You probably don’t. LOL. Ruined orgasms are used in cuckolding and male control. It’s a way of draining the submissive without the pleasure of the orgasm.
We’ve all had one at some time or other usually unintentionally. You build up and pull back to that orgasm tip over point so many times that if you’re not careful your orgasm will actually fizzle and die. In the case of cuckolding or just male control you do it to drain the balls and that’s it. The ejaculate will actually just pour out and there will be no muscle spasms or fun stuff to go with it.
Most men don’t want a ruined orgasm but their Mistress doesn’t want them experiencing pleasure for a variety of reasons. One reason is it keeps the focus off their cocks and on the Mistress where it should be.
Is it bad for you, no. It won’t do anything harmful it just doesn’t feel good because you don’t experience a full pleasurable orgasm.
There is no perfect way to perform a ruined orgasm either. You need to know your submissive well enough to be able to feel with your hand when he’s getting to that edge obviously. Never go by his expressions or what he might be saying cause let’s face it he’ll try to get that one slip over the edge. Like everything else it just takes practice. You can also use prostate massage the same way.
Full orgasm is not good for him, especially after a long denial. Ruined orgasm is much better. After RO he was very fast on the line again.
I really hated losing that feeling of submissiveness that You are discussing, Dr. Sue. Partly why I binge orgasm denial.
I’ve only had ruined orgasms for the past number of months, and have felt much more submissive after cumming . I will stroke close to climax, put my hands behind my back, and thrust one pleasurable spurt of cum out.
After this, I’m still submissive enough to do something like cum eating. Within 10-15, horny as hell (versus the 45min or so wait when a normal orgasm occurrs). And have also noticed that after a sleep, the submissiveness is restored (ie. I will go 14 days not cumming, have a hands free ruined orgasm, and then the next day I’m as horny/submissive/aching as I was before.
Hello Dr. Sue,
Reading this article, I’m wondering if it’s possible to give oneself a ruined orgasm accidentally. For reference, I am a 27-year-old man. Due to certain medical conditions which I am still uncovering, the very few occasions on which I have vaginal intercourse have been painful and mostly devoid of pleasurable sensation. I also was unable to reach orgasm during penetration.
As a result, my sex life has largely consisted of masturbation for some years. I have made progress with the medical side of things: I have been treated for May-Thurner syndrome (obstruction of blood flow to and from the pelvic region) and am in physical therapy for chronic pelvic pain.
While I have seen progress, my orgasms still lack that lovely muscle contraction. Since I want to pursue all possible avenues, do you have any thoughts about technique? Have you encountered similar issues?
Look forward to hearing from you. Your time is very much appreciated.
Dr. Sue,
Thanks for the info. For years now, I was unable to explain the sudden “switch” that occurred immediately after (actually during) my orgasms where I lost all interest in the fantasy or act I was performing. It gives me an area to read up on to better understand my sexuality. I’ve been beating myself up because of the roller coaster of sexual interests I have before and after orgasm. I just may find out who I am?.
You’re welcome Aaron. The issue of losing your submissiveness after orgasm is one every man deals with. It’s the reason why it’s so hard to get you guys to eat your own cum after you’ve ejaculated etc. Once you have that flood of hormones your submissiveness is GONE, well at least for about 45 mins or so then it’s back as per usual.
That’s interesting. Another issue I battle with is my sexual preference. Ive been with lots of men. I prefer the “bottom” role. But, once I achieve orgasm, I’m immediately flooded with feelings of regret and shame. I’ve got a therapist and we are talking about it. My issue with that, is , am I gay and just in denial? Am I bi? Or just really confused and traumatized from my childhood and “escaping” to a world where I can’t hurt a woman. Thanks for your input.
My ex-girlfriend used to ruin my orgasms regularly, and I have o admity, it became addictive. She even convinced me to ruin my orgasms myself. It was frustrating at times, but also somehow drew me closer ti her, I guess I wanted her more, and wanted to plrase her. She wound up getting plrasure from other guys too, but that’s another subject.
This can actually be harmful to do if done too many times in a row or too often. If you get close to orgasm but dont, the semen stays in your epididymus. This can be said the same for ruined orgasms, given the nerves on the penis are not all getting excited, the contraction is weaker. That can also leave seamen in the epididymus, but not as much. The pain you experience is also due to the pressure of the body trying to get the seamen out, but you are not letting your muscles do what they are supposed to do.
Sperm in the epididymus is meant to be ejaculated. Allowing it to be left there means it is not in a natural protective space (eg. in the testicles). This means you run the risk on getting an infection or possibly damaging a part of your testes overtime. Given your seamen is a hotbed of unprotected carbs and protein, and since it is hard for white blood cells to get to the epidiymus.
Everyone has their bedroom kinks sure, but always be careful when playing around with something like this. Too much of anything is a bad thing.
Thanks for the great info!
Shared with my beautiful, cruel girlfriend.
I recall Mistress Taylor’s ruined orgasms (she was so skilled at these).. she did the abandoned orgasms (talked about here) where the stimulation would end and the penis would frustratingly try and ejaculate. One of the other techniques was where she would press down her thumb over the guys hole and stop any cum getting out (which always looked hot and also painful) and then after about a minute she would unblock the hole and some cum would just ooze out, whilst she just laughed.
Ive also seen subs locked in chastity given ruined orgasms with the Domme using a vibrator on his caged penis, which looks super uncomfortable as the guy is straining in his cage, and if he does cum he has to cum without even being able to get hard.
I can vouch for the fact that with a ruined orgasm, even if you cum, you dont get that orgasm, and instead its just frustrating and can hurt too, and yes you do remain submissive still after creating your sad puddle. Its such a weird feeling to explain.
this is a stupid idea
Hi Dr. Sue,
Interesting article.
Because of my cum fetish, and because I am still, to this day, unable to eat my cum immediately after orgasm (something just switches off, and I lose all interest), I’ve actually developed a variation on a ruined orgasm that I call a “partial” orgasm. I get to the edge, apply just the right amount of stimulation, and some cum oozes out – about 1/3 of what a full orgasm would yield. Because I don’t go over the edge, I’m able to consume the cum immediately (usually after whipping it, per my particular fetish).
I can repeat these partial orgasms up to about three times with a little break in between, and I end up producing more cum that if I’d had a full orgasm.
I don’t know if anyone else has achieved similar results, but it’s amazing what practice and perseverance can yield.
Cumwhipper
Thank you for sharing that Cumwhipper! The reason why you have issues when you have a full orgasm is because testosterone floods your system immediately during and following an orgasm. You lose your submissiveness in the process. Hence the reason why orgasm is controlled in a D & s relationship. What you’ve done is control the testosterone by just have mini-orgasms. BRILLIANT!!
Yes, the hormonal switch is practically instantaneous, as soon as the orgasmic contractions begin. I see your point about a mistress wanting to control a slave’s orgasms in order to maintain his submissiveness.
I’ve sometimes wondered whether, if I found the right mistress, my own version of “chastity” might involve draining myself with regular partial orgasms under her supervision, immediately consuming any cum I produce, and staying in a more or less constant state of submission to her.
That’s actually precisely the point of the ruined orgasm in the first place. You’re draining the balls without the orgasm and it’s usually done by the Mistress through prostate massage and then you’re put back in chastity. You’ll find that chastity is almost a necessity because of the male reaction to play with his penis. It started in utero so it’s a hard thing to stop. It’s too risky to allow a male access to his penis in the off hours so to speak. I think your idea deserves a chance to be tested though.
Over many years, I’ve reached a pretty advanced level of control over my orgasms. I actually almost prefer edging to porn for very long periods of time (I collect my pre-cum whenever I edge – it has other uses during phone play). Often I will forgo orgasm, just letting the sexual energy continue to simmer.
Thanks for your feedback. I think we could have a great exchange regarding the possibilities of my alternative version of chastity.
Very interesting what you are saying Dr Sue about testosterone. Let’s say someone use this technique everyday by himself, will he be more submissive than someone that have a complete orgasm everyday?
Yes Eric you will. However I’ve found that putting yourself in to chastity to be a much better way to increase your submissiveness.