Rich is my resident question asker at the moment, and I love it, keep em coming. Rich asked me:
Dr. Sue, i was hoping you might answer something else for me Ma’am. My Mistess has me so twisted mentally, i mean i don’t even think of women anymore, just her at all times, i mean let me clarify not stalkerish type but by getting aroused, i can’t think of dating or anything else. I think what is obviously not right is i get more aroused when i see she sent me an email, and that’s even before reading it. I never felt like this when i first started serving her, i was dating and going out.
This is one of those situations where I have to say that you asked for it. Most submissive males go to a Domme in the first place because they want the feeling of loss of control. The whole point of a D & s relationship is for the submissive to have that ultimate feeling of devotion and in Rich’s case that’s exactly what he has. So really the way you’re feeling Rich is the way you should be feeling.
However (I always say that don’t I?) Rich’s behavior is borderlining on an addiction. Remember in my other posts how I say that if your behavior starts to change and you start either losing touch with reality or you stop doing regular everyday things you have an issue that needs to be addressed. If you were serving her in person this would be a different story but you aren’t Rich, you’re serving long distance so no one is holding a gun to your head and telling you that you can’t date. Your Mistress may tell you not to but ultimately it’s your decision.
There is a psychological condition with men who watch a lot of porn where they become unable to get aroused by a 3 dimensional real female. I believe, although I’m sure there have been no studies done on this, that you can have the same condition serving a Domme. You begin to cut yourself off from your day-to-day life activities one-by-one. All you think about is finding time to talk to her, or like Rich said, he gets excited when she sends him an email but not when he is with a woman, or in his case he’s starting to become reclusive. This is obviously not healthy.
All of these fetish activities are to ‘enhance’ your life not take it over. Life is supposed to be fun and happy and if what you’re doing is pulling you away from LIFE, then you need to get a grip on your behavior. Fetish should always = FUN. When you reach the point where your fetish is the ONLY fun you’re having, then you need to pull back and if you find you can’t pull back on your own, then you need professional help to do it.