Rich once again, has brought up a couple of good points for you newbies who are considering getting in to financial domination that should be mentioned.
Blackmail was and still occasionally is something I love doing. Unlike many of the girls I never had a slave or blackmail application. I think asking someone for all their info is quite honestly anticlimactic. You fill out the form with all your info and hell what’s there for the Domme to do It takes away a huge part of the thrill; knowing she’s found out info about you that you didn’t give her. Of course you will always let things slip in conversation with her which always helps and gives her a starting point. For me I love hunting for info on you guys, I enjoy it so it’s fun for me and that’s why I don’t go the easy route.
The point Rich brought up was blackmail contracts. Blackmail contracts are a crock. If you think they are legal and binding you are very sadly mistaken. If you think that just because you have an agreement with a Domina with a buy-out clause that you’re safe, again you are very wrong. Don’t get caught up in the false sense of security of a contract that has no value. Your Domme doesn’t have to abide by it nor do you for that matter so it’s all smoke and mirrors.
So you have a contract or an agreement of some kind with a Domme, you feel like ‘hey this is no problem I can always get out of it,’ WRONG!! When you enter in to any kind of arrangement with a financial Domme it is her way or the highway guys. As Rich pointed out, you’re there to make her life easier, pay her bills etc. Do you seriously think that turning off that tap is going to make her happy and she’s going to let it go? If you’ve been contributing to her mortgage or her utilities and you just say ‘I don’t wanna,’ she’s going to say ‘Oh okay, see ya!’ Not a chance Lance. Now not all girls are that ruthless but it’s best to err on the side of caution and assume that she is. Oh and by the way, crying, begging and pleading has no effect on a true financial Domme, it just makes us smile more because it shows we’re doing our job.
Advice to you newbies is to really think about it before you enter in to any agreement with a Domme. I make guys think at least 2 days before saying they want to jump in the deep end. Now I’m not as hardcore as a lot of the girls and usually, depending on the reason, I let you buy out but if the reason is lame or I’m in a bad mood, you’re not going anywhere and neither is your cash.
There’s lots of ways to play the financial domination game without long term commitment too. You can play in spurts of having her take a lot once in a while as opposed to promising to pay a set amount at a certain time all the time. You can simply mail her money or Visa cards or buy her gifts from her wishlist. It’s dancing on the edge without really getting sucked in but don’t think that she won’t try to sink her teeth in while you’re doing this. Financial domination is a dangerous but incredibly erotic and sexy game to play and as with anything just be careful who you’re playing with. Or don’t and really feel the thrill of the roller coaster ride from hell, but man it’s a hot way to go.
Hi Dr Sue
find this arcticle fascinating. Not sure why it pushes some buttons for me. Never dreamed i might be open to something like this. Common sense says no no but my arousal level wants to throw common sense out the window
thank you for sharing
gweggy
Dear D Sue,
I loved reding Your posting here. It was a plesure to read someone who undersatnds how important it can be for the sub to feel the inrterest of the domme when she srearches for information. Additionally that gives the thrill everytime when the sub discovers the new information that the domme has on him.
I do also aagree tht once the sub commits hiomself to blackmail ( or even nother relation ) with a domme, he gives out most or even complete control to the domme, and as You! said, a findomme rarely shows compassion 🙂
respect
jcquetje
All I can say is – ‘be careful what you wish for’. I just finished a six month agreement. The final tally was just over $11,500 financially which was about $4,500 more than we had agreed to a maximum going in, but ‘special’ circumstances occurred where she felt it was appropriate that i spend more than initially thought.
The money was bad enough – the humiliation, embarassment, risk, other things as bad. Ever masturbated 4 times on a Monday at work – after masturbating 10 times Sunday? Rented a motel room in response to a CL ad she’s controlling and you give NQNS blow jobs? Ever send someone a Text message every hour for 60 consecutive hours – each miss costing you $100 – each consecutive miss costing you $100 more than the previous one? Go the Grocery store using face time on your cell phone to buy three largea cucumbers and condoms = with nothing else, knowing that if the clerk asks “did you find everything’ that you have to ask if they have lube and women’s panties? Ever set down in front of web cam with a quart of vodka and have to have a conversation for at least one hour and every time you say one of three key words you have to take a shot ——- the key words being “I” – “NO” and “You”?
Guys – it sounds ‘fun”, “enticing”, dangerous —— but it’s more than you want.
Greet you drSue,
i loved you posting. Finally a domina who recognises how rewarding it is when the sub experiences the interest the domina shows in him when she delves his info out herself. Additioanlly it is indeed a huge thrill every time the domin turns up new information.
I do lso share Your view tht once the blackmail starts, all the power is in the hands of the domina, whatever agreemennts seem to have been made
respect
jacquetje.
Dr sue,
Im thinking of giving my financial domme the power of blackmailing me. I think it would b smart to consider the consequences tho. Wat kind of info would I hav to surrender to her? And I agree with u saying there is no way out. I kno once I giv her wat she needs for blackmailing me, it will always b her way or the highway.
#1 Please understand that when you are replying to anything online you are expected to use full sentences. This is not texting and it makes you look completely uneducated. But who know maybe you are.
What will your Mistress want as far as info from you? That is strictly up to her. However most would need all of the following:
Name, address, phone number(s), workplace name, address, phone number(s), if you are in a relationship all of your spouses information including her work info and phone number(s). She may or may not request: all banking info and access to all online banks, all passwords to your Paypal, bank, Yahoo, Twitter or any other social networking site. All passwords will be changed usually so you won’t have access.
Apart from that, it is up to your Mistress she’s the one who knows you and knows what she wants her end game to be.
Good Luck! 😀
I’m sorry, but anyone who gives this kind of information to a stranger deserves whatever they get. As long as we’re giving grammar lessons, that’s Idiot – with a capital “I”.
Be warned guys – this is prime territory for predators.
You’ll find that most men who have reached the blackmail stage are ramping things up from a negative place. Financial Domination in most cases follows a pattern of increasing risk. Again, coming from the need for a ‘loss of control’. By the time they hit “blackmail me” stage they literally don’t give a shit and crave both the fear and the weakness. Unfortunately when you reach that stage rational thought is gone which is why you’re right it’s damn dangerous but they don’t care. For them that’s the whole point of the game. It’s how they get their ‘high’.
It’s the same for several men I’ve spoken with very recently who are having unprotected sex with other males they meet on CraigsList and then going home and fucking their wives who think they’re married to a monogamous guy. I’ve been trying to probe deeper to figure out why they need such a high risk factor to not only their own lives but those of the innocent people they will inevitable affect and I have no answer to that yet. It’s the way the addictive mind works. High at all cost. They care but they don’t care all at the same time. Problem, is as soon as I start discussing their behavior and how it isn’t fair to their wives they cave and hang up. That’s one of the drawbacks to not doing these sessions in person. It’s too easy to run from the hard stuff.
But rational thinking such as yours will not enter in to their minds. If it does it gets over-ridden by the addiction. So they are idiots who are under the spell of their own minds which in turn takes rational off the table. What I’d like people to start to pay attention to is the pre-behavior of ‘I need more risk and danger’ that’s a warning sign.
That sounds about right, Dr Sue. Most addicts will destroy themselves before they get any better. It’s sad. I guess I can related to that mindset though because I can’t control my submissive urges even though I want them to go away. Luckily, I don’t have a self destructive tendency or maybe I would be in the same boat.
Who are these dommes though? Do they get off on seeing someone destroy themselves? Ok, so he went to her and asked for blackmail…does she not have any responsibility in this? If a guy goes to a domme to be whipped she doesn’t beat him until he’s dead. She has a responsibility to play safe. Financial domination seems, to me, to be just a breeding ground for opportunistic predators.
mmm financial blackmail is the best ever, been doing it fo ryears and nver experienced anything better.
I got into the blackmail game quite unintentionally. A hypnodomme who I’d had a relationship with got ahold of the woman to whom I confide all my secrets. The domme spent 7 hours breaking down my friend and then drained her of all the secrets she was keeping. Then she presented me with the bill. I paid $1500 immediately, and another $8,000 over the next month. The domme kept control of my friend for about 9 months. It was scary and expensive at the time; but looking back on it now, I was sorry when it ended.
Hello Dr. Sue, thankyou, your insight and advice is once again unparallel. I appreciate you posting my thoughts. Maybe some will be educated by this first before jumping in with both feet. But there’re clever and very manipulative Dommes out there who’re extremely good at what they do, so as some may heed the warnings, so many more will be ensnared by the beautiful and intelligent Mistresses they approach. I did want to state though, when i submit these thoughts i by know way fault the Findom, i mean as you have stated many times Dr. Sue they don’t seek the submissive out, it’s the other way around, the submissive seeks her out, and then in one day your entire world can change.
It’s very true Rich. All a Financial Domme is doing is HER JOB! You can’t rape the willing gentlemen.