Pat probably thinks I forgot about him but I didn’t. He wrote me last month, yeah I know I’m a procrastinator with way too many balls in the air, but he always makes such valid points that I know others will benefit from and he’s done it again!
Here’s what Pat wrote:
“Does submitting to someone of the same sex, while otherwise being attracted only to the opposite sex, make someone bisexual?
Over the last few years I’ve realized that I am sexually submissive with women, and possibly, maybe with the right kind of man as well. But I otherwise have no interest in men. I have no desire for a vanilla sexual interaction with a man. It’s just about dominance and submission.
Have you ever encountered submissives like this and what do you think it means?”
I talk to many, MANY people who are sitting in this position. You guys always hear me talk about the sliding scale of sexuality. If we peeled away all the layers we are all inherently bi-sexual on some level. It’s just that some of us lean more one way or the other. Take myself for example; I have no lesbian tendencies at all. I’ve watched girl-on-girl porn, I’ve actually even participated in threesomes with 2 girls and one VERY LUCKY guy, yet I had no inclination to go near the other women, the urge or eroticism just isn’t there. But I DO know that given the right circumstances and the right mood or ambiance that I might go down that road. Who knows? I’m not about to pigeon hole myself and say, NO WAY I’M NEVER TACO MUNCHING!
I counsel primarily men and there are so many of you guys who are sitting in this position which I would say is right, dead smack in the middle of the sliding scale and sometimes that’s a harder position to be in.
I will say this again and again until I’m blue in the face; Pat’s position is all based on D & s. When you’re feeling sexually submissive, it’s more your need and desire to serve that makes you suck another man’s cock. It has NOTHING to do with your sexual orientation. Guys always figure if I suck a cock I’m a fag. Wrong! Unless you have romantic desires (i.e. Find other men sexually attractive and would go in to a romantic relationship with them) for the opposite sex you are NOT gay! Are you bi? Yup! But remember even bi-sexuality has a sliding scale. It’s our society’s need to label everything that fucks up your heads.
A submissive male who sucks another guys cock is not gay he’s SERVING! He’s PLEASING! It’s coming from that submissive part of you not the sexual orientation part of you. I see more people in pain from having confusing thoughts that don’t conform to what society deems as ‘normal’ that it saddens me. If we weren’t so god damn focused on what our neighbor is doing or who they’re fucking people wouldn’t have to feel this emotional confusion and pain. What you do behind closed doors (consensually) is none of anyone’s business. Would I like for everyone to be able to discuss what they do openly without judgment? Hell ya! Is that going to happen in our lifetimes? Sadly, no.
Even when you are in that submissive situation and you are sucking his cock or doing anything else sexually to this, I’m assuming, alpha male and he’s telling you you’re a ‘dirty faggot,’ even THAT doesn’t mean anything. It’s part of the humiliation streak that goes along with your submissiveness.
I have men who phone me in complete FEAR who say to me, “what if I suck a cock and like it?” So? Let’s look at that, you suck a cock and you like it, chances are you’re not enjoying the oral based on, “oh I want this guy to like me,” it’s because you are SERVING. You are delighting the idea of pleasing this guy and a lot of times it’s at the behest of a Dominant female who’s telling you to do it. In that case you’re doing what you’re told, you’re a good sub in that moment. Just relax and enjoy that wonderful feeling of submission instead of letting your mind squirrels tell you you’re wrong, or fucked in the head. You’re not!!!!
The real key in enjoying what you do is letting go of trying to ‘fit in’ with the rest of the world. Why on earth do you want to fit in with a bunch of fickle, mind-changing, bigoted, paranoid people? It’s a game you CANNOT win. So to try to play it is more ridiculous than you sucking a cock. Do what you love, what makes you feel good and let go of the societal/religious programming.
Sucking a cock in a D & s situation DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAY!
I absolutely LOVE sucking cock! I am convinced that guys are way better at sucking cock than girls. I’m now bi-sexual and have had many great oral experiences with hot chicks. But guys win hands down when it comes to sucking a hard cock!
I believe this is because guys WANT to suck cock. In my experience, the majority of girls only do it because they feel they should, especially after a great tongue cunt licking. Not many girls will do a 69er and those that do only last a minute or so. I just love the way guys will 69er for ages, enjoying every second of cock in the mouth.
I’m sure girls also give better oral to girls. It’s nothing to do with being gay or bi-sexual. Girls know what girls want, guys know how to suck cock.
OHHH how I want to suck cock… married to the same woman for 40 yrs but sooo lusting to suck cock and eat cum… even interested in getting my virgin butt fucked.. hjehehehe
I enjoy being submissive, and the humiliation of a cock in my mouth and ass. I started sucking cocks at 50. I’m now 63, and am a confirmed cock lover. My wife had been coming home with other men’s semen in her that I would lick clean. I told her I should be sucking the cum from the source, and she agreed.
The youngest cock I’ve sucked was 22, the oldest, 87. I was surprised and pleased at the amount of cum from the older man.
I love the experience of eating the man’s masculinity as I feel his cock pulse in my mouth as he cums. I’ve sucked many cocks from Craigslist, also friends and neighbors. I consider myself a cocksucking anal slut faggot now. I’m fortunate that my wife encourages me in doing this.
You are very blessed to have such an understanding wife. er
Question for you men im a female and my fiance fantasizes of men fucking me and pleasing me or them touching my titts in a store but me taking pics of it also he likes when i dirty talk to him about me and other me. Perverts or gay stories so he can jack off too he also once fucked a guy in the ass and rubbed his dick but said he never been fucked one more thing he wants to suck dick but mainly big black dick jerking a guy off what does this mean is he gay he dates girls but says he will never form a relationship with a man ever but he constantly talks bad about my gay nephew and anyone else who is gay calls them faggits or talks shit but now he wants him and my nephew to suck eachother off and rub eachother please help he always talks about dick rather it be me with a man or him and also left me a lot of times cause i dont want to perform in all his fantasies what do i do
Junelle,
It means as I’ve said many times that he is bi-sexual but in this case leaning more towards being gay. As I’ve said many times both here and on my show, it has been my observation that we are all bi-sexual but that we will lean more towards one side or the other. In your situation and based on what you’ve just said here I would say your man is gay and in denial. Most people who fear their own sexuality will call out the behavior they fear they enjoy. I would say in this case you need to sit down and talk to him about his ‘fantasies’ because I’m getting that this man is not just coming from a fetish standpoint which is the basis of this article but he has very strong repressed gay tendancies. The thing is, that’s okay, don’t be mad at him but he needs to face this and make some decisions otherwise 10 or 20 years from now you’ll find yourself alone while he’s out hitting up the gay bars on the side and that’s not right. He needs to deal with these issues or both of you will be unhappy in the long run.
That sounds great and my body is lacking protein that’s only found in a man’s cum
I left a earlier comment, but, I love “certain” clocks. I don’t like thick long ones, I prefer skinnier Sevier penises. Length does not matter at all to me, actually the smaller cock, is what I would pick. 6 inches is perfect, 7 is great, more than that, is gross to me. I like 3 to 7 inches and not thick, but skinny,with a nice head on it.
Damn u described me…let’s chat
I’m 46 now, had enjoyed sucking cock for many years, since I was like 13, i haven’t done it for about two years now, but I got to say i enjoyed it, every chance I got I did it. Would like to find someone I could do that again with, so if i was you I would go and find someone that is willing to do that, and enjoy yourself.
I love it also, but love vaginas more. I fantasize about “just” the penis, not the guy I am enjoying. I like to please, I will say I love the taste of cum as well, smell, etc.
There are so many Guys that are in the same boat. I want to suck a cock, I would like him to suck me at the same time. I always imagined if you both timed the sucking right it would be like sucking your own cock? I am not into guys either. I would never look at a guy and say, I want to fuck him! If he’s good looking, I would be more inclined to want to suck his cock sooner. I would like to do it with a girl making me. I am definitely submissive, totally. I love when my lady penetrates my butt with our prostate massager, as she is sucking me off. That is when you could stick a dick in my face and I’d suck it, at least till I came. If I came first though, I’d probably stop as I wouldn’t be horny anymore. I do want to suck a guy off though.
I’ve always like women but every since I can remember l thought about big black cocks. When I was about 18 I suck my 1st dick the town bully had caught me in the woods he made me suck his big uncut dick at First i don’t like like but he was big and stronger than me. I decided maybe if I was submissive it would be over sooner. He since my submission and got more aggressive with me . Suddenly he pulled out my mouth and started slapping my face with his big dick I know why but I enjoyed his dominant attitude and my dick got hard!!! We were now involved in some hard facefucking. He called me cocksucker and faggot . I cock got super hard . I attacked it suddenly my mouth was not only full of dick but cum to. he let me nurse his big big dick for about five minutes then roughly push me off I land on my back I watch he pulled up his pants.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with men that suck cock or cock’s. Gay,straight or bisexual. For guy’s that want to try to suck. Why wait? I wish I had the nerve to approach a guy about sucking his dick. Fact is. That’s probably the biggest road block to most Guy’s that haven’t sucked another guy. Is the initial contact. Craigslist is full of men wanting to suck a guy untill he blows in there mouth. It’s a little scary,meeting a stranger for a blowjob.
I agree, Robert. I’ve gone on Craigslist and other sites where men hook up, but always chicken out. Meeting a total stranger for a blowjob is a risk I don’t want to take. I’m a masturbator and used to belong to dicknet but was a little freaked out when guys wanted to hook up. I guess I wasn’t ready…
It looks like theres many of us in teh same boat…I dont like men phisically,never have.Anal sex or gay porn disgusted me.I like women in everyway but I was always looking at cocks in locker room ince childhood,lot of curiosity. When I was 30 i tried to suck one and you know theres no turn back.To me its not the submissive thing,ok it turns a bit to be on your knees and used but to me is more the taboo thing that turns on my straight oldschool raised mind. I do it like 4 times a year and I have no interest in the guys body or ecalate to more gay acts.Its all about the big cock and my mouth on it. I love women doing it on me and watch it in porn.I dont like guys touching any part of my body. So like somebody else said I just admit and define myself as a straight guy and a cock sucking faggot,as ironic as it may sound. I dont call myself bi cause IM not atracted to men at all.
I want to throw this.All of ours so macho straight friends that would neeever sucka dick, do they enjoy watching porn of small dicks?? So there you go in some way eeeverybody likes a big cock,another issue is are you openminded enough to put one in your mouth,do you have the curiosity to do it or not? If nobody in the whole world would find out about it..would you do it?.
So since nobody likes small dick porn its safe to asume that we ALL like big dick,in different degrees but we do.
And you super machos dont tell me ou ahve never looked to the side in the public toilet to see another dudes dick…
The only thing is once you try theres no turn back. I watched oral sex porn mainly and one day I wondered how it feels in your mouth.that was it.Ive tried to stop doing it cause I dont want anybody finding out and labeling me as gay when in fact I dont like men. But I just cant I love sucking cock every once in a while and I guess I will do it forever
I experimented over ten years ago and have not been able to stop sucking cock. I consider myself a submissive and when Im horny I crave cock and cum. Ive continued to experience cock sex including anal and group sex. I struggle to find partners when horny which makes me crazy and I find myself looking for places and ways to meet guys. Ive also done some cross dressing and find I like both submissive and feminine feelings. I like thinking of myself as a cock sucker and want to go further with my experiences. Would like to try video porn if I could find such an opportunity.
Keep furthering your experiences. I have had a gay friend and for the past ten years we have been hooking up. I am confused with my sexuality. I really enjoy sucking cock, I have never swallowed, but I would love to taste his cum some day. Also I like to bottom, but my friends cock is huge, I always have a hard time taking him, it’s a huge turn on when I feel the warmth of his hot load. It would be great to be able to fuck the way they do in the videos! Good luck and have fun!