George writes:
Can someone dislike something and “love” it at the same time? Take cuckolding for example. I think there are quite a few guys that strongly enjoy it, but only as a fantasy because they don’t want anything to do with it in real life, for their reasons. A while ago, a girl I know, told me that a Dom she knows had a female sub that was cheating on her partner with him. He even went to their home while he was away and came in the food that she was making for her and her partner.
It was cheating and non-consensual, yet I somehow liked it. The humiliation I would feel in his position is oddly arousing.
First of all George, I’m sorry this didn’t get this on the Kinky Questions Show. That was my bad.
I see what you’re saying but I don’t think it is really based on ‘love/like’ or ‘dislike.’ What you’re describing is more of a ‘some things are best left in fantasy.’
Take your example, there are many men who love the idea of cuckolding and will jerk off to it and for some even role play it in the bedroom but that’s as far as they are willing to take it. That doesn’t mean our cuckold friend doesn’t like cuckolding, it’s just that he has the self-awareness to know that he couldn’t handle actually seeing it. As I’ve said many times, it takes a man with real balls to handle being a cuckold. Irony at its finest considering we think of cuckolds as being weak when they’re not.
If you think about it you can apply that to pretty much anything, like I’m sure heroin would feel fantastic but I’m not about to try it. Or it would be great if we could a just live on donuts forever. You could, but it probably wouldn’t go well. It’s just being aware of your personal boundaries. Many couples only engage in cuckolding in the bedroom as a role play for the reasons you outlined.
The story your friend related was actually pretty nasty. Like you said it’s nonconsensual and it’s cheating and it’s really mean; sounds like she really didn’t like her partner. BUT there will be a load of guys who will read that and think, oh man that’s hot, just like you did when you heard it. That’s coming from your submissive side loving the humiliation, like you said. That doesn’t mean you run out and do it.
I think if a man or a woman has the self-awareness to know that something isn’t right for them, you need to respect that.
Also he’s not incapable in bed. He may not last long, especially when hes focused on cuckold, but when he’s not he’s lasted for 20 min. It just was a bit boring on his side though (to focus)
My boyfriend of 5 years is the same way with me. Difference is that he actually let 2 of his past girlfriends cuck him. One asked because apparently he didn’t fuck her enough, and the other because she cheated and he let it continue. He says that he never slept with them when they had bulls. He tells me all the time that the relationships were never meant to last, so everything those girls put him through was his choice. Fast forward to me, a shy, never been sexually opened because of a religious background, young girl, who’s like “what does my bf want me to do?” We’ve gone through this back and forth of him talking to the guys that slept with his last ex.. it’s so frustrating for me because the only time he’s really horny is when he hears from them. I’m really not a fan of pretending to be fucked hard when I never have been. What should I do? I don’t think my boyfriend is an actual cuck. He’s just been perverted by the fact he let the bull and his girlfriend take the lead.. he invited a guy over immediately regretted it and pouted and kinda whimpered that he was scared he was going to show up.. i want my boyfriend to be satisfied, but when he talks about cuckold he literally cannot focus and even messes up work for his job. I need help! I’m naturally submissive and not sure a bull is the best idea for us.