I get a lot of questions regarding humiliation and fetish. Some guys don’t think it’s good for them even though they enjoy it. Some guys think they’re going nuts because they shouldn’t enjoy it. It can be a confusing subject that needn’t be confusing.
Humiliation usually runs alongside another fetish such as Financial Domination or Feminization for example and is very common. In the case of Financial Domination some men enjoy the humiliation of having had their wallets raped. But there are submissives who just love being humiliated, period. That usually runs side-by-side with small penises. They love being told that their penises aren’t worth fucking, that they aren’t alpha males and never will be or that they just don’t deserve to be having sex in the first place. Whatever the enjoyment the key that you need to remember is ENJOYMENT!
Is humiliation bad for you? That’s a fine line that you need to monitor yourself. Here’s a rule of thumb that I teach; if when you’re humiliated you feel really bad either while it’s being done or afterward then yes this will have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem. However if you find it erotic and a turn-on and you don’t come out of a session feeling like a sack of shit then it’s fine to play.
And yes I realize that feeling like a sack of shit is part of the turn-on, hence the word humiliation but that’s why I say it’s a very fine line. If it’s just a straight turn on and when it’s all over you can compartmentalize that it’s all in name of a good time you’re doing great and go ahead and indulge. However if you start to feel like you aren’t worth anything, that you really do suck as a human being then we have a problem.
Just because you’re submissive and a Domme is telling you you’re worthless doesn’t mean you’re worthless as a human being. (Sorry ladies but submissives have a place in this world too and a valuable one at that.) Everyone has a place in this world, a reason to be here and joy to bring to themselves. How you get your joy is your own business but it should never, ever be at the expense of your own self-esteem. Everyone is worthy of something. Your dick may be too small but you will be very useful in other ways.
So I reiterate my point that if the humiliation is compartmentalized and you use it to get off and you’re cool with yourself when it’s all over, GO FOR IT. But if you come out of a session honestly thinking you’re useless, STOP PLAYING!
I want a girl with bigger penis than mine; even mine isn’t small, I need a girl (ts) like that and she can tell me all kind of humiliating stuff. like you are short, I’m superior than you in every way, I don’t like you, I preferr other guys, you are a loser, you have to pay for sex, I have sex with others for free but never with you, shorty, I’m way bigger than you, etc etc…
it turns me on, and when I’m done I feel like crap. I don’t enjoy also the all the male aspects, only the humiliation part. before this happened to me, women was heaven, but i feel i don’t deserve them. and it was 1000 times more exiting btw, but also a source of frustration, cause they never choose me for whatever reason… then i develop this new TS “taste” who can help me?
What do you feel you need help with Carl? You seem to enjoy your submission and humiliation, why can’t you do so with no regrets?
as I said, it was 10000 times better with women.
i felt good before, during the act and after… there was no punishment issue needed… and it was way more exciting!!! I know that for sure… so that’s false. i forgot to say, love is not envolved with my humiliation need; love was involved with women only. If I was happy with this situation i wouldn’t post it here in first place
Ok Carl, I’m simply trying to help. Can the hostility. If you hate the fact that you’re loving humiliation then stop indulging in it. There is magical pill to fix you. If your sex life was more exciting before then stop the behaviour. It’s that simple, yet that hard. But you don’t need humiliation to survive and you aren’t addicted to an actual substance so the stopping should be much easier. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. The less you indulge in it, the less you’ll have a need for it. Go back to regular porn etc.
The hard part is to find someone that understands and respects you after they find out you NEED humiliation. My first wife cheated on me while we where separated and after she admitted it to me all I could think about was that another man had sex with her. I finally admitted to her that it turned me on knowing she had sex with other men. She called me a pervert and soon afterwards left me.
Do any women really love and respect a husband that enjoys them have sex with other men?
What about a guy who fantasizes about a scenario in which he inexplicably finds himself in his underwear in front of a large group of women, who are laughing at his very unfortunate and very public circumstances? The humiliation he feels from being a laughing stock is enormously erotic. Being made to look like a fool in front of scores of giggling women is an unfathomable erotic rush. There is no nudity in his fantasy. Just being reduced to a pant-less public spectacle is the genesis of the fantasy. Most of the women simply laugh, as one would expect. However, a percentage of the ladies sense his humiliation and despair and react with empathy and an almost nurturing response Of course it only makes his embarrassment worse. Would love to hear commentary or thoughts on this.
hi my humiliation stems from when i was about 12 and my mum caught me in her clothes i was spanked and made to stay dressed and over the years family and friends see this so was a complete laughing stock growing up especaiily being teased at school and now im in my 40s i still get turned on by being humiiated by women u thought id run a mile after what my mother did but its just the opposite
lee
For me, this interest is very frustrating to try to understand. I am 20 years old and my track record with women isn’t absolutely incredible but I would say the average man would respect it. A few of my friends even look up to me as if I know more about getting girls than they do which is somehow both true and false. For some reason, hearing girls tell me I’m not good enough to ever get with them breaks me and motivates me at the same time. For one, I have gotten with girls very good looking and they have generally respected me. I am also generally well respected by my male counterparts in everyday life. However, this respect does not always feel genuine to me or even rightfully deserved. I often feel guilty that people seem to like me, even when I have done nothing for them to really like. I scoff when the girl in bed says something along the lines of ‘oh my god it’s so good/big/deep.’ Why? I don’t know. I’m kind of a paranoid guy I guess and perhaps this fetish as you may call it is a way for me to take a step back and re-evaluate what is actually true and false about me physically and socially. Like I said though, this interest has been frustrating to me because at a certain point I became so attached to degrading myself via internet videos that it seriously hurt my ability to be even mildly confident about myself in the real world. I started to believe the things that were being said and kind of let it consume me. I have tried to get away from it all together but this effort seems futile at this point in time. I am trying to accept what this is and find balance so that I can exist as a well-respected and intelligible male in society without feeling unwanted shame and guilt for being generally successful.
Hello, I am a female into humilation. Pat, I think it’s important to never take it too seriously always remember it is just role play and mellow drama that you do for release, don’t let it carry into your life.
I love being humiliated and degraded. I do feel terrible afterwards. I have always had low self esteem and self worth. I also have a micropenis. The thing is that I really enjoy it. I feel like crap afterwards but while its happening its exhilarating. I know it all started as a defense mechanism. I have been used and abused by many people in my life starting when I was a child. I don’t care what the reasons are because I enjoy being treated like crap. I know I’ll never find a meaningful relationship this way but I feel that this is what I deserve.
I understand you in not all but many levels, almost everything you said… I’m looking for answers too
Thank you for this. I feel so guilty after getting off to beautiful women telling me its small. I don’t know why, I often wish i could stop it. I guess the only thing to do is embrace it.
This thing is really an unresolved problem in my life. You see, for some reason, the most sexually exciting thing I can think of is a spoiled, bratty, hot young girl humiliating me and telling me that I would never have a chance with such a hot girl, how ugly and dorky I am, etc. The problem is, all of this is true. I was always the guy who was ignored by hot girls, greeted with rolling eyes if caught staring at one. So this is reality for me, not just a role I get into when phantasizing about being humiliated.
So, naturally, I have low self-esteem. I’m also frustrated as these fantasies never really happen, I just think about them.
2 times in my life I got together with girls that were of my league. While dating them, I still always phantasized about the hot girls, telling me that a loser like me has to settle for the ugly girls. So even when I was with real girls, when being with them, I was only excited because an image of a hot spoiled girl in my mind was telling me “I see you have accepted your place and got on with a lesser woman. I’m glad you’re at last realistic with your chances, loser.”
Now, what do I do? I hate having low-self esteem. It’s making my life a pain. I’m pretty sure that if I could get a hot girl, I wouldn’t need humiliation, she would satisfy me. But that will probably never happen, and I’m really unhappy that the only thing I will get in life is being humiliated by girls I could never have.
The first question you need to ask yourself is, Do I want a spoiled, bratty, hot woman who humiliates me? Although the “hot” part is good, what man wants that type of woman in reality? How could a woman like that possibly make you happy? You have low self esteem because you believe that you are a loser in reality, not just fantasy. You must learn to love who you are and not listen to brainless chicks. Once you do that, your self esteem will elevate and the women will see you differently. And never, ever let any woman tell you what your place is or should be. In my opinion, they are the losers because they have to make you look bad to in order to feel good about themselves.
Your advice sound reasonable, Dr. Sue; if humiliation makes you feel bad then stop playing. But for a lot of guys that drive will still torment them. For me, the attraction to humiliation is deep rooted and I don’t think I can ever forget about it, even though I have tried. I would like to just leave it and forget it but it isn’t that easy.
I am one of those guys that feels I shouldn’t enjoy it and that is what is most disturbing to me, even more than actual humiliation. It bothers me because I feel the concept itself is wrong. Suppressing the humiliation fetish isn’t an option for me. So I would love to be able to compartmentalize it, enjoy it, and move on.
Do you have any suggestion how one might enjoy it and not carry it over to every day life?