Yeah I said it! Now go in your corners and come out fighting.
Financial domination has died a horrible death my friends and there’s no one standing by with paddles to shock the life back in to it.
Oh sure some of you ladies will probably say I’m just a bitter old woman and you’re entitled to your opinion just as much as I’m entitled to mine. But let’s look at the facts. First of all I haven’t done financial domination as a part of my online domination for years with the exception of a Findom hypnosis audio. So my opinion is based on observation and male complaints not bitterness. I don’t do financial domination work because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. [insert dick joke here]
When we were all thrown in to the mess that was the recession in 2008 a whole whack of women seeped on to the internet and found what they thought was the pot of gold at the end of their rainbow; financial domination. “Oh my god, you mean men will just throw money at me for no reason? SWEET!”
So instead of actually learning the craft of domination you had and still have, women who think flashing their twat for $20 on Skype is financial domination. WRONG!
Yes I can hear you ladies now, “it doesn’t matter how you get the money out of them, it’s still financial domination.” Or, and I love this one, “who are you to judge how I make my money.” Now sweet thing, I don’t give a rats ass how you get your money. If you want to spread your legs or flash your titties you are absolutely right, I won’t stand in judgement of how you get your money. Just don’t call yourself a Financial Domanatrix because that is not now, nor has it ever been what a true FinDom does. So you cash-for-flash rinsing bitches go right ahead and carry on doing what you’re doing but what you’re doing is NOT financial domination.
Mainstream media hasn’t helped the situation either with all the ridiculous ‘documentaries’ purporting to show what financial domination is and isn’t. When I see these articles and docu-series my eyes roll so far up I look like something from the Walking Dead.
Domination is an art. Financial domination is a niche within that art. It has nothing to do with twat watching or jiggling your ass. It has to do with seduction. Men want to be seduced out of their money. You babes who are out there on Twitter and Instagram saying PAY ME! This is what you look like:
And at least this chick is being honest. You ladies look like you are panhandling and it’s not attractive nor is it seductive.
Case in point…Playboy. Why do you think after running this mag since 1953 would the executive suite decide to remove nudity from the magazine? A magazine that’s entire existence was based on a nude female? Because nudity is over done now. You can go anywhere online and see vag, tits and ass. But truly seductive and sexy photos are now rare. As a matter of fact, from a psychological standpoint, most men are desensitized to nudity because of over exposure.
The same holds true for financial domination now. It has been so diluted it looks like clear piss in the toilet. No substance and absolutely not what it was supposed to be.
I get many women who email me for advice. Usually I never hear back from them because they don’t like what I have to say. Truth hurts. But if you want to make a living at being a Domme DON’T GO IN TO FINANCIAL DOMINATION. The reality is, if you niche yourself in some way the money will follow anyway. Most good financial domination relationships don’t start out that way. They start out as just D & s and the financial aspects naturally follow. Logic dictates if you’re playing online the only way to serve IS financially.
It’s like tattoos. Personally I hate them. I think they make women especially look like longshoremen. And now almost every person on the planet has a tattoo. Therefore if you want to truly be different and stand out from the crowd DON’T GET A TATTOO. If you want to truly be a Domme with a lasting business DON’T BE A FINDOM. It’s overdone and you become a small fish in a now very big, very diluted ocean, not pond.
So I’m not saying that if you make your living flashing your bits that you’re wrong. You’re not, go right ahead and do that but calling yourself a financial dominatrix is a lie because you aren’t dominating anyone. You’re giving away the goods and as soon as you give those goods away you’ve leveled the playing field and you are no longer in a dominant position. The same holds true for Dommes who have sex with their subs. You’ve just destroyed the Dominant/submissive aspect of the relationship.
So my advice to newbies just coming in to the world of online domination is LEARN YOUR CRAFT FIRST. Niche yourself with the myriad of fetishes out there and never, ever call yourself a FinDom. Cause if you do, you just made yourself…BASIC.
Caveat: This article has caused some ladies heads to explode. I’ve been told I’m “Kink Shaming.” (Sorry but I find that term hilarious) If you choose to read this and only see negativity that is your choice. No where in this article do I say that doing porn is wrong or bad. I have many friends who do porn, strip and escort and I would never, ever say what they do is wrong. If you enjoy what you do, have at ‘er I’ll support you 100%.
Nor do I say that there are no good Findoms. There are! Both OG and new. They are good because they took the time to learn how to do it correctly. If you actually took the time to really listen to what I had to say you would see I’m simply pointing out that the real aspects of Financial Domination have been lost and watered down due to desperate times. Therefore a smart person getting in to the game now wouldn’t throw themselves in to a business model that is saturated, tainted and dying. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do FinDom but you need to make yourself unique.
This article IS brutally honest but that’s how I roll I have never sugar coated anything because we all have smoke being blown up our asses on a daily basis and I don’t plan to add to that. You can choose to hate me and call me names, that’s cool I can take it. You can shut down my site, that’s cool I’ll just put it back up again. I’m not going to be silenced and I’m not going anywhere. I don’t have a problem with you disagreeing with me CONSTRUCTIVELY that’s what the comment section is for but if you’re just going to spew hate I’m not listening.
I’m not bitter because I sucked at FinDom. I’ve been in D & s for over 35 years in one way or another (both Pro and online). I chose a while ago to move in to fetish psychology so I could help men primarily be comfortable with their kinks and fetishes so that they can come to YOU ladies and have fun. It’s what I enjoy and have had a calling to do from a very young age but one can’t help someone if they haven’t experienced it. Now you can look at that as some sort of failure if you want but I look at what I’ve been through as more of an evolution. I have many years of wisdom to impart to those who want to hear it. If you don’t want to hear it, simply close the page and move on. That’s what grown ups do.
The fact that I have to explain all this is, in my OPINION, ridiculous but hey some people need flash cards. Oh there I go shaming again… (And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m never going to be overly PC either.) But as you can see below MOST women and men…get it.
So very true! Excellent piece! https://t.co/8MFvMk2Ux6
— Madam Cruella (@MadamCruella) March 21, 2016
— Miss Krystal Goddess (@LatinaGoddessFD) March 21, 2016
@DoctorSue Beautifully written
— ??$†??$$ $?†??? (@DommeGinger) March 18, 2016
@_BeckySurreal @DoctorSue Dr. Sue, I was wondering if it had run its course too.
Although some aspects do seem to still resonate.— SamanthaSummers TSSP (@LadySummersTSSP) March 18, 2016
Yes! The ladies I follow on twitter do it right and I have a few Finsubs still but this is why I moved on mainly. https://t.co/jVREo7wh7J
— Becky Surreal (@_BeckySurreal) March 18, 2016
@DoctorSue ???
— Mistress Cruel Dama (@CruelDama) March 18, 2016
That was a very truthful, straightforward and well written article Dr. Sue. Excellent. https://t.co/KN0eU8RDa8
— Mistress Carol (@mistressc1) March 18, 2016
Great article! https://t.co/lngK7Piyft
— Sasha Conceited (@sasha_conceited) March 18, 2016
Thanks for sharing that, from my sub point of view it’s something that needs to be said even if some don’t like it https://t.co/9mRmklZlwP
— Cinnamon (@supersubG) March 18, 2016
Ugh. SO MUCH about the current findom culture drives Me crazy, and I totally understand where you’re coming from, Sue. I have tried to mentor several women who thought exactly that – quick easy money with no work or responsibility. They think making a Niteflirt and a Twitter makes them immediately Financial Domme material without bothering to learn any other skills or put in anything except a couple hours in front of the selfie cam. That’s why Pretty Punk Princesses has only 3 active Findoms. It takes more work than the rest could handle.
I get SO MUCH HELL for saying exactly what You said – Financial Dommes do not do nudes. And DOMMES, no matter what your niche, need to be educated and well informed. Don’t give Me that ‘I was born with it’ bullshit. Sure, you may have been born with a Dominant personality and a desire to be sexually Dominant as well, but if you tell Me you’ve never been through any training or classes, I will not let you NEAR any of My personal subs.
This is why, while I love an TRULY get sexual pleasure out of being Financial Dominant, I have been focusing on My other fetishes lately instead. Small penis humiliation, blackmail, and beat down have made Me FAR more money in 2017 than all of My finsubs put together. Sure, I’ll still hashtag or make a clip about findom every now and then because I DO still enjoy it, but the payout is no longer worth the effort put in.
Excellent article thank you!
This issue is nothing new. I have practiced some of FD practically all my life. Since about 1970. Even before FinDom was called FinDom. I have seen FD’s come and go and some even die.
The vast majority all those years of those claiming to be FD were never FD’s. Just simple Con Artist Scammers who use their Sex Appeal to get $ from men who are desperate, lonely, and mentally disturbed. Those FD’s should be in jail for the frauds they are.
I have had many issues with you as well. You complain of the “Hate” (which you have spewed against me). You promoted Fakery within FD as well. You even promoted fake FD’s in your articles and programs
Here is some Truth and reality which you often reject: FD is about Sex. True FD requires a real relationship and to be for life. Yes, equivalent to a Marriage. If only a Pseudo Marriage. That includes reproduction. Also Loyalty, Relationship, Support and Love between the FD and her Slave.
Your definition of FD is not FD. Which is why I think is frustrating you to despair.
What is defined as FD by the vast majority frustrates me as well. So I know how you feel. Just from a different perspective.
You forgot to add the fact that findommes are sociopath monsters who get off on ruining people’s lives as well as being admitted female supremacists. You’re a female supremacist too though, so of course you wouldn’t mention that. How any self-respecting woman (or Domme for that matter) could idolize reprehensible people like Princess Sierra and Sydney Leathers is disgusting. What’s maybe more disgusting is how this is becoming an ubiquitous trend in ALL western women, kinky or vanilla.
The way these faux Dommes mock their subs’ fetishes is really sickening. To the male subs: Just because you’re a submissive male, doesn’t mean you have to take extreme abuse. Money doesn’t have to be involved in a D/s relationship in any way, shape or form if you don’t want it to.
First of all Tom I agree with you on most of your points 100%. However I am NOT a female supremacist. As a matter of fact I am working on an article about Domination and sociopathy/psychopathy. What I have been observing within the D & s ‘scene’ is beyond disturbing. Another reason why I will NEVER back female supremacy. These women are not supreme in any way.
I look forward to that article Dr Sue!
Thanks Pat!
Thanks for the great article. I am a submissive (not out of the closet type) and have been attracted to findom for a few years. However, having joined social sites and twitter, I got no joy from the ‘send me a tribute and maybe I’ll talk to you” Dommes. Sending money for a picture or video of a perfect ass doesn’t work for me. That said I have spend several thousands once I made contact on skype. Unfortunately none were cunning enough to bring it to a “no choice for me” situation. As it’s all online for me, findom is probably the best way to make me feel the heat. I’ve kind of given hope but still dream of being snapped up, taken and left with no choice.
You are fair to say this honestly. I am a naturally dominant female. I am also a very high-level empath. Therefore, as enjoyable as FinDom can be, a real and legitimate FinDom will have a solid, workable knowledge of Psychology. This is absolutely crucial. Yes, you *should* absolutely give a damn about your PayPig. You should never take pleasure in the suffering of another. Being a PayPig should be an ENJOYABLE experience for him too. I once saw a post by “Princess Sierra” that showed one of her pigs holding up his eviction notice. This is NOT sexy and absolutely not ok. His face was heartbreaking. He was an ADDICT clearly and the actual pleasure had left the building a long time ago. A true FD respects her Pigs. In fact, she will hold them in hire regard than most anyone else. She has a responsibility to be mindful of the situation at all times. Exploiting a mental health condition is deplorable. A real FD carries herself like the Queen that she truly is. A born Queen is not without mercy. I have dipped on this community because it became despicable and desperate to me. If you NEED the money? You are not legit. I don’t blame you for ultimately being turned off and never finding your diamond. You will almost never find it. As a Domme, I too am equally turned off. I truly enjoyed my time with my PayPigs. I looked forward to our cam sessions and his tribute and loyalty DID turn me on. That is how this should work. Very unfortunate I find.
Is this news?
Personally, I never got the whole financial domination thing. Maybe because it is done the way you are describing it, Dr Sue. When I have pointed this out to women I have been called every name in the book and accused of not respecting other people’s desires. Who am I to judge them?
Some Dommes have referred to stripping as female domination. Men throwing money at women in strip clubs is submission. They are worshiping her as a Goddess? HA! Really? In my younger days I spent a few nights in a strip club. I never thought of the women shaking their shit as Goddesses. They were toys. Throwing them $2 to grind on you, known as the “two dollar slide,” was not showing them the ultimate respect. It was a bunch of guys getting drunk, copping a cheap feel and having a laugh with the boys.
Great depiction of gynecology vs sexy, LOL. That’s exactly what it is. Another thing I never got into was porn magazines. I never knew why my friends considered the “spread eagle” as such a hot position. I found it overt and gross. But maybe I’m a weirdo.
Cheers.
-Pat
See Pat this is why I love you. And no you’re not a weirdo. 99% of everyone understood what I was talking about and agreed. It’s the 1% that freak because they know it’s true. And as I said, the truth hurts. I will defend your right to make money any way you want. Just don’t call yourself dominant or a findom.
I think your article is 100% on the mark. As a sub who served a findom in realtime, I saw how she (and her findom friends) regularly submitted to online subs wishes (Jumping on webcam, sending them custom pics, etc) in order to make $ or have gifts bought for them. IMO if you are the one performing for a so called “sub” to make $, how in gods name can you refer to yourself as any type of Domme? Its their money that is controlling you, not you controlling them.. Sure they may be paying while they are humiliating themselves on web cam for you, but they (and their $) are the ones in control and they are getting exactly what they want out of it. unless you are doing blackmail on your sub, once that sub/slave decides to shut off the money flow their servitude to you is over..
Thank you sub boi!! The Domme becomes the sub even if they don’t mean it to be that way. There is no power exchange at all or it’s going in the wrong direction.
BINGO!!
Nothing wrong with women using their assets, just call it what it is.
I enjoyed the article! Lots of great points. Good to have someone saying it like it is.
Add me to the list of bitter old women,for I have known this for years. The gong rang,and the funeral wreath has withered.
Thank you for always telling it like it is,even if it burns like a cocklebur under an ass cheek. Much love and appreciation for your honesty!
Love ya women xoox