Rich is my resident question asker at the moment, and I love it, keep em coming. Rich asked me:
Dr. Sue, i was hoping you might answer something else for me Ma’am. My Mistess has me so twisted mentally, i mean i don’t even think of women anymore, just her at all times, i mean let me clarify not stalkerish type but by getting aroused, i can’t think of dating or anything else. I think what is obviously not right is i get more aroused when i see she sent me an email, and that’s even before reading it. I never felt like this when i first started serving her, i was dating and going out.
This is one of those situations where I have to say that you asked for it. Most submissive males go to a Domme in the first place because they want the feeling of loss of control. The whole point of a D & s relationship is for the submissive 
to have that ultimate feeling of devotion and in Rich’s case that’s exactly what he has. So really the way you’re feeling Rich is the way you should be feeling.
However (I always say that don’t I?) Rich’s behavior is borderlining on an addiction. Remember in my other posts how I say that if your behavior starts to change and you start either losing touch with reality or you stop doing regular everyday things you have an issue that needs to be addressed. If you were serving her in person this would be a different story but you aren’t Rich, you’re serving long distance so no one is holding a gun to your head and telling you that you can’t date. Your Mistress may tell you not to but ultimately it’s your decision.
There is a psychological condition with men who watch a lot of porn where they become unable to get aroused by a 3 dimensional real female. I believe, although I’m sure there have been no studies done on this, that you can have the same condition serving a Domme. You begin to cut yourself off from your day-to-day life activities one-by-one. All you think about is finding time to talk to her, or like Rich said, he gets excited when she sends him an email but not when he is with a woman, or in his case he’s starting to become reclusive. This is obviously not healthy.
All of these fetish activities are to ‘enhance’ your life not take it over. Life is supposed to be fun and happy and if what you’re doing is pulling you away from LIFE, then you need to get a grip on your behavior. Fetish should always = FUN. When you reach the point where your fetish is the ONLY fun you’re having, then you need to pull back and if you find you can’t pull back on your own, then you need professional help to do it.
Even with a pro Domme there’s a relationship and from what Rich is describing his relationship with this “pro Domme” is beyond abusive there’s give and take in all relationships on both sides but this one is Rich given and this abusive woman just taking to the point that By the sounds of it Rich is no longer a socially functioning adult I’m sorry but a person needs time to grieve for the loss of a parent or child and this woman didn’t allow that I get the sense she is mentally disturbed.
Hello, i did forget to add something as i did go to her and i know it’s ultimately my decision, but the threat of being exposed is there, and i believe with my Mistress is no bluff. When i did go to her at onetime entertaining the idea of leaving it is when my father passed and i have to admit it was tough time for me, i was told to keep my mouth shut and focus on what was important making Mistress happy, nothing else is important. If i had to say and i know this will make many laugh she is truly poison. I only say this is sometimes i’m surprised by the sadistic uncaring side of her. I know start laughing.
I’m not laughing myself because I know what these ladies are like but as I’ve said many times, many ways, THAT’S their job. If they cared about you, you wouldn’t want to go to them. It would defeat the purpose of why you’re there in the first place. And I’m sure if you told HER she was poison she’d laugh and say, “yeah what’s your point?”
I have been very fortunate to meet the right Dommes.
They will play hard, but have limits and care about their pet’s mental health.
Rich, my advice is that quality women travel in a pack with Dr Sue.
Hello Dr. Sue as always thankyou very much for addressing my issue i appreciate it very much and it helps. I know all to well that the reason i serve and belong to such a domineering Mistress is my fault and serving her for as long as i have makes it hard to leave her. She is a manipulative and very narcissistic woman that seems to always know exactly what to do to keep me at her feet. In the end i still know it’s my decision to move on.