I sure hope when your husband asked you to cuckold him that you found this site relatively early in your search for cuckolding information because there is a lot of crazy stuff on the internet that could scare the bejesus out of you. And most of the more prurient information you find on cuckolding is coming from men. What I discuss here is a more sane approach to cuckolding that I call Common Sense Cuckolding. It’s a more laid-back way of looking at the cuckold lifestyle.
But first, let me apologize on behalf of your boyfriend or hubby for the way he dumped this on you, depending of course on how he did it. Many men tend to find themselves getting turned on by the idea of cuckolding to the point where they forget that you, his partner, are not on the same page, your man being miles ahead of you wondering why you aren’t as excited as he is. They forget that they have been looking at this type of porn or reading about it for years and you’ve never even heard the term cuckold before. So I’m sorry if the concept of cuckolding was just barfed on you with no background or context other than your man wants you to have sex with other men. I’m also sorry if your partner dumping this idea on you has made you feel “less than.” I can assure you that you feeling disposable is in no way what cuckolding is about, but it’s completely understandable if you’ve been left to feel this way. Hopefully I can make you feel better about what he’s asked you to do and why.
If your guy just said he thinks it would be hot if you had sex with other guys I want you to know that is a very simplistic and pornographic way of putting that he wants you to cuckold him. What I mean by that is, it’s a very self-centered view of what cuckolding is. It tells me that your guy is thinking only of how it makes him feel and not about you. Doesn’t mean he’s doing it on purpose but it shows you where his head is at and what needs to be corrected.
Cuckolding, despite what he may think, is not about him getting to rub one out while you fuck other guys. It’s about YOU taking control of your sex life and designing it the way YOU want it. So before we go any further, if the idea of you fucking other men makes you want to vomit, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT. Just because your man brings you the idea, doesn’t mean you have to fulfill it. And there are ways to compromise in cuckolding without you having sex with other guys. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
So we’re clear, if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. And gentlemen, if your wife says, “Hell No,” after FINISHING this article, then you respect that and find a compromise. But before you close the book on the idea I want you to give me a bit of your time to show you that it’s not as bad as it may be playing out in your head.
I think it might be easier for you to understand the concept of cuckolding if I discuss why your man is interested in the idea in the first place. Because I have no doubt that you were left at some point thinking, “where the hell did all this come from?”
We, as a society, still raise our kids in a very archaic manner. We insist that our boys be tough, show no emotion and always be in control. “Walk it off.” “Be a man.” We bark this shit at our males all the time. And in the same vein, we still raise all our female children to be good, submissive little girls. We haven’t strayed from this for millennia but the irony is, most men are not alpha males, they are sexually submissive males made to pretend and “play the game” their whole lives. Deep inside there’s nothing they want more than to drop all the macho crap and let YOU take the controls for a while. And because we, as women, are not raised to be aggressive we miss out a lot of fun on the other side.
Put yourself in a sexually submissive male’s position. He has to pretend to be an alpha male to get you to notice him in the first place. He HAS to be an alpha male in the work place. Then he has to pretend to be an alpha male to try to sexually satisfy you. It’s a hard way to live. It’s no wonder men live shorter lives than women.
If your man has brought the idea of cuckolding to you the chances are very high that he’s sexually submissive. Does it mean he doesn’t love you? Absolutely not. If he’s coming from a place of genuine submissiveness he’ll be doing this because the idea of you being sexually satisfied in ways he cannot provide arouses him. And when you think about it, given that most men are sexually submissive and are forced to play the game, wouldn’t it be a huge relief to have that one thing taken off your plate of demands, even if it’s just a few times a year?
Because men are forced to pretend to be alpha guys just to get a woman in the first place, when your man comes to you and says, “Honey, I’d really like to see you have sex with other guys,” it hits you like a two by four between the eyes because you get a glimpse of the guy he really is and you feel like you’ve been duped because no alpha male in his right mind would dream of sharing his woman. But remember if he didn’t present himself that way you would never have given him a second look and that’s because we, as women, are looking for the alpha guy and to be fair, that’s coming from an instinctive need to procreate with someone who can move the species forward. It’s all game playing that’s being done on a sub-conscious level by the time you’re an adult. So try not to be mad it’s all part of living within our sociological system.
So where does this leave you? Well, right now you’re probably in decision mode because it’s still a weird concept. You could be wondering if the whole thing is a set-up. That’s a common response as well. I mean what guy in his right mind, like I said before, would allow his wife to fuck another man? There is no way this is real. It’s a test to see if I would cheat on him. Or, he just wants to fuck other women and wants to feel better about it. And those two thoughts are fair game. They are an expected and totally normal response. So let’s address them.
If you think this might be a set-up to see if you would cheat on your man that tells me that you don’t have a very trusting relationship and you don’t want to be considering any alternative lifestyle at this point in your life. And yes, I said it was a common response but that’s because there are a lot of folks in relationships that aren’t healthy. Ok so, if you think that this is all a game and you’re being played you need to work on that lack of trust issue. Because if he’s the type to be suspicious enough to try to trap you and you’re the type to think he would do that, what does that say to you?
As for the, he wants to fuck other women, thought, if he wanted to just fuck other women he would have brought you the idea of swinging, not cuckolding.
If you’re feeling like your man just wants to throw you away, that again, not true. It’s the exact opposite. He’s actually being vulnerable. He’s saying to you that he knows he sucks in bed, or that his dick is too small or whatever his personal reason is, but that he wants you to still be this beautiful sexual being. He knows he doesn’t rock your world the way it should be rocked. He doesn’t want to lose you. He wants to see you fulfilled.
Now some of you will be think that this is just silly. His dick size is just fine and so is your sex life. But I want you to really think about that for a minute. Be honest with yourself. Because usually when I press a woman she will confess that the sex wasn’t all that great but it’s adequate and so what if his dick isn’t that big he’s a good guy, great dad, doesn’t cheat and pays the bills. And that right there is the mating call of the ‘settled housewife.’
This is the coma that most women end up in through no fault of their own. Their husbands bitch that their wives no longer want to fuck them when they are the reason why. If a woman can shelve her sex life, it wasn’t that great to begin with. So either your dick is small and forgettable or you never did anything in the bedroom that made her want more.
Women love sex, some won’t admit that but they do. I’ve seen women begin to feel alive again when they take a lover. It is, as cliché as it sounds, like watching a dry flower perk up after it gets some water poured on it. And this crap about menopause is just that, crap. Yes you have to work more to have sex post-menopause, like using lube and being a bit more gentle, but there’s no reason for your sex drive to die and trust me ladies, with the right guy, it doesn’t.
This isn’t about replacing your husband, it’s about every once in a while taking the lover of your choice and either having sex in front of your husband or telling him about it later. Everyone is different in how they like to play that. And by every once in a while I’m not talking about every day or even every week.
Cuckolding is about female empowerment. It’s about taking your relationship and molding it to suite your needs. It’s about doing something men have done forever, our way. Whether you choose to make your relationship completely female led and you live a lifestyle dominant/submissive life 24/7, or you choose to occasionally have sex with a guy a few times a year for special occasions, the point is it’s YOUR CHOICE. The only real rules are that he DOESN’T get to fuck other women and you are the supreme ruler. You can create this in any way you want.
And if the thought of having sex with another man really does make your skin crawl because it’s not part of who you are, that’s okay too. You can still have fun using sex toys. You simply buy a dildo the size you want it that’s bigger than your husband, name it, and then there’s your third party. Your husband still gets to see you opened up by a bigger dick. He gets to be the one who facilitates it by being in control of the dildo and you can role play how much you love “Big Bob” inside of you. Everybody’s happy.
You’re going to keep searching the internet and you’ll see all sorts of crazy stuff being touted as the only way to cuckold etc. There’s a ton of terminology and jargon. Don’t get caught up in that. Just look at it as ideas. You can take them and use them or not. But don’t just throw the whole idea out the window without giving it some serious thought first. Take it all at your own pace and create this the way YOU want. Not the way some website or male is telling you to do it.
More information about Cuckolding:
Common Sense Cuckolding
Cuckolding Pitfalls
Cuckolding Lies Uncovered
What do you think? Sound off in the comments below.
Love this perspective and down to earth commentary. I’ve been asking my wife to cuckold me for a decade with absolutely no reciprocal interest. She knows it’s my fantasy but has no desire to indulge it. Thank you for exposing my self centeredness and the obvious problem that she’d be doing this for me and not her, ironically inverting the whole idea. In the past we had a long term sexual relationship with her best friend and occasionally she had sex with both her and her husband. Although I never participated with the 3 of them, just threesomes with her friend, she was very accommodating in telling me about it. I’m going to have her read this article and try to approach her from that perspective. We have always been direct, honest and totally committed in our relationship, respecting each other’s desires, pursuits, relationships and interests. While our sex life is adequate I really feel adding this kind of spice could up our intensity and her ultimate enjoyment. She’s still attracted to good looking men and never fails to point them out (and women for that matter). To me, the potential still exists and I’m gonna try to have another but different conversation about it. Your opinion here is much appreciated.
Let me ask you this Willy. Why are men never satisfied with what they have? Most of you are lucky to have a woman in your life at all, but then you guys have to push and push and push for more, more, MORE! I am very serious about this question. Feel free to comment.
My husband asked me to do this recently and it made me feel terrible. Like I am not enough for him just being me…..or that me and him being together alone isn’t doing it for him. This article has helped some because it made me think more about him however I don’t want other men. I truly am happy with him. He does get me off and I love him. I really really love him and that’s the only reason I even considered it. Even though I know it would hurt me. It wouldn’t be sexual satisfying for me. I couldn’t stand the thought of him with another women so him wanting me to be with another man is a hard pill to swallow for me. So I don’t think it would work especially after reading what cuckolding really is and how it works well for people. The woman being in control and the man getting aroused by being submissive. I wouldn’t be I just want him. He has issues with his penis size. I don’t. Really I don’t fantasize about bigger men or any of that.
Anyways He was drinking with a friend and crossed a line the other night when they were both drunk and showed this single friend nudes of me without my permission or knowledge and the guy said I was hot/beautiful and so forth etc and he would love to suck my tits and that really excited him. So he asked me to let him and he told me he showed the pictures and he was really attracted to me and to be open and more sexual and thought I would be excited about it too. But it’s just messed me up in the head worse. I’m feeling used and really sad. I don’t know how to get over this. Or what to do to get it out of my head. I told him no and that I don’t want that and he said ok and that he’s sorry and that he doesn’t know why he is turned on by the idea of me with other men, but now I’m left feeling bad about myself and don’t want to lose our marriage. I value it above all else.
My now husband is very interested in cuckolding and we have done it a few times. This all started because in the beginning of our relationship when it wasn’t serious I slept with another guy on lunch then ended up meeting him afterwards, he ate my pussy full of this other guys cum. It turned us both on but we didn’t talk about it. Later in our relationship, we were having problems and I started sleeping with that same guy occasionally but over a couple years. I told my husband about it. He now wants me to find a consistent “bf” so that the relationship I had behind his back can somewhat be recreated and he be apart of it, feel included. He feels this will help him get over me lying to him. But he also wants me to cuckold him. I do get turned on by it but it’s hard to be mean humiliating and dominant sometimes. I’m naturally a care giver and submissive. Please help
Hello Beautiful!
First let me start off by saying, I’m sorry your husband is treating you so disrespectfully.
Cuckolding is NOT about you having another bf. It’s NOT about making your husband happy. It’s about YOU and what YOU want. If you don’t want to do this, then tell him no.
He is emotionally manipulating you with this, ‘you lied,’ bullshit. Either he liked it or he didn’t, he can’t have it both ways.
Your husband is being selfish, narcissistic, and to get his own way he is gaslighting you. Not unusual for this type of male. I’ve seen it time and again.
Of course you don’t want to humiliate him, you love him, this is what these idiots don’t get. They watch so much porn that their minds are busted. They think it’s supposed to go the way they see on Porn Hub. That is not reality.
You have to decide what YOU want, not what he wants. If you want to do this, then do it, but if you don’t tell him no and don’t let him manipulate you into doing what he wants.
If it were me, I’d put him in chastity. Lock his porn down. And get him to put his focus where it should be, ON YOU! Not his stupid, pathetic little dick.
And YES, I get mad when I hear this garbage because it’s so beyond what you do to someone you allegedly love.
And if he starts to manipulate you more because YOU WON’T DO IT, then you need to re-think your relationship and possibly give him the heave ho.
Three years into a monogamous relationship, a guy I vaguely know told me he and four others had gangbanged my girlfriend years before I met her. It wasn’t fun to hear, partly because the men are all pretty low rent, partly as she’d hidden it from me. I asked her about it later and she said it was true and she’d been in gangbangs quite a few times, with different groups, including three men she met at a festival and ended up with them and others having sex in groups, one after the other, many times, over a few days.
I’m fairly open minded and had group sex in the past, but her experiences were a lot to take in. She also started making obvious hints that she’d enjoy more experiences with groups of men, either with me, or with my blessing. Then she suddenly asked for an open relationship. I felt she asked because she’d either cheated or had a man in mind. She was always very jealous of my female friends and I knew if I actually had sex with another woman she wouldn’t cope well. I didn’t agree to open our relationship, but did instigate a threesome with a male friend. She jumped at the chance without hesitation. I decided to arrange a gangbang, spending a couple of months vetting potential men. She was happy about that. I had to be very assertive that I couldn’t agree to her having sex with men without me.
Unfortunately, even though she had pushed for me to accept her desire for group sex with other men, she later turned it against me. She claimed that if I loved her I wouldn’t have agreed.
I was fortunate enough that my wife started cuckolding me without talking about it first. I came home one day, and when walking past the bedroom window, saw my neighbor fucking her. I saw his balls contract as he cum inside of her. I quietly left, so I wouldn’t disturb them. Once I knew they were fucking, I made sure to give them plenty opportunities to be alone together. I didn’t want to spoil their fun, thinking they were getting away with fucking without me knowing.
One day when I was watching them fuck through the window, I just couldn’t resist letting them know I knew what was going on. I quietly entered the house, took off my clothes, and entered the bedroom. I sat on a chair where I could watch, and stroked my cock. When I saw that he was cumming inside of her, I stood up, and went to the foot of the bed. When he rolled off of her, they both saw me, and started freaking out. I didn’t say a word, instead I got between her legs, and started licking her clean of his semen. I then leaned over, took his cock in my mouth, and started sucking. My wife didn’t know I suck cock, but my neighbor did, as we had sucked each other many times before.
Once I had him hard again, I told him to keep fucking her as much as he liked, and I told my wife it was okay for her to have as much cock as she wants. She now has two more men who fuck her regularly, and I have brought a couple guys home to fuck her.
There is no reason that having other men’s cocks in your wife should bother you. It takes nothing away from the love you have for each other.
That’s not cuckolding, that’s cheating. It defeats the purpose of what this is all about. OPEN COMMUNICATION. She is simply lucky that you didn’t freak out because you should have, she was lying to you.
When my wife finally agreed to cuckold me after eight months of asking during very exciting sexual activity, I was both elated and scared! I really didn’t know what to expect. She met a sales rep from work who was 26 and my wife is a very attractive 41 years old! I really mean she is pretty and sexy.
She was stroking me off when she whispered that she will accept cuckolding me and while stroking me she described the guy and why she wants him to fuck her. She said this and that and then she said she may have him impregnate her and I came so hard, I shot a stream six feet in the air.
She was astonished that the idea sent me over the edge. She has been fucking him for about a year and she told me a few nights ago while I was cleaning her that she was stopping birth control. I’m waiting to see what occurs. She is spending the night with him and will come home and tell me all about it while I reclaim her and clean her.
How descriptive of you.
I felt it would be beneficial to describe the path the relationship had taken since we began the lifestyle! I don’t know what to think if she were to become pregnant by this guy. He’s about six feet, three inches and according to my wife he has me well beat in the area of endowment! He is also a gent of color so if she were to become pregnant, it would be obvious!
I was being facetious. No one needs to know that you ejaculated you could have made your point without being crude. Add to that, you have sexualized having a bi-racial baby and that is sick. So carry on but know this, your marriage won’t last the way you’re doing this. Good luck.
I met my girlfriend 9 years ago, from the start she told me I didn’t turn her on sexually ,and that she would seek other men for sex. I agreed . She teases me by having me clean her house naked, then when I’m done she just says ‘I’m done with you ” and sends me home..
She has me take for drives in the country and casually mentions having good sex with some guy. I have come to accept it . I’m getting older now, and although we never hold hands or kiss, I respect her very much.
I’m wondering about asking her to marry me . It would be a total FLR and loveless for me, but it would be better than being lonely ,as I live alone now. I think it’s possible she would marry me because she tells me how she depends on me all the time . She does not drive ,and I’m her stand by ride ,and errand boy. I live about 45 minutes away and she often told me I should live closer so I’d be there when she wants me. She has joked several times about keeping me caged own in the basement so I’d be handy . Not much would change except I’d have a room in her house . I think the world of her ,and I’d be happy living that way , hopefully not caged .
Me and my wife, Cindy, are in a cuckold relationship. Cindy is training me to be more and more submissive. Cindy told me that I am no longer to fuck her. She will get her orgasms fom other men. Even while I’m at work.
How common does a wife in a cuckolding relationship replace her husband in bed ?
Just want you to know that I support my wife in denying men her pussy for the rest of our mairrage. Please respond
It has been my experience that once you stop having sex, your relationship is over.
Do you think that a wife that initially balks that the idea but who in the past cheated on a previous husband for better sex may eventually change her mind on cuckolding and embrace it?
Perhaps. For some women the idea of it isn’t something they’re interested in. She sounds like a good candidate but again, if she doesn’t want to do it, you have to accept that and move on.
This here…Thank you for the empathetic understanding:
“Put yourself in a sexually submissive male’s position. He has to pretend to be an alpha male to get you to notice him in the first place. He HAS to be an alpha male in the work place. Then he has to pretend to be an alpha male to try to sexually satisfy you. It’s a hard way to live.”