I sure hope when your husband asked you to cuckold him that you found this site relatively early in your search for cuckolding information because there is a lot of crazy stuff on the internet that could scare the bejesus out of you. And most of the more prurient information you find on cuckolding is coming from men. What I discuss here is a more sane approach to cuckolding that I call Common Sense Cuckolding. It’s a more laid-back way of looking at the cuckold lifestyle.
But first, let me apologize on behalf of your boyfriend or hubby for the way he dumped this on you, depending of course on how he did it. Many men tend to find themselves getting turned on by the idea of cuckolding to the point where they forget that you, his partner, are not on the same page, your man being miles ahead of you wondering why you aren’t as excited as he is. They forget that they have been looking at this type of porn or reading about it for years and you’ve never even heard the term cuckold before. So I’m sorry if the concept of cuckolding was just barfed on you with no background or context other than your man wants you to have sex with other men. I’m also sorry if your partner dumping this idea on you has made you feel “less than.” I can assure you that you feeling disposable is in no way what cuckolding is about, but it’s completely understandable if you’ve been left to feel this way. Hopefully I can make you feel better about what he’s asked you to do and why.
If your guy just said he thinks it would be hot if you had sex with other guys I want you to know that is a very simplistic and pornographic way of putting that he wants you to cuckold him. What I mean by that is, it’s a very self-centered view of what cuckolding is. It tells me that your guy is thinking only of how it makes him feel and not about you. Doesn’t mean he’s doing it on purpose but it shows you where his head is at and what needs to be corrected.
Cuckolding, despite what he may think, is not about him getting to rub one out while you fuck other guys. It’s about YOU taking control of your sex life and designing it the way YOU want it. So before we go any further, if the idea of you fucking other men makes you want to vomit, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT. Just because your man brings you the idea, doesn’t mean you have to fulfill it. And there are ways to compromise in cuckolding without you having sex with other guys. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
So we’re clear, if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. And gentlemen, if your wife says, “Hell No,” after FINISHING this article, then you respect that and find a compromise. But before you close the book on the idea I want you to give me a bit of your time to show you that it’s not as bad as it may be playing out in your head.
I think it might be easier for you to understand the concept of cuckolding if I discuss why your man is interested in the idea in the first place. Because I have no doubt that you were left at some point thinking, “where the hell did all this come from?”
We, as a society, still raise our kids in a very archaic manner. We insist that our boys be tough, show no emotion and always be in control. “Walk it off.” “Be a man.” We bark this shit at our males all the time. And in the same vein, we still raise all our female children to be good, submissive little girls. We haven’t strayed from this for millennia but the irony is, most men are not alpha males, they are sexually submissive males made to pretend and “play the game” their whole lives. Deep inside there’s nothing they want more than to drop all the macho crap and let YOU take the controls for a while. And because we, as women, are not raised to be aggressive we miss out a lot of fun on the other side.
Put yourself in a sexually submissive male’s position. He has to pretend to be an alpha male to get you to notice him in the first place. He HAS to be an alpha male in the work place. Then he has to pretend to be an alpha male to try to sexually satisfy you. It’s a hard way to live. It’s no wonder men live shorter lives than women.
If your man has brought the idea of cuckolding to you the chances are very high that he’s sexually submissive. Does it mean he doesn’t love you? Absolutely not. If he’s coming from a place of genuine submissiveness he’ll be doing this because the idea of you being sexually satisfied in ways he cannot provide arouses him. And when you think about it, given that most men are sexually submissive and are forced to play the game, wouldn’t it be a huge relief to have that one thing taken off your plate of demands, even if it’s just a few times a year?
Because men are forced to pretend to be alpha guys just to get a woman in the first place, when your man comes to you and says, “Honey, I’d really like to see you have sex with other guys,” it hits you like a two by four between the eyes because you get a glimpse of the guy he really is and you feel like you’ve been duped because no alpha male in his right mind would dream of sharing his woman. But remember if he didn’t present himself that way you would never have given him a second look and that’s because we, as women, are looking for the alpha guy and to be fair, that’s coming from an instinctive need to procreate with someone who can move the species forward. It’s all game playing that’s being done on a sub-conscious level by the time you’re an adult. So try not to be mad it’s all part of living within our sociological system.
So where does this leave you? Well, right now you’re probably in decision mode because it’s still a weird concept. You could be wondering if the whole thing is a set-up. That’s a common response as well. I mean what guy in his right mind, like I said before, would allow his wife to fuck another man? There is no way this is real. It’s a test to see if I would cheat on him. Or, he just wants to fuck other women and wants to feel better about it. And those two thoughts are fair game. They are an expected and totally normal response. So let’s address them.
If you think this might be a set-up to see if you would cheat on your man that tells me that you don’t have a very trusting relationship and you don’t want to be considering any alternative lifestyle at this point in your life. And yes, I said it was a common response but that’s because there are a lot of folks in relationships that aren’t healthy. Ok so, if you think that this is all a game and you’re being played you need to work on that lack of trust issue. Because if he’s the type to be suspicious enough to try to trap you and you’re the type to think he would do that, what does that say to you?
As for the, he wants to fuck other women, thought, if he wanted to just fuck other women he would have brought you the idea of swinging, not cuckolding.
If you’re feeling like your man just wants to throw you away, that again, not true. It’s the exact opposite. He’s actually being vulnerable. He’s saying to you that he knows he sucks in bed, or that his dick is too small or whatever his personal reason is, but that he wants you to still be this beautiful sexual being. He knows he doesn’t rock your world the way it should be rocked. He doesn’t want to lose you. He wants to see you fulfilled.
Now some of you will be think that this is just silly. His dick size is just fine and so is your sex life. But I want you to really think about that for a minute. Be honest with yourself. Because usually when I press a woman she will confess that the sex wasn’t all that great but it’s adequate and so what if his dick isn’t that big he’s a good guy, great dad, doesn’t cheat and pays the bills. And that right there is the mating call of the ‘settled housewife.’
This is the coma that most women end up in through no fault of their own. Their husbands bitch that their wives no longer want to fuck them when they are the reason why. If a woman can shelve her sex life, it wasn’t that great to begin with. So either your dick is small and forgettable or you never did anything in the bedroom that made her want more.
Women love sex, some won’t admit that but they do. I’ve seen women begin to feel alive again when they take a lover. It is, as cliché as it sounds, like watching a dry flower perk up after it gets some water poured on it. And this crap about menopause is just that, crap. Yes you have to work more to have sex post-menopause, like using lube and being a bit more gentle, but there’s no reason for your sex drive to die and trust me ladies, with the right guy, it doesn’t.
This isn’t about replacing your husband, it’s about every once in a while taking the lover of your choice and either having sex in front of your husband or telling him about it later. Everyone is different in how they like to play that. And by every once in a while I’m not talking about every day or even every week.
Cuckolding is about female empowerment. It’s about taking your relationship and molding it to suite your needs. It’s about doing something men have done forever, our way. Whether you choose to make your relationship completely female led and you live a lifestyle dominant/submissive life 24/7, or you choose to occasionally have sex with a guy a few times a year for special occasions, the point is it’s YOUR CHOICE. The only real rules are that he DOESN’T get to fuck other women and you are the supreme ruler. You can create this in any way you want.
And if the thought of having sex with another man really does make your skin crawl because it’s not part of who you are, that’s okay too. You can still have fun using sex toys. You simply buy a dildo the size you want it that’s bigger than your husband, name it, and then there’s your third party. Your husband still gets to see you opened up by a bigger dick. He gets to be the one who facilitates it by being in control of the dildo and you can role play how much you love “Big Bob” inside of you. Everybody’s happy.
You’re going to keep searching the internet and you’ll see all sorts of crazy stuff being touted as the only way to cuckold etc. There’s a ton of terminology and jargon. Don’t get caught up in that. Just look at it as ideas. You can take them and use them or not. But don’t just throw the whole idea out the window without giving it some serious thought first. Take it all at your own pace and create this the way YOU want. Not the way some website or male is telling you to do it.
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