Pat probably thinks I forgot about him but I didn’t. He wrote me last month, yeah I know I’m a procrastinator with way too many balls in the air, but he always makes such valid points that I know others will benefit from and he’s done it again!
Here’s what Pat wrote:
“Does submitting to someone of the same sex, while otherwise being attracted only to the opposite sex, make someone bisexual?
Over the last few years I’ve realized that I am sexually submissive with women, and possibly, maybe with the right kind of man as well. But I otherwise have no interest in men. I have no desire for a vanilla sexual interaction with a man. It’s just about dominance and submission.
Have you ever encountered submissives like this and what do you think it means?”
I talk to many, MANY people who are sitting in this position. You guys always hear me talk about the sliding scale of sexuality. If we peeled away all the layers we are all inherently bi-sexual on some level. It’s just that some of us lean more one way or the other. Take myself for example; I have no lesbian tendencies at all. I’ve watched girl-on-girl porn, I’ve actually even participated in threesomes with 2 girls and one VERY LUCKY guy, yet I had no inclination to go near the other women, the urge or eroticism just isn’t there. But I DO know that given the right circumstances and the right mood or ambiance that I might go down that road. Who knows? I’m not about to pigeon hole myself and say, NO WAY I’M NEVER TACO MUNCHING!
I counsel primarily men and there are so many of you guys who are sitting in this position which I would say is right, dead smack in the middle of the sliding scale and sometimes that’s a harder position to be in.
I will say this again and again until I’m blue in the face; Pat’s position is all based on D & s. When you’re feeling sexually submissive, it’s more your need and desire to serve that makes you suck another man’s cock. It has NOTHING to do with your sexual orientation. Guys always figure if I suck a cock I’m a fag. Wrong! Unless you have romantic desires (i.e. Find other men sexually attractive and would go in to a romantic relationship with them) for the opposite sex you are NOT gay! Are you bi? Yup! But remember even bi-sexuality has a sliding scale. It’s our society’s need to label everything that fucks up your heads.
A submissive male who sucks another guys cock is not gay he’s SERVING! He’s PLEASING! It’s coming from that submissive part of you not the sexual orientation part of you. I see more people in pain from having confusing thoughts that don’t conform to what society deems as ‘normal’ that it saddens me. If we weren’t so god damn focused on what our neighbor is doing or who they’re fucking people wouldn’t have to feel this emotional confusion and pain. What you do behind closed doors (consensually) is none of anyone’s business. Would I like for everyone to be able to discuss what they do openly without judgment? Hell ya! Is that going to happen in our lifetimes? Sadly, no.
Even when you are in that submissive situation and you are sucking his cock or doing anything else sexually to this, I’m assuming, alpha male and he’s telling you you’re a ‘dirty faggot,’ even THAT doesn’t mean anything. It’s part of the humiliation streak that goes along with your submissiveness.
I have men who phone me in complete FEAR who say to me, “what if I suck a cock and like it?” So? Let’s look at that, you suck a cock and you like it, chances are you’re not enjoying the oral based on, “oh I want this guy to like me,” it’s because you are SERVING. You are delighting the idea of pleasing this guy and a lot of times it’s at the behest of a Dominant female who’s telling you to do it. In that case you’re doing what you’re told, you’re a good sub in that moment. Just relax and enjoy that wonderful feeling of submission instead of letting your mind squirrels tell you you’re wrong, or fucked in the head. You’re not!!!!
The real key in enjoying what you do is letting go of trying to ‘fit in’ with the rest of the world. Why on earth do you want to fit in with a bunch of fickle, mind-changing, bigoted, paranoid people? It’s a game you CANNOT win. So to try to play it is more ridiculous than you sucking a cock. Do what you love, what makes you feel good and let go of the societal/religious programming.
Sucking a cock in a D & s situation DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAY!
Just look what it did to Jesus.
I am your classic submissive bisexual. I started sucking cocks while married and in college. There was a cruising place in the woods where you could just hook up. I met one guy who had a big thick cock and when it hung there, I would just drop to my knees and admired it and then lick/suck it. I didn’t swallow cum in the beginning and the few times I tried, I couldn’t do it. I am definitely attracted to thin guys with big cocks. Love black ones the most and they are usually very dominant and verbal which I love. The more submissive I am, the more I love it. I have told to kiss them, hug and cuddle with them which I gladly did just to make them totally happy. I lost track of how many cocks I’ve sucked and now love to swallow. I have never been with a dominant women but I would love to be slave to one. I have small cock and always tried to get my wife to do threesome with hung black guy but she never would, She would finger my ass while sucking me and even fucked me with large dildo. I love to eat pussy but love cock more. It is hard to connect with guys now other than glory holes. I sometimes think I’m more gay and part of me would like to be a complete faggot twink.
mmm you sound a bit like me, but i have now progressed to letting guys fuck me as well
I still find men on Missed Connections at Craigslist. Like you, I now prefer sucking cock and being fucked by men over having pussy.
I’ve only been having sex with men for 15 years, but am proud to say I have had over 400 cocks in my mouth, and have been fucked by over 80 men.
I have three regulars who fuck me at least once a week each, not bad for a senior citizen!
My Jacksonville neighbor and I were high and drunk after everyone left. We snorted more. And I blurted out wonder what it’s like to suck one off… Thought I was talking to myself.. before I could retract my question… It was answered with my neighbor’s huge 10″ fat thick cock being yanked outta his shorts!
I was just high enough that I grabbed it. OMG! It was limp with pre cum… He said here.try mine… I have a small mouth, barely could wrap my lips around his head.. but I won’t stop. I licked my lips and wrapped them around his head and slowly took him in inch by inch… I could already taste his pre cum… Yum I said to myself.. then he got really hard… I pulled off and said let’s roll the glass bubble and go to the couch… We smoked and he sat back teasing me slapping his huge cock on his flat stomach… And I moved in and put my mouth on the top.. he mumbled dam I’ve always wondered if my cock would fit it your small mouth… I said nothing but slurping sounds and ummmhmmm…
I could barely breathe and I’m only half way down his cock… Then something happened… I was down to his base of his cock… I have zero gag reflex!! He went crazy. And I did to him what this one chic did to me in new Orleans and started to use my throat as a moving forward and back and around in circles humming.. then he was literally stretching out my mouth and throat but it felt awesome… Then he moaned grabbing my head and holding it down, exploding like a garden hose down my throat… Thought I was gonna drown at first..
I took every drop… When he let my head up it sounded like a suction cup loud pop…. From that point in I was hooked… His wife worked nights and mine just started nights rotation.. we we’re at it every chance we could. He wanted to drill me so bad but I was scared to death.. he was so big… This lasted 5mos till his wife got transferred… So I gave in as long as he went real slow and tons of lube!!
He got the head in slowly and I was dying… And I was squealing and in pain, thank goodness that made him pull out and cum all over my ass… He wanted to do it again after a quick rest… But I ended up throating his cock again and he came in my mouth and I kept on him. He was shaking and Cumming back to back..
That was over 6 yrs ago… Lost touch which sucks.. I got bored and high and met up with a married cook in Las Cruces NM, he was very forward and demanding. I just wanted to suck him off he wanted to fuck me. So I took him whole think he was bout 7″ thick but after 10″ your kinda spoiled… Then we went to him and his wife’s bedroom. And that kinda turned me on… And I guess u sucked him off to good or I’m to tight, he could only get the head in and he was blasting all over my ass…
He said “DAM UR TIGHT”
and he was done.. so I wiped up and I left quickly .. good thing. As I was leaving I could see in my rearview a car pulling in his driveway.. must be the mrs’s…
So I went to the gas station to clean up.. and was heading back to my truck and was hit on with a smile from a guy in his car. Asked me for a light and I walked up to offer him one and his cock was hanging out his shorts and I was like dam!! Smiling back at his uncut fat burrito looking foot long. I said need help? He said finally… Yes!. I said fallow me.. I took him deep into the desert.. he got out I dropped my tailgate. He jumped up and I pulled his cock out from his shorts… I never worked an uncut cock. But the more I stroked the more I could see what was going on. And he had a really thick beer can type cock. Like it was nearly 4″thick the tip was narrow.. I sucked and licked what felt like forever.. he couldn’t cum.. but I was relentless.. then he pulled out a magnum condom and asked if he could fuck me.. I said I was ok with it but I’m outta my kind of party favor.. turned out he was a major dealer… Lol jackpot!! Couple of puffs and three lines later… He was pounding me out like if I was a bitch…pelvis and ass slapping hard!. Wow so this is how it feels when i used to bang all them one nite stands… Lol wow…
He actually made it feel REALLY good. I was cumming all over my tailgate while he was Cumming.he let out one loud moan and he was drained… We laid back watching the stars .. or I was seeing stars . I just got drilled real fucking good and finally enjoyed it this time. He was laid back so I removed his condom and licked him clean and he started to get a semi.. so I kept working on him.. and he was in shock that I got him hard again… And I was throating him whole… And he came again not alot but again… He was in shock and awe.
Said his wife and gf could never get him to do that… I said I just did what I thought would feel real good. I said I enjoyed the pounding… I came with you. I’ve never been drilled and he said I could tell. He hooked me up some stuff, and a number so we could do this again very soon.few months go by and I attend a friend of mines reunion… Turns out he is my buddies 24 yr old nephew… Fuuuuuck! I text him he txt back ya I saw ur truck and I got hard… Lol wow… Meet me by the barn in 10min. I was there in 5min.
He strolled up odelay! I said waddup bro. He said ya wanna I said it’s risky he said I’ll keep watch. And he pulled his cock out and I was sucking him off again.. he came fast this time… He said yo my bitch has a friend do u wanna hang out with us.. I said sure… I’m thinking it’s a girl.. no it was a gay looking think. I said no I’m good I thought it was a chick… No problem bro. Pick one… So I did… And we went back to a huge kicking party and my chick was really hot hispana.. we got a little busy then I ran my hand down her panties to get my fingers wet from her pussy…. Wrong… Bout 8″ of thick cock taped backed… So I kept rubbing and stroking till her tape ripped, she’s was like… This Cool? And I said keep on DL… Cool she said… I rubbed her a bit then she pulled out my cock and started sucking me off… Wow she is really really good at that.. she was sucking me off while I was stroking her thick bout 6 1/2 to 7″
After it was unfolded and let loose from the tape and what else… She kept saying fuck me plz fuck me… Been to long.. so I got behind her,she had a condom ready for me and I started in slow and easy. But this wasn’t his first time. And I’ve drilled chicks in the ass who begged for it.so I started pounding her out and she was grinding back in a motion that was in sync with me… Hmmm… I’m still tugging on her cock and it’s as hard as steel… I was bout to cum so I slowly slipped out and started to suck her off.. she was loving every slurp sucking sound I was giving out. I got carried away and started this gyrating throat swirling motion and I had her locked in. She was stuck on that cumming down my throat scenario.. I slowed down for a second then started again….she exploded on cue… And a ton of it too… right as she came I flipped her over and pounded her ass hard the way she likes it… And after a few squeals and moans she came even more after hearing her squeal like that I busted a huge but and a half all over her ass and cock..I ended up hanging out with Tasha for a few weeks. My first cd… We had fun and it was so free flowing anything goes fucking and sucking. I love women but dam! I enjoyed sucking off 10″huge fat cock to random married cock to CD’s and dealers with bomb dope and beer can fat cocks… I don’t regret any of that to this day… I think I could try all that sober.. but it way more fun on it… No limits…
I have been sucking cock since the late 80a not all the time just off and on. But do love it each time. Have at times wore panties and thigh high hose and heels as I’m sucking cock. Only thing I havent done and so wanna do is suck cock and be fucked at the same time as I’m wearing the panties and thigh high hose. I do love the taste of cum. Love a guy cumming on my face
I to have a fantasy of servicing two men at once sucking one while receiving anal from another. If there both black men all the better. I do love sucking cock .
Hi Dave, I have a few men that are only interested if I cross dress, l don’t think that they are gay l know one guy asks me to be all made up ,long hair ,earrings fully dressed with stockings , skirt and a top and loves to look down at me while I suck his cock him also likes to fuck me and prefers to lift my skirt and pull my thong aside when he does. Like you l’ve been a cocksucker for a while now and most guys that l suck off don’t mind if I cross dress, but the ones that like it are very adamant about how l look , l see one couple that love that l cross dress she was the decision maker and gets very excited when l give her husband oral and loves to cheer me on with verbal humiliation telling him to fuck my mouth and when he cums she loves to tell me to swallow his cum also loves to watch him spurt on my tongue of course She knows that both him and l like the verbal humiliation she masturbates while watching him suck me and gets me to lick her fingers a few times she sat on my face then gets us to kiss while her husband gives me back my cum
Great article!
I too am a bi-sexual but have greater success with men than women.
I love serving men and the humiliation that goes with it!
I have kept track of how many I’ve performed oral sex on and I’ll say it’s 3 digits. I won’t disclose the exact amount but I do know the exact number.
I will tell you in private if you DM me.
Being a submissive behind closed doors takes away all the pressure and stress of being proper.
I love sucking cock and am told I’m good at it.
I finally did it for the first time in mid 2015 and have not stopped since.
They never tell you that cock sucking can be addictive.
I simply enjoy it and wi never stop.
I have only told 3 close personal friends about my addiction.
Ok, that said I’ll move on.
With me it’s all about submitting and serving a man’s carnal needs.
There is no lack of men that love free blow jobs either.
I won’t get into how awesome it is here except that it is awesome!
You’d be interested to know that about 1/4 of the men I’ve sucked off have wedding rings on.
So either they’re not getting oral sex at home or I’m just that Good!
I’m always told I’m very good at it (practice makes perfect. Lol)
I don’t know why but I only swallow about half the time.
It’s not that sperm tastes bad but I think sometimes that it’s a mental thing with me where I think after his orgasm “what am I doing” And spit it out.
I’m learning to swallow more. And overcome those feelings of shame.and guilt.
I see a Mexican man most Sundays and delight in worshipping his huge Verga (Mexican for cock),
He is around 5′ 6″ tall with a big thick veiny dick while I’m 6′ 0″ with a very tiny dick.
He’s made a few comments about my diminutive size compared to his massive proportions which excites me. I’ve asked him to talk dirty and call me names but he won’t do it I think out of respect, but quite frankly, I don’t want his respect, I only want to be used for his pleasure!
He told me he has been happily married for 30 years but his wife has never and will never suck his dick because it’s dirty. Unbelievable!
When I’m with a man, I mentally think to myself that we are both equal as men until the very second his penis touches my lips. At that instant, our status quickly changes where he becomes superior to me and I am inferior to him and what he says goes, period!
I don’t know why this submission and humiliation thing excites me so much.
I think that knowingly giving an equal or lesser man complete control over you is such a turn on, after all, you are the one naked, kneeling between his legs with his cock in your mouth pleasuring him!
The men never return the favor either, even if they try, I won’t let them.
For me, it’s all about submitting to a man where both of you know without words who is in charge.
I get such intense sexual feelings and satisfaction knowing he is using me in this way, without reciprocation!
“A man is truly Lord of this planet, and I’m there only to serve his needs”
I enjoy the submissive side of sucking cocks. I don’t want to hug or kiss a man, just service the cock. I love it when I have a cock in my mouth and the man calls me cock sucker and faggot. At that point in time, that is exactly what I am. I actually feel no embarrassment or humiliation at having cocks in my mouth and swallowing a real man’s semen. I guess I’ve evolved somewhat.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE SUCKING COCK WITH MY WIFE!!! ALTHOUGH I HAVE HAD A MOMENT WITH just a Guy…. I wasn’t a fan of it. I totally will have and will suck up cum with me wife. But with out her…. I won’t touch cock w 10ft pole
Just want to say thanks for the articles which have helped put my mind slightly more at ease on sucking cock.
Although happily married for a very long time, my wife has more or less no sex drive. We very rarely have sex now. But as a typical male, I very much have the need for it and the eventual release.
For a long time, in fact since childhood, I have always liked the same sex and being bi curious. But through my relationship with my wife and the fact i still very much love her, have not had full sex with a man. Nor have i ever been with another woman. With having no sex life, and the need to release my tensions and being bi curious, I plucked up courage and attended a gay sauna. Here, I found safety and to some degree my sexual release but with some guilt. I feel very confused sexually.
I had often had the opportunity to suck a cock. I had always wanted to try, but with the fear of infections etc never did. Obviously, I love having my cock sucked.
On reading the various comments on your site, the time came with a guy who i met at the sauna and who’s cock was just right. Finally, I took it into my mouth and had a great time sucking. What made it even better for me was he did not know it was my first time I had sucked a cock but afterwards he actually said that was brilliant. I have to add that I couldn’t go the whole way and let him come in my mouth. Im not sure if i could cope with cum in the mouth although i’d love to know what its like.
Perhaps it wont be a regular thing, but at least I now know what its like to suck cock.
My main worries are contracting something and my guilty feeling re my wife.
Should I continue now that i have experienced my fantasy?
Hi Dr. Sue
This is tim, the first time i sucked cock i was 16 years old. i hung out with 4 girlfriends and they all dared me to do it and they set up the situation with a group of male friends of their’s. When it took place my lady friends cheered me on. From that point i was hooked and am truly bi and love to serve and please others.
Well done Tim!
Yes I sucked my first dick when I was 13 and keep on after that
I was talked into giving my first bj when I was 5 or 6. I have not done it since but the thought intrigues me.
I to from giving my first NJ was hooked it happened when I was 13 yrs old. I’m now 65yrs. Old and have come to realize I’m gay as I have the desire to be romanticly involved with men only.So I must be gay.