One of the many reasons why I don’t do a lot of Financial Domination anymore is the lack of commitment on the part of the money slave which is very insulting to a Financial Dominatrix and I KNOW I’m not the only one because these are extremely common Financial Domme complaints. I personally am sick and fucking tired of money pigs complaining about the amount they are told to give.
Gentlemen, and I use that term extremely loosely, you will never win what little respect you may get from a Financial Domme by starting off 
with NEGOTIATING. Understand something boyz, this is not a fucking board room and nothing is done ‘by the book’. Actually I’ll rephrase that, it is done by the book it’s just not the book you’re used to. It’s the Domme’s book and we reserve the right to change the rules of said rule book at any time without prior notice.
We don’t give a flying fuck about your less than glamorous financial situation, if you have these issues you shouldn’t be seeking out the services of the Financial Domme in the first place. And yet so many of you tools do just that, you say you want to be blackmailed for example and then you squawk at the terms of your contract if you’re lucky enough to even have one. That’s to say nothing of trying to negotiate a smaller payment after you’ve agreed to a particular amount.
I’m sure you’re noticing the tone in this post. There is nothing worse than sub that’s topping from the bottom. I will say this again, if you can’t afford to play the game don’t play it. If you don’t have the money but still want to feel a bit of the terror you’re seeking, get a phone Domme to do a blackmail role-play with you only. But make sure you tell her it’s only a role-play. And always remember, it’s a small community, your name WILL get around as being a cheap, loser, deadbeat and no Financial Domme with touch you.
So here are the top 5 ways to insult a Financial Domme (not in any order):
- Never negotiate (unless it’s at the start of the contract)
- Never ask for reduced rates on ANYTHING including per minute phone rates
- Never say you’ll send a payment and then not send it
- Never, ever WHINE
- Never request naked photos in return for money
Now edited to include: - Never ask for a refund (seriously? seriously?)
- Never try to get free IM chat (Princess Mindy said it best; ” just because you ride the short bus doesn’t mean we all do!” and if you don’t get that, there’s your sign)
Most of you fall in to the role-play category and need to learn not to waste a Financial Domme’s time. Financial Domination is only for those with the money and the balls. And the balls are always eventually castrated so proceed with extreme caution, cause you WILL get what paid for. And boys? Those teeth really hurt when then sink in.
Implying this isn’t just a trash fetish by women pretending not to be a prostitute, the fact that said women call themselves “alpha” is laughable as even the most skinnyfat neckbeard could probably beat the shit out of you guys in one on one combat.
I’m glad this fetish is diluted because the only thing women are entitled to are the rights we men give them
Where do I even start with this? Aside from the fact that you’re obviously a shithead who’s not worth Dr. Sue’s time, I mean. I have a sneaking suspicion that no woman worth her salt would go near you with a ten foot pole. Unless it was to stick it up your ass.
Let’s start with the fact that a woman gave you birth. She gave you existence. What on earth makes you think that she’s only entitled to the rights men give her? There are scads of matriarchal societies on this planet, in which women hold power, title, wealth, and family dominance. So clearly your belief isn’t based on some universal morality (not that there is such a thing).
A true domme knows not only how to take power, but how to wield it. And a true sub knows how to relinquish power after setting sane and consensual limits. This applies to financial domination as well as any other kind of domination. Most subs realize that giving up control is a kind of control in an of itself. We can choose to do it or not, just as dominants can choose their subs.
You negotiate a contract, you stick to the contract. That’s true of BOTH sides, or it’s a breach of contract. In play, there are safe words for when things come up unexpectedly. But people don’t use them unless absolutely necessary, in my experience. Ditto for financial contracts, I would imagine.
True findomme is me walking into a club getting free bottle service where everyone else is paying minimum 2k a night. These days “findommes” suck cock to get that bottle service. lol if that explains my theory. Any stories i’ve read about men who have gotten divorces, went broke, rinse thier accounts their spouses accounts etc have all been at least 5 years old. So i’m afraid the real world of findomme is dead; unless of course there’s a mutable friendship in which sapiosexuality is practiced.
Exactly which is why I wrote Financial Domination is DEAD!
Most findommes are fake and just looking to make a quick buck. I don’t trust any findomme.
financial domination is such a unique world among all other d/s fetishes, and it most cetainly is a viable fetish. Even though you had several valid points dude, saying its in no way a viable fetish but being into the feel of rubbing cash against oneself is, well, you nuked your own credibility on that one.
I have been into the fetish for decades. Before the fetish had a name, I was turning fiances into first Mistresses, and then my Money Mistress. When it actually got itself a tag, and then exploded on the internet, I got truly excited by my interest now being validated. In many ways it was the worst thing that could happen to it, but I still love it. It’s the most intense play that exists, because it is real. Anything else that occurs during the course of a session involving any other play, all repercussions from the activity exists in that little escapist time & place that the Dom & sub create for that period of time. There is nothing wrong with any of that, in fact it’s a beautiful thing. But for those of us who are extremists and are thrilled by riskier thing with more intensity that become all consuming, finanical domination is the one form of play that crosses over and becomes the real deal. A real situation where the gains of the Dom an the sacrifices of the sub dont cease to exist at the end of the hour session. No, a week later the Female is still flourishing from what Her status attained Her, whether it be the living large shopping trip, the nice things she spared no expense to do for family or friends, or maybe she paid some student loan bills, or maybe she WAS ABLE to pay some necessity bills and still have meals on the table. A wide range of people can do this for a wide range of benefits. But the point is, that session is lasting all day every day. Even moreso for the money slave, trying to budget until next payday, subsisting on one cup of noodles after another, those long walks after work instead of taking the bus sure do pile the hours on to already long workdays that She benefits from. Yet, the sub can still get high from an text or email or call hearing about Her having plenty of money, and happily doing this and that. For me, the best part comes when She wants to hear about all of my hardships, and She giggles and tee hees at me (with her friends on speaker, even better). This fetish is real, and clearly not for everybody. Addicts are drawn to it, and addicts are not responsible. It’s like gambling. Is gambling wrong because so many addicts cant do it responsibly? No, of course not.. But do we all respect the very real danger that someone with addiction problems that obliterate their ability to pace themselves are faced with if they are allowed to gamble with no checks? Of course. I think a lot of people dont believe much of that goes on in the Findom world. From my own experience, it does. The better the game is, we become very self destructive. This happens to subs in all aspects of d/s, but luckily most Mistresses are very professional and careful to save subs from themselves when it comes to physical abuse. They dont maim the slave beyond all rational sensibility, even tho he begs for it in the heat of the moment….things go south in the Findom world tho. Many of the Mistresses also lose the ability to police themselves and the situation to. And if She is getting euphoria, and also meeting needs in real life, from this arrangment, and he is long gone in addict lala land, and She is in absolute control….u can see where all this is going, and it’s often not pretty (for us, go Girls!).
That is just the respectable end of the fetish behaving irresponsibly. The shitty end of the fetish is the types of people on both ends it has drawn in droves. There are real money slaves out there, I am proof, and I know there are others. But there are also tons of guys turned on by the whole scenario, I’d imagine they would be money slaves except for the one drawback of you need to be able to earn enough money to begin with to dabble in this fetish. Many get so turned on by stories and videos, and there is so much of this Findom offered to them everywhere…and unlike say getting whipped or cbt, you can get part of a findom session for free, just by the intial conversation and projections etc. Some of these guys are snakes, but most I think actually feel bad about waht they are doing. They would rather really submit to these females and benefit them with tons of money….but they would rather play a little than not play at all, and due to their financial status in this tough world, they manage to play by having 2-3 day long relatinships with Money Mistresses they strike up contact with. That is the problem on that end.
The flipside also has a similar problem. Findom added to a relationship or arrangment ongoing that has other forms of play involved, the cash aspect makes it hotter. Puts it over the top. I got no problem with obsessive people who would only want to deal with cash in their d/s. To each their own, and some of the males are into that. But most of them want the findom relationship to overshadow the session submission or relationship submissive aspects that they also need. It doesnt seem too much to ask, right? Um, nowadays it’s quite a roll of the dice, even if you do a lot of research. Because many many females every day join this movement. They are already accomplished Findoms….they have no itnerest in it, or in d/s at all. Probably arent even kinky in their vanilla sex life, if they even like sex. They are out for the quickst largest golddigging scores they can make, with as little work put in as possible. And they will tell the sub from day one to the end that they will session with him, they will spend time doing this, sure this is possible, that is possible. Many of these guys, who are real moneyslaves but use bad judgement or get snowed by a Female they fall for, discover after a couple of years and tens of thousands of dollars of disappointment and frustration, they were never gonna get a session with this girl. some dont even get to MEET the girl. Again, if dark and edgy extreme play is your thing, and being conned and exploited by a girl who never intended to give you anything is the point, I see where that’s hot, and good for both sides. i’d say 98% of the guys that happens to do not want that at all, probably 90% of them make it clear from the onset and responsibly lay out where they hope things to go in exchange for all of their cash, and these faux findoms agree to every aspect every step of the way. They can spit out excuses and stories like no tomorrow. I find it to be more work than actually kicking the guys ass for a half hour once a month, ya know? the subs would be much less biter about it in the end. And when people wonder is there such a thing as a real moneyslave, why cant I find one, that is the problem right there. The fake findom found the real moneyslave. And those guys are damm sure never gonna put themselves in that position again. Very smart of them, wish I could say I had the same judgement to not step in the same pothole with a different face on it…..but when it’s good, it is GREAT!!
her_atm,
Thank you for writing this. You’ve made some sane and very valid points. You’ve also exposed the fetish for it’s bad points which I would agree with you 1000%. This kink has gone to the dogs. Both the male and female versions of dogs. It’s not respected any more and any woman with a camera who shoves her boobs and twat out there to make guys give them money are NOT Findoms!
There are many, many good Findoms out there but the ‘industry’ has been diluted by ‘street-walking’ rinsers who have turned it in to a begging/porn situation. Equally the men, as you say, who are dipping their toes in the water tend to be garbage when it comes to proper servitude. They aren’t real submissives, they are ‘faux subs’ just like the ‘faux Dommes’ and the whole kink is now a mess. There true money slaves are few and far between because of the dilution of the women involved. Add to that women who fight with each other publicly and act ridiculous it puts them immediately in the lesser role. Why should men step up their game when the women are all acting like they’re competing for the Bad Girls Club. True Domination = Class and that is almost gone.
I hope others read your views and understand that it was once a very viable and extremely erotic kink. Here’s hoping the economy improves and the dirt gets washed out of D/s.
It seems like the world of findomme these days is actually sub for sub to be perfectly honest. The “doms” are nothing but grown, previously neglected and abused turned slut little girls. The “subs” really have the power because their the ones with the cash and they enjoy the cat and mouse play. It’s really funny actually. People saying being a findomme is a science and some intricate game when really it’s not. A true dominant woman is the ultimate alpha female and has had these qualities since she was a little girl PERIOD. Findom isn’t the spoiled bratty little lazy self entitled bitch. True findomme have style, grace, elegance and they are oozing with intelligence. It’s not a gold digging game. Men are intimidated by a beautiful and extremely intelligent and independent woman and that’s truly when they become submissive. However the overflood of bratty girly girls has changed the game and now stupid wins all. I speak to guys and you can tell they are totally eating up every word i said damn near cumming in their pants, I can tell I’m literally fucking their minds up and I would actually make them go bank rupt or get a divorce so they opt for the stupid option where they pretty much end up trading money for soft porn.
I would consider myself a true alpha female and I had a guy straight up tell me “you’re too smart for this but yet there’s something so intriguing by you ” in this day he rather have paid a brainless whore over me but is completely and utterly memorized by me. So yeah being a findomme was probably acutally true domination 10 or 12 years ago now it’s truly sub for sub or dom/sub male for sub female to be honest.
Insanely well said!!
I really enjoyed this article. Well written and sexy even. Sorry you had to deal with the mad little boy who doesn’t understand the Financial Domination scene (or does and just can’t afford Me 🙂 If I’m going to keep a paypig moneyslave around for a bit … I will always work with his financial situation. I don’t want a successful career bytch living in a cardboard box or starving. However, My Lifestyle and My wants come first. So although I want him to “keep on making that cash” … I will take what I want, when I want it. I like the turmoil and suffering it causes him …. go figure!
Just a bunch of dumb slags who sadly think their looks are worth something and desperate men who are willing to pay. So glad I’m not part of this “community”, so glad I have respect for myself, so glad I’m not thought of as an object that’s paid for, and so glad I don’t have to rely on my finite (albiet fantastic) looks to get paid. Its gonna be a lonely life for some of these girls with no skills when their looks run out.
WONDERFUL article! Disregarding the first comment-er as someone who CLEARLY is seeking verbal debasement for free…
Another annoying trait of the roleplaying subs is talking about how much they are worth and what all they have done with other Mistresses. While, perhaps, an inexperienced Domina might find this thrilling and pander to them it makes me roll my eyes.
Or the ever so famous: I am willing to pay once I see that your REALLY into this wanna be fin sub. The one who wants to see your skill in drawing out the cash from them before they even tribute to show that they truly do value your time. They see you have tons of feedback, lots of blog posts and clearly a large following but still apprehensive that somehow your riding by not knowing what your doing as a financial Domme… I just can not wrap my head around this mentality!
Unfortunately, financial domination is not a viable fetish in any way shape or form. Most of these so-called “Dommes” are only in it to make money and do not get the slightest sexual stimulation from the act of the money transfer.
A person who has a REAL financial fetish can make themselves orgasm by rubbing physical money against their genitals. That’s what having a fetish is all about. Fetishes are inherently sexual in nature, and most of these so-called “Financial Dommes” view themselves as professional role-players. They basically get payed to act like spoiled, bratty bitches. They have nothing whatsoever to do with a REAL money fetish.
And don’t even get me started on all the scammers out there who use “financial” domination as a means to make a living so they don’t have to work at a real job.
i’m sorry, but i wouldn’t waste 2 minutes on a Domme who claimed to be a “Financial” Domme. Most of them care nothing about their subs and use them as a pyramid scheme. The more subs they have paying them, the more money they make, the higher their standard of living. They have no interest whatsoever in meeting their subs face-to-face, no interest whatsoever in developing meaningful relationships with them (because there are so many subs, their time is suddenly “too valuable”).
i truly am sorry, but this article accomplishes nothing and only makes the writer appear to be a lazy slob who is only interested in making money off subs and nothing else. Rant over.
James you are completely missing the point.
First of all many of the real Financial Dommes DO get turned on when they take or are given the money. They may not rub the money on themselves but that doesn’t make it any less of a turn on.
You say here:
“the more subs they have paying them, the more money they make, the higher their standard of living. They have no interest whatsoever in meeting their subs face-to-face, no interest whatsoever in developing meaningful relationships with them (because there are so many subs, their time is suddenly “too valuableâ€).”
All of those points are quite true but they don’t make any of that a secret. That’s the point of the fetish for the men who serve them. They aren’t there for ‘meaningful relationships’ and they are quite clear about that. Yes some of them are ‘bratty’, some of them are ‘mean’, some of them are downright ‘bitchy’, but that’s just the thing. It’s not like they’re pretending to be something they aren’t. If men want to throw money at them because it turns them on to do so doesn’t make it wrong. You have to understand that these men ‘give’ their money or gifts quite willingly.
What you’re looking for is a meaningful relationship with a real time Domme who you can serve and be very devoted to and who will in turn train you and nurture that submissive side. That’s fabulous!! But just because you don’t agree with or want to play with financial domination doesn’t make it wrong. You’re hostility is pointless.
Calling me a lazy slob is ridiculous. You don’t even know what I do. Which if you had taken 5 minutes to do a little research on the site you would see that I’m here not as a FINDOM but as a advocate for both Dommes and subs and an educator of the BDSM and fetish world. You need to learn to let others do their thing. Mind your business, if it has nothing to do with you as clearly financial domination does not.
Good observation James.
I would say about 99% of the time your observation is on target. However, I still think the 1% who are true FD’s are the ones you should consider. What you are writing about are the scams and fakes. Which unfortunately are the vast majority
I however, look for the 1% who are true financial dominants.
O M G someone asked for a refund? I’m sick of all the twitter time wasters so much that I have just started ignoring the ones who chat chat chat and never call or pay up. That are not worthy of any kind of a response and yet so many chat with them in hopes to get a response and instead these trolls are getting exactly what they want without doing anything.
As I said on Twitter- this article is absolutely brilliant.
You only forgot one thing, though:
6. Ask for refunds.
Oh yeah, I’ve had it happen… Hit that block button so fast My yahoo almost crashed LOL!
I’ll be referring My pets and potentials to this article for sure!
Thanks K! I’m adding your suggestion to the list. And to you losers who are reading this, and you know who you are, this isn’t necessarily a Domme issue. This is rude ass behavior no matter what the situation. It just happens more in the Financial Domination world because most men are not able to handle a real Financial Slave commitment but figure its okay to waste the girl’s time. Oh and I just thought of another one… (I’ll put it up on the list above)