I like to listen to those of you who are reading my articles. Comments are fantastic, provided they are constructive, because you can get an idea of how people are thinking. And lately there has been a lot of chatter about my article Top 6 Reasons Cuckolding Can Kill Your Relationship, which is great, and a couple of the comments brought up some myths I want to dispel about the cuckold lifestyle. Rather than send you over to the article to read them I’ve brought them over here.
Mikey wrote:
[sic]“What ever happened to fidelity in a relationship. If my girlfriend ever suggested cuckolding our relationship would be over. No discussions. I am only for monogamous relationships. How can she love you when she is having sex with other men. In my opinion it can’t be done no matter how much you try to talk yourself that it can.”
Roy wrote:
[sic]“I agree with Mikey here. It seems like cuckolding is more of a psychological perversion rather than an “enjoyable ” lifestyle. I am assuming Dr Sue here is female, so obviously you would love the lifestyle because you get to enjoy multiple dicks while your cuckboy husband would watch. The reason it is not possible to love someone while having sex with others is because of oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone released by the human neuro-chemical transmitter, which promotes pair-bonding between two people. This is usually released during sexual climax, so go figure . Most men who accept this lifestyle usually have low self esteem or they watched too much porn that they can’t differentiate reality from fantasy. But if it works for you, more power to you, for me though, I’d like to have my girl all to myself and not share her with other guys.”
Ok let me start off by addressing what is clearly some hostile feelings regarding the subject of cuckolding. Mikey and Roy, you guys need to chill out. No one is making you do this so why are you so incensed by it? As long as it’s not being done to you, you’re good. Let people live their lives as they see fit, regardless of whether or not you agree with how they do it. Just as you said Roy.
But Mikey and Roy also bring up some common myths that get perpetuated over and over and really need to stop.
Myth #1 – A Woman Cannot Possibly Love Her Husband if She Has Sex with Other Men
I shouldn’t have to tell you that in this day and age there are many ways in which people can love one another and express those feelings. Of course a wife can love her husband and have sex with other men. Isn’t it a man’s most common come back to say, “it was just sex,” when he’s caught cheating? Why is it okay for a man to say this but not a woman? And in this case she’s not cheating because her husband not only “allows” it but enjoys her sexual freedom.
Cuckolding is not about what you see in porn. It’s about a loving relationship whereby a woman, for whatever reason between that couple, has sex with men other than her husband. Something men have been doing for millennia. But it’s interesting that when a woman decides she’s going to be sexually free that men get offended and angry about it.
Cuckolding is simply an off-shoot of swinging with the female in power. So how is swinging okay with men but cuckolding isn’t? Women are still having sex with other men with their husband’s permission. But the minute a woman controls her sex life and her man’s that just blows the misogynistic mind.
When a man is adamant that his wife, gf or SO, will not ever, never, never ever, never fuck another man, that tells me he’s insecure. If you were truly a secure monogamous man you wouldn’t worry about what other people are doing because you know you have a solid relationship. Most secure guys just say, “that’s cool but it’s not for me, or us.” And that’s the end of the subject. They don’t go trolling websites about alternative lifestyles and then freak out on those who engage in them. So Mikey you may want to do some soul searching.
Myth #2 – The Wife Never Has Sex with Her Husband
This is a porn myth. Cuckolding has become quite bastardized because of male influence. Very submissive men don’t want their wives to have sex with them so they make up this garbage about not having sex with their wives.
When cuckolding is done in a safe, sane and of course consensual manner, you always have sex with your husband because you’re not replacing him. See males read some fiction or watch porn and think you are automatic scholars on cuckolding. When in fact, what you read and what you watch is so far from reality that for many of you, you get disappointed when you see that’s not what it’s about. Now THAT is a psychological perversion.
Most cuckold couples engage in sex this way maybe six times a year. It’s not every night the way it’s portrayed. Who the fuck has time for that shit? And I’ll argue this one til the cows come home. You aren’t cuckolding at all if you’re not having sex with your spouse. At that point you’re in a full time D & s relationship. [Sexual dysfunction notwithstanding] So that blows your oxytocin argument out of the water because you are still being intimate with one another.
Myth #3 – Cuckold Men Are Weak and Poor
Roy you do a lot of assuming in your comment. Like this:
“I am assuming Dr Sue here is female, so obviously you would love the lifestyle because you get to enjoy multiple dicks while your cuckboy husband would watch.”
And
“Most men who accept this lifestyle usually have low self esteem…”
The only thing you got right was, yes I’m a woman. But Roy is not the only one who thinks this way about cuckold men. Many men automatically go to the “cuckboy” moniker as a way to demean the male. Notice how it’s said as though Roy is spitting the words out. It disgusts him that men would engage in this behavior. And Roy has the right to feel that way, it’s cool. But Roy isn’t the only one who looks at men who enjoy cuckolding with vitriol.
So many people think that because a man wants to see his wife enjoy her sexual freedom and power that it makes him weak. Nothing could be farther from the truth. When done correctly it takes balls-of-steel for a man to watch his wife have sex with another man and not only not freak out but actually enjoy it himself.
My husband is in no way weak or wimpy. He is quite dominant at work just like every other male. He’s not even that submissive he just enjoys occasionally watching me have fun with other men. And he makes very good money. That’s another wacky part to this. It’s like men think that any guy who would participate in this is somehow mentally incapacitated and therefore must only work for minimum wage. Not true. Most cuckolded men are corporate heads and business owners.
But I WILL say that Roy is correct in one aspect.
“…they watched too much porn that they can’t differentiate reality from fantasy.”
For so many of you boys who really want this type of lifestyle you have based it on some of the most fantasmagorical bullshit I’ve ever seen. You allow other men to come into your relationships and your lives and turn it upside down. You have this perverted idea that you are ‘loaning’ your wife to other men to be sexually obliterated. That’s not submissive behavior, that’s just twisted voyeurism and as I’ve said before, you need to ask yourself why you hate your wife so much that you want to see her sexually annihilated by men with giant cocks.
But in the end Roy sums it up perfectly…
“But if it works for you, more power to you, for me though, I’d like to have my girl all to myself and not share her with other guys.”
It may not be for you, but don’t disparage those who do enjoy it.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments below.
Notice you left out the part about pair-bonding, that’s a real thing. A lot of guys come hear to do research about this topic. Should they not be able to ask questions. I’m not trying to start anything, but for you to man-bash and man-hate as you do in most of your articles there’s no way your husband has to be weak. From what I’ve read and heard from your audio it’s all about what the woman wants and her sexual needs. And if you say anything well than your just scared of a strong woman. No what I’m scared of is being took advantage of because of my sexual proclivities and being disrespected in my relationship. It’s not hard to learn that your not gonna be every woman’s “best” but that’s how this starts so she can be fulfilled sexually,but what about me and my needs. If she willing to do things with others then tells me I don’t get to do that and it’s just for them. I’m told that this is a female led relationship and she’s the dominant one and that’s how it is. If I’m trying something it should be obvious why I doing it, because I try and see if I like it but when I’m told no. Because she’s read that’s it’s all about her, what am I to do. She gets to to find the best sex she can get from someone off the street. Mean while I do all the bullshit parts of the relationship like taking out the garbage, putting clothes in washer emptying the dishwasher and paying bills. But when it comes to the fun part of the relationship, when it comes time to do the nasty stuff I’m told no but yet he’s allowed. One would start to think that they have been groomed by someone who believes it’s there right for no other reason then their female. But they still need someone around that’s stable and gets a paycheck. I find it hard to believe that a woman could see her SO in any other way then beneath her and her partners. The lack of respect I’ve seen and heard can only come from where the woman that believes if he was worth what he wants he wouldn’t let some other guy fuck me b
This sounds like the ramblings of a butt hurt male to me. Let me remind you that NO ONE is asking you to live this way. No one is insisting that you do cuckolding a certain way, let alone at all. So why are you trippin when this has nothing to do with you. Whether you cuckold or do an FLR is up to the couple. It’s not the fucking 10 Commandments that are carved in stone. Cuckolding and FLR are not mutually exclusive. You can do one, the other or both. But you did hit on a very important point. No woman wants her husband to pass her off to another man. So could she be waiting for you to be a fucking man and say NO!, for many women the answer to that is YES!!
ALSO, since you sign your comment b. Why are you hiding behind the name of a gay, black, man? Just curious.
Roy’s comment really rubs Me the wrong way… I don’t have any cuckolding relationships in My personal life but I AM poly and My partners and I both sleep with people other than each other. Let Me tell you, it’s THE MOST fulfilling type of relationship I’ve been in in My entire life. I love them both dearly and more fiercely than I have any monogamous partners because, for Me, monogamy is not an option.
And please don’t try to (incorrectly) mansplain how oxytocin works to the actual doctor… ? I’m not a doctor, but I know that oxytocin is not the magical monogamy chemical. It happens when you hug someone, when I snuggle My fur babies, when a mother holds and feeds her baby. It even happens in dogs brains towards us and other pack members too. The way Roy’s comment reads it sounds like he sees sex as the only legitimate type of intimacy that can be enjoyed between two people.