visualization.  You begin by remembering a time in your life when you felt really confident.  It doesn’t matter when that was or what you were feeling confident over.  Even if it was a fifth grade science fair where you knew you’d aced first place.  Or when you stood up to a bully and won.  Close your eyes and go back to that time. What did it feel like?  How did it feel in your body?  What was your posture in that moment? What did your face look like? Put your body in to that posture right now.  Feel yourself back in that moment.  Feel the confidence you had in that moment, flowing through your body in this moment.  Feel the invincibility and power.  When you really feel that power running through you, touch your thumb to your middle finger.  Practice doing this at different times throughout your day. Practice getting in to this state then touching your thumb to your middle finger.

Now if by chance you have never felt confident a day in your life you can still do this.  You don’t have to go by a memory you can create the feeling using your imagination. The subconscious mind doesn’t know fantasy from reality or memory from imagination. And we can use this to our advantage.  So when you close your eyes and go through the visualization I want you to imagine what it would feel like being unstoppably confident.  What would that feel like? Ask yourself the same questions I asked of those who have the memory of feeling confident just re-phrase them.  Eg. What would your posture be in that moment?  Get yourself to feel what you think it would be like to be super confident and when you do put your thumb and middle finger together.  Do this several times a day.

What this is called is anchoring and it’s a type of hypnosis (or self-hypnosis in this case) called NLP or neuro linguistic programming.  What will happen is by practicing this over and over you will be able to recall this feeling of intense confidence when you need it simply by putting your thumb and middle finger together.  This same technique can be used very effectively to do things like curb cravings to help you lose weight or any time you want to create a feeling in any given moment such as confidence or calmness if you’re fighting anxiety.

Dominance is about feeling your power and until you really do feel your power you can always conjure it up when you need it.  But I can promise you the more you play in your new, sexy role the easier it will be to feel your power and your confidence will soar.

What do you think? Let me know below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Do We Engage in Risky Fetish or Sexual Behavior?

Articles, Featured, The Submissive Mind

 

Pat wrote me a while back (yes I know I’m slow but he knows I always get to it eventually) wondering why we engage in risky behavior.  Now because of the subject matter of this site I’ll obviously be discussing it based on the risky behavior of some men in the fetish realm.  So let’s identify what would be considered risky fetish behavior.

Before I get started on this, at the risk (see what I did there) of everyone leaving comments like, “anyone who does this is insane,” my return comment to you is…duh, that’s what we’re talking about here.  So let’s refrain from commenting on the obvious shall we?

When it comes to risky fetish behavior the first thing that comes to mind is sexually transmitted disease.  So we’ll put that at number one because I know of many submissive men who engage in extremely risky sexual behavior such as unprotected sex with other men they haven’t bothered to do medical checks on.  The turn-on in this case is actually the fact that they might get HIV.  Remember we’ll get in to the why later.

The next perilous practice I would put on our list would be financial domination or more specifically blackmail.  Blackmail or losing control of the power of your finances can be very risky not just from the obvious loss of funds but now we add the treacherous thought of getting caught.  It’s both the getting caught part and the loss of control that is the turn-on.

Another fetish that comes to mind is medical domination.  Let’s face it laying yourself bare; quite literally, on a table and having someone who is NOT a medical doctor do an extreme procedure such as penile re-shaping or castration is pretty scary.

Those are the top three as far as I am concerned. Of course there are a ton of others that could fall on our list but that will give those of you who didn’t know that any of this existed a good overview of what we’re tackling here.

So I have a question for you.  Did you notice a trend in all of these practices?

Yup you guessed it…fear.

You might have come up with a couple of others but if you peel away all the layers of this behavior it boils down to – fear.

So why do we want to be afraid? Isn’t that something we as humans try to avoid? For most of us, yes.  But for many of us that feeling of fear becomes an adrenaline rush, which happens to be one of the reasons we engage in risky behavior.

To put it in more mainstream terms that you might be able to grasp a bit better, think of Halloween.  Halloween is a major industry as is horror in general.  Halloween is my personal favorite time of year because I adore scaring the crap out of people.  And we LOVE having the shit scared out of us.  The idea of walking down a dark corridor not knowing who or what might jump out at us gets our blood rushing and our hearts racing.

Or if Halloween isn’t your thing think about amusement parks or more specifically roller coasters.  Now roller coasters I HATE.  But again look at what we put ourselves through.  The anticipation of waiting in line which is usually a mile long and winds through half the park so that by the time you’ve been in it about a half hour you’re so far up to the front you can’t back out. You’re committed.  And thus begins the panic.  Your heart starts to race knowing there’s no way out and you’re about to board the car; you’re at the platform and it’s time to get in. If you pussy out now you’ll look like a tool so you push yourself to step in then what do they do? They sloooowly take you up that first hill. All you hear is that god awful ticking of the chain pulling you up to the peak. By now, for me anyway, I’ve just had a litter of kittens all over the floor of the car and we haven’t even started yet.  Then you get to the top and you see nothing but sky because it’s a drop-off and then over you go with my lifeless body flopping next to you.  We scream our heads off, some of us throw up but when it’s all over 45 seconds later we get off and say, “LET’S DO IT AGAIN!” Okay everybody but me, but you get my point…fear.

So like I said don’t point fingers just because someone else’s adrenalin rush is different from yours. You see the ladies and gentlemen who engage in the sexual form of roller coasters and Halloween are doing it for the same reason.  But that still brings us back to why. Why do we love to be scared?

In the case of fear it’s the hormone adrenalin that gives us that fast heart rate and puts us in our fight or flight mode.  For some folks adrenalin is their rush of choice.  Emergency room physicians for example thrive on it. Have you ever seen someone do something you thought was crazy only to see a HUGE smile on their face and hear them proclaim, “I’ve never felt so ALIVE!!”  That’s adrenalin.  But that’s not the only chemical at play with risk. Nor are chemicals the only reason we engage in risky behavior.

My love of medicine as well as the mind had me getting in to autopsies years ago. One thing that stood out was the coroners discussing that the majority of deaths involving young men aged 15 to about 24 was risky behavior.  One story that comes to mind was a young lad who was mattress surfing on the top of a car.  The mattress was in no way tied down it just sat on the roof of the car as the guy lay on top of it and away they went.  Well it doesn’t take too much imagination to figure out the result.  The mattress flips up from the front after being lifted by air and both he and the mattress flip backwards resulting in this guy hitting the pavement at a high rate of speed and then shortly thereafter… the autopsy table.

Although no one had done a scientific study about it then, maybe now I don’t know, the general consensus from coroners is that testosterone is a killer.  You just didn’t see as many girls behaving the same way and ending up on their tables.  This comes from the primal center of our brains.  Men behave this way because it’s programmed in them to a degree.  Like a peacock having to strut its stuff for the ladies.  And testosterone is a big influencer in risky sexual behavior as well.  But it’s not as easy as saying men are idiots.  It can also be a combination of chemical factors and development that are at play.

Start with the fact that the human brain is not fully formed until after the age 21-ish. It’s different for everyone but roughly that age.  The last part of the brain that develops is our ability to perceive consequence.  That is why you hear defense lawyers always saying that a child didn’t have the ability to know what he was doing.  That’s a bit of a stretch because they know right from wrong but they cannot conceive of the end result of what they’re doing.  They are unable to stop and think, if I do this it could affect the rest of my life or worse.  I remember a case where a child of about 11 had killed his parents and when he was taken in for questioning he kept asking for his mother.  To him it was a video game and his parents should have just got up and kept going.

Okay that explains why adolescents engage in risky behavior but what is an adult’s other excuse besides testosterone and adrenalin?

The answer is Dopamine.

That pesky little neurotransmitter that makes us feel FABULOUS!  It isn’t called the ‘feel good’ chemical for nothing.  Dopamine is the reason we feel good after a yummy meal or when we win a hand of poker or for the ladies, buying that pair of shoes.  It’s also the reason we become addicts.  Drugs such as methamphetamine and cocaine artificially squeeze out as much dopamine as our little bodies can possibly produce making us feel artificially fantastic.  So in the case of our fetish risk taker there’s a certain satisfaction in a submissive male after he’s proved himself worthy in whatever way he enjoys submitting.

Now when we sprinkle sex on top of our crazy sundae we have to throw in the chemicals that make us have that delicious afterglow we love and bask in after a good roll in sack – oxytocin and our friends the endorphins, those yummy chemicals that give us that mellow cuddly feeling we get after sex.

With all of these chemicals coursing through your body it’s a wonder more people aren’t cliff diving their way through life.  Luckily our bodies have mechanisms in place to prevent us from being a race of imbeciles who can’t live past the age of 20.  So whether it’s age related or chemical we all at some point do something that we know was really risky and if you’re reading this you obviously survived and now you might be a little more aware of why you did it and hopefully don’t repeat it.  I’d start by turning down that offer to mattress surf on your buddy’s car and try my list of ladies who’d be happy to help you part with your pension, it’s a little less risky.   😉

The Fallacy of the Femme Domme Sisterhood

Articles, Dr Sue's Thoughts, Featured

I hate to shit on the kumbaya moments some of the ladies in this industry try to create with their ‘Femme Domme Sisterhood’ ideas but in my opinion it’s all crap. YES CRAP!

I’d love for all of the women in female domination to live our lives in a tampon commercial; running slowly through a field of flowers on a beautiful sunny day, hair billowing, flower print dress flowing as our equally beautiful friends run towards us with their arms outstretched ready to embrace our sisters in love and respect.
Unfortunately that’s NEVER going to happen.

In reality you might find one or two ladies who will support you and be friendly as long as everyone has had their Snicker™ bars. What’s more likely to happen is those same women running toward each other with the tampons in their mouths, blood dripping down their chins, hot and sweaty in their leather and latex with a flagrum in one hand and a cell phone blasting social media in the other.

You can say I’m cynical and you’d probably be right but I like to think of my cynicism as realism. I’ve been around the block in this industry and business enough to know better.

Here’s why the ideal of women helping women in female domination won’t work and one is the same reasons why female supremacy will never work despite what some of you would like to believe.

MONEY

.001% of women in either professional or online domination are in it because it’s in their soul and don’t get paid for it; the key being not getting paid for it. Of course many women are naturally dominant but once you start getting paid for it the game changes, now its business and once money comes in to play both women and men get territorial and mean.

Every week I’m approached by women telling me yet another horror story to add to my own about something yet another Domme has done to ‘destroy’ her in some way, shape or form. Just check your Twitter timeline it’s not hard to find.

These attacks can take the form of simple social media insults and unfollows to websites being hacked to real-life identities being exposed and ruined to stalking and physical confrontations. Let’s face it girls no one fights dirtier than we do. And this foolishness can come from something as simple as a ‘slave’ being ‘stolen’. (Why the quotes? Because if you guys had half a brain you’d realize there is NO LOYALTY in sex. You can’t steal something that was never yours to begin with. Men will ALWAYS be looking for the latest, shiniest, newest woman out there in the ridiculous hope they will be the answer to their domination prayers.) This is called COM-PE-TI-TION and its part of doing business. Now before all you good boys come out saying “HEY I’M NOT THAT WAY,” yes there are a few of you gentlemen who behave like a real submissive and love and adore your Domme but you boys are RARE and this is something all you ladies out there need to beat in to your brains.

As long as money is involved there will be no warm fuzzies between Dommes. Think of it this way, do you see Burger King cuddling up to McDonalds putting out commercials about the Burger Brotherhood? No! Does Ford put out advertisements to get your next car at their bestie Toyota’s dealership? No!

EVOLUTION

Sorry girls but we haven’t evolved enough to pull off any sisterhood femme domme or otherwise. And the aforementioned behavior is my case-in-point. As long as women continue to fight, scratch and claw at each other for a myriad of retarded reasons it will never happen. We fight each other instead of the men who keep us in a minority, repressed position. I’m not a feminist and even I can see that. Without getting overly political men want minorities such as women and people of color for example fighting amongst ourselves, it keeps us busy and not moving forward. Fighting equals stagnation. So the irony in all of this is, the more you bitch and moan at each other the more you’re a puppet of men, the same ones you claim to control.

Yes there is always strength in numbers and collectively mankind will always move forward in a marvelous (I’m trying not to use the word great for obvious reasons) way when we all work together for a common goal. But what is the common goal of a femme domme sisterhood? A bunch of business owners most of whom loathe each other giving virtual hugs. Until you can come up with a strategy, a mission statement that defines what you’re trying to do, you’re wasting your time. Most women who are trying to create these femme domme sisterhoods spend their time mediating audacious arguments.

Look I’m not saying you can’t acquire friendships in this business, of course you can. I have a few myself, a few as in I can count them on one hand, on purpose. But I will say that most of the women I was once friends with I am no longer for various reasons, not all of them negative but some.  People come and go in your life that’s totally normal.

I’m not trying to say don’t be friendly, of course be friendly, be supportive just don’t waste all of your time trying to get everyone to get along or to try to be best buddies with everyone you encounter.  This is business not a support group and in business there are no safe zones.  No little rooms that you can run to and pet a puppy to make yourself feel better.

Listen if you come out of this life with one ride or die friend then you are truly blessed, in business expect none. Stop wasting your time trying to be everyone’s best friend, it won’t work and it causes you to take your eye off the prize, your business. And when it comes to business learn to mind yours and quit worrying about what everyone else is doing. Put your efforts in to refining your craft and building a niche for yourself. The best Dommes are the quiet ones not getting in to drama. They’re the ones laughing all the way to the bank while the idiot squirrels chase each other’s tails and throw nuts at one another. Cause ladies if men wanted drama, they’d go offline and listen to their wives.

Sound off politely below 

Financial Domination is DEAD

Articles, Featured, Financial Domination

Financial Domination is DEAD

Yeah I said it! Now go in your corners and come out fighting.

Financial domination has died a horrible death my friends and there’s no one standing by with paddles to shock the life back in to it.

Oh sure some of you ladies will probably say I’m just a bitter old woman and you’re entitled to your opinion just as much as I’m entitled to mine.  But let’s look at the facts. First of all I haven’t done financial domination as a part of my online domination for years with the exception of a Findom hypnosis audio.  So my opinion is based on observation and male complaints not bitterness.  I don’t do financial domination work because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  [insert dick joke here]

When we were all thrown in to the mess that was the recession in 2008 a whole whack of women seeped on to the internet and found what they thought was the pot of gold at the end of their rainbow;  financial domination.  “Oh my god, you mean men will just throw money at me for no reason? SWEET!”

So instead of actually learning the craft of domination you had and still have, women who think flashing their twat for $20 on Skype is financial domination.  WRONG!

Yes I can hear you ladies now, “it doesn’t matter how you get the money out of them, it’s still financial domination.”  Or, and I love this one, “who are you to judge how I make my money.”  Now sweet thing, I don’t give a rats ass how you get your money. If you want to spread your legs or flash your titties you are absolutely right, I won’t stand in judgement of how you get your money.  Just don’t call yourself a Financial Domanatrix because that is not now, nor has it ever been what a true FinDom does.  So you cash-for-flash rinsing bitches go right ahead and carry on doing what you’re doing but what you’re doing is NOT financial domination.

Mainstream media hasn’t helped the situation either with all the ridiculous ‘documentaries’ purporting to show what financial domination is and isn’t.  When I see these articles and docu-series my eyes roll so far up I look like something from the Walking Dead.

Domination is an art. Financial domination is a niche within that art.  It has nothing to do with twat watching or jiggling your ass.  It has to do with seduction.  Men want to be seduced out of their money.  You babes who are out there on Twitter and Instagram saying PAY ME!  This is what you look like:

Tit Panhandling

And at least this chick is being honest.  You ladies look like you are panhandling and it’s not attractive nor is it seductive.

Case in point…Playboy.  Why do you think after running this mag since 1953 would the executive suite decide to remove nudity from the magazine?  A magazine that’s entire existence was based on a nude female?  Because nudity is over done now.  You can go anywhere online and see vag, tits and ass.  But truly seductive and sexy photos are now rare.  As a matter of fact, from a psychological standpoint, most men are desensitized to nudity because of over exposure.

seductionexample

The same holds true for financial domination now.  It has been so diluted it looks like clear piss in the toilet.  No substance and absolutely not what it was supposed to be.

I get many women who email me for advice. Usually I never hear back from them because they don’t like what I have to say.  Truth hurts. But if you want to make a living at being a Domme DON’T GO IN TO FINANCIAL DOMINATION.  The reality is, if you niche yourself in some way the money will follow anyway.  Most good financial domination relationships don’t start out that way.  They start out as just D & s and the financial aspects naturally follow.  Logic dictates if you’re playing online the only way to serve IS financially.

It’s like tattoos.  Personally I hate them. I think they make women especially look like longshoremen.  And now almost every person on the planet has a tattoo.  Therefore if you want to truly be different and stand out from the crowd DON’T GET A TATTOO.  If you want to truly be a Domme with a lasting business DON’T BE A FINDOM. It’s overdone and you become a small fish in a now very big, very diluted ocean, not pond.

So I’m not saying that if you make your living flashing your bits that you’re wrong. You’re not, go right ahead and do that but calling yourself a financial dominatrix is a lie because you aren’t dominating anyone.  You’re giving away the goods and as soon as you give those goods away you’ve leveled the playing field and you are no longer in a dominant position.  The same holds true for Dommes who have sex with their subs. You’ve just destroyed the Dominant/submissive aspect of the relationship.

So my advice to newbies just coming in to the world of online domination is LEARN YOUR CRAFT FIRST. Niche yourself with the myriad of fetishes out there and never, ever call yourself a FinDom.  Cause if you do, you just made yourself…BASIC.

Caveat: This article has caused some ladies heads to explode.  I’ve been told I’m “Kink Shaming.”  (Sorry but I find that term hilarious) If you choose to read this and only see negativity that is your choice. No where in this article do I say that doing porn is wrong or bad.  I have many friends who do porn, strip and escort and I would never, ever say what they do is wrong. If you enjoy what you do, have at ‘er I’ll support you 100%.

Nor do I say that there are no good Findoms. There are! Both OG and new.  They are good because they took the time to learn how to do it correctly.  If you actually took the time to really listen to what I had to say you would see I’m simply pointing out that the real aspects of Financial Domination have been lost and watered down due to desperate times.  Therefore a smart person getting in to the game now wouldn’t throw themselves in to a business model that is saturated, tainted and dying.  It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do FinDom but you need to make yourself unique.

This article IS brutally honest but that’s how I roll I have never sugar coated anything because we all have smoke being blown up our asses on a daily basis and I don’t plan to add to that. You can choose to hate me and call me names, that’s cool I can take it. You can shut down my site, that’s cool I’ll just put it back up again.  I’m not going to be silenced and I’m not going anywhere.  I don’t have a problem with you disagreeing with me CONSTRUCTIVELY that’s what the comment section is for but if you’re just going to spew hate I’m not listening.

I’m not bitter because I sucked at FinDom. I’ve been in D & s for over 35 years in one way or another (both Pro and online).  I chose a while ago to move in to fetish psychology so I could help men primarily be comfortable with their kinks and fetishes so that they can come to YOU ladies and have fun. It’s what I enjoy and have had a calling to do from a very young age but one can’t help someone if they haven’t experienced it.  Now you can look at that as some sort of failure if you want but I look at what I’ve been through as more of an evolution.  I have many years of wisdom to impart to those who want to hear it.  If you don’t want to hear it, simply close the page and move on.  That’s what grown ups do.

The fact that I have to explain all this is, in my OPINION, ridiculous but hey some people need flash cards. Oh there I go shaming again… (And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m never going to be overly PC either.) But as you can see below MOST women and men…get it.

 

More Content

Most Recent Comments

error: This content is protected !!