Financial Domination comes from a deep need for a loss of control. Financial Domination can be played in a myriad of ways but the main idea is a dominant woman seductively or harshly manipulating money from a submissive male.
For the submissive the idea of having a woman take money from him or manipulate him into a state of wanting to give money to her is incredibly erotic. In some cases the submissive male even dreams of complete financial ruination. This is extreme but has been done by many femme dommes in the past. Usually Financial Domination just involves the taking or giving of money either on a scheduled basis, through coercion or blackmail, or just out of an intense need to give.
Now for those of you who are reading this thinking, ‘you’d have to be nuts to get off on that,’ let me remind you that everyone has their own erotic fantasies however if you’ve ever taken a woman on a date, you’ve been financially dominated. If you’ve ever been screwed over in a divorce, you’ve been financially dominated. So don’t be too quick to judge. For some it’s painful, for others it’s very hot.
This is another fetish that has an underlying current of humiliation as well, but again it depends on the individual. To hear a woman laughing and telling you what a sucker you are can be very arousing.
Financial Domination can be done by phone, mail, live sessions or just about any way that’s imaginable. Being a Sugar Daddy is a more controlled form of Financial Domination but usually involved sex. The true fetish doesn’t involve sex at all because the dominant female wouldn’t dream of having sex with an unworthy submissive. The fact that he’s giving to her is simply because he feels that he isn’t worthy of the money but she, being more powerful and beautiful, should be made to enjoy her life with his money but without any tangible benefit to him. The mere fact that he has given the money is the benefit to him.
I use this metaphor a lot when I’m describing the feelings of the submissive in Financial Domination. When you go to a Christian church there is a time in the service where the plate is passed around and every one gives money to help keep the church running. No one there expects anything from that offering. They certainly don’t expect the pastor to get down and say blow the congregation in gratitude. (Lol that’s probably a whole other fetish.) No, in fact you give because you WANT to, you want to make sure your church is there for you next week, that the pastor can eat for the week and the bills can be paid. It’s the exact same thing with submissive men. If it’s done correctly they look at the woman as a goddess, a deity. To offer up money to their goddess is just the right thing to do. Her life is ALL that matters. As a submissive male you want to eat, sleep and breathe this woman. She IS your religion.
I am currently a victim of Financial Domination, in my case through webcam seduction…i am and always was in doubt between trying to stop and having to go on…i think it’s part of me and yes…it excites me incredibly to have a beautiful woman using my fetishes to get money from me….it’s hard to explain the reasons behind this…but it’s there and i can’t deny it
Here we go again another ‘victim’. You aren’t a victim, you asked to have this done so stop playing the victim role. You need to read my post We All Need a Hobby.
But for some the victim part of it is the fetish that really does it for them…and for others, it becomes a little too real, because they ask for it out of fantasy, the way others would ask a dominatrix for a brutal vicious beating, knowing that the hard beating is going to be sane, and end before any dire consequences he’s unable to save himself from will occurre. But so many times in this type of play, with the types of people who get involved, he asks to be ruiend out of fetish, hopes a sane line can be walked, but She goes for all, each and every time, and he both loves the victimization and feels helplessly trapped and victimized by the victimization. And it’s all legit….this is a very real fetish, with unbelievable payoffs and costs, highs and lows.
Yes it is a fetish, but one that IMO is sick & dangerous.
Considering that it is $$$ involved $$$ the consequences are HUGE.
Especially if you’re putting your fetish into the hands of a criminal.
This is what most of these women are.
They are not responsible practitioners of a D/s fetish.
They are primarily immature little girls who are too lazy to work, & instead
take money from those who they deem as Losers.
A lot of these Losers have wives, & children of their own, & while it isn’t solely the fault
of the fake domme, she is accountable.Yet almost none of these women are willing to look at it
as any other way than a play fetish that makes them cash.
They could care less when these guys can’t pay their car loans, mortgages, rent, etc..
They laugh about the whole addiction thing with their fake annoying voices.
However a lot of these guys are really addicted.
The addiction really does ruin their lives.
I have seen it firsthand on many of the adult boards where i have participated
for years.
A lot of these guys are ruined.
I really wish that we would criminalize this.
I can guarantee you that if a few of these cases were to make it to court in an open way
this would happen.
I like what GoddessVona said
I think having a true D/s relationship is about a mutual connection, but call me old school. It seems like nowadays everyone is trying to get into bdsm without knowing the history, culture and lifestyle. Just a thought.
I despise these fake dominatrices that I have actually mastered in real life situations.
I wonder how the hell anyone could be taken in by them when many of the ones i have met
are anything but dominatrices.
I know several that actually buy gifts & pay their boyfriends like a pimp.
Gee, Hov. I’m surprised you didn’t add that it was “degrading to women” as well. lol
Wow. .There is allot wrong with your post . .Maybe some are like that. .
But I know several Financial Domme’s who do work and still do this as well. .
I Myself never get involved with someone who is married or in a relationship
I stated that in my post and I question them first before ever starting anything. .
But then again you have to realize PEOPLE LIE. They can say they are single
but some do have a secret agenda.
I Myself have been a Mistress for 5years and is still practicing AND learning,
and I have recently took on this interest. .and like I said allot of My mentor’s who
are in this flied DO have jobs and other responsibilities outside of a D&s and S&m
And I do agree as well with GoddessVona . .
And that is how it has been with several of My sub.
And one thing I know I do is make sure My financial sub do take care of any responsibilities
such as bills and rent first. Only because I don’t like a irresponsible person.
I have just this week begun the process of becoming my ex gf’s money slave. I’m not even sure if she knows it lol. She isn’t stupid though she is incredibly intelligent and beautiful and she just made me buy her $519 in clothes including the gift wrapping. She told me yesterday that she is just doing it to make me happy, but we will see where it goes when she recieves her $198 jeans and (2) $138 tops. I have a feeling she is going to get a taste of what she could be doing to me on a regular basis. I’ve actually always wanted her to do this to me going back as far as when we met in college and i have enormous cuckold fantasies of her…OMG. She is becoming more condiscending and superior in her attitude towards me. And she is starting to worry that i will not want to do this in the future…she is so cute, lol, i need a suddle way to bring up blackmail to her lol. I think she is a natural but is just naive as to what she can be. I just can’t wait for tomorrow….omg she is going to look SO adorably cute in the clothes she picked out and told me to buy her…i think i will probably immediately cum in my pants. I guess my point of this is that it’s much hotter when someone you love. and were in love with, turns and makes you their money slave..OMG i feel like i’m flying on bubbly clouds of endorphins never to be let down.
Tell her you think blackmail would be erotic. Remember she’s not a professional Domme so she wouldn’t even know about that. She’d probably love doing it, it tends to feed our female sinister side. Well…it does mine anyway. Keep us posted and let us know how she’s doing J.S.
P.S. Enjoy those bubbly clouds, aren’t they fun!!?
He doesnt want to tell her he wants her to tell him. I would suggest that when you are highly excited that you talk about how you wouldn’t want certain people to find out and how embarrassing it would be while you are grunting like a pig. Then right when you are cumming which would be also the same time that you are buying her something, since that is what you are into, you ask the BIG question, “you won’t tell anyone will you, uhhh, uhhh, oh my god I can’t believe I came.” then if you want you can let her know that you’ve always been worried about that and that at the same time it turns you on like nothing else. Don’t worry she’ll know what to do next time.
That’s all waaaaay too much trouble. Just tell the girl what you want. So much easier. Shit and they say women complicate things…
Well after about 2 weeks i see that you were right Dr. Sue, my ex gf isn’t a professeional Domme..lol! She just wants to be treated as a Princess, and she is really, but she doesn’t get why in the world i would want to be told what to do and that i’m her property. She doesn’t have the slightest idea why i would want her to step on my genitals with the cowgirl boots i bought her lol 🙁 . She doens’t get why i would want her to tell me i have a small penis and she said it would be easier for her to accept gifts from me if i were her boyfriend …omg wtf? haha. I don’t think she has it in her, and it’s so weird because when i was her boyfriend she was SO bitchy and superior acting towards me. She even cheated on me at the end of our relationship (well i think all the way through it actually) and i was totally her cuckold. Even my Mom told me she was turning me into her cuckold, but i was in total denial and love. I really didn’t know what a cuckold was anyway haha. She would just come home totally wreaking of sex and then sit by me…i mean i always could never keep my hands off of her, and i would start kissing her down her body and eventually get to the wet creamy suprise in her panties. I don’t know if she knew that i knew, and i didn’t really want to know that i knew either, but i did it anyway. OMG she was sooo hot back then and i could not help myself. And when i would look up at her she would have the most sinister look of extacy on her face….and that only turned me on more. So i dont know, i really thought it was going to work out, i mean now with financial domination. But i seriously am having my doubts. Just wanted to keep you posted and thanks for listening. – J.S.
Interesting J.S. sounds like you were so close and then shut it down too soon. She may not be able to get back to that point. Hard to say. Doesn’t mean she can’t be taken back to that point but I think you’d be smart to tell her that you enjoyed that part of your relationship. Remember they aren’t psychic so you do have to speak up with what you want. Financial Domination can be tricky though.
those are definitely the most fun, the ex relationship that becomes the Findom Owner. i have had a few of those, and it is intense and exilerating. Unfortunately, it is also deep and complicated, and you have to tread carefully. But its the best, so much more fulfilling than finding a girl advertising online as findom, who you are never going to meet.
I read almost the whole blog starting from the end and almost got all the way to the beginning before I had to come finally at this article of all articles. Three and a half hours of continuous masturbating is definitely a record for me. Definitely attributed to two things: this blog keeping ky attention and those pops that I took that made it too hard for me to cum, no pun intended. Thank you for the blog Sue. I lookforward to calling you sometime. Marty aka the guy that you found cute because I was jerking to the feedback on your nf listing.
I’m glad to see that the blog is keeping your attention. Isn’t it fascinating how easy is it is to fall in to a trance and lose track of time when reading something that you find highly erotic. Especially if you can hear my voice and I know you can cause we’ve spoken before it’s like you and I are chatting. You know I knew a gentleman who was so entranced by what I wrote, it was like he was compelled to come back everyday. It would literally, according to him, become more and more arousing each time he came back. He told me that sometimes he would read an article over and over and with each reading he would get hornier and hornier. He was so absorbed by the words he said it felt as though he could feel himself get weaker the more aroused he became. That the words spoke to him and created a connection he’d never experienced before. Isn’t that incredible. Unusual, but incredible. That’s why I LOVE the human mind, don’t you?
Oh dear, I found myself reading your reply over and over again and started to feel the same way. You planned that didn’t you. Sue, try not to think of an easily manipulated man. Please try not to because it will only make it worse for me.
Again, so cute Marty. Why not just enjoy whatever feeling you get from it?
It is cute. It’s like your a well-read chronic masturbator. who can only get off by literature. It’s unique and I like unique. But then that isn’t fair because I know a lot more than what my readers know about you which is basically nothing. So I’m somewhat biased.
It seems there are more women then ever doing financial domination & it just feeds my addiction
I am also a Money Slave… it’s hard to describe why i do this… i just know that it’s incredibly irresistible to me the feeling of a beautiful woman teasing me to make me weak and get all She wants from me…
Coming from a Dominatrix, I have subs who have a financial fetish. It’s one of my favorites but I do other fetishes as well. I prefer “real-time” sessions compared to online but for my subs who have this particular fetish– I can say it’s quite interesting. Not only does it feel like xmas everyday but seeing my subs have an orgasm-like feeling when they are spending money on is quite erotic. Again, I only do this offline but I do know you can do this online as well. Great for those who have this fetish who can’t serve you in person.
For those wanting to be a “financial dominatrix”, it’s not something you wake up one day and decide to do. I personally believe its a way of life, who you are… Your either a Domme or not. Potential subs will find out fast those who are pretending to be something they are not. What I can suggest to subs who are looking into financial domination or finding that one Domme who can fulfill their kinky desires (online/offline) is to make sure you have a connection with her. I think having a true D/s relationship is about a mutual connection, but call me old school. It seems like nowadays everyone is trying to get into bdsm without knowing the history, culture and lifestyle. Just a thought.
Stay Kinky 🙂
BH
speaking as a sub, we know. there is a difference between goldigger and findom.
It feels like when just the tip of a knife caresses the skin stimulating the outer nerve endings,
the electric charge pulsating through the body. It is different than an orgasm though. It feels better.
It lasts days and makes you actually feel strong and self confident. It can occur from the feeling of being permanently owned and that every set period of time she comes first you pay her bills, her expenses are yours. It quickly makes me love my Mistress and it’s real. I love Mistress Cami Fine!!!!
NGB
hello
I met a princess online and she always get me to cave into her demands and I seem to be giving her more money lately. just can’t keep up with this fetish just so hard for me to say no to her she even offered to budget my money too not sure what that is about? anyone ever done it before or did it to a slave? not sure if I am hooked into being a money slave trying to stay away but it so hard for me. not sure what to think about all this?
B”H
You do have to budget your money. set up a realistic payment schedule. Don’t try to show off if you don’t have it. But you have to sit down and see what is the minimum and maximum. If you reach the maximum its part of the lifestyle for her to try to get more. But a an absolute maximum must be there.
Guarantee her a minimum and ALWAYS keep it. do extras when you can TRY to be sure you can get her extra. I for example can’t do this without a second job. I made a life choice
This is all part of it. Make sure its for you. You can always give to her just to give. Make sure the LIFESTYLE is what you want
I find this very interesting and would like to try it. A pretty woman taking seems hot.
It is hott and sexy!
It certainly can be.
hi love all the great advice from everyone on your webpage. DR SUE when you do financial domination what skills or interaction did you used to inspire your pets?
It literally depends on the individual client’s needs and vulnerabilities so it will vary per person. I’m still a huge believer in Dommes not using naked shots of themselves because it’s degrading to the woman and puts you at the level of a porn star. Not that porn stars are bad but that isn’t the image a Domina should be portraying. So you never would get naked shots of me. Other than that rule it’s open season. I was always very good at blackmail. That’s my strong point. I love digging things up on people however I tend to play more responsibly than most. Not to say I wouldn’t call a wife here or there but she rarely knew who I really was.
BH give
Darn Straight Dr. Sue a lot of men think Domes are hookers or porn stars, but that is not true. Very few women actually touch the guy as more than erotic flirting. I can say that the feeling is beyond orgasmic. I don’t feel ashamed and blackmail? Ask My Mistress Cami Fine. Some of us get stronger by the findom. It is the ultimate act of strength to allow yourself vulnerability. I give not because I can but because I like to bring pleasure to others. Findom is the ultimate in this.
The Blackmail though must be incredibly exciting, like a collar and tether that has small razors (not lethal) if you keep up with Mistress they will arouse you. if not you will hurt yourself . Although some just will not move and don’t care about pain, but they will move anyways just because they like their Mistress.
For men who do this when married I say look at your ring, the Blackmail is your fault.
Don’t cry when it comes back to you. You basically got yourself a second wife, except she doesn’t sleep with you. Now live with it. She grew to rely on you and she should not be thrown away.
If you break it off at least talk to her and give her a parting gift that shows you respect her.
Because just stopping is disrespectful. Dr. Sue while I don’t agree with calling wives, the guy should know that you’re not his toy.
But there are ways of sending a message to the ‘victim’ via the wife in a very non-descript way that the wife doesn’t have a clue but when she tells the victim the indirect message he gets the most intense fear/adrenaline/endorphin rush imaginable. At that point he not only feels the closeness of the tether, he feels his mistress’s breath on the back of his neck. There’s nothing like it in the world. No harm, no foul.