The Dr Sue Review — Page 41 — Straight Talk on Twisted Subjects

Financial Domination and Blackmail

Rich once again, has brought up a couple of good points for you newbies who are considering getting in to financial domination that should be mentioned.

Blackmail was and still occasionally is something I love doing. Unlike many of the girls I never had a slave or blackmail application. I think asking someone for all their info is quite honestly anticlimactic. You fill out the form with all your info and hell what’s there for the Domme to do It takes away a huge part of the thrill; knowing she’s found out info about you that you didn’t give her. Of course you will always let things slip in conversation with her which always helps and gives her a starting point. For me I love hunting for info on you guys, I enjoy it so it’s fun for me and that’s why I don’t go the easy route.

The point Rich brought up was blackmail contracts. Blackmail contracts are a crock. If you think they are legal and binding you are very sadly mistaken. If you think that just because you have an agreement with a Domina with a buy-out clause that you’re safe, again you are very wrong. Don’t get caught up in the false sense of security of a contract that has no value. Your Domme doesn’t have to abide by it nor do you for that matter so it’s all smoke and mirrors.

So you have a contract or an agreement of some kind with a Domme, you feel like ‘hey this is no problem I can always get out of it,’ WRONG!! When you enter in to any kind of arrangement with a financial Domme it is her way or the highway guys. As Rich pointed out, you’re there to make her life easier, pay her bills etc. Do you seriously think that turning off that tap is going to make her happy and she’s going to let it go? If you’ve been contributing to her mortgage or her utilities and you just say ‘I don’t wanna,’ she’s going to say ‘Oh okay, see ya!’ Not a chance Lance. Now not all girls are that ruthless but it’s best to err on the side of caution and assume that she is. Oh and by the way, crying, begging and pleading has no effect on a true financial Domme, it just makes us smile more because it shows we’re doing our job.

Advice to you newbies is to really think about it before you enter in to any agreement with a Domme. I make guys think at least 2 days before saying they want to jump in the deep end. Now I’m not as hardcore as a lot of the girls and usually, depending on the reason, I let you buy out but if the reason is lame or I’m in a bad mood, you’re not going anywhere and neither is your cash.

There’s lots of ways to play the financial domination game without long term commitment too. You can play in spurts of having her take a lot once in a while as opposed to promising to pay a set amount at a certain time all the time. You can simply mail her money or Visa cards or buy her gifts from her wishlist. It’s dancing on the edge without really getting sucked in but don’t think that she won’t try to sink her teeth in while you’re doing this. Financial domination is a dangerous but incredibly erotic and sexy game to play and as with anything just be careful who you’re playing with. Or don’t and really feel the thrill of the roller coaster ride from hell, but man it’s a hot way to go.

Feminization and Crossdressing is there a Difference?

Articles, Cross Dressing/Feminization/Transsexual

You better believe it! Most people, because they don’t understand the subtle differences, lump all of this in to one category when it fact they are distinctly different.

Men who Crossdress or CD as you’ll see it sometimes represented, enjoy the feel of being dressed in women’s clothes. In most cases these men are heterosexual and are usually in relationships. They may dress in their partner’s clothing or go and buy their own. They may keep their desires hidden or they may be in a relationship where their partner allows them to be who they want to be with no consequences. Some go as far as wearing make-up and wigs etc but honestly for the most part they don’t, it’s just the clothing they enjoy. They usually have no desire to have any surgery such as breast augmentation or sexual re-assignment done. They’re perfectly happy keeping what’s between their legs.

To be Feminized is completely different. A man who enjoys being feminized likes the idea of being transformed in a woman usually by another more dominant woman. They look at it as almost being a caterpillar in a cocoon just waiting to be the beautiful butterfly. The idea of a dominant woman turning them in to a creation is the turn-on. They sometimes fantasize about being taken under a woman’s control and completely waxed head-to-toe, dressed in beautiful pieces of lingerie, having the woman do their make-up, hair and nails, even down to the jewelry and then unveiling them in the end. It’s a literal transformation which is why you’ll see it referred to as ‘being feminized’ as opposed to being feminine. There are subtle psychological differences between a man wanting to be feminized and a man who cross dresses. And again these gentlemen rarely want to have any surgery to look more female.

Now if I take it a step further and bring Trannies in to the mix we get in to even more psychological differences. A male who is Transsexual (and women too but we primarily discuss the boys on this site) feels that they are female. That they are the opposite of what their physiological or biological gender is dictating. It could be likened to being trapped in a body that isn’t their own or just doesn’t feel right. When they transform themselves they feel right or ‘normal.’ One could argue that somewhere in the genetic stew things got scrambled. They have a female brain and a male body. Are they gay? Well that is a chicken and the egg argument. Some would say yes that because they are biologically male and may be sexually attracted to men that it would make them gay but really again I say, let’s stop putting everyone in to neat little boxes. Nothing in sexuality is that black and white.

Most transsexuals keep their genitalia as is. Many transsexuals get breast augmentation, voice box shaving, hair removal and hormone treatments but again not all. I always say you get the best of both worlds in many trannies because they’re usually stunningly beautiful and have the added bonus of a dick.

Transgendered individuals are those who go for sexual re-assignment and become the new gender of their choice, men in to women, women in to men but usually go through a long psychological battle through most of the above areas before reaching this decision. This is not some fetish or hobby as could be argued about feminization and cross dressing. It is a very long process that involves a lot of thought processing, therapy and hormone treatments. It should never be entered in to lightly or as a joke as I see many Dommes do, fooling around with hormones and such with their submissives. And the journey is not fun, it’s difficult and arduous.

As you probably noticed I say ‘may or may not’ a lot in all my articles. That’s because as I stated earlier sexuality is not black and white there is an enormous gray area that has to be considered. Some of those I tried to categorize will blend and cross over in to other areas. That’s why I always remind everyone that we MUST as a society stop labeling everything. Will it happen in our lifetime, probably not but instead of trying to categorize everything let’s try, every once in a while, to let everyone be who they want to be on their own terms instead of ours. We’re all here to experience joy, whatever your personal joy may be has nothing to do with anyone else. Ah in a perfect world!

Why Do I Like to be Humiliated?

Articles, Humilation

I get a lot of questions regarding humiliation and fetish. Some guys don’t think it’s good for them even though they enjoy it. Some guys think they’re going nuts because they shouldn’t enjoy it. It can be a confusing subject that needn’t be confusing.

Humiliation usually runs alongside another fetish such as Financial Domination or Feminization for example and is very common. In the case of Financial Domination some men enjoy the humiliation of having had their wallets raped. But there are submissives who just love being humiliated, period. That usually runs side-by-side with small penises. They love being told that their penises aren’t worth fucking, that they aren’t alpha males and never will be or that they just don’t deserve to be having sex in the first place. Whatever the enjoyment the key that you need to remember is ENJOYMENT!

Is humiliation bad for you? That’s a fine line that you need to monitor yourself. Here’s a rule of thumb that I teach; if when you’re humiliated you feel really bad either while it’s being done or afterward then yes this will have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem. However if you find it erotic and a turn-on and you don’t come out of a session feeling like a sack of shit then it’s fine to play.

And yes I realize that feeling like a sack of shit is part of the turn-on, hence the word humiliation but that’s why I say it’s a very fine line. If it’s just a straight turn on and when it’s all over you can compartmentalize that it’s all in name of a good time you’re doing great and go ahead and indulge. However if you start to feel like you aren’t worth anything, that you really do suck as a human being then we have a problem.

Just because you’re submissive and a Domme is telling you you’re worthless doesn’t mean you’re worthless as a human being. (Sorry ladies but submissives have a place in this world too and a valuable one at that.) Everyone has a place in this world, a reason to be here and joy to bring to themselves. How you get your joy is your own business but it should never, ever be at the expense of your own self-esteem. Everyone is worthy of something. Your dick may be too small but you will be very useful in other ways.

So I reiterate my point that if the humiliation is compartmentalized and you use it to get off and you’re cool with yourself when it’s all over, GO FOR IT. But if you come out of a session honestly thinking you’re useless, STOP PLAYING!

Can You Actually Make a Living as a Financial Dominatrix?

Articles, Financial Domination, For Ladies Only

Rich emailed and asked if it’s actually possible for someone to make a living at financial domination and blackmail. And the answer would be, yes of course!

He found it strange that at the end of the week a woman wouldn’t be getting a steady pay check. Let’s look at this realistically. Is it easy to make money as a Financial Domme? Absolutely not. There are many women who get in to the game thinking it’s a way to make fast money. ‘I’ll throw up a website and then men will come flocking to me and give me all their money.’ They soon realize that’s not the way it goes.

As a Financial Dominatrix you are self-employed. Now according to Rich it’s safer to get a pay check at the end of the week but let’s face it millions of people are self-employed and don’t get a steady pay check. That’s capitalism baby. If you’re self-employed you know you don’t get a check at the end of the week. You hustle your ass to make sales or do whatever it is you do. Self-employment is very rewarding no boss, you set your own hours, and your salary isn’t capped. It’s up to you by however much effort you put in to your work how much you make. On the downside your income fluctuates and if you’re not a disciplined person and make yourself get out there every day you’re probably better working at Walmart.

Many girls make a very good living at being a Financial Domme. Very few make a fantastical living.Â The ones who think it would be a breeze and they can just watch soap operas all day while their bank accounts fill up are gone pretty quick looking for greener pastures somewhere else usually the local 7-11 when it dawns on them that this is work!!

For those of you who doubt that you can make a sustainable living at Financial Domination you need to take a look at one of the oldest (not by age) and most successful Financial Dommes that I know of. I think it’s safe to say that if she wasn’t the one who pioneered the fetish she was one of the ones who did, and that would be Princess Sierra. Princess Sierra is one of the most ruthless, cruel, heartless women in the business, qualities that are essential in this line of work. Now if you guys are going to run over to Sierra’s site thinking you’ve found the Domina of your dreams, my advice to you is WATCH IT! You are playing with the ultimate fire. If you succumb to her, you don’t get free. She’s not one who plays at this like most of the other so-called Financial Dominatrix’s out there. This has been her life for many years and she makes more than a comfortable living at it BUT she is the ultimate Mafia Princess, once you’re in you can’t get out. She doesn’t fuck around.

Girls you can learn by watching her but it wouldn’t be wise to think you can outsmart her or steal her subs or any other juvenile behavior that is floating through your mind right now. She doesn’t take prisoners whether its men or baby dommes who try to screw her over. Whatever you do, don’t just look at someone like Princess Sierra and think you can just copy and duplicate her. She is successful because what she does isn’t an act., it’s who she really is and THAT makes the difference right there.

That said you have to remember that a lot of what real Financial Dominatrix’s get is not necessarily a lot of cash per se but gifts. If you have enough cash to cover your bills and then your entire house and life are paid for by others it’s a good deal. But again, it’s rare.

So can you make a real living being a Financial Dominatrix? Yes. Is it easy? No.

Is it Wise to Have Sex with Your Submissive?

Articles, Cuckolding, Financial Domination, For Ladies Only, The Submissive Mind

Camilla asked this question in an email to me and I think it bears discussing. There is a lot of contradictory information out there regarding the subject of sex with submissives, and in this case I’m talking submissive males of course.

The first thing I want to point out is that there are no hard and fast rules that have to be followed when it comes to D & s with the exception of sanity and safety. In order to clarify the subject lets break it down in to a few areas; Pro Dommes, Lifestyle Dommes and Cuckolding.

My view and the way I was trained is that if you are a Pro Domme and you have sex with your submissive that’s a big NO NO. Why? Because when you have sex with the submissive you’re leveling the playing field. You’re no longer dominating him, it’s now even. So in the case of Pro Dommes it’s not recommended because in the long run the submissive is paying for a service and it’s mainly a feeling they’re paying for. Sex with a sub in this format ruins it for the sub. Now I’m not talking oral or strap-on play obviously. I’m talking intercourse with the submissive. It doesn’t work because when you have full intercourse there is no longer any D & s. Now I know there are Domina’s out there who will disagree with me and that’s cool, again no hard and fast rules.

Now in the case of a Lifestyle Domme where the submissives are living with her and are being cared for by her it takes on another meaning. Can it be done? Yes and it is done but it’s considered a huge reward and privilege. It is usually reserved only for the top submissive in the house. It is an honor and the submissives know that. Does it level the playing field? Not usually because they will either be removed from the Domina’s sleeping quarters and returned to their cell when they are finished or chained to the foot of the bed. So you can see the difference between a Lifestyle Domme situation and a Pro Domme situation. As a Pro Domme you don’t have the ability when it’s over to put them back in their place.

Cuckolding takes on a whole gray area that is really very much up to the Superior Female. As the Superior Female in the relationship it is strictly up to you whether you have sex with your cuckold. Lots of women eventually deny completely, tapering off as they go along. Some women will let the cuckold only have sex after the alpha is finished. This solidifies the cuckold’s place because he then feels how stretched his female is by the alpha male and he can see for himself that she cannot feel his usually tiny dick because he can’t feel anything either. Sex can also be used as a reward system or even as a game. It’s all up to both of you how you decide to play it out.

Can you have a full relationship with a submissive male and still have it work out? Yes but it usually takes on a cuckolding atmosphere eventually.

In Camilla’s case she was wondering if it would work having a D & s relationship AND financially dominate him. This rarely works. The reason why is because a spouse or partner doesn’t usually have the leverage that’s required with Financial Domination. There’s a ruthlessness that is needed to properly financially dominate, a fear level that usually isn’t reached in a partnership. Not to say that it can’t be done it just doesn’t work well. That’s why most married men who want to be financially dominated do so with someone outside their relationship. It may be possible if the D & s portion of the relationship is established before it turns sexual. But again it usually ends up turning in to a cuckold relationship anyway.

As with everything I tell you guys, YOU make the rules. Whatever works for you and your partner is perfect.

Alpha Male – Beta Male

Articles, Cuckolding, The Submissive Mind

I get asked a lot about the difference between an alpha male (also known as a master, bull, dominant male, daddy, or real man among many other terms), and a beta male (also referred to as the sub male, slave, bitch, or loser). There are a million terms to describe either one and yet there’s still some confusion about their place in BDSM or cuckolding, why I don’t know, it seems very clear to me.

Alpha males are the seed spreaders, their primary reason for living is to spread as much of their dominant seed as possible. This goes back to evolution when it really was survival of the fittest just like in the animal kingdom. Alpha males are usually built as such; tall, broad shouldered, large penises, and usually very handsome with defined bone structure. They are cocky and confident. They know when they enter the room they can do or have anyone there. The downside to alpha males is that they’re too cocky, arrogant, and tend to clash with dominant females. This is precisely the reason why dominant women only fuck alpha males and then kick them to the curb. A dominant woman living with an alpha male can get very ugly and rarely works. That’s why dominant women would rather be with the submissive male except for sex.

Most real alpha males suck at making money because they’re too distracted by their penises and their own sense of importance to bother. Besides, why should they when the beta’s are there to do the work for them? Alpha’s are con-artists and usually have a flock of beta’s in some way doing all the grunt work while they take the glory.

Beta males are the worker bees of the world. I liken it to bees because it’s very similar in structure as a hive. Beta or submissive males are the ones working the hive, gathering the pollen, keeping the hive tidy for the Queen, kicking out intruders. They tend to look submissive, wimpy and usually have small penises although there are exceptions to every rule. Whereas the drones’ only purpose is to fertilize the eggs laid by the Queen to ensure the hives colony is always strong. Granted this is a very glossed over version of bee colonies but you get the idea.

Now understand this has nothing to do with the work world. I’m talking relationships here. There are a lot of who I like to call ‘soldier bees’ out there who disguise themselves as alphas throughout the day because they need to be alpha to succeed in business. These are your corporate heads, your CEO’s and CFO’s who spend the day making huge, very important decisions and then when they get home at night fall to their knees and are more than happy to let their Mistress take over the controls. These boys are also the ones who usually fall in to the abyss of financial domination because they have the money to burn and are usually married to submissive women for some sad reason.

As I’ve said before, the absolute worst is the beta male who thinks he’s alpha. My clients will remember this as I’ve said many times, no matter how alpha or GTL or Guido or Clooney you ‘think’ you are, at some point you’re going to have to drop your drawers and then it’s GAME OVER. (Sideline: for those of you like me, who got sucked in to the train wreck TV program Jersey Shore, I’d liken this type of beta male to ‘The Situation’ I swear he’s the only one who doesn’t realize he’s a bitch).

An extreme example of problems that can occur with these imposter alpha’s, are these guys who end up beating on their submissive women. They’re so busy trying to be something they’re not, trying to prove themselves to no one because most people could care less, that they get so frustrated and freaked out about their submissive, insecure thoughts that they subsequently take it out on their submissive women. For these idiots I have 2 things to say; there’s a dungeon with your name on it and a whole heap of dominant women who’d love to have you for dinner (literally), and grow up and quit trying to control something you can’t control. No matter how often you look in the mirror as a dog and say, ‘I’m a cat, I’m a cat, I’m a cat’ it’s never going to make you a cat. So on behalf of women everywhere, for the love of god please stop trying to be something you can never be. Just accept who you are, there’s way more beta males than there are alpha males and real women want you more anyway.

Be proud, be BETA!