I get a lot of questions regarding humiliation and fetish. Some guys don’t think it’s good for them even though they enjoy it. Some guys think they’re going nuts because they shouldn’t enjoy it. It can be a confusing subject that needn’t be confusing.
Humiliation usually runs alongside another fetish such as Financial Domination or Feminization for example and is very common. In the case of Financial Domination some men enjoy the humiliation of having had their wallets raped. But there are submissives who just love being humiliated, period. That usually runs side-by-side with small penises. They love being told that their penises aren’t worth fucking, that they aren’t alpha males and never will be or that they just don’t deserve to be having sex in the first place. Whatever the enjoyment the key that you need to remember is ENJOYMENT!
Is humiliation bad for you? That’s a fine line that you need to monitor yourself. Here’s a rule of thumb that I teach; if when you’re humiliated you feel really bad either while it’s being done or afterward then yes this will have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem. However if you find it erotic and a turn-on and you don’t come out of a session feeling like a sack of shit then it’s fine to play.
And yes I realize that feeling like a sack of shit is part of the turn-on, hence the word humiliation but that’s why I say it’s a very fine line. If it’s just a straight turn on and when it’s all over you can compartmentalize that it’s all in name of a good time you’re doing great and go ahead and indulge. However if you start to feel like you aren’t worth anything, that you really do suck as a human being then we have a problem.
Just because you’re submissive and a Domme is telling you you’re worthless doesn’t mean you’re worthless as a human being. (Sorry ladies but submissives have a place in this world too and a valuable one at that.) Everyone has a place in this world, a reason to be here and joy to bring to themselves. How you get your joy is your own business but it should never, ever be at the expense of your own self-esteem. Everyone is worthy of something. Your dick may be too small but you will be very useful in other ways.
So I reiterate my point that if the humiliation is compartmentalized and you use it to get off and you’re cool with yourself when it’s all over, GO FOR IT. But if you come out of a session honestly thinking you’re useless, STOP PLAYING!
Sometimes things that feel good are not good for us. The negative effects might not be felt immediately. Understand that I am not saying that humiliation is bad. I am saying that the reasoning used here (if you dont feel bad right after a session, then it is ok) is flawed.
Very insightful comment.
I watch these type of videos and after i had watched i feel bad.The problem is that i can’t stop watching because those type of humiliation porn is very addictive.
What should i do?
You can watch as much as you want Jimmy provided you don’t ‘buy in’ to the concept that you truly are garbage. If you think you can compartmentalize and realize that this is just part of your kink then go nuts. If you come away from it feeling like a piece of crap then you need to stop.
What if I can’t stop? At least I haven’t been able to so far. Nothing else turns me on as intensely, and loss of control is a part of the fantasies, which makes them very hard to resist. And at least for me they can be hard to avoid. Often just being attracted to a woman is enough to bring me into that psychological space. But I haven’t been able to compartmentalize them either. Every time I indulge these fantasies I’m left hating myself and feeling worthless and I don’t want it. I don’t want to hate myself anymore.
I don’t know if anyone will get to read to this comment, but I need help and I’m scouring the internet.
I don’t think you should feel bad about it at all life happens and certain life experiences may lead to certain outcomes that you have no control over so why hate yourself for it life is hard so get pleasure and enjoyment where ever that takes you and feel no shame about it
Ejaculating only when she allows and humiliation with the intention her pleasure is paramount does it for me. Ejaculating while masturbating is a big nono. Edging is encouraged. Cumming before she wants sucks, but at least that can be repaired after some scolding, mortification, and encouragement to do better in future. Tongue out the rest of the session.
What’s really weird is how I want my woman to make me give oral pleasure to another man. I have wanted this to happen since I was 6, when I was molested by one of my teenage neighbors. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t wanted this. I watch porn that makes you think you are being hypnotized to loving and worshiping “the cock” and also women making their man do the deed.
Hi William thank you for sharing. Molestation as a child can have these lasting sexual urges which can bring on a lot of shame but it sounds like you’re dealing with it just fine. You should read my article Does Sucking Cock Make Me Gay.