We have been subjected to so much destruction of basic human decency over the years that seems to be culminating with this year but even I’m not deluded enough to think it’s over.
Maybe for some of you the idea that there could be human decency in BDSM is an oxymoron. But I can assure you that when BDSM is practiced safely and more importantly SANELY, nothing could be further from the truth.
It’s been decades since I did any professional domination in a live session but I can only imagine that if what I’m seeing online is any peek into what is happening live I feel genuinely horrible for submissives regardless of their gender.
I can only really speak from the femme domme perspective but what I see happening in this corner of the BDSM community is soul crushing and brings bile to the mouths of those who practice our trade SANELY, SAFELY and with the needs of the submissive in the forefront.
Online female domination has become a cesspool of psychosis. All it takes is one perusal of social media and you can see the scum that has coated the pot.
Now I don’t do a lot of looking on my timeline. Why? Because if I did, I know I would lose my mind. So for my own sanity I don’t look at what is going on ‘out there.’ I actually don’t bother to watch what other women are doing because I don’t care. I do my thing and they do theirs. The only time I care is when bitches steal my articles and podcasts and put them out as their own. But that’s a simple DMCA issue and I have them taken down. And that sort of shit is what we’ve all been dealing with since the dawn of time. There’s always a cunt who doesn’t want to do the work and just takes something that isn’t hers. Piracy and plagiarism are real because there will always be lazy cunts in every business not just sex work. Just ask an IP litigator what paid for his pool.
However although I’m not glued to my phone checking out what everyone is doing, I do have several friends in this business who show me just what is going on with screenshots and links to the madness, and madness is being kind.
I understand that when times get tough in every aspect as it has been for several years, that psychoses and extreme fetishes will come out more due to the intense stress people are under. Subjects such as incest and pedophilia are running rampant right now on many of the sleazier platforms that allow it. However just because it’s in the forefront doesn’t mean that indulging in it or pandering to it is okay.
Many of you will cry kink shame saying that what you’re doing is role playing therefore it’s okay. And that it’s a way to for these guys to work through their feelings. Those are the statements of someone trying to justify what they’re doing so they can sleep at night. That response is you clinging to an idealized concept based on the client having perfect mental health and if your client is in good mental health I can assure you they wouldn’t be looking to indulge in these subjects. By indulging this type of fantasy you in fact can cause them to take it from the fantasy realm to reality much quicker. So in a sense you are making it not only worse for your client but worse for someone they will possibly abuse later. This is psychological fact, not my opinion.
I also understand supply and demand. I get that you ladies are out there trying to squeeze every fucking dime you can from your clients because you’re broke as fuck and because of the heavy saturation of women in this genre of BDSM but at what cost?
You ladies ‘out there’ who are creating point-of-view clips of you sexually assaulting male children have sunk to an agonizingly vile low, all in the name of making a buck. Some of which have pedophile ‘grooming’ language down so well it’s clear you were abused yourselves and are simply perpetuating your own pattern of pain. But the one thing you are not – is stupid. You know exactly what you’re doing and the key take away from it is… you just don’t care. You couldn’t possibly care less about who you fuck up now or in the future as long as you get paid. And you clearly don’t care about your own reputation because the only thing you can call anyone creating this type of content is a pedophile.
Really good dommes, dommes who have been in the business for decades like myself are leaving the community in droves because they can no longer be associated with what femme domme has deteriorated into. And that’s the real shame of it all. Just when the industry needs really good folks in it to counter the garbage the good ones leave in disgust.
Faux findoms flashing tits and clits for a buck here and there. Women treating each other like the shit on the bottom of their stilettos; doxing and outing each other like a bunch of buzzards circling a fresh kill. Kiddy diddling dommes. Dommes who take down nonconsenting wives and families are all disgusting but now, now a new layer of the swamp has been dredged to the surface of the aforementioned cesspool. Now dommes are deciding to tell their subs to kill themselves once they have no more money or use. Note the word domme is plural. And the absolute absurdity is that this is all being done under the guise of female supremacy and power. I see nothing empowering in any of this. I see only sickness and destruction of human lives.
There have been so many suicides in the sex industry do we really need to sink to this? And do you really want to know that someone offed themselves because you told them to do it? Really? You want that hanging over your head? Because let me tell you, if you have a drop of empathy it will fuck you up hard. Oh and thinking, “it’s not my fault if he’s stupid enough to do it because I told him to,” won’t cut it when you’re charged with assisting a suicide. A charge that has already been tackled by the courts and put several people in the pen but I guess you don’t care because you’ll look so hot in your orange jumpsuit.
And perhaps I missed the memo but I see nothing powerful or supreme in this type of behavior and it is the antithesis of who we are supposed to be as dommes. We are not here to destroy a human soul. We are here to assist in their journey of self-discovery. And this is precisely the type of behavior that casts a deep, dark, shadow over BDSM as a whole.
If you’re engaging in this type of domination, whether it’s from the domme or sub position you need to look long and hard at yourself because you’re circling the drain. Personally I would get some kind of psyche help if I were you but rarely do those who truly need it seek it.
Oh and if you’re thinking of telling me that I’m old and out of touch – well if this community is hell bent on further muddying the already thick water of this swamp with supreme selfish behavior and God complexes, then I’m happy to be out of touch and old and it’s no wonder good truly superior women are leaving domination. You can only sit by and watch the shoreline erode for so long before you realize you’re about to get washed out with it.
And yes there’s a reason why I used lower case ‘d’s’ in this article. Women who insist on involving themselves in this behavior do not deserve a millimeter of respect let alone a symbolic capital letter.
You may want to read Domme or Psychopath while you’re here.
**One final thought. If you are pissed with this article it shows who you are. Because if you condone telling a sub that they should kill themselves, you are part of the problem.
CLICK HERE TO READ A FOLLOW UP ARTICLE BY AMELIA DIVINE ON SUB SAFETY
Let me know what you think in the comments below.
This is shit I’ve been talking about in my tiiiiiiiny bubble for years, so nice to know I’m not the only one, and not just feeling that from the “also a consumer” side of things 🙂
— Max “A -VERY- Professional Writer” Meyer 0.4k (@TranceScript) December 4, 2020
Been feeling the same for a while. Reading that gave me some validation and helped my mental health. Thank You!
— Slave Boy (@sissyslaveboy81) December 3, 2020
aeiou
This needed to be said and youre correct in saying no one will give a damn because either theyre too scared to speak up in fear of being attacked, theyre trying to be keeewwl or they don’t want to get the ones with thousands of followers pissed off. Those who are complaining about this article are the same ones who have no problem telling others to go kill themselves, some of those are the very same ones who push pedophilia by using children toys as props in shoots and vids, some even going as far as playing up the Lolita character. I wonder if these same people would have an issue with people telling their mentally disabled relatives to kill themselves? I bet they would. In fact, I’ve seen the same people who are complaining about this article complain about being made fun of by people in the scene. Which is fucking hilarious. Sadly the online femdom scene has been infiltrated by desperate cam girls who would do mostly anything for money like shoving 10 ft dildos up their orifices for money for a man with a boner and just happened to stumble across femdom on their way or was told because they were pretty that they could make easy money pretending to be a domme. Like the ones who pretend to be gay because they think it gives them an edge with subs.
SultrySuzanne
Always speaking your mind! Loved this.
Rachpoil
“because of the heavy saturation of women in this genre of BDSM”
That is a very good point! i never really saw it like that. i don’t have much experience in this lifestyle (as a male sub). But i think that even if a Dominatrix is just starting, i have the impression that it should not take too long for Her to make a good name for Herself and rise above the fog. If She cares for Her subbys, respect them and of course; truly enjoy being a Dominatrix. As funny as it sound, the greatest amount of respect i have ever witness is when i’m being tormented by a down to Earth Dominatrix.
It’s a good attitude to take not caring much about the bad ethic other Dominatrix may have. If i ever have a bad experience with a Dominatrix, i will never let it take the best of this lifestyle ; ) Well… unless i end up being locked up in a basement for ever :O
Dr Sue
Can’t speak about anyone else’s mind.
Goddess Lynne
I love how this starts with basically an attitude of “whatever is going on, not My business”, then descends into talking shit about wannabe Twitter dommes.
The “online domination” I’m sure you’re referring to is what you see on Twitter, which is a terrible place to base a judgement of how online domination goes. That’s like hopping on 4chan and thinking that’s how the world is.
What is it to you if everyone online is terrible? Does it affect your income? Are you not your own reflection of what type of Domme you are? Don’t they all make you look BETTER by comparison? What’s wrong with that?
And what’s all this talk of “leaving domination” because of all the dumb shit other people do ONLINE? How ridiculous is that. If anything, I would imagine some would see that as weak but hey, more money for the rest of us that don’t think Twitter is the be all and end all of BDSM .
Dr Sue
Ah so by your account we should all just shut the fuck up and let this shit go even further down the toilet. Interesting considering the only way you knew about this article in the first place is through Twitter. Your argument is what’s ridiculous Lynne. And you’ve just shown all your future clients that you don’t care. Way to go. I feel sorry for your subs.
Tom Healy
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This needed to be said. There is less and less out there to like or enjoy. It is becoming a cesspool. There are way too many people on both sides of the slash that have no ethics, no integrity, and no honour. I truly miss the old days.
Amelia Divine
It blows my mind that this is happening, although I really shouldn’t be so shocked. With COVID, people unemployed, and people working from home, it seems there is inexperience rampant in the sex industry. Both sub and Dom.
Dr Sue
It’s sickness. The same mental illness we see everywhere. As I just said on Twitter, money over lives has become a mantra on the planet. Just look at how COVID is being handled.
Mistress Kiara
This NEEDED to be addressed, and I feel that you did it wonderfully. I’ve made SO MANY enemies in this business because dommes refuse to understand that the person on the other end of the computer screen is, in fact, a human being and, fetishes aside, should be treated as such.
From someone who frequently engages in what I consider “edge play,” (forced intox, blackmail, etc) I find it horrifying to see such blatant disregard for human decency and, worse, human life.
PS – I know I’m one of those friends who sends you these terrible things when I see them. Can you blame me? No sane person could deal with this on their own! Not if they want to REMAIN sane, anyway.
Dr Sue
Absolutely not! It’s important to share it or you will lose your mind. This shit is just getting worse and worse.