Rick in the UK writes:
Dear Dr. Sue,
I came across a cuckold’s blog who was in awe of black men and their size, whilst talking on behalf of white men being totally inadequate with regard to all this, which gave me a thought; are most beta males potentially cuckolds who have been prevented by society from being their true selves?
I only ask because I consistently notice that white beta males, and particularly millennial men, don’t question multiculturalism, unlike Alpha males, who surely instinctively see other tribes as a threat to their own women and everything else. It has also been suggested that white single women favour multiculturalism because it is nothing more than a giant shit test for their own men and the patriarchy as a whole too.
Thanks,
First of all thank you Rick for writing in such an awesome question. Unfortunately it’s a question that has no real definitive answer. Only because when we start to talk sociology there are an infinite number of possible outcomes. I think the key to your questions lies in one word, ‘most.’
…are most beta males potentially cuckolds who have been prevented by society from being their true selves?
The answer to that is it’s possible. Where it unravels is in difference and choice. I think many beta males would love to be cuckolded but not all. I will say that I do believe that society prevents all beta males from being their true selves regardless of their individual kinks.
We raise all of our male children to be strapping, alpha men. We push them in to sports, we shove toy guns in their hands at a young age and in many cases we even teach them to stuff their feelings down. It’s sad and it’s wrong. It puts undue pressure on men to be something deep down inside they aren’t.
I can’t tell you the number of calls I get from men who are in complete inner turmoil about the fact that they shouldn’t be having submissive thoughts at all. That it means they’re weak. And THAT is sad and wrong. Submissive doesn’t equal weak. It never has but pop culture and the media would like you to believe that it does.
As for the multicultural aspects of cuckolding I can tell you that you’re right there are two schools of thought. There are many black men, regardless of their D&s position who feel that interracial breeding is actually ruining the black race. That by breeding with a white female you are essentially diluting the race. Which in biological terms it does.
But there is also the school of thought that by breeding with what society deems as the perfect female which unfortunately is a blonde haired, blue-eyed, white woman, that you are taking the best of both races and combining it to be a ‘perfect child.’ And when you think about it both theories are correct.
Now when it comes to women and multiculturalism you’ll have that same multi-layered effect. Are some women banging black men as a giant fuck you to white guys and possible men in general? I personally don’t know of anyone with that motive but I have no doubt that it’s out there. Just as much as the reparation thread runs between alpha black males and cuckolded white males. If you think that black men aren’t fucking white women in front of their husbands because it’s another giant FUCK YOU to the white man you’d be mistaken. They are and they are more than happy to tell you that.
From my own experience and those of other FLR wives who are in to interracial sex, remember not everyone is, we fuck black men because they fuck better than white men. It’s really that simple. I have found that even the most alpha of white men don’t hold a candle to black men. Sorry gentlemen but my beautiful boys of color are better at it than you. Don’t believe me? You can test it yourself simply by analyzing porn. There is an innate quality that black men have that isn’t in the white male; primal confidence. And it cannot be replicated.
White, alpha, males come from a place of desperation and fear. They try too hard. They are constantly trying to prove their alpha-ness. But black alpha males don’t need to; they just know they’re the best. That’s as simple as I can boil it down. And that confidence plays a huge roll in the bedroom.
Look at racist white males for example. Now there is an exaggerated form of what I’m talking about. They fear men of color. Why? Because they know that they suck and they know what they did and they fear it being done to them. Even if it’s not conscious, which it won’t be, that fear is being replicated generation after generation. Whereas alpha black males are more like the characters portrayed in Black Panther. There’s my pop culture reference for the day. But do you see the confidence that every person of color portrayed in that film? Wakanda Bitch!! That’s what white men fear. That’s why they teach their sons to shoot and protect their poor, frail, little white wives from the big, bad, black man. It’s why they sleep with guns under their pillows. They know if given a chance their frail, white wife would probably have a kick ass time with the scary, black man. And because of that fear now anyone of color has to sleep with a gun under their pillow because they fear getting their ass capped by a nervous white dude.
Okay that’s a bit over simplified but it illustrates my point. You see how the confidence is different? That plays out in the bedroom and women love it. And beta white males love it because they know they can’t compete. It’s part of the mind fuck. They know they’re looking at a more superior race and more superior cock than their own and they LOVE it.
So you see how there is no real answer because there are so many different motivations, opinions and feelings involved.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments below.
Hey Dr. Sue,
I am a beta white male and I loved reading what you wrote. It really rings true for me and my relationship. I love supporting my partner being with a bigger more dominant black male because she needs that extra stimulation that they can give her that she can’t get from me, but she loves that she wears the pants in the relationship as well and that I will always love serving her and she will always love being served. I am glad you are writing articles like this and please continue because many beta white males try to reject this innate quality because of societal norms and need to see things like this and know it is ok to be free. I am very happy and stable in my relationship. Thanks for what you do! I’d love to read more from you on this subject of bbc cuckolding and beta white males.
Bill
Amazing article. Many great points brought up.
Only one mistake in the article, black genes are dominant and white genes are recessive, so interracial breeding dilutes the whiteness but not really blackness.
BOOM!!
I read throug the article but had some questions,
If white guys are not able to compete then what are your recomendations for white guys? Peticulary the more submisive white guys? Do you think they should embrace interracial cuckolding?
Thanks you for the good read and and the food for thougd.
I do think that’s the best solution that works best for everyone.
Role playing when it comes to sex and relationships is something that is fun and great when it comes to adding some spice to your sex life. But it becomes silly and somewhat stupid when people start taking it too serious and don’t understand that there is no such thing as an Alpha male when we’re talking about humans.
It’s pretty stupid to think that some males are walking around being all alpha while the beta men are running around trying to please him or just getting out of his way. Humans and our culture and society are much more complex than that.
So don’t believe all the shit you read about the mythological alpha male. There is no such fucking thing.
Or you could put it like this: As neuroscientist Dean Burnett suggested: “Maybe the supposed human alpha male is a combination of disgruntled male wish fulfilment and borderline-pseudoscientific justification for resorting to bullying, intimidation and generally all-round unpleasant behaviour by men hoping to impose their will on a world they find too complex and unnerving so revert to their baser instincts to get what they want, despite knowing deep down they don’t deserve it and shouldn’t have it?”
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male-a7724971.html
Dr. Sue I am a white alpha male. As a white alpha I am well endowed I have had sex with over 100 women in my life (it could’ve been more) and I have cuckolded many many men of all races. As a white alpha male there is a part of me that wants to say that you are wrong but the truth is I would not be totally honest by saying that you are wrong. In reality I think that you are right about most of the things that you said in this article.
I think part of being an alpha is Is being mature and realistic and acknowledging your limitations. I may be alpha and well endowed but I readily admit there are other men who are more alpha and better endowed that I am. And yes many of those men are black.
The part of your article that strike me the most is your claim that all alpha black men
Are more alpha and fuck better than even the most alpha white males. That’s quite a bold claim, I’m not sure if you’re totally right, in part because I don’t know everything about all white alpha and all black alpha males. I’m not going to say for sure that you’re wrong either. There are many things that support your theory. Here are some.
1. For now at least there isn’t a way to objectively measure alpha-ness but you can objectively measure penis size. Every study I’ve ever seen on the topic does conclude that the average black man is better endowed than the average white man and the average white man is better endowed than the average Asian man. Penis size isn’t everything but it does play a big role in alpha ness with better endowed guys generally being more alpha.
2. It seems generally true the average black male is more alpha than the average white male. It’s also true that the average black alpha is more alpha than the average white alpha.
3. You’re right when you say the average black alpha male in porn more primal confidence than the average white alpha. SOME of this is because the are better endowed and better endowed men are usually more confident because they know they can please a woman. I’m not saying this is the only reason but it’s one of the reasons.
As a white alpha male it’s hard for me to acknowledge that most alpha black men are more aloha than most alpha white men and I have mixed emotions about posting this. But in the long term I think it’s better to acknowledge it than deny it.
You’re right when you say that some racist white man do you fear being cuckolded by black man and a lot of their racism comes from this fear. Of course if what you say is true about black man being more often then the most alpha of white man then their fear of being cuckolded is not irrational. Underneath this fear is a desire to be cuckolded by a superior alpha black male. For these guys being cuckolding would be good for them. They are suffering from deny and suppressing their desire to be cucked.
I’m curious, since you believe the most alpha black men are superior to the most alpha white men, do you believe that virtually all white men could potentially be cuckolded by alpha black men?
Hey Nick you made these points earlier but in answer to your final questions do I believe that virtually all white men could potentially be cuckolded by alpha black men the answer is yes. I’ve seen with my own two eyes on more than one occasion and many of these white males weere self-professed alpha males.
Dr. Sue I am a white alpha male. As a white alpha I am well endowed I have had sex with over 100 women in my life (it could’ve been more) and I have cuckolded many many men of all races. As a white alpha male there is a part of me that wants to say that you are wrong but the truth is I would not be totally honest by saying that you are wrong. In reality I think that you are right about most of the things that you said in this article.
I think part of being an alpha is Is being mature and realistic and acknowledging your limitations. I may be alpha and well endowed but I readily admit there are other men who are more alpha and better endowed that I am. And yes many of those men are black.
The part of your article that strike me the most is your claim that all alpha black men
Are more alpha and fuck better than even the most alpha white males. That’s quite a bold claim, I’m not sure if you’re totally right, in part because I don’t know everything about all white alpha and all black alpha males. I’m not going to say for sure that you’re wrong either. There are many things that support your theory. Here are some.
1. For now at least there isn’t a way to objectively measure alpha-ness but you can objectively measure penis size. Every study I’ve ever seen on the topic does conclude that the average black man is better endowed than the average white man and the average white man is better endowed than the average Asian man. Penis size isn’t everything but it does play a big role in alpha ness with better endowed guys generally being more alpha.
2. It seems generally true the average black male is more alpha than the average white male. It’s also true that the average black alpha is more alpha than the average white alpha.
3. You’re right when you say the average black alpha male in porn more primal confidence than the average white alpha. SOME of this is because the are better endowed and better endowed men are usually more confident because they know they can please a woman. I’m not saying this is the only reason but it’s one of the reasons.
As a white alpha male it’s hard for me to acknowledge that most alpha black men are more aloha than most alpha white men and I have mixed emotions about posting this. But in the long term I think it’s better to acknowledge it than deny it.
You’re right when you say that some racist white man do you fear being cuckolded by black man and a lot of their racism comes from this fear. Of course if what you say is true about black man being more often then the most alpha of white man then their fear of being cuckolded is not irrational. Underneath this fear is a desire to be cuckolded by a superior alpha black male. For these guys being cuckolding would be good for them. They are suffering from deny and suppressing their desire to be cucked.
Thank you for taking the time to reply Nick. I appreciate your viewpoint as an alpha male for one and as a white alpha male secondly. Thank you for being honest in your observations and corroborating what my observations have also been. It doesn’t mean that white alpha males don’t have a place, there’s plenty of couples who will only play white. More so I think the better way to describe it would be that the two have different styles. And as with everything it comes down to preference.
I have a different perspective. (More rooted in fact than anything.)
“BBC Cuckolding” is only interesting to people who feel as if Black men are inferior.
Most “good porn” needs shock value for people who watch it regurlarly. You’ll find that most people who are into the whole cuckold thing are heavy watchers of porn.
They started off with regular stuff and moved onto more extreme things the more they got used to the regular stuff.
The reason why a lot of interracial porn and even cuckolding has that shock value is because most of it portrays black men as superior. However, one only needs to look at how the average black man is doing in America. Their neighborhoods are crime ridden. Their income is way below average. They blame the world for all their problems. Their intelligence level is way below average.
This puts them as inferior in our society. Both white men and black men can exude the same level of confidence. ESPECIALLY in bed. In fact, that’s when men are their most confident. When the “pussy is their’s.” Most of my female friends who’ve dated a black guy in the past have told me that the bick dick thing is a myth and that they’ve had better sex from other races. So your version is coming more from a fantasy perspective. I’m guessing it’s to please your audience but I digress.
Anyhow, this inferiority complex black men carry with them and the rest of the world sees them as, is what drives the shock value in cuckold and BBC porn. It’s a “mindfuck” when they see an inferior black man able to get the beautiful white woman. This is pretty much the same reason why a lot of males are attracted to Hentai demon porn. “How can that beautiful girl love and be pleased by that ugly monster of low intelligence?”
This is wha turns them on. Not because it’s based on reality. But because it’s based on a falsehood. You’ll find these levels of falsehoods across most kink porn btw. What I’m saying isn’t an opinion or based on fantasy as you speak of it. What I’m saying is based on fact and there have been many studies on kink pork and what drives people to it.
In regards to your comment on why girls like black men, your statement would’ve held true if we seen that black men are getting all the beautiful women. But if you look at reality, the opposite is true. Most white women who date black men are often the “ugly” ones. Unless you deem Hollywood to be the arbiter of reality. (Which it’s not.)
Tinder has found that Black men get the least swipe backs from women outside of their race. (I believe it was less than 3%.) Most women outside of the black race don’t find black men to be their type due to their inferiority.
Have to agree with Pat. Too many people fall for the stereotypical and racist view that black men are so much better than White men. Despite your protestations, Dr. Sue, your thoughts are laden with these stereotypes such as black fuck better and this “primal confidence” you’ve coined. The truth is this: some black men fuck better than White men, some do not. Some black men project that “alpha male” mystique better than White men and some do not. Any other belief other than “some do and some don’t” is a racist stereotype.
You boys will never be able to see past your clouded lens of shame. You see what you want to see. What did I say prior to the stereotyping you focused on?
That makes it an opinion. Not fact. Am I generalizing? Yes. And I pointed that out. And yes it is stereotyping and it is racist, you’re absolutely right but that is my point. Racist themes run throughout many kink and kink related sexual encounters. Of course there are black men who are submissive and there are black men who have small penis’s.
As for you being upset about what I said, you need to look inside and ask yourself why that pisses you off? Just because you, Stan, and Pat are unhappy being submissive doesn’t mean all men should be unhappy about it. And if you’re pissed that women are saying they think most black men fuck better than white men, again, ask yourself why? You’re mad because of the shame in your submission.
If you don’t like who you are then change yourself. If you hate being submissive then work on some cognitive behavioral therapy and change it. It won’t be easy because it is, in my experience, part of who you are. But it doesn’t mean it can’t be done.
Dr Sue I can tell that you’re an amazing cuckoldress.
I’m as good as anyone else is.
I find in interesting that, according to you, our opinions are clouded by the lens of shame and thus of less value, while Your opinions, which are clouded by the lens of racism, generalizations, and stereotypes are viewed as more valid and more significant. I would also suggest that your opinions are also clouded by the lens of dominate arrogance., a common belief held by male and female dominants alike that by virtue of their dominance they are endowed with more intelligence and wisdom.
If my arrogance, racism, generalizations and stereotyping drives you nuts then why hang around here? You can just as easily move along and not have to worry about anything I’ve ever written. After all, who listens to me? I’m simply a mere spec on the face of this planet, why worry about what my opinions are? I hope you have a great life Stan I really do. I’d love to see you be happy to be you and be happy with your life and not waste your time on sites like this.
“I find more black males like that position as do most women BECAUSE they’re in these relationships with average to small men who can’t do those positions”
And all this contributes to the ‘mind fuck’ you mentioned previously. At least with the cuckolds, they are honest to admit defeat when compared to the others who cling on to their partner for dear life and the drama ensues when they cheat or go off with someone bigger and better!
EXACTLY! The whole point in cuckolding is not to ruin and destroy your relationship. It’s allowing your wife to enjoy bigger cock than your own and better sex than what you can give her. What’s wrong with that? I’d rather that than cheating.
Do you really believe that, Dr Sue? Do you honestly believe that it is such a casual thing? Oh she’s just getting a bigger cock and better sex than you can give her. No big deal. Seriously?
No, it’s kind of a big deal. You are expecting him to enter into a three way, bisexual, dominant/submissive relationship which makes him subordinate to another man! Not a trivial thing. He may not be wired for it. Does his sexuality not matter?
Oh, by the way, he can go out and find someone that fucks better than you too. I’m sure he can find a younger, tighter pussy out there.
Secondly, I find it disturbing that you see it as either this or cheating. Those are the only two options, right? That’s female entitlement for you. As someone that supposedly has psychological training, you actually think that’s a healthy approach to a relationship? How about leaving? How about being honest? If he’s not your cup of tea then go find someone else…but let him do the same.
I said several times that there are many possible outcomes did I not? You get so angry when I tell a submissive male that it’s okay to be submissive. What’s wrong with that? If she chooses to leave him, sobeit. It’s up to the couple. I never said anything about there only being two options. It’s a subjective question which is what I said. But I would much rather see a couple stay together if he’s okay being cuckolded than to toss it in the fire over a small dick.
No, I get angry when you tell him that he is a member of an inferior race. It wasn’t about your response in particular. I was already seeing red over the article itself. I didn’t publish my response to the article, which was the real issue, because it was Nasty.
And no, that’s not evidence of the angry white male you were referring to in the article. I was pissed off for a whole host of more complex and important reasons: psychological, political, sociological, ethical and biological. I won’t go into it all because it would be very long and I doubt your readers would be interested. Needless to say, I didn’t agree with your article and I’ll just leave it at that.
I’m sorry I didn’t express myself more constructively.
You are more than entitled to be pissed if you feel that way. Don’t apologize. I never said that white was an inferior race there actually is no inferior race because we are all one race, human. However we don’t live that way. We label and we point fingers. I’m simply saying what I have found to be true. Ask yourself first Pat, are you looking at this through a lens of submissive shame?
Exactly what is that you have found to be true, Dr. Sue? That all black men are sexually superior, that white women prefer black men, that women married to sexually inadequate men should be entitled to bigger cocks and better men, while white men married to women with saggy tits, worn out pussies and dried up hormones should just grin and bear it, that cuckolding is the only acceptable relationship. that a non-kink relationships are less intimate and less rewarding than ones that involves kink? Ask yourself first, Dr. Sue, are you looking at this through a lens of dominant arrogance?
Seriously Stan. Move along if you hate what I say so much. I am entitled to my opinion and you are entitled to yours. I’m not trying to change your mind, you can believe what you want as can I. All the things you accuse me of, I don’t have a problem with. You aren’t going to change my mind. So get as mad as you want Stan.
This is for you Stan,
“See this world as a free world, and see everyone in it as trying—through their individual experiences—to find their way back to that calling, back to that Source Energy. And even though there are billions of them going about it in a way that is different than you would choose, there’s no right or wrong way. In other words, bless them all, and get on with the only thing you have any power about, which is opening or closing your vortex to YOUR natural state of Well-Being.”
Maybe I am, Dr. Sue. Certainly, I have had that problem in the past, as you know.
However, I wasn’t really talking about the fetish. I was looking at it as an ideology. It appeared to me that you were saying, in response to Rick, that he had only two choices – be cheated on or willingly cuckolded.
And there are people in this fetish that really look at it like that. Rick’s question implied it as he talked about guys that “cling to their partner for dear life” as if expecting fidelity was an irrational or immature thing to do. I know many people into poly lifestyles espouse that view.
However, I think anything a couple does willingly and happily is up to them.
Absolutely not Pat! The questions was an observation, Rick wasn’t asking for himself. It was just something he was wondering. I want couples to STAY TOGETHER and make things work for them as a couple. If that includes cuckolding then have at ‘er and enjoy yourselves. See I’m not poly in anyway. Not even close. And fidelity to me is sacred and shouldn’t be fucked with at all if possible. But if both parties want to try cuckolding then go right ahead. Don’t forget there are a lot of women who like smaller penises too. And there are black men with small penis’s who are submissive. There is no one way for all. It’s whatever floats your boat. Anything I offer an opinion on is based on my observation of other men and couples and my own experiences. They are generalizations based on the fetish scene. Not based on your average vanilla couple. And believe me this fetish is going to hell in a handbasket in a lot of ways not just this.
Fair enough, Dr Sue.
It looks like we agree on the basics.
I’d be interested Pat.
Thank you for your very honest and insightful response; not living in the U.S., it does make sense what you say about guns now.
I do agree that it is wrong to press men into being things they are not, and indeed in today’s society, men seem to find interests, partners and employment that is compatible with their personalities now.
And you mention that black men are better in bed because of primal confidence than the most alpha of white men; specifically what are those things?(!) I’d prefer to try and improve, rather than surrender.
Also, I’ve noticed that the optimum sex position for hung black men and white women is usually always the missionary position only; is this mutual for both parties? What is your take on this, because so many ‘normal’ couples say the missionary position is boring, but to me they are possibly not understanding something, which is why they possibly like ‘variety’.
Thanks.
Sexual positions aren’t really that clandestine I’m afraid Rick. It has to do with a lot of factors that are individual and make it relative to whomever is speaking. You have things such as if the woman is big and the guy has a little dick well that lets out a lot of positions. Sometimes even if the woman isn’t big and the guy is small it makes certain positions more preferential.
Missionary is a very female submissive position and a lot of women like it for that reason. But if I were a betting bitch I’d put my money on doggy style over missionary. It’s again, a very female submissive position but I find more black males like that position as do most women BECAUSE they’re in these relationships with average to small men who can’t do those positions. That position with the right sized male hits a womans G-spot perfectly.
You could also be seeing women who can’t handle a big cock so they will also use missionary more because it doesn’t go in as deep as doggy style does. So that could be a factor in what you’re seeing but it’s been my observation and with personal experience it’s BBC doggy all the way. 😉