I spoke with Matt last week who is presently trying to find the right Dominant woman to serve in real time, not on the phone or in a Pro Domme capacity. His quest brings up a very important point that I want to get across to you submissive guys out there.
First of all I know it’s hard to find a Dominant woman to serve in a relationship capacity. It’s not like you can walk in to a bar and say, hey what’s your sign, mine’s use me, and dropping to your knees, throwing your arms around her legs and not letting go can get you arrested, which is why I tell you guys to go where the Dominant women are.
In Matt’s case he’s had some luck finding the right woman but not being able to connect properly. Like many men out there Matt has to be Dominant throughout the day at work etc. What he wants is a woman he can lavish not only his money and attention but to serve domestically as well. Now you’d think that any woman out there would be jumping at the chance to grab him, but that’s not the case. Too many women get in to the roll of bitch with a whip. They don’t understand that it’s perfectly fine to love and care for your submissive male, which is why I suggested a more cuckold relationship for Matt to look for.
The trick is to find a balance between the relationship part and the D & s part. As a Dominant woman you don’t have to respect your sub as a man, as a matter of fact you probably won’t. But you DO have to respect him as a HUMAN BEING! Submissive males are not robots without feelings, they’re human, and their needs have to be met as well as yours.
Unless a submissive male enjoys being treated like nothing with no conversation or relationship connection you HAVE to take his needs in to consideration. As a couple you have to make rules that each of you will abide by that work for both of you not just one of you. What Matt wants is someone who will basically be in a loving relationship with him but behind closed doors he serves and is very domestic. Unfortunately he keeps finding women who just want him to pick up their dry cleaning and that’s about it. When he would go out for dinner with them they wouldn’t even talk. That’s ridiculous and falls more in to the realm of Pro Domme.
So guys remember, it’s okay to submit but you DO have rights and you DO deserve to have all your needs met just as much as she does. Never short change yourself or serve just because you’re submissive if it’s not something you’re enjoying. If it’s no fun, there’s no point in doing it.