I get asked a lot about the difference between an alpha male (also known as a
master, bull, dominant male, daddy, or real man among many other terms), and a beta male (also referred to as the sub male, slave, bitch, or loser). There are a million terms to describe either one and yet there’s still some confusion about their place in BDSM or cuckolding, why I don’t know, it seems very clear to me.
Alpha males are the seed spreaders, their primary reason for living is to spread as much of their dominant seed as possible. This goes back to evolution when it really was survival of the fittest just like in the animal kingdom. Alpha males are usually built as such; tall, broad shouldered, large penises, and usually very handsome with defined bone structure. They are cocky and confident. They know when they enter the room they can do or have anyone there. The downside to alpha males is that they’re too cocky, arrogant, and tend to clash with dominant females. This is precisely the reason why dominant women only fuck alpha males and then kick them to the curb. A dominant woman living with an alpha male can get very ugly and rarely works. That’s why dominant women would rather be with the submissive male except for sex.
Most real alpha males suck at making money because they’re too distracted by their penises and their own sense of importance to bother. Besides, why should they when the beta’s are there to do the work for them? Alpha’s are con-artists and usually have a flock of beta’s in some way doing all the grunt work while they take the glory.
Beta males are the worker bees of the world. I liken it to bees because it’s very similar in structure as a hive. Beta or submissive males are the ones working the hive, gathering the pollen, keeping the hive tidy for the Queen, kicking out intruders. They tend to look submissive, wimpy and usually have small penises although there are exceptions to every rule. Whereas the drones’ only purpose is to fertilize the eggs laid by the Queen to ensure the hives colony is always strong. Granted this is a very glossed over version of bee colonies but you get the idea.
Now understand this has nothing to do with the work world. I’m talking relationships here. There are a lot of who I like to call ‘soldier bees’ out there who disguise themselves as alphas throughout the day because they need to be alpha to succeed in business. These are your corporate heads, your CEO’s and CFO’s who spend the day making huge, very important decisions and then when they get home at night fall to their knees and are more than happy to let their Mistress take over the controls. These boys are also the ones who usually fall in to the abyss of financial domination because they have the money to burn and are usually married to submissive women for some sad reason.
As I’ve said before, the absolute worst is the beta male who thinks he’s alpha. My clients will remember this as I’ve said many times, no matter how alpha or GTL or Guido or Clooney you ‘think’ you are, at some point you’re going to have to drop your drawers and then it’s GAME OVER. (Sideline: for those of you like me, who got sucked in to the train wreck TV program Jersey Shore, I’d liken this type of beta male to ‘The Situation’ I swear he’s the only one who doesn’t realize he’s a bitch).
An extreme example of problems that can occur with these imposter alpha’s, are these guys who end up beating on their submissive women. They’re so busy trying to be something they’re not, trying to prove themselves to no one because most people could care less, that they get so frustrated and freaked out about their submissive, insecure thoughts that they subsequently take it out on their submissive women. For these idiots I have 2 things to say; there’s a dungeon with your name on it and a whole heap of dominant women who’d love to have you for dinner (literally), and grow up and quit trying to control something you can’t control. No matter how often you look in the mirror as a dog and say, ‘I’m a cat, I’m a cat, I’m a cat’ it’s never going to make you a cat. So on behalf of women everywhere, for the love of god please stop trying to be something you can never be. Just accept who you are, there’s way more beta males than there are alpha males and real women want you more anyway.
Be proud, be BETA!
If your beta, don’t have children. You would just pass all the pain you felt to your sons. Now when they grow up, they will also get teased and have their girlfriends took by alphas. Be mindful of the future! End this. I’ve planned on ending my family line as a beta. I’m the last boy and plan on having no children. I hope I just die soon and be at peace finally
Although I understand your point, that’s a bit dramatic.
Hi Dr. Sue,
Great article. I would agree with you on almost every point. As an alpha male, I never tried too hard to get women. The point you made about a large penis is accurate. It gives us an unwavering confidence. We are very sure of ourselves because of our endowment. Even when women try to belittle us, it is of no use! We know the scarcity of being a good looking alpha male. It is not as available as a good looking fertile woman. Besides, we get all the resources, so we walk through life with a bit of carelessness while most of our male friends are ambitious to please women at every turn due to their small peckers!
So it’s okay to be a submissive male who gives money, and sacrifices himself, to his wife just to be dominated against and cucked behind his back? What kind of life would that be? This is one of many reasons why many men are MGTOW instead of trying to be alpha.
First of all if you had any knowledge on the subject you would know that cuckolding is not something done behind someone’s back, it’s a lifestyle between a couple that has nothing to do with the outside world. No different than swinging but swinging is acceptable because in your mind it doesn’t ‘hurt men.’ This MGTOW acronym is just the point of what I was saying. WHAT’S WRONG WITH MEN GOING THEIR OWN WAY!! If a male CHOOSES to be submissive or is innately submissive why can’t you just let them live their lives, their way? Why do all males have to alpha? That’s the point of article. Live and let live. If a man feels submissive, LET HIM FEEL IT. No one should have to FORCED to be alpha or submissive. But they also shouldn’t have to be made to feel shame over their choice which is what you and your MGTOW friends are doing. And the use of the word, ‘purifier’ in your email speaks volumes about your mind-set.
The downside to alpha males is that they’re too cocky, arrogant, and tend to clash with dominant females. This is precisely the reason why dominant women only fuck alpha males and then kick them to the curb. A dominant woman living with an alpha male can get very ugly and rarely works. That’s why dominant women would rather be with the submissive male except for sex.
You said the down side of alpha males is that they tend to clash with dominant females WHY? there’s a thing called ego when ego is triggered man or a woman dominant or submissive they will have clashe’s it has nothing to do with beta male or alpha male even a submissive guy has an ego or simply put self esteem self respect its not like beta males don’t respect their selves every human being has self respect if you hurt someones ego you will most definitely have many many clashes with him or her NOW THE PROBLEM is WHY does it hurt your ego WHY does a woman that “wants” to be submissive to a dominant man an alpha male would not want to live with an alpha male but instead would live with a beta male even though she doesnot “ACTUALLY” respect him as a “REAL MAN” i will tell you why that is because a woman who is trying to be an alpha is “TRYING” to be an alpha she is not an alpha you said there is nothing worse then a beta trying to be an alpha well guess what an a woman can never be ACTUALLY an alpha she can only try to be an alpha AKA dominant why would i say that well im just listening to what you just said your definition of an alpha is broad shouldered big penis defined bone structure AKA bigger stronger bones and all that well A WOMAN is non of that she is not stronger then men she does not have bigger stronger bones she does not have broader shoulders she don’t even have a penis don’t even talk about size she don’t even have balls forget about having a penis what the hell are you guys doing YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELVES a woman should not be ashamed of being a woman she should not be ashamed of being who she ACTUALLY is she should not be ashamed of being submissive to a man because there is nothing wrong FOR A WOMAN to be submissive to a man and the opposite goes for men A MAN should not be submissive to woman clearly written by the writer women don’t respect submissive men as simple as that if you are a man and you want women to respect you you should not be submissive to women and don’t be like you were born that way for god sake you having a small penis does not mean you were born to be a beta male haaaaaaaaaaaaaaah such stupidity exists it surprises me a man should not be submissive to a woman and i don’t mean that he should be arrogant disrespectful and all that a relationship has its building blocks one of them is mutual respect you should respect your woman and she should respect you but SHE WONT and SHE SHOULD NOT respect a Beta SUBMISSIVE man….
I think we need to scotch the myth that true submissive males are inferior. They are no more inferior than any other orientation; indeed opening up and breaking the male conditioning society forces on boys takes true courage.
pete
The hive analogy is interesting.
So let me just try and lay out the reproductive pattern, as I understand it:
Princess grows up, leaves home, finds a foreign hive, picks one drone (usually by seeing which can follow her highest), then sets herself up elsewhere.
Thus goes her coronation to Queen.
She’ll make some workers (infertile) to support her, drones to pass on half her genes to the offspring of visiting Princesses, and the occasional home-grown Princess to go pass half her genes on to the offspring of foreign drones.
So I suppose we have in that situation male and female, monogamous seed-spreaders, and celibate supporters of Mum, and their more virile siblings. (Dad died early, Mum can keep fertilizing eggs with one batch of seed so, after one fuck, he’d expended his utility)
Generally with primates, the “Princesses” leaving their group of origin to attract a mate from another group, are male, while the “drones” are female. The Alpha/Beta hypothesis, presented as Drone-or-Princess/Worker proposes that within families, there are also individuals who are, shall we say, calibrated, to aid in raising younger siblings (who start new families), without competing with them for mates.
The thing is, humans take ages to grow up to the point where they’re helpful in raising younger siblings. Even if they don’t get particularly athletic and fertile, they’re too big an investment to not go start new families themselves, once they’ve learned to do it.
I’ll concede that some people are better, right from the start, at being athletic and sexy, that those traits can lead to cockiness, getting used to being in charge, and feeling less need to be appreciated in other ways, so sure, there’s a spectrum to lie on from Alpha to Beta.
On the topic of what to try to be, or not, I think one should try to be at least somewhat athletic regardless of whether you actually have a talent for it, enjoy the sweep of movement, the exciting and relieving peaks and drops of intensity, the floaty light-headed-ness of, at least mild, exhaustion. No it won’t give you a commanding presence, but athleticism improves emotional stability, hardiness, speed of wit, and, yes, your sexiness.
Oh, and learn to get your opinion across, even if you’re not in charge, extra ideas and constructive criticism go a long way to making things better for everyone.
If you find it easy to be sexy and confident and taking the lead, good for you, but pride in what you find easy, sitting on your laurels, is a disservice to everyone, so become a better, the best, version of yourself, you’re worth it after all. Good leadership is wonderful, but if you’re goal oriented and taking (willing) advantage of people, remember to pay attention and empathy to us as well, we need patience and consideration, some tact and sensitivity, to get the most out of ourselves.
Dr. Sue, Thank you for your advice. I am a beta who is bi and has feminine feelings ( if that’s the right way to express it ). I am very interested in FLR and am intrigued by the cuck life as I read about it. I am new to your site and am looking for help. thanks again j
It is far from OK to be a sub male or beta as you like to say. We are weak physically and emotionally. Women may be polite to our faces, as you are, tells we are worthwhile as a person, but then take delight in ridiculing us to the female or alpha male friends. Women would get rid of us in a second for the alpha male. If there is nothing worse than a “beta male” who thinks hes “alpha”. Its a woman who says she likes “admires and respects a betas submissiveness and then fucks the first alpha they see.
I have known that I had a very small penis since age 10. I thought puberty would make me at leasted average sized when I had an erection. But my older sisters who knew a lot more about sex said I was what I was ( small penised) and to learn to accept it and try to compensate every way to please the girls.
I took their advise in earnest and now my aim is to always please them both in and out of the bedroom.
I still wish I were an alpha man, but I have learned to be a good beta even with a very small penis. And I never even try to pretend that I’m big.
Iam for the most part a straight male. Iam small in penis size and things like humiliation , being put in my place, losing the fist fight for the girl make my little five inch dick so happy. I shave knowingly that’s being submissive in itself because I’m trying to tell the real men that I know better. I know you out would beat me, I know you get the girl or even my girl, I can’t compete . I shave to tell them that I’m a boy not a man. I love big black dicks and think there is nothing sexier than knowing ur place and not barking back. Plus. Don’t want a bruising . Am I for sure a sub beta? I’m not gay but if a big huge black penis were here right now I’d want us both to be nude…so we both know he’s boss. Maybe I’d go over his knee for a beating then he could take my bare white cunt ass.
This was a fantastic article Dr. Sue, from personal experience I can say you’re correct. I spent high school and part of college trying to be an alpha, and failing miserably. I was lying to myself and making excuses as to why it wasn’t working for me, I was absolutely not having a good time and was hating life. I had been with a few girls that lied when I asked them if they thought i had a big dick or was a good lay, back then I foolishly believed them and it only confused me. then I met my future wife and everything changed, we hit it off and she was very dominant both in the bedroom and in our regular lives, she knocked me down a few pegs and it was a revelation. I wasn’t an alpha, I am a beta, I have a small penis and am terrible in bed, but I’m a great provider, i’m loving, caring and considerate. The increase in my quality of life and happiness once I came to terms with who and what I am, was immense and I can honestly say I’ve never been more happy. So I completely agree with your declaration that there is nothing worse than a beta who thinks he’s an alpha, not only worse for everyone around him, but for himself too. Thank you so much for helping to share your wisdom and hopefully changing the way some guys think.
Justin thank you for telling us your story. I can’t be more pleased that you found peace with who you are. I just wish we would raise our children to be who they want to be not what we think they should be and all of this wouldn’t even be an issue. You prove my point that IT’S OK TO BE BETA! IT’S OK TO BE SUBMISSIVE! Own it! It doesn’t make you less of a person and in my personal opinion it makes you MORE of a valuable person. Bravo Justin and enjoy your life as you love it.