You better believe it! Most people, because they don’t understand the subtle differences, lump all of this in to one category when it fact they are distinctly different.
Men who Crossdress or CD as you’ll see it sometimes represented, enjoy the feel of being dressed in women’s clothes. In most cases these men are heterosexual and are usually in relationships. They may dress in their partner’s clothing or go and buy their own. They may keep their desires hidden or they may be in a relationship where their partner allows them to be who they want to be with no consequences. Some go as far as wearing make-up and wigs etc but honestly for the most part they don’t, it’s just the clothing they enjoy. They usually have no desire to have any surgery such as breast augmentation or sexual re-assignment done. They’re perfectly happy keeping what’s between their legs.
To be Feminized is completely different. A man who enjoys being feminized likes the idea of being transformed in a woman usually by another more dominant woman. They look at it as almost being a caterpillar in a cocoon just waiting to be the beautiful butterfly. The idea of a dominant woman turning them in to a creation is the turn-on. They sometimes fantasize about being taken under a woman’s control and completely waxed head-to-toe, dressed in beautiful pieces of lingerie, having the woman do their make-up, hair and nails, even down to the jewelry and then unveiling them in the end. It’s a literal transformation which is why you’ll see it referred to as ‘being feminized’ as opposed to being feminine. There are subtle psychological differences between a man wanting to be feminized and a man who cross dresses. And again these gentlemen rarely want to have any surgery to look more female.
Now if I take it a step further and bring Trannies in to the mix we get in to even more psychological differences. A male who is Transsexual (and women too but we primarily discuss the boys on this site) feels that they are female. That they are the opposite of what their physiological or biological gender is dictating. It could be likened to being trapped in a body that isn’t their own or just doesn’t feel right. When they transform themselves they feel right or ‘normal.’ One could argue that somewhere in the genetic stew things got scrambled. They have a female brain and a male body. Are they gay? Well that is a chicken and the egg argument. Some would say yes that because they are biologically male and may be sexually attracted to men that it would make them gay but really again I say, let’s stop putting everyone in to neat little boxes. Nothing in sexuality is that black and white.
Most transsexuals keep their genitalia as is. Many transsexuals get breast augmentation, voice box shaving, hair removal and hormone treatments but again not all. I always say you get the best of both worlds in many trannies because they’re usually stunningly beautiful and have the added bonus of a dick.
Transgendered individuals are those who go for sexual re-assignment and become the new gender of their choice, men in to women, women in to men but usually go through a long psychological battle through most of the above areas before reaching this decision. This is not some fetish or hobby as could be argued about feminization and cross dressing. It is a very long process that involves a lot of thought processing, therapy and hormone treatments. It should never be entered in to lightly or as a joke as I see many Dommes do, fooling around with hormones and such with their submissives. And the journey is not fun, it’s difficult and arduous.
As you probably noticed I say ‘may or may not’ a lot in all my articles. That’s because as I stated earlier sexuality is not black and white there is an enormous gray area that has to be considered. Some of those I tried to categorize will blend and cross over in to other areas. That’s why I always remind everyone that we MUST as a society stop labeling everything. Will it happen in our lifetime, probably not but instead of trying to categorize everything let’s try, every once in a while, to let everyone be who they want to be on their own terms instead of ours. We’re all here to experience joy, whatever your personal joy may be has nothing to do with anyone else. Ah in a perfect world!
Great i learned a lot really thank you Mistress
Possibly but I am hell bent on experiencing more.. And I am actively looking… Ill bet everyone needs more emotionally and sexually than they get really… Ill bet even you Dr Sue.
Hi Dr. Sue..
Your correct about not placing people in nice little boxes. As you know (Because you know me) I am more than just a CD. My SO knows about the crossdressing, She knows about the wigs and heels and makeup. She doesn’t like it for sure but accepts that this is who I am.
However I am more interested in feminization. I shave all my body hair and am thinking about laser. I would kill for breast augmentation.
As you know I am Bi curious but not Bi (have never been with a male) I am more on the sub side than dom for sure although both would be fun.
I long to be in a relationship with a Female or MF couple where I can start to take on a more permanent female role as a house wife or house maid/servant. Cuckolding was also a fantasy that really peaked my interests however my SO was not and would never be into that. I am always in lingerie even when we make love. I know she would prefer that not be the case so I would have gladly welcomed another guy in to give her what she longed for. What you don’t know is that we were going to try that once a very long time ago.. He came over to our home when we lived in Toronto and he was all over her. All he wanted from me was a BJ. And I started. But then I felt real left out and left the room. I wanted more out of the experience.
At one time it looked as though, at least for experimentation purposes I was going to get to play the Enfemme Bull to a couple who I consider very close friends however they chickened out and it fell apart.
Although I may never get to play or experiment I will say I agree we should all let people be who they need to be. Repression only creates an unhappy life for everyone. The key would be to allow everyone to do what they need to do but for everyone to be honest about what is going on. I feel as long as there is honesty most other things can be worked out.
So really I cross into all of the categories your talking about. You would think me being bi curious, able to please both sexes and able to switch to dom when needed that I would have a team of people wanting me lol.. Sadly the answer is nobody does. Sadly no Female wants to be with a CD. And no male wants a long term commitment with one just a one nighter.
I love your articles and of course I love you! You’re a great friend!
I love you too! And sadly you’re complaints are commonly felt by most in your situation. I hear more and more about men who want to try new things or just be themselves and they can’t for whatever reason. Or single men who want someone in their lives who would enjoy the same things they do but they just can’t seem to find anyone. Unfortunately our society isn’t tolerant of any thing or any one they feel isn’t, ‘normal’. But as I always say, “what is normal?” It’s a completely relative term.
The other thing that is really missing from this excellent topic (of which I have a very close interest in) is Sissy’s.
Sissy’s have an added need to be treated as female. They prefer to be all prettied up by the woman or even man or both and then perform the fem role as well. They want to be asked to perform house cleaning, cooking, dishes, perform wifely duties for their husbands or partners while they enjoy being taken care of themselves around the house. Often times they want to be led into the bedroom to satisfy their husbands as well. sometimes while joining themselves or often while they relax and watch television down stairs…
Some of these sissy’s dream of taking on the roll in a more permanent status often times working and providing their income to the couple. Some oddly enough have even preferred to be in a prostitution style situation where the couple invites other couples or guys in for her to please and they are financially remunerated for it.
Most sissy’s prefer to be dressed in the more extreme version of en femme with more slutty clothing than an experienced transgender person would prefer to wear. Most real transgendered people have gone through the slutty clothes phase and are onto more fitting clothing that allows them to draw less attention so they can still seek out a more socially exposed life as a female.
At this moment anyhow I fall more in the Sissy area of transgendered.
Hope to read more about all this here. Sadly its all I get now a days…