Yeah I said it! Now go in your corners and come out fighting.
Financial domination has died a horrible death my friends and there’s no one standing by with paddles to shock the life back in to it.
Oh sure some of you ladies will probably say I’m just a bitter old woman and you’re entitled to your opinion just as much as I’m entitled to mine. But let’s look at the facts. First of all I haven’t done financial domination as a part of my online domination for years with the exception of a Findom hypnosis audio. So my opinion is based on observation and male complaints not bitterness. I don’t do financial domination work because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. [insert dick joke here]
When we were all thrown in to the mess that was the recession in 2008 a whole whack of women seeped on to the internet and found what they thought was the pot of gold at the end of their rainbow; financial domination. “Oh my god, you mean men will just throw money at me for no reason? SWEET!”
So instead of actually learning the craft of domination you had and still have, women who think flashing their twat for $20 on Skype is financial domination. WRONG!
Yes I can hear you ladies now, “it doesn’t matter how you get the money out of them, it’s still financial domination.” Or, and I love this one, “who are you to judge how I make my money.” Now sweet thing, I don’t give a rats ass how you get your money. If you want to spread your legs or flash your titties you are absolutely right, I won’t stand in judgement of how you get your money. Just don’t call yourself a Financial Domanatrix because that is not now, nor has it ever been what a true FinDom does. So you cash-for-flash rinsing bitches go right ahead and carry on doing what you’re doing but what you’re doing is NOT financial domination.
Mainstream media hasn’t helped the situation either with all the ridiculous ‘documentaries’ purporting to show what financial domination is and isn’t. When I see these articles and docu-series my eyes roll so far up I look like something from the Walking Dead.
Domination is an art. Financial domination is a niche within that art. It has nothing to do with twat watching or jiggling your ass. It has to do with seduction. Men want to be seduced out of their money. You babes who are out there on Twitter and Instagram saying PAY ME! This is what you look like:
And at least this chick is being honest. You ladies look like you are panhandling and it’s not attractive nor is it seductive.
Case in point…Playboy. Why do you think after running this mag since 1953 would the executive suite decide to remove nudity from the magazine? A magazine that’s entire existence was based on a nude female? Because nudity is over done now. You can go anywhere online and see vag, tits and ass. But truly seductive and sexy photos are now rare. As a matter of fact, from a psychological standpoint, most men are desensitized to nudity because of over exposure.
The same holds true for financial domination now. It has been so diluted it looks like clear piss in the toilet. No substance and absolutely not what it was supposed to be.
I get many women who email me for advice. Usually I never hear back from them because they don’t like what I have to say. Truth hurts. But if you want to make a living at being a Domme DON’T GO IN TO FINANCIAL DOMINATION. The reality is, if you niche yourself in some way the money will follow anyway. Most good financial domination relationships don’t start out that way. They start out as just D & s and the financial aspects naturally follow. Logic dictates if you’re playing online the only way to serve IS financially.
It’s like tattoos. Personally I hate them. I think they make women especially look like longshoremen. And now almost every person on the planet has a tattoo. Therefore if you want to truly be different and stand out from the crowd DON’T GET A TATTOO. If you want to truly be a Domme with a lasting business DON’T BE A FINDOM. It’s overdone and you become a small fish in a now very big, very diluted ocean, not pond.
So I’m not saying that if you make your living flashing your bits that you’re wrong. You’re not, go right ahead and do that but calling yourself a financial dominatrix is a lie because you aren’t dominating anyone. You’re giving away the goods and as soon as you give those goods away you’ve leveled the playing field and you are no longer in a dominant position. The same holds true for Dommes who have sex with their subs. You’ve just destroyed the Dominant/submissive aspect of the relationship.
So my advice to newbies just coming in to the world of online domination is LEARN YOUR CRAFT FIRST. Niche yourself with the myriad of fetishes out there and never, ever call yourself a FinDom. Cause if you do, you just made yourself…BASIC.
Caveat: This article has caused some ladies heads to explode. I’ve been told I’m “Kink Shaming.” (Sorry but I find that term hilarious) If you choose to read this and only see negativity that is your choice. No where in this article do I say that doing porn is wrong or bad. I have many friends who do porn, strip and escort and I would never, ever say what they do is wrong. If you enjoy what you do, have at ‘er I’ll support you 100%.
Nor do I say that there are no good Findoms. There are! Both OG and new. They are good because they took the time to learn how to do it correctly. If you actually took the time to really listen to what I had to say you would see I’m simply pointing out that the real aspects of Financial Domination have been lost and watered down due to desperate times. Therefore a smart person getting in to the game now wouldn’t throw themselves in to a business model that is saturated, tainted and dying. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do FinDom but you need to make yourself unique.
This article IS brutally honest but that’s how I roll I have never sugar coated anything because we all have smoke being blown up our asses on a daily basis and I don’t plan to add to that. You can choose to hate me and call me names, that’s cool I can take it. You can shut down my site, that’s cool I’ll just put it back up again. I’m not going to be silenced and I’m not going anywhere. I don’t have a problem with you disagreeing with me CONSTRUCTIVELY that’s what the comment section is for but if you’re just going to spew hate I’m not listening.
I’m not bitter because I sucked at FinDom. I’ve been in D & s for over 35 years in one way or another (both Pro and online). I chose a while ago to move in to fetish psychology so I could help men primarily be comfortable with their kinks and fetishes so that they can come to YOU ladies and have fun. It’s what I enjoy and have had a calling to do from a very young age but one can’t help someone if they haven’t experienced it. Now you can look at that as some sort of failure if you want but I look at what I’ve been through as more of an evolution. I have many years of wisdom to impart to those who want to hear it. If you don’t want to hear it, simply close the page and move on. That’s what grown ups do.
The fact that I have to explain all this is, in my OPINION, ridiculous but hey some people need flash cards. Oh there I go shaming again… (And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m never going to be overly PC either.) But as you can see below MOST women and men…get it.
So very true! Excellent piece! https://t.co/8MFvMk2Ux6
— Madam Cruella (@MadamCruella) March 21, 2016
— Miss Krystal Goddess (@LatinaGoddessFD) March 21, 2016
@DoctorSue Beautifully written
— ??$†??$$ $?†??? (@DommeGinger) March 18, 2016
@_BeckySurreal @DoctorSue Dr. Sue, I was wondering if it had run its course too.
Although some aspects do seem to still resonate.— SamanthaSummers TSSP (@LadySummersTSSP) March 18, 2016
Yes! The ladies I follow on twitter do it right and I have a few Finsubs still but this is why I moved on mainly. https://t.co/jVREo7wh7J
— Becky Surreal (@_BeckySurreal) March 18, 2016
@DoctorSue ???
— Mistress Cruel Dama (@CruelDama) March 18, 2016
That was a very truthful, straightforward and well written article Dr. Sue. Excellent. https://t.co/KN0eU8RDa8
— Mistress Carol (@mistressc1) March 18, 2016
Great article! https://t.co/lngK7Piyft
— Sasha Conceited (@sasha_conceited) March 18, 2016
Thanks for sharing that, from my sub point of view it’s something that needs to be said even if some don’t like it https://t.co/9mRmklZlwP
— Cinnamon (@supersubG) March 18, 2016
Domme Cassie Foxx
I’m glad I stumbled across your site. This article is well written and what you are saying is totally true. It’s a lot of misleading info out there. As someone who has only been in this industry for less than a year I find this very valuable.
Aaron
This is exactly what happened to me with an “Online Findom”. She didn’t start out as a findom, but her whole goal and target audience was that. It became he official title at point. Once I realized it was me pulling the strings, I played along for a bit. I stopped the money flow after I made her realize this. She was persistent in the first week trying to get me to come back, sending me sex laden emails, and what not. I was polite up until I had enough. I basically just told her what she was doing. I never heard from her again. All she wanted was a 24/7 wanking paying piggy as it is commonly called I think. Still makes me chuckle a little. I don’t know if that sounds like a mean thing to do, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I moved on to a real life woman. One who loves me and vice versa. I went to go out the other day, and realized she has been carrying my bank card for the last three or four days… I totally forgot I gave it to her, when she went shopping… now that is financial domination!
Peyton West
I agree Doc, not everyone is capable of doing Financial Domination. I personally do not feel lead in my day to day that I would be able to just behave as badly as I see thing happening today.
“Fuck You, Pay Me” No ma’am… Cash Point- Meet Ups.. HELL NO.
While I don’t judge anyone for what they do. I often find myself wondering about peoples safety. I worry about the submissive who’s meeting up with a person he’s vulnerable to. Any-one who’s actually sat down and gotten to know me understands that I take that shit seriously.
Again, I’m not judging people for how they chose to make a living. I just wish that a new label would be given to what ever this is that’s happening these days.
Michelle
Yeah, but no comments on the fact that men can be traumatised or mentally unstable then?
If a man is telling a women she’s worthless and doesn’t deserve anything, it’s terrible.
But Findom can be a good thing if done right?
No, it can’t and only sociopaths can do that stuff.
If you actually acknowledge the worth of human beings, you wouldn’t try to degrate them without having the psychological knowledge to be sure that you are not mentally hurting them.
ALL findommes are money hungry sociopaths, nothing more.
People who participate in SM/domination should actively be trying to get rid of the women that ruin their profession.