D wrote to me about his feelings, fantasies and confusion surrounding sucking his best friend’s cock. And surprisingly I get A LOT of emails asking about this which is why I chose to address it here instead of just returning his email.
The idea of wanting to suck your best friend’s cock originates from your sexual submissive side. It has nothing to do with being gay or straight as I pointed out in my article Does Sucking Cock Make Me Gay. Most straight males wonder what it would be like to suck another guy’s cock. And even if you acted out on it, that still wouldn’t mean you’re gay. You can even get fucked by another male and maintain your hetero status.
Ok I hear you boys out there screaming, “Fuck off, you can’t suck a dick or even worse, get fucked by another guy and not be gay.” Not true, it depends on the context of the sexual act. If you lie awake at night and dream of walking hand-in-hand along a beautiful shoreline at sunset with some dude then yeah you’re gay. However for most straight men that has nothing to do with it. It has to do with the cock not the guy who’s wagging it and THAT comes from your submissive side not a gay side.
When I question men who are conflicted with this issue that’s the first thing I ask them, “Do you dream of being with a man 24/7, cooking his meals and playing house?” Nine out of ten times the answer is no. But when you probe further (like what I did there?) and ask them what they enjoy in porn you’ll find that YES, it’ll be gay porn BUT they aren’t focusing on the guy in the photo/clip/film, it’s the cock and that’s what sets the two apart.
Sexually submissive males dream about sucking cock because they want to submit to the cock not necessarily the man behind it. To a man, submitting to another male is the ultimate taboo because we raise all our males to be alpha even though the majority are not. So it’s not uncommon for a straight, married male to want to suck a dick. As a matter of fact it’s QUITE COMMON.
So you get why you have these thoughts but where the hell does your best friend/roommate/college buddy/insert bestie profile here, fit in to this? Why does he constantly make number one on the top ten list of whose dick you want to suck? That one’s easy. Because you’re comfy with him, he’s your buddy. You trust him. There is a modicum of safety that comes from someone you know that well. You can trust that he’s not likely to go telling everyone that you sucked his dick but even more so, if you’re “best friend” close, there’s an intimacy level that comes with that title. And let’s face it, when many men were pre-adolescent they explored sexuality with their friends, and thus the circle jerk was born.
It is my personal opinion based on decades of observation that the majority of human beings are bi-sexual (speaking on the generalized gay-straight-bi spectrum). All of sexuality and its components are on a sliding scale. My point being, given the right circumstances, atmosphere, and people, most folks will slide to the other side but you generally feel one way or the other the majority of the time which is what you identify with.
So instead of beating yourself up thinking you’re losing your mind you could always bring it up with your friend and ask if he’s ever thought the same thing. Worst he says is no and you drop it. But I can almost guarantee he’s thought of it too and would be more than happy to fulfill both of your fantasies.
And to answer your next question… what if I like it? You probably will. There. So you do it again. So what? It’s okay to enjoy sex. It’s okay to enjoy it the way YOU like it. And no one knows unless you tell them anyway. I mean isn’t enjoying what you do sexually the whole point of sex besides procreation? So stop worrying so much. Relax and chat with your buddy if you want but don’t drive yourself crazy over something that is as common as blowing your nose, (you thought I was gonna say dick, didn’t ya?) but because we don’t sit around over a pumpkin spice latte discussing it, that’s what makes it weird.
What do you think? Sound of in the comments below.
(Typo’s? Tell me on Twitter.)
One of my best friends and I had a threesome with a girl we both liked. We brought her to my house and we had sex with her in every room and in every possible position. When we stripped the first time, I noticed my friend’s dick was huge and it looked just beautiful. I always thought of myself as a straight male since I love women to this day. However, after having sex in one of my beds, the next night I came back alone and I jerked off on top of the cum stains he had left on the sheets. I was so hard and so into it I even tried licking off the dried cum. The feeling was exhilarating indeed. I never told him, but ever since then I have been wanting to suck his beautiful cock. He’s married and I know his wife, but when I jerk off thinking about his dick I tend to say she wouldn’t know how to suck him off the way I would, like a real man. This shit is mind boggling, but I’m not complaining. I look forward to see him soon and try things out. Somehow I feel he would go for it because one time he asked me if I would ever have sex with a trans. That’s gotta mean something.
Go for it! The worst that happens is, he says no. Big deal. But if you don’t ask you’ll never know and in the end you always regret the shit you didn’t do.
I have a really strong desire to suck off a friend. We have jerked off on zoom multiple times and We’ve shared cock pictures. He’s commented about wanting to suck me off and shared his experiences. I’ve done nothing but jerk off a teen friend, but no question that I’d love to give him an erotic massage ending with his cock and cum in my mouth.
Working on how we can get a weekend alone and try this and many other things out with each other.
I have a friend I have wanted to suck off for a long time. He and his wife are aware I give guys blow jobs. I’ve told them both several times I would be happy to suck him off. I’m hoping they decide it is okay, as I won’t suck him unless his wife is agreeable to it.
How gallant of you.
what if you have feeling about have sex with other male im a male
Read my article Does Sucking Cock Make Me Gay?
I often think the same thing; I’d love to suck off my best friend. He has a big cock too – 8″.
Anyway,I want to tell him I want to suck him, but what if he gets mad or goes and tells someone or anyone? I would just die!! thanks
You have to choose your moment. You can’t just drop it on the guy.
What you say and point out makes since to me i love women but at the same time a friend of mine i had a dream of sucking his cock before the dream i would flip out on myself but after god DR i want to suck his cock so bad heknows about the dream i told about it sucking and making him cum he was absolutely in lets he was loving it when was twlling him he even ask if i liked it and yes i loved it and i kmow he did bur nothing has come of it we have never discussed it being per him saying don’t want to talk about that gay shit i yold him i’ not gay and he’s the only one that i would ever do that with idk wwhat todo wait til were playing chess and he’s in a playful mode and somehow bring it up that when i googled it they said no way it makes you gay and that most men at least think about how it would be like to suck on a cock plus a majority have and even married men suck cock pretty rehular of course without his wife knowing but it’s there and he’s not stupid but he tries to deny that what transpired that nite but he freaking knows i know when i said sucked cock so good you cum so much and even twitched and crambed his cock down my throat and yes he’s trying ro play it off i’m bout to just tell him if you can’t be honest withyourself in regards to that nite or even admit in a tiny way you are the one first of all before the dream that you sucked me in by saying you could see me sucking another friends cock when you know i hate him and also bud i texted you back and told no freaking but i would suck your cock before him i remember oh hell yeah yep then i said i mean it i would suck your cock before him he loved i told him the i told a couple people i dreamed about him an it all he wasn’t mad i even told a friend of ours that got jealous and i told him that i told our friend thar i did suck your cock anfd he was wanting me to suck his i told him just you and he freaking laughed and said you told him you sucked my ccock yes and he was jea;ous of you and he said dam straight i said iv’e told more than a few of out sraitght friends i want his cock andi i can’t couldn’t get him mad but idk if i brought it up how he would react that’s why i need to wit and bring it up at the right like i’ll tell him something likehey my girl knows i want your cock cause she does he got spooked by someone or thing or i just might of blew it taking to dam long to set it up
My friend has a big cock too 8 iv’e never did it but god do i want his
Dr Sue I would like to share my experiences with my best friend. We’ll call him Tom. Tom and I and another friend were hanging out one day when the subject of blowjobs came up. I don’t recall the dialog that prompted it but it gravitated to where Tom offered to blow me if I would blow him, me going first of course. I admit it took me by surprise and was a bit of a shock but I wasn’t having it. Tom kept prodding and working on me. He was smooth clever aggressive and could talk his way into getting mostly what he wanted. And he was smarter than I academically. We argued back and forth as to who would go first and eventually he wore me down. We agreed he and I go into the other friends basement where we wouldn’t be seen. The friend wasn’t to go with as we wanted no witnesses. Long Tory short when Tom and I got down there I gave him what he wanted. When it came his turn he chickened out. You can imagine my humiliation and betrayal. To make matters worse the friend who was t supposed to witness did and told others. The fallout from that was hard to deal with but Tom and I refuted his claims.
I fell for Toms trick on another occasion just him and I this time and again he tricked me into blowing him with no reciprocation. The third time I refused his advances. I was spending the night at his house and when I refused he forced me to do it. He waited until he thought I’d fallen asleep and then he came down from his top bunk in just his briefs and got on top of me sitting on my chest pinning me down. He put me in a schoolgirl pin with his crotch in my face and his balls over my mouth. He stayed on my face mocking and talking down to me telling me I was going to blow him until the pain in my shoulders and arms from him pinning them down under his legs became too much and I nodded my head submissively underneath him that I would duck his dick. He got up off of me and made me blow him in his bedroom that night with his family in the house. After that I became his blowboy. I would blow him on demand. I grew to like the submission and abuse to the point I would fantasize and masturbate about it. About him making me blow him and it manifested into fantasizing about him making my girlfriends blow him in front of me. Even into my marriages. His abuse has affected every relationship I’ve ever had. Even today. It’s made me manipulate my current wife into sucking other guys cocks. But they have to be a certain type dude. Certain look and build. Tall lean younger and hung. They have to be at least 8 inches preferably 9. I masturbate while she has him in her mouth. My best friend past away awhile ago from cancer but he still has a hold on me. Can you help me understand?
I had an experience with my friend when I was younger.. After spending some time together eventually he ended up asking me if I wanted to suck his cock and I said yes. I had a previous friend who used to suck me off so after my first experience it was nothing new to me. For some reason I became really addicted to sucking his cock it haunts me throughout my life and it bothers me. I’ve tried to add him on Facebook but he declined my request and now it appears he’s deleted his facebook. I would never want to suck off anyone else just him, and especially recently it’s been driving me to madness. I don’t quite know what I will do if I never see him again, but moraly I do find it wrong. I don’t wanna be gay and I never will, don’t have anything against gay people personally, but just not for me.
My friend found out I sucked his cock and then rode his cock while he was passed out. And while I rode his cock I sucked another guys cock at the same time. And then we did this on several occasions…I love cocks…
Wow so you’re a rapist. You must feel so proud.
From a reader
Blowboy,
don’t beat yourself up about this. It’s all okay and gave you something new in your sex life. I’m submissive and can relate to the feelings you feel. You didn’t write wether you liked the act or had ever fantasized about it prior. You said you did masturbate during and after. So it did have a positive imprint on your sexuality. I myself try not to question things too much. Maybe it was in your subconscious and him forcing and manipulating you was it manifesting itself. Maybe all along you needed it. Don’t question it, accept it, it’s beautiful. I wish I could say the same thing happened to me.
Hi sue..I agree with u 100%..its all about the cock. We like playing with our own cocks..and if given the chance enjoy someone else’s too.im not going to have a relationship with him and start picking out China patterns, I just want to get on my knees and service him. He can just sit there and enjoy it…no reciprocation. Same thing with anal..I stay hard the whole time getting fucked
.and I have a hands free cum too. A few friends were willing, a few gave me a weird look, but I laughed it off as a joke. It’s no joke when they approach u later looking to get sucked.
1) I believe he could ruin his friendship if he proposed a blowjob to his friend. Best case scenario, he either drops the idea, or goes as little suspicious as possible about it. Then you say that you can guarantee his friend has thought about it, so maybe there’s more to the email that’s not mentioned here.
2) The only problem you could face from liking it, would come from biases and insecurities. It’s absolutely fine liking the thought of sucking cock. But growing up a certain way with certain beliefs that are now rooted deep in you, you could feel bad doing something you know it’s not wrong.
3) I agree with being straight and sucking cock (or even be fucked as you said) is a submissive thing to do. Sure male on male isn’t technically heterosexual. When you submit to a woman, you finding her attractive makes it easier. If you submit to a man this way while being straight, what you’d be feeling would be stronger. You’re going against what you “hate”, or found disgusting for so long just for the sake of submission, so to speak.
Plus, through submitting to a man, you could become even “lower” to the woman/women you’re serving. You’re basically showing that there’s no competition between you and him, you’re lower in the hierarchy.
Or let’s give another example. Instead of sucking a cock, let’s say that a man, in front of some women, told you to go and buy him a pack of cigarettes. Would you be gay if you did it?
I think people are too hung up on labels not so much what they mean but that there is something wrong with them if a label applies to them like being gay. Despite it being 2019 there are still males who think being gay or bisexual is wrong (which we all know there isn’t).
IMO any male who sucks or gets fucked by a cock is not straight. They may or may not be gay. They could be Bi sexual or Pansexual. But that’s just me.
Totally agree. You can fantasise about having sex with someone of the same gender, but if you act on it and like it then there is some sexual attraction there. This makes you at least Bisexual. The desires can ebb and flow and when you are more horny the desire for (in this example guys to want to suck cock) will be heightened or harder to suppress.
Society has made being anything other than straight considered wrong.
Look back at Ancient Greece and sex between men was considered normal.
I think most people are bi.
Agreed Paul!
Dr. Sue thank you for this article. It does help in my ongoing development and embracing my submissive side. Although i have a few close friends i personally have never thought or would engage in my desires with them. The majority of the article really resonates with me and along with your other article on this topic i will be referring back to it to further help me. Once again wonderful article and thank you!